Irresistible Force (21 page)

Shay looked stunned by the evidence of what she’d done. She lunged at him and grabbed him about the neck. “I’m so sorry. I’m didn’t mean it. Don’t hate me!”

“I don’t hate you, Shay.” He enfolded her, absorbing the shock of her. Her skin was chill from the night air and her extreme emotional state.

He reached a hand toward the sofa and grabbed the throw flung across the back. He wrapped her in it and then adjusted his embrace to bring her tighter against himself to share his warmth.

Fitting her head more snugly into the curve between his shoulder and jaw, he kissed her hair and waited until she stopped sobbing, this time in remorse.

Finally, she stilled against him, all the fight and fear ebbed away on her tears.

He continued to hold her tight in one arm while his free hand stroked down her back. “It’s okay, Shay. It’s really going to be okay. We’ll figure something out.”

She didn’t say anything, just pushed her arms up through the covers until her hands were framing his face. And then she smothered his words with kisses. It stung a bit and he wondered fleetingly if she realized he was still bleeding.

Finally, she moved a little away from him. But not by much. Her sorrow-soaked gaze bored into his. “You can stay.”

He tilted his head back to better see her. “You’ve been through a lot tonight.”

She slid a thumb over his split lip. “You can stay.”

He hesitated to act on her invitation. So much had gone down between them tonight. Much as he wanted to, and as easy as passion was between them, she was exhausted. And enough people had taken advantage of her in her life.

“We’ve got time.”

He stood and then picked her up with surprising ease. She hooked a hand over his shoulder and rocked her head against his neck as he carried her to the bedroom. When he bent to place her on the mattress, she wrapped her arm tighter to hold on to him. “Please stay.”

He made a purely masculine sound of distress. She couldn’t see his face in the darkness but she knew he was trying to do the honorable thing.

“Stay here.” She pointed to the bed. “All night.”

“Okay.” It sounded nothing like surrender. “I’ve got to walk Bogart then I’ll be back. Promise.”

Shay nodded, letting her body relax against the bedding.

*   *   *

James was as grateful as he’d ever been in his life for the fact that Shay was asleep when he returned from walking Bogart. That didn’t stop him from staring.

She had undressed while he was out. Sprawled on her tummy, she slept in a lacy tank and a tiny pair of pink briefs with a single black sheep printed on the rear. That black sheep boldly hugged the generous swells of her butt. Her long legs were tangled in the bedding she’d half pulled back before collapsing, his guess, onto the bed. Her dark hair spilled across the pillow. Every soft womanly curve spoke directly to his libido. He’d never had a better silent invitation. Or a tougher test of his morals.

Shifting his duffel from his shoulder, he tried not to make a sound that would awaken her as he stripped down to his skivvies. Then he carefully worked the bedding down her legs to free them and re-covered her up to her neck. Only then did he stretch out beside her, on top of the bedding. He was a decent man but he wasn’t a saint.

He knew it would be a while before he could relax. Instead, he went over in his mind with an officer’s precision all that she had told him. She still felt responsible for things that had been out of her control. It was not unusual for victims of violence to blame themselves. But it tore him up to know that the very people who were supposed to protect her had heaped blame on her, as well. He had felt a lot of things while she talked, mostly he’d wanted to grab and hold her until he had absorbed all her pain and anguish. It was more than sympathy. It cut right through to his core. Shay Appleton had been messing with his head since the moment he first saw her. Now she had burrowed into something else a foot lower and to the left, which shoook him more.

He turned toward her. She was facing him, her lashes dark smudges on her upper cheeks. Her lips were parted, moist and soft.

He looked away. If Shay were a sheep, then he was here to be her sheepdog guardian. But his dick kept twitching like the tail of a fox. It was going to be a long night.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Her body throbbed in protest that they weren’t done yet. Mercy, not nearly done!

Shay scrambled through the drag of dream-filled desire to consciousness. Where was James? They’d been talking. No, she’d been talking. Too much. She’d told him all the terrible truths about her life. And yet, underneath it all, she could not shake the need swamping her every time she glanced his way. She wanted him bad. But it was a lost cause. He had left. This time, she was sure, for good.

Blinking away tears in the darkness, she watched the familiar surroundings of her bedroom, dimly lit by the tiny bulb from the fire alarm in the ceiling, gradually come into focus.

The dream had left her damp and shaky with desire. For James. Who wasn’t here and wasn’t coming back.

Sighing in regret, she slid fingers across the sheet and came up against a firm hairy thigh. She turned her head on the pillow. James was lying there beside her, sound asleep.

She almost burst out with laughter in relief. She had long ago stopped believing in miracles. They didn’t happen for her. Yet here he was.

Her hand moved up over the top of his thigh, feeling his heat against her palm. The delicious sensation forced her eyes closed. He was here. With her. That must mean something. She didn’t dare put a name to it.

Smiling at the thoughts floating through her mind, she opened her eyes and felt a zing of surprise. James had turned his head and was staring straight at her.

“Hi.” His voice was husky but it wasn’t with sleep.

“Hi.” Hers trembled with desire. Since there was nothing else to say, she walked her fingers up the warm hard surface of his thigh until she encountered the edge of his briefs.

James felt his entire body clench in response to her light touch.

Don’t hurt her more than she’s already been hurt.

Thoughts such as that usually came with a voice attached. His mother’s for manners. His grandmother’s for common sense. His dad’s for duty. This one came straight from his own heart, directed at his libido.

He grasped her fingers and squeezed them, hard. “You don’t owe me anything.”

His rough whisper told Shay all she needed to know about how to proceed. He wasn’t going to take advantage of her. He was worried that she might be damaged or too fragile after her confession to withstand his brand of lovemaking.

He had forgotten how tough she could be. Or determined, when she wanted something very badly. She needed to remind him.

She owed this to herself. This would be something good and positive to hold on to during the next dark night in her life.

She rose up on an elbow, close enough to see the light from the ceiling reflected like twin stars in his eyes. “What if we owe each other?”

James reached for her hand and pulled it toward his crotch. “This?”

Her fingers flexed in anticipation of the feel of him. Instead he released her just short of the goal.

Luckily, it was only one short inch.

She touched him, sliding two fingers lightly down the placket of his briefs. The caress made his breath escape in a swoosh.

She didn’t look up, more fascinated by the interesting mound to the left of the row of stitching. Should she just…?

She stroked the bulge and found his cock hard as a lead pipe. A shudder passed through him. He was trying so hard to be noble. But he wasn’t that noble. She knew what she’d uncover if she lowered his shorts. She’d already seen and touched. Thick and impressively long, his shaft would jut proudly from the nest of tight curls.

She sucked in a quick breath as her womb contracted at the image she’d conjured. Her hand reflexively closed over the cloth covering his erection and he sucked in a more ragged breath in response.

He’d said earlier he wanted foreplay. She’d never been asked to take the lead, not in any way that gave her full control. It wasn’t that she’d never thought of it. But she had never been with a man who made her want to lose her natural inhibitions. James made her want to turn herself inside out for his pleasure.

Could she lead in the game of seduction? It felt thrilling and empowering to think about, and it was making her damn horny.

She sat up and reached for the bottom edge of her top and pulled it over her head before she could think too much about what she was doing.

She saw his eyes gleaming in the dark as he looked at her. But he couldn’t really see much. She leaned over and switched on the bedside lamp. He blinked and then his gaze went wide as he looked at her. She held it for only a fraction of a second before hers darted away. What did the girls in the videos do?

She closed her eyes and reached up and rubbed her hand over first one mound and then the other, taking pleasure in the feel of her own flesh. Her hands scooped under and around until she cupped the full weight of each breast in her hands. Her nipples were firm and pebbly as they pressed into her palms. If he touched her like this, she would moan in rapture.

“Shay?”

Her eyes popped open. He was frowning at her, as if something else was called for. She just didn’t know what. Was she making a fool of herself? Probably. Confused, she shifted away from him, turning her back.

She felt him moving on the bed. Almost immediately, she felt a touch on her back, one finger tracing up her spine from waist to the back of her neck.

“You don’t have to try so hard to please me, Shay. Just being with you does that.”

The heat of his slightly abrasive fingers skimmed the back of her neck, shifting the curtain of her hair aside. He leaned in and placed a kiss behind her right ear. The shudder of delight that passed through her body startled her. Just the touch of his lips anywhere was seismic.

His finger went roaming down her back again until it came up against the waistband of her bikini panties. It skimmed from side to side then paused at the top of her cleft, bared by the low waistband. Shay held her breath as his finger slid slowly down over the swatch of fabric concealing her butt and then cupped her.

He leaned in again, this time catching her earlobe in his teeth. “Always been partial to black sheep. Just how
baaaad
can we be?”

He was trying to lighten the moment but her heart was too full to respond. She had awakened ready for him. Could not handle anything less.

“Shay?”

She shook her head, afraid she was going to do something dumb like cry.

“This is for you,” he whispered into her ear. “All you want, as much as you want, as long as you want it. Change your mind, just say no.”

His hands slipped slowly up her arms before cupping her shoulders and drawing her back against the hard-muscled planes of his chest, cocooning her with the heat of his body. The skin-to-skin contract was devastating to her sanity, overriding her with sensations she’d never felt before. His heart beat behind her left shoulder blade, a little fast but solid. He scooted in until his erection pressed against her. But his hands were gentle. Nothing said he had lost control, would not yield to her command. She didn’t know how to handle that. He felt strong and capable, and his tenderness was taking apart every defense she’d ever built.

Then his hands slipped past her sides and his fingers worked up under hers to cup her breasts.

He nuzzled her neck. “You’re so soft. And sexy, Shay.”

He took his time, playing with each nipple separately, as if each were a little present not to be missed. It was an excruciating tease, shifting her excitement into a higher gear.

Finally he dropped his hands from her breasts and scooted back. She felt cool air move in between them. Then the shock of his tongue, warm and sinuous between her shoulder blades, made her gasp. After a few more licks, he pushed her to the edge of the bed and lifted her to her feet. He slid up behind her and pulled her back between his spread legs. “This is for you, Shay.”

His warm wet tongue found the indentation of the small of her back, using long licking strokes to trace her spine. Both hands slid into her waistband, pushing her bikini bottoms down. His tongue followed the exposed indentation of her spine downward, each lick moving a little closer to her cleft.

He reached around to the front with both hands. One splayed across her lower belly to hold her while the other moved down to cup her mound. Forced so tightly against him, Shay had to bend forward slightly to keep her balance as his fingers delved deep into the vee of her body. Then his rasping tongue slipped into the shallow dimple at the base of her spine.

Shay whimpered in pleasure laced with embarrassment. She couldn’t help herself. She pushed her hips against his probing fingers, opening for him so that he could find her melting wet center.

He took his time, fingers moving in a slow pulsing rhythm between the slick wet folds of her body. No man had ever touched her so gently and with such assurance. His tongue and teeth licked and nipped up and down her spine in time to the friction of his fingers as he made love to her with everything but his cock.

It was wicked and so strange, and so good!

When he finally lifted his head, his voice was deeper than she’d ever heard it. “This is all for you, Shay. You deserve to be appreciated. To feel every good thing a man can give you.”

Dry-mouthed but weeping below from his stroking, Shay couldn’t deny it. Yet some protective corner of her female brain told her not to surrender completely.

“
Hm,
it’s better when you fully participate.” Damn. She sounded as breathless as Marilyn Monroe.

He chuckled but it sounded half strangled by desire.

He withdrew from her slowly and then his hands on her bare hips were turning her to face him. He kissed her navel, darting his tongue into it before lifting his head and smiling at her. His fingers peeled her panties down her hips. “You want more.” He kissed her below her navel. “You’ll get more.” His kiss moved lower still.