Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) (25 page)

BOOK: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
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Table of Contents

Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
HELLO
Introduction
Alternate Titles for This Book
I FORGET NOTHING: A SENSITIVE KID LOOKS BACK
Chubby for Life
I Am Not an Athlete
Don’t Peak in High School
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (Or, How I Made My First Real Friend)
I LOVE NEW YORK AND IT LIKES ME OKAY
Failing at Everything in the Greatest City on Earth
The Exact Level of Fame I Want
Karaoke Etiquette
Day Jobs
Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities
Matt & Ben & Mindy & Brenda
HOLLYWOOD: MY GOOD FRIEND WHO IS ALSO A LITTLE EMBARRASSING
Types of Women in Romantic Comedies Who Are Not Real
All About The Office
Franchises I Would Like to Reboot
Contributing Nothing at Saturday Night Live
Roasts Are Terrible
My Favorite Eleven Moments in Comedy
How I Write
The Day I Stopped Eating Cupcakes
Somewhere in Hollywood Someone Is Pitching This Movie
THE BEST DISTRACTION IN THE WORLD: ROMANCE AND GUYS
Someone Explain One-Night Stands to Me
“Hooking Up” Is Confusing
I Love Irish Exits
Guys Need to Do Almost Nothing to Be Great
Non-Traumatic Things That Have Made Me Cry
Jewish Guys
Men and Boys
In Defense of Chest Hair
Married People Need to Step It Up
Why Do Men Put on Their Shoes So Slowly?
MY APPEARANCE: THE FUN AND THE REALLY NOT FUN
When You’re Not Skinny, This Is What People Want You to Wear
These Are the Narcissistic Photos in My BlackBerry
Revenge Fantasies While Jogging
MY ALL-IMPORTANT LEGACY
Strict Instructions for My Funeral
A Eulogy for Mindy Kaling, by Michael Schur
Good-bye
Acknowledgments

Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

HELLO

Introduction

Alternate Titles for This Book

I FORGET NOTHING: A SENSITIVE KID LOOKS BACK

Chubby for Life

I Am Not an Athlete

Don’t Peak in High School

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (Or, How I Made My First Real Friend)

I LOVE NEW YORK AND IT LIKES ME OKAY

Failing at Everything in the Greatest City on Earth

The Exact Level of Fame I Want

Karaoke Etiquette

Day Jobs

Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities

Matt & Ben & Mindy & Brenda

HOLLYWOOD: MY GOOD FRIEND WHO IS ALSO A LITTLE EMBARRASSING

Types of Women in Romantic Comedies Who Are Not Real

All About The Office

Franchises I Would Like to Reboot

Contributing Nothing at Saturday Night Live

Roasts Are Terrible

My Favorite Eleven Moments in Comedy

How I Write

The Day I Stopped Eating Cupcakes

Somewhere in Hollywood Someone Is Pitching This Movie

THE BEST DISTRACTION IN THE WORLD: ROMANCE AND GUYS

Someone Explain One-Night Stands to Me

“Hooking Up” Is Confusing

I Love Irish Exits

Guys Need to Do Almost Nothing to Be Great

Non-Traumatic Things That Have Made Me Cry

Jewish Guys

Men and Boys

In Defense of Chest Hair

Married People Need to Step It Up

Why Do Men Put on Their Shoes So Slowly?

MY APPEARANCE: THE FUN AND THE REALLY NOT FUN

When You’re Not Skinny, This Is What People Want You to Wear

These Are the Narcissistic Photos in My BlackBerry

Revenge Fantasies While Jogging

MY ALL-IMPORTANT LEGACY

Strict Instructions for My Funeral

A Eulogy for Mindy Kaling, by Michael Schur

Good-bye

Acknowledgments

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