Is Three A Crowd? (13 page)

Would both men allow her to share them? Wandering along the lake path, she smiled at her concept. Would they know this was what she’d been thinking? In a way, she hoped so. Then she wouldn’t have to say the words aloud. Could she say them aloud and mean them? Yes, she decided. While unconventional, Maris decided the only way to determine her true wants and needs was by experiencing both men. She laughed aloud as she pictured sitting them down and telling them she seriously wanted them both. She assumed Blake would go along, but would Nathan?

With her walk over, she went back to the hotel and packed her bags. Checked out of the hotel, she drove her pickup to the Chateau, pausing before a small stone home on the outskirts of the property. When she’d appraised the home, it gave her a feeling of peace. The furnishings were to her taste, and she easily pictured spending time there. She wasn’t prepared for Aminta to open the front door, a broad smile on his face, the first one she’d seen. She left her truck where it was and allowed the dog to wander without her leash.

“Shin, this is home for a while. Come back after your run.” The dog wagged her tail as if she understood and scampered off into the surrounding woods.

“Aminta, it seems you’ve predicted my mood.”

“This was always one of your favorite spots on the land. You’d come here to get away from life’s annoyances.”

“Life’s annoyances.” It was an interesting perspective.

“I believe you felt at home here, relaxed in this environment.”

“I see.”

He opened the door wider for her to enter. She saw it had been cleaned since her appraisal, and fresh flowers were placed in several spots within view. The logs in the fireplace were glowing, small sparks filtering up the chimney.

“The bedroom and bath have been readied for you. There’s food in the kitchen. Of course, anything you need, just phone the Chateau.”

“Did Nathan and Blake ask you to do this, or did you just know?”

“It felt right,” he said, avoiding her direct look by pausing to fluff a cushion. “I’ll get your bags.”

Maris stood in the main living area while Aminta brought in her luggage and followed him as he set them on the bench beside the closet in the larger bedroom. “Would you like me to unpack for you? Or I could have a maid come down and settle you in?”

“No, thanks, I’ll unpack later. Do my men have plans later? I’d like to see them for supper. I’ll come to the Chateau, say around seven. Please ask Cook to make something light tonight.” He nodded as he headed towards the door.

“Aminta, thank you for taking care of Shin when I head back to
New York
.” She looked around the home, felt at home, something she hadn’t felt in a long time. “And for anticipating my needs.”

“Of course. Ring the house if you need anything before supper. Shall I pick you up?”

“No, I’ll walk or drive myself.” She hesitated and finally added, “Do I have to censor myself around you?”

“Never.”

“Thank you. I’ll come to the house later.”

Again, he nodded but didn’t give her any verbal answer, leaving her alone in the small stone house. She plopped down on the sofa and stared into the flames. “Tomorrow I’ll go back and get my history, but today I just want to nap.” Tugging a throw pillow closer, she snuggled down on the cushions, and sleep came rapidly.

Maris woke with a start and realized Shin was outside the front door, barking to come in. “Good girl,” she said when the dog trotted in and lay before the fire. It had burned down while she slept, and she added a few logs to keep it from dying out. Refreshed from her nap, she showered and dressed for supper in casual jeans and a sweater. She used little makeup and let her hair flow free. The walk to the Chateau was longer than she’d anticipated, but the cool evening air was refreshing.

As usual, Aminta opened the front door at her arrival, not giving her time to knock. She acknowledged him with a smile and headed to the parlor. Nervous knots of anticipation swirled through her belly.

“Good evening, gentlemen.” She stood in the doorway, taking in their appearances. Both were dressed casually, in jeans and button- down shirts. Both were extremely handsome men. With that thought, her nipples budded through her bra and sweater, becoming prominent. Blake smiled, and Nathan ignored the change.

“Well, have I annoyed either of you by moving into the stone house instead of this one? It seems Aminta was aware of my decision before I was.” She laughed and moved to the bar, helping herself to the white wine that was already open. “Can I get either of you a refill?”

“I’m fine,” Nathan said, his tone tight.

“Not just yet,” Blake answered, his smile tugging at his lips. He wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding it.

“What will lighten your mood, Nathan? You seem tense.”

“Tell me I’m your choice, and I’ll be a happy man forever.”

Blake cleared his throat at Nathan’s answer. They exchanged silent glares and turned back to her. Laughing aloud wasn’t the preferred response, but it was what she gave them.

“Really, haven’t we gotten past all this? Nathan, just relax and let me get to know both of you before making any decisions.” She moved to her favorite lounge and glanced to see Shin lying by the doorway.

“For general information, I’ve finished my appraisal of the entire property and the reports have been e-mailed back to the office.” She glanced around the room. “I’m glad appraising this Chateau wasn’t my responsibility. I don’t think I could have been unbiased. I realize how much I’ve come to love this place.” She sighed, but continued on before either man could interrupt. “I’m going back tomorrow alone. I expect to be back within a week. So, with business out of the way, I’ll have a clear mind.” Blake moved to sit in an armchair across from her while Nathan stood before the glass wall.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to go with you?”

“Yes, I’m sure I need to do this alone.”

“You won’t go through the files until you get back here, with us nearby?” Blake seemed agitated.

“I told you I wouldn’t. Did I always go back on my word with you? Forget I asked, I don’t think I want to know.” She put her hand up to end any further conversation on the topic. “Let’s just eat.” She offered this as a truce, not commenting that Nathan was usually less cranky after their meals. It seemed to grate on Nathan that she and Blake were enjoying the food and the company more than he was at first, until he finally relaxed and became part of the party.

* * * *

“I’ll walk you home,” Blake offered. He studied her face for just a moment before amending his statement to, “We’ll walk you home.” His small grin made her smile.

“Nathan, are you up for a walk?” Nathan grunted, but placed his glass on the mantel and followed them to the front door.

“Good night, Aminta,” she called out in the foyer, and the man appeared instantly.

“Safe travel,” he said with a slight nod.

“I’ll be safe. I have my men to get back to.” Maris was enjoying the new position she held. Outside, she whistled, and Shin came running from the back of the house. The dog started trotting in front of them down the road. She locked her left hand around Nathan’s arm and her right around Blake’s. They wandered down the long driveway, the lights of the Chateau lessening with each step.

“Seriously, what will happen to the man I don’t choose?”

“The other will walk away.” Blake’s words were terse.

“And he’ll stay away, no interference or meddling. Once you choose…” Nathan stopped talking.

“One of you will give up your entire life here, just walk away from all of this, what you’ve built and your business? That doesn’t seem fair.”

Nathan laughed for the first time since supper. “Life is not fair, Maris. If it were, we’d all be in different situations.”

“If it were, we wouldn’t be in the predicament we are.” Blake let out a sigh and tightened his hand over hers on his arm.

“So I’m the cause of the irritation between you.”

“I know this all sounds so cryptic to you. When you regain your memories, it will all fit into place.” Nathan drew his arm from her hand, as if to distance himself from her.

“One of us deserves to have a happy life with you.” She’d never heard Blake sound so restless.

“Don’t both of you deserve to be happy, to stay on the land and in the home you’ve so carefully built?”

“In a perfect world,” Nathan mused, “but this isn’t a perfect world. If it were, we’d be long past this now.”

They arrived at the small stone home she was using. She stood on her toes and kissed Nathan’s left cheek before leaning to kiss Blake’s the same way. Maris whistled for Shin and opened the front door. The dog hesitated by the men, waiting until each gave her the required pet before scooting inside.

“Good night,” she said and went inside, pausing at the door, turning back to look at each man. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to make a choice knowing I’m sending the other from his home and land. I know what it’s like to live in limbo. I don’t want the responsibility of sending either of you into that sort of purgatory. I’ll start going through the documents when I get back. Hopefully I’ll find the explanations I need.”

She let out a heavy breath and closed the door to both of them. Shin was already lying in front of the fireplace.

“Well, girl, it’s time to find out who I was and who I want to be now. I can’t keep both of those men in limbo forever, and apparently that’s where they’ve been for a long time.

* * * *

Maris decided she couldn’t wait any longer. Realizing she was literally holding both men’s futures in her decisions, she patted Shin and left her before the fireplace. She stopped in the master bedroom and stripped as she walked through. It was a beautiful room decorated in muted tones of tan and white. It was very soothing, she decided. Nothing seemed changed from when she toured it days before to finish her appraisal work. The bathroom seemed the same, except that her toiletries and cosmetics were now laid out, along with fresh towels.

She languished under the hot shower spray, letting it work out the kinks in her neck. When she felt revived, she forced herself to dry off. Her clothing had been unpacked anyway, and her robe was hanging on the inside of the closet door. She grabbed the old, soft chenille covering and padded to the lit fireplace. A smile crossed her lips when she realized someone, Aminta or a maid, would have seen her dildo while unpacking. She rummaged in the top drawer where her underwear was placed. When it wasn’t there, she moved to the nightstand. Opening the drawer, she saw it still wrapped in the red velvet bag it came in. A bright reading light was turned on behind a large wingback chair beside it.

“I suppose this will be a perfect spot to read by,” she mused aloud, then headed to the large bed. As soon as she slipped between the sheets, she felt a feeling of peace she’d not remembered. Maris fell asleep and woke rested the next morning. She felt guilty leaving Shin behind, standing beside Aminta in the driveway. Nevertheless, she knew it was the right thing to do, mainly because it would force her to come back to the Chateau instead of running away. Deep inside, she knew it was an option, but one she wouldn’t take after having met and spent time with her men.

Chapter Eleven

While the trip was long and boring, her mind was consumed with thoughts of Nathan and Blake. They were so different from each other, but so much alike. When she hit the outskirts of
Manhattan
, traffic mounted, and she had to concentrate on staying in the correct lane or she’d wind up taking the long way around to get home.

Home. The word stuck in her mind. The apartment she rented wasn’t a home. It was just a place where she spent time away from work. She’d never stopped to make it feel like a real home, keeping it and herself in a transitory state, waiting each day for some small inkling of her past life. While her mother had approved, she realized before the accident, her mother’s approval wasn’t valued. Afterward, it was easy to accept her version of life, not knowing where to start on her own.

Whatever her decisions were, she knew if she decided to come back to the city to live, she’d find another apartment, one she could settle in. For now, she experienced the horror of trying to find a parking spot. She walked the block and a half to her building, studying it from the outside. It was nondescript, just as her apartment inside was. She got an odd chill up her spine and quickly glanced around. Nobody seemed to be staring at her, but she was uneasy. Entering the lobby, she wished it had a doorman for security. She used the open staircase instead of the elevator and locked herself inside the apartment, the feeling of unease still with her.