Isaiah (2 page)

Isaiah believed it. Cliff was all but glowing now talking about it. He wondered if Cliff always spoke so poetically of his love, if he was so well-spoken on other subjects, or if it was Quincy and what they’d had together that gilded his tongue.

“Quincy and I never wanted anyone else,” Cliff continued. “We were it for each other, and there was no need to go messing around. We held each other’s heart, and that is a treasure, and an honour. No real man, or woman, would abuse such a gift.” Once again, tears streamed down Cliff’s cheeks. His lower lip trembled, and Isaiah shuffled his feet, wishing he had enough balls to hug him. “Then he started having trouble eating, and the doctor found the tumour, and it didn’t matter how much Quincy fought, it still took him from me.”

Fuck it, he could just about risk being embarrassed. Isaiah took a couple of steps forward and opened his arms. Cliff sobbed and Isaiah’s heart broke for the man. Maybe he didn’t want to find someone after all, not if this was what happened to the one left behind.

Except Cliff had been so happy, and Isaiah didn’t doubt that Quincy had been, too. “It was worth it,” Cliff sniffled, as if reading Isaiah’s mind. “Every second we had together, every second I could touch Quincy, see him, hear him. I wouldn’t change anything, except to love him even more, if possible.”

Oh, Isaiah’s eyes burned and so did the tip of his nose. His sense of scent was skewed from the motor oil and other chemicals in the shop, but he thought he could still possibly smell the sincerity, even, of Cliff’s words, catch the sweet promise of his love.

Maybe I can have a flowery thought, too.

“Oh dear, look at the mess I’ve made,” Cliff mumbled, swiping at Isaiah’s chest. “Your coveralls are all wet and I’m not sure that’s just tears on them.”

Cliff looked mortified but Isaiah laughed, not that he was going to look and see what was left on the material. “It’s okay, Cliff. These things have dirt and oil and God knows what else all over ‘em. I have a washer and dryer on site and a shower in the back I use most nights before I go home.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Cliff looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. “I could pay to have it…dry-cleaned?” He seemed to realise the ridiculousness of that as soon as he said it and he chuckled. “Silly me, right?”

Isaiah huffed a laugh himself and patted Cliff’s bony back gently. “This ol’ thing ain’t worth the cost of dry-cleaning, but I do appreciate the thought.”

www.total-e-bound.com

ISAIAH

Bailey Bradford

10

Cliff’s smile was tremulous at first but it soon blossomed into one that Isaiah would bet had charmed Quincy from the start. “You are a sweet young man, putting up with a melodramatic old geezer like me. Thank you.”

“It was—” Isaiah began, only to shut up when Cliff pointed at him. “What?”

“You need to stop going to that club, and start going places where nice young men are,”

Cliff chided. “Isaiah, there are gay churches here in Denver, and ways to meet online, I’ve heard—”

“Oh no, nuh-uh,” Isaiah interrupted. He’d seen some of those online places, and that one phone app, Grindr, and it just wasn’t for him. Some of those, if not all of them, were at least as bad as Cinders.

Cliff caught his wrist and it was only then Isaiah realised he’d been retreating like some big coward. He stopped and Cliff gave his wrist a squeeze before speaking again. “There’s still church, and if nothing else, you could spend the time you waste at clubs volunteering for one of the GLBTQ centers. There’s a youth centre not far from here that just re-opened after receiving some much needed donations. I know for a fact they could use all the help they can get.”

“What’s it called?” Isaiah asked. He’d thought of volunteering somewhere before but didn’t know what he could contribute. But surely, even if all he did was sweep floors or something, it’d help, right?

“It’s just called The Heart, and if you are truly interested, I can give you the name of who to talk to.” Cliff was digging in his pocket, pulling out his wallet. “There’s a new staff director there. She’s young but very intelligent and dedicated to helping kids in our community.”

Isaiah took the card Cliff handed him and studied it. There was nothing fancy about it, it was just a cream-coloured business card with Bae Allen Warren, DVM, and a couple of phone and fax numbers printed on it. “I think you gave me the wrong card. This one’s for a veterinarian.” But he wasn’t eager to give it back. It felt good in his hand, the paper soft and smooth on his rough skin. Isaiah thumbed over the name and smeared oily residue on the card and immediately felt guilty, as if he’d done something wrong or ruined something pure.

He was just full of drama, wasn’t he?

www.total-e-bound.com

ISAIAH

Bailey Bradford

11

Cliff pulled at the edge of the card, squinting as he hunched over to look at it. “Oh, oh no, that’s Dr Warren, a veterinarian who might start volunteering there, too. He’s very cute, and single, I believe.” Cliff winked at him and Isaiah couldn’t think of a word to say when his face felt so hot all the sudden. “You keep that card. He left several at the centre. Here.”

This time Cliff read the card he plucked from his wallet. “Yes, this is who you need to talk to, Sandy Singh. She’s truly a wonderful person. The Heart is lucky to have her.”

“I don’t know what I could do, but yeah, I can call.” He looked up when Cliff snorted and jerked his wrist. “What? I’m not a veterinarian. I don’t have those kind of degrees.”

“You don’t know what you could do?” Cliff let go of him and waved at his car. “How about teach some of those kids a skill they could use to support themselves? There are boys and girls there who’ve been kicked out of their homes, and their future, although we’re trying to help them, is very shaky.”

“We?” Isaiah couldn’t help but ask. It was easier to focus on that than think of trying to teach a class of kids, although maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Wasn’t like he’d be standing up front in a real class room.

“Yes, we,” Cliff clarified, tipping his chin up as if daring Isaiah to say something about it. Why would he, though? “Quincy and I both volunteered there for the past seven years.

When Quincy passed, I used his life insurance to help them re-open. I still volunteer there as often as possible. It…helps.”

“I’m sure it does, you and the kids, too,” Isaiah murmured, humbled once again by Cliff and his kindness. And Quincy’s. Isaiah really wished he’d have got to meet him before he’d died, even if it would have hurt when he passed. As Cliff had said, it’d have been worth it, he thought. “Okay, I’ll make sure to talk to Sandy Singh next week.”

Cliff’s smile was one Isaiah couldn’t read this time, and his shifter senses weren’t any help, either, damn it. “Yes, you be sure and do that.” He jangled the keys. “I don’t suppose you’d like to go for a ride with an old man?”

Isaiah had the feeling Cliff was up to something. Nothing bad, but the guy was definitely gloating.

Well no wonder, The Heart is his baby, it sounds like. He’s just glad to rope in another volunteer. And maybe I can help some kids, like he said.

www.total-e-bound.com

ISAIAH

Bailey Bradford

12

“All right, Cliff,” Isaiah said as he winked at the old man again, “let’s go and you can show me whatcha got.” He didn’t worry Cliff would take it wrong. The man wasn’t a slut and he loved his deceased partner.

“More like you’re going to show me what you did to my baby,” Cliff retorted, tossing the keys. “This really is a young man’s car at heart.”

Isaiah disagreed, but he wasn’t going to argue. He caught the keys and hollered at his helper, Dorso, to keep an eye on the place, then he took the sweet man and the sweet Camaro out for a ride.

www.total-e-bound.com

ISAIAH

Bailey Bradford

13

It took him a little over a week, but Isaiah finally got his butt in gear, or, more to the point, worked up the courage to schedule an appointment with Sandy Singh. He kept her card tucked away in his wallet, but the vet’s card he kept in his shirt pocket. For some reason, he’d kind of made that card a talisman or something.

The formerly cream coloured card was now more of a grey from Isaiah’s frequent handling of it. He regretted ruining the soft shade, but hadn’t been able to resist touching it.

Every time he felt doubtful of his ability to contribute anything useful to The Heart, Isaiah would take that card out and look at it. Why, he didn’t know.

He liked the way the name sounded, and he thought occasionally he could catch a whiff of a fragrance on the card that made him tingle through and through. Stupid, but he’d always been weird. Honestly, seeing those letters there, DVM, could have been intimidating.

If a veterinarian was going to be volunteering there, what use would they have for someone like Isaiah?

Any time Isaiah had doubts like that, he’d let Cliff’s words replay in his mind and help battle back the criticisms Isaiah hurled at himself. He thought about his brother Tim, the doctor, and himself, the mechanic. Who was to say every kid at The Heart wanted to be, or was capable of being, a doctor? Isaiah wasn’t, and there wasn’t any shame in that. Yeah, he could feel inferior about it at times, but he shouldn’t. He wouldn’t want anyone else to, and if he could help someone out, he needed to do it.

Isaiah was his own harshest critic, always had been, but he wasn’t a bad person. He’d barely made it through school, but getting his certified mechanic’s licence had been all right.

There wasn’t a vehicle made Isaiah couldn’t work on. It seemed to come naturally to him, putting parts together and knowing how to fix a vehicle. Tim didn’t know a radiator cap from a hubcap, and that didn’t make Tim stupid by any means.

He just wished he was as good with words and learning other stuff. Reading had always been a trial for him. Try as he might, Isaiah simply didn’t enjoy it and he had trouble www.total-e-bound.com

ISAIAH

Bailey Bradford

14

retaining what he read. It took lots of note-taking on his part to get through school, and the associate’s degree he’d got in college had damn near killed him.

There might be kids at The Heart like him. Cliff had made a good point. If Isaiah could help some of the kids learn a skill to keep them from being on the streets hustling or doing whatever else they had to just to survive, well then, maybe Isaiah should own up to the truth of his hesitation.

He was fucking scared. Scared of fucking up, of looking like a fool, of letting someone down. Namely, of not being enough to help in any major way.

I don’t have to help in any major way, though. I just need to do my best, and put my heart into
it. That’s what matters.
Isaiah could almost hear his Grandma Marybeth telling him those very words. If she knew how insecure he was about, well, just about everything other than his ability to be a good mechanic, she’d swat him one for sure. Then she’d hug him and set about lecturing and loving him. His grandma was pretty spectacular. She had to be, considering her entire shifter clan had been slaughtered in the Himalayas decades ago, and she’d managed to survive and build a good life half the world away.

“Stop stalling.” Isaiah cringed a little at his rusty voice. He cleared his throat and tugged at the collar of his shirt. He checked his nails and grimaced. Yeah, he should be used to the grease that never came off, but sometimes he wished it would. He wanted to make a good impression—and it was stupid to be worrying about his nails considering what he did for a living. Now if he were a doctor and had such gritty hands, then he’d have reason to be embarrassed, right?

Isaiah huffed, frustrated at the doubts plaguing him. He gave himself a once-over, noting his thick auburn hair was curling at the edges of his collar. He needed a trim, or maybe he’d let it grow, like Tim’s hair, leave it long. No, that’d be weird, like he was trying to copy Tim or whatever, and besides, Isaiah didn’t need the hassle of dealing with long hair.

And it would pure-D suck to get it caught up in a belt or fan blade or something. So, yeah, no long hair for him.

“And there’s another two minutes spent stalling,” Isaiah grumbled. He pushed a heavy lock of hair back behind his ear, the gesture automatic. His green-speckled brown eyes seemed brighter somehow, so he guessed either the dark circles beneath them or the soft blue of his denim shirt set them off pretty nicely. “Probably the bags.” Isaiah poked beneath his eyes. He’d had trouble sleeping, and a weird urge to shift and run in his snow leopard form.

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ISAIAH

Bailey Bradford

15

Weird, because shifting hurt like a bitch and he just didn’t do it except on the rare occasions he was at his grandma’s. Honestly, Isaiah didn’t know what was wrong with him lately. He was as melancholy and moody as an emo kid. Self-doubts were nothing new, but generally he didn’t dwell on them. He was content, if lonely at times.

Maybe it was because the family reunion was coming up next month. Isaiah usually loved seeing his large extended family, but last year had been the end of something, in a way. He’d always been close to his cousins Levi and Oscar—as close as Oscar would let him be, at least—and had looked forward to hanging out with them. But they both now had mates, which was a new concept. Apparently shifters had a soul mate out there somewhere, or most of them did. No one seemed real clear on the whole thing yet, but anyway, if a shifter found their mate, well that was it. They were love-sunk and ball and chained, happily so.

Which meant Levi and Oscar would be busy cooing over their men, just like Tim would be doing over Otto and vice versa. Isaiah couldn’t blame them, and damn, but Tim’s partner, Otto? He was hot as fuck, with his slightly exotic looks. Born and raised for several years in Mongolia, Otto’s mom was a snow leopard shifter native to the area. His dad was Irish or something like that, and Otto was the best mix of both.

Great. Now I’m perving on my brother’s man. Fucking jerk, that’s what I am.
But it wasn’t like Isaiah wanted to do anything with Otto, he just thought he was attractive. Truth be told, Otto was a bit too butch for him. Isaiah didn’t want to examine why that was so, not when he suspected it had to do with his insecurities. Some psych thing, like he needed to feel big and strong to make up for not being the brightest beacon in the storm or whatever.