Island Rush (25 page)

“Hey,” he yelled, running up from behind me.

“I just… feel like walking this way.  I have no idea why. But… it’s like pulling me.”  I never had a feeling like this before. 

“What are you talking about, Janice?”

I groaned. “I don’t know.” I sidestepped the roots, broken branches, and scattered nature from the storm. I was able to spot the ocean through the trees in the distance. I didn’t make it any closer.

My foot caught something I missed, something hidden under all the leaves and sticks, and it made me stumble down to the ground.  I groaned, thinking how my body was too sore to go through this kind of torture.  Opening my eyes after falling to the ground, I turned and stared up to where he was gazing down at me.  He was the smart one to watch where he was going.

“Jesus,” I groaned, rolling around to get in position to sit up. But I stopped upon hitting what made me trip.  On my stomach and confused, I shifted so I could get a better look at what it was.  All I saw was a large pile of leaves, sticks, and clumps of mud left from what the storm brought.  Something wasn’t right or natural about it, though. I reached my hand out and laid it over the large mass, putting a little pressure on it. It was hard, and my eyebrows dipped in confusion. “What…?”

I brushed the debris away, and my breath cut off at the sight. My stomach felt hollow, and my body froze. I never thought it was possible to have my heart jump so high in my chest.  Or to know the feeling of the hair on the nape of my neck stand on end. Right then, it happened, and I felt it all.

My mother laid there, wrapped around her white and bloody gown. Her hair was a mess and skin deathly pale. Those were all details that made the main thing that much worse: her dead eyes.  Those eyes stared directly at me as I scanned over her dead body. She was exactly as she was the day I saw her on the floor. Only now, I was inches from her face.  She smelt of decay and blood, her hair a rusty color and eyes glazed over.

I felt myself release a failing gasp as I sat there, shaking. I felt my arms reacting.  I wasn’t sure how or why, but I managed to stroke back her hair that was stuck to her forehead. Of what looked like her forehead.

“Oh—” my heaving stomach cut my voice off.  I swung my head in the other direction when my mouth started to water in warning. My body bent forward with me kneeling, resting my palms in the dirt.

I felt him behind me, leaning over and wrapping his hands around my hair.  He held it back and away, seeing what I was about to do.  With his other hand, he rubbed my back soothingly. “It’s okay. Let it go. You can vomit,” he whispered.

Releasing from my mouth were the burn of acid and a hot stench. I threw-up hard, emptying my stomach of the few berries in me. I gave a sickly gag as my eyes began to burn as well. Through my sobs came more heaving until nothing more came up from my stomach.

I turned my head just enough to see if what I saw was real.  It sure looked like it.  My mom’s body was laying there. How was this possible and why to me? Why was I being tortured this way?  It would have been easier to have been beaten every day if that meant a good life in the end.

My tears and vomit together created a burning sensation that made me feel worse.  My inside writhed in that awful heat and fire as I cried out in pain, trying my best to let it distract my emotions.

I looked back once more at my mother.  It did me in.  “Mom,” I whimpered out.

After that, I collapsed.  I felt not only the burn of acid in me but now on my chest and face.  I was laying in my own vomit, but I couldn’t care.  I was being swallowed under. Mr. Rush didn’t have the chance to catch me before I collapsed and started blacking out. Faintly, I could hear him begging me to wake up.  I couldn’t, and I let myself go under.

Chapter 25

I faintly felt a tickle of something that made a chill run over my body. I thought I reacted to it, but I stayed in my unconscious state.  I was starting to hear and feel things again so I wasn’t exactly out of it.  I just had no say in what my eyes or mouth did yet.

I felt my body sink down, moving into the water more until all that was left above was my head and chest. I was being held up by something, and I wasn’t sure what. I heard the splashing of the waterfall and knew I must be in the lake. How? I passed out in my own vomit; that I can at least remember. Everything else though was blurry.

I wanted to go back under. I did not want to deal with the pain I knew I would have to face when I remember.  Something kept me present, though. The path of a wet cloth traveled up and along my face before I heard it being soaked in the water.  A moment later, it was back, soothingly stroking around my cheeks and mouth. 

I started getting feeling back in my eyes and mouth as I experienced the gentle motion of cloth. The problem was that I was getting a lot more back with it like a burning sensation of acid and the feeling of my heart hurting.

I opened my eyes, and they connected to Mr. Rush’s deep irises. He was close to me, propping me up against him as he held me in his arms.  My cheek was resting against the front of his shoulder.  I was floating in the water in his arms and after establishing that, I felt more. 

One of his strong arms were under me, holding my outside thigh to him.  The other was wrapped around my neck and shoulders.  Which gave him enough room to be able to hold an article of clothing with that hand.  The water was halfway up his chest, but he held me so my whole body was folded around the liquid, all except for my head and chest. All except for the areas that were covered in my own vomit. Oh god.

He watched my expression as he slowly continued to wipe away the acid from my face, mouth, and chin with the newly made rag. He didn’t in any way look disgusted. More so upset and worried. I sagged back in his arms and stared up at him, slightly dazed.  He kept stroking away the mess over me, but his eyes were trained on mine most of the time.

His hand went down to my chest where he wiped away what he could of the vomit on the shirt. Watching his face, I saw a tint of red in his cheeks and knew why when he shifted.  Dropping the rag for a moment and unwrapping the arm from around my shoulders, he moved his other arm to take its place.  Because now with that free arm, he did what he was forced to do. 

Saying nothing, his hand slid under the water to rest on my stomach. He gripped the hem of the bottom of the shirt lightly, moving it up to ease it over my head. If my heart wasn’t beating fast before, it was now.

The shirt now out of the picture, Mr. Rush took the rag back into his free hand.  He moved it up my chest in slow circles, making the smell and feel of vomit disappear.  The mess I made went into the water and floated out down the creek.

His arms tightened around me more, probably to have better control of what he was doing.  My mind was in shock because I couldn’t remember what happened. That didn’t mean my body wasn’t affected by his touch. I closed my eyes, sinking deeper into his warm skin.  He was so gentle and careful with his movements, it didn’t bother me when he wiped away some of it over my breasts and bra.

My mind was numb because I couldn’t recall what happened.  It was also numb in a different way too.  All my walls were down.  I wasn’t trying to forget about him, force myself to stay away, or anything like that.  It was blank for me to soak anything in.  And as I did, I couldn’t block out my feelings.  His eyes were powerful and beautiful in mine.  Open and honest as well.  He was very worried, and it was such a sweet sight, one that I felt lucky to see. 

Mr. Rush was a beautiful human being.  All the issues I had with him made me that much more curious and confused.  The roles were flipped.  He knew everything about me, and I was the one who was now enticed to try and understand.  I knew he didn’t want to hurt me and never tried to intentionally do so.  It made me not care about anything at that moment. I could care less if he heard me confess my feelings for him; I was that open and vulnerable that moment.  It was too much to keep in check by this point.

I watched his eyes caress me, mostly my face. He moved the rag over my chest and neck, wiping away the vomit there too.  I felt a moan slip from me as he moved the rag down the dip of my breasts.  Dragging out the disgusting vomit there, he splashed some water over my chest to help.  He inched the wet material just barely under my bra, making sure it all was gone by the time he rinsed the rag again.  With all he was willing to do (or clean), it made my heart race.  He was so sweet and nice, not once showing any sign of disgust.  In fact, I saw something in his eyes.  It was a fire that made me want to smile. 

Then, he lowered his arms, making me sink further into the water. Now, the only thing that wasn’t underwater was my face.  My head, hair, and chest were consumed in the cool liquid. He slid one hand under my back to keep me up and against him.  The other found my head under the water. He ran his fingers through the strands and did his best to get the vomit out of my hair. Massaging my head and staring into my eyes… he made my heart jump more.  He was bent over me since I was further down in the water, his face hovering over mine closely. I kept my mouth closed, knowing how bad things could get in a hurry if he got a sniff of my burnt breath.

I still couldn’t speak or think straight. The only thing zipping in my head was that I wanted him.  When I tried to push past that and figure out what happened, nothing came to me.  He wasn’t freaking out so everything must be fine, right?

He stopped his movement and searched my eyes. “Can you handle rinsing your mouth out?” he asked in a gentle voice.

Could I answer? I could moan and move my eyes; a nod should work
. With a nod, he shifted me up and arranged my arms so they hung around his neck for support.  His face was an inch from mine and my awful breath.  It made me want to clean my mouth out even more.  

I held onto him with both hands around his neck as I twisted, leaning down sideways closer to the water. I opened my mouth, using him as my lifeboat, and pulled water in. Swishing it around in my mouth before spitting out dormant puke, I did that a few more times.  Still feeling some there, I resorted to removing a hand from him and using my finger as a toothbrush.

Hanging on him still, I rubbed off the remaining vomit as best as I could.  I finally took one more mouth full in, forcing myself to swallow.  The water with a tinge of hot vomit burned as it slid down my throat.  God, I’m glad that’s done.

Raising my head, I watched as the orange tinted water flowed towards where the start of the creek was.  Mr. Rush still held me firmly.  We said nothing and I started to panic. Why had I thrown up in the first place? Why was he so nice to me? Why did he look worried this whole time? My mouth hung open in need of air, but I clamped it shut when he made me turn to face him.

He was so close to me, and I was still in that weird daze. I didn’t have an issue with what I did when I eyed a strand of his hair that hung down in front of his eyes. I raised a hand and guided it back with my finger, hooking it behind his ear.  I studied his troubled face.

“Are you in shock?” he asked, eyeing my strange gesture towards his hair.

“I think so,” I was able to get out. I couldn’t continue, though, not when reality became clearer. Everything that was happening around me snapped into place.  Everything that happened before this did too.

I found a body… and it was my mother’s body.  That was not possible! I knew it wasn’t possible, I knew that, but that’s what I was recalling.  I knew where my mom’s body was.  It was back home and in Craftridge Cemetery.  Yet… I saw her! 

My eyes on his soon became blurry with tears.  I let in a jagged breath as they spilled over before I could even try to hold it in.  This was no dream anymore; I saw her! 
She was here, my loving, sweet mom! I saw her
was all I could think.  The tears started cascading down my cheeks as I began to shake.

His arms gripped me harder to him when I opened my mouth to speak. “What happened? I… You… saw that… didn’t you? That body,” I struggled.

He looked at me pleadingly. “Yes. I saw the body,” he answered. “I don’t understand. What was that? You just… flipped out then passed out.”

I gaped at him. “Excuse me?” I needed to remind myself not to get upset considering he didn’t know what my mother looked like. Meaning, he thought this was just some random body.

“Before with the flight attendant, you didn’t react that way. Nothing like that actually. It’s like this completely took you over.”

I was breathing shallow breaths, and my tears were running cold. I wasn’t actually positive I was crying until he cupped my cheek, rubbing a thumb over the tears while he balanced me.  “Yeah. That was my mom’s body.”

He stared at me, his thumb going still on my cheek.  His face went blank of any emotions and his body stiffened. “No, it wasn’t,” he said slowly after a moment.

I stared at him, shaking harder. “It was. How could you know? You never knew what my mom looked like.”

“I know it isn’t her.”

A pressure squeezed around my chest, and I felt myself go cold. How were we even having this conversation? Was I insane? Was he? I watched his face, looking for a sign that he was lying.  But why would he and what sounded more realistic?  Finding my mom here sure wasn’t realistic.

He groaned and looked uncomfortable, eyeing the distance separating us. Then, he shifted and moved closer to shore with me.  Mr. Rush took my arms and returned them to my side, holding one of my trembling hands.  He towed me in and up the bank.

Folding himself into the grass, he pulled me down with him by a tree. He rested against the trunk, stretching his legs out in front of him. I followed his movements, sitting next to him.  Resting his right cheek against the rough bark, focusing on my face, he spoke. “Janice, that wasn’t your mom. That was the flight attendant.”

My reaction was instant.  I knew whatever he had to say would be bad, and it was.  Because I knew what I was saying sounded crazy. “No! Just… no.  I saw her! I saw that same body when I saw her dead before. She looked exactly the same when I first saw her dead.”

He looked at me sadly and desperately. “Then you… were imagining it. You must have. That wasn’t your mother.” He slid his hand over the grass on the other side of him.  He grabbed something that looked like a piece of paper.  “You remember the flight attendant, right?” he asked, giving me the damp and worn paper.  I saw that it was a photo, the same one we found in the flight attendant’s pocket when we first discovered her body. The little boy in the bent and smeared photo made my heart freeze.  Before giving her the best burial we could, we slipped this photo in the pocket of her uniform where we found it.

So how was it in my shaky hands now?  How did this photo get here? How did it leave her pocket?

“This was in her pocket, remember?” I nodded to his words in a daze as he continued. “That must mean that it was her body you tripped over earlier,” he said, trying to convince me.

“Wait.  After I had passed out, you found that photo on the body?”

“Yes. That is how I know it’s the flight attendant. The body was…” He paused and cringed slightly.  Running a shaky hand through his hair, he continued. “Well, the picture was all that could be used to identify her. Even the clothes I couldn’t….”  The man trailed off and shook his head.  The disturbed look on his face convinced me that he was telling the truth.

“You’re sure?” I asked, a note of pleading.  I didn’t want to believe him.  I didn’t want to be crazy.  “You’re positive that the body was that of the flight attendant?”

“It must be. The picture was there and so was what was left of the clothes. There were no distinct features,” he cringed. “No eyes or a solid outfit. Plus, there wouldn’t be any of that if this is someone that died months ago like your mom.”

I was lost in my mind, trying to understand what I saw earlier.  Why had I seen her?  Mr. Rush was right, and I knew it before he even said it.  If my mom were here – somehow or someway – then her body wouldn’t look like it did to my eyes.  Her body would have appeared decomposed. I knew what I saw; it was vividly set in my mind.  But… he was right, and I knew it deep down.  She wasn’t here.  To feel at least a little better and sure though, I wanted to see it.

“Take me to it.  I know what you said, and I do believe you.  There is no other way.  I still want to see for myself, though.”

“You won’t be able to distinguish her body unless you really try.”

I stood up with purpose and stared down at him. “As long as I know that it’s not my mom, I’ll deal with it. I need validation that I’m losing my mind.”

I’ve fought so hard to stay strong through everything.  My mom dying unsettled me to no end and still did.  Now, it was consuming me.  Dad and Alex were crazy.  Maybe it was my turn.  I wanted to find out for sure, and it meant going back and checking the body.

With my mind set, we walked the few minutes it took to find it.  All the while, I wasn’t able to process it or even consider the outcome.  I just knew I had to see, which I did when he stopped guiding me through the woods.