It Had to Be Him (19 page)

“She’s sneaky, like you. Haley would watch movies twenty-four seven if I let her. She’s only allowed a few hours a week.”

“Okay. Now back to us?”

“It’s complicated, Josh.”

“I’m honestly sorry, Meg. For everything. Mostly for not being there for you and Haley. You’re a great mom, but Haley needs a father too. And I plan to be a good one.”

“Kids grow up with one parent all the time and turn out just fine. I did.” She stared into his eyes. “Saying you’re sorry doesn’t make the pain magically disappear and make everything all better. How can I be sure you won’t hurt us again?”

He cringed. “I know trust doesn’t come easily for you. I didn’t help by leaving like that. You and Haley are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I swear I’ll never leave you guys again.”

She closed her eyes. The sadness in his gaze pierced her heart. She hated how much she missed his touch, missed sharing simple meals, and just . . . being with him. She’d never had such an easy relationship with anyone else. But she couldn’t bear it if he left again. Couldn’t bear it if he hurt Haley. “So I should just take you at your word, Josh? Just hand over my and Haley’s hearts so you can crush them again?”

He sighed. “You need more time for me to prove to you I’m sticking. And that’s fine. I can be as patient as necessary. But when I pushed you away, I never stopped loving you, Meg.” He tucked his face next to hers and laid a soft kiss on her cheek. “It was nice tonight. Being with you and Haley. Like the family in Haley’s picture.”

The lonely pain in his words made her eyes sting with tears. How could a man with so few friends and who grew up without parents be so sweet? He should be bitter and cold.

When they’d broken up, he kept telling her it was him, and not her. He wasn’t good enough for her. He didn’t know how to be a parent or be part of a family. She should find someone who could be a good husband to her because he was afraid he couldn’t and she deserved the best. Those all sounded like standard breakup lines to her at the time. Coward’s words.

Now, she wanted to believe he’d meant them.

She ached to sleep with him, to feel that connection to him like she’d never felt with any other man, but for the moment she’d be content to lie quietly under him, happy to feel his heart beat slowly against her indecisive one.

She ran her hand through his soft hair and whispered, “You’ll be the first to know when the verdict finally comes in.”

The front door opened and a deep voice called out, “Anyone home?”

Haley let out a yelp. “Hi, Uncle Ryan!”

“Dammit.” Meg poked Josh in the ribs to make him move. “Ryan is being a big . . . brother again.”

Josh slowly rolled off the bed and scooped her up with him, plopping her onto her feet. “What does that mean?”

“I’ll tell you later. Let’s go before he barges in here with his gun drawn.”

When they hit the living room, Meg grabbed Ryan’s arm and yanked him straight out the front door with her. Hands on hips, she said, “Cut. It. Out! He’s Haley’s father, for God’s sake!”

“What? It’s my day off tomorrow. I was just going to offer to help you around here.” Ryan tucked his hands into his jeans pockets and at least had the decency to look guilty.

Meg glanced over her shoulder. Josh stood just inside the door, ready to come to her rescue if necessary. She turned back to Ryan and lowered her voice. “Let me guess. You want to help me, then when I’m not looking, go through all of Josh’s things for clues, right?”

“Yep.” He smiled. “But I’ll help with the dock too.”

“I’m not letting you search his room. And as much as I could use a hand, Dad said you guys couldn’t help me. You don’t need him mad at you too.”

“Dad said we couldn’t loan you money. I’ll be here at eight.” His fist landed a light tap to her shoulder. “Just looking out for you, Meggy.”

His quiet show of support made her anger dissipate by the time he started his truck and backed out of the drive. Sometimes her brothers and sister could get on her last nerve, but at least she had family who loved her.

Unlike Josh. Who had no one.

The next morning, hammer in her hand, Meg wiped the sweat from her brow with her arm as she and Ryan worked on her new dock. Reaching inside the pouch at her waist, she grabbed another nail and then pounded it into the decking. The ache in her back and the growl of her stomach made Meg tug the phone from her pocket to check the time. Almost noon. They’d made some serious progress, so she owed her brother a good lunch. She could probably pull something together inside, but it’d be so much easier to pick something up from Aunt Gloria’s diner. “I’ll go get us some subs. Be right back.”

Ryan nodded and went back to hammering. She jogged into the house to get her car keys and spotted the little note Josh had left for her that morning. “Coffee’s on and lots of healthy stuff for snacks in the fridge. Quit scowling at the healthy part and have a nice day.” Reading it again made her smile. He did know her better than she’d thought.

That he had fresh coffee waiting for her and Ryan when he didn’t even drink it was pretty great too. Maybe she’d pick up a sandwich for Josh while she was at it and drop it by the shop on her way back.

After she’d circled to the other side of the lake and checked on Haley and Grandma, who were eating their lunch too, she walked into the blessedly cool diner.

Her father sat at the counter. If she hadn’t been starving to death, she might have turned right around to avoid him, but hunger won out. She sat on the stool next to him. “Hey, Dad. How are you feeling? Sue Ann said you had another headache the other night?”

“It was nothin’.” Her father took a bite of his sandwich. Probably so he wouldn’t have to talk.

Fine by her.

Thankfully Gloria strolled over and sent her a warm smile. “How are you today, sweetheart?” She slid a cold Dr Pepper in front of Meg.

“Starving! Can I get two meatball subs with fries, a turkey-and-avocado sandwich with mustard, no mayo, and a fruit cup all to go?” She took a long drink of her soda and sighed. “Thanks. That hit the spot.”

“You’re welcome.” Gloria tucked a pencil into her beehive. “Funny. A turkey sandwich with a fruit cup on the side is just what Zeke’s new employee ordered for lunch yesterday.” She winked and walked away to place the order.

Her dad grunted and took another bite of his pot roast sandwich.

When she reached out to take another drink, her father snatched her arm to stop her. “Where did you get that ring?”

She’d forgotten she still had it on. “I found it in the attic. It was Mom’s.”

“I’m aware of that.” He swung around to face her. “I thought all of that had been destroyed. What else did you find?”

His anger made no sense. But then, the man never made any sense to her. “Just stuff. Like her diploma, report cards, things like that. Why?”

His jaw clenched. “Nothing else?”

There were those files at the bottom. Maybe she’d just keep that little fact to herself. “Just the usual. Why would you want to destroy all of Mom’s things?”

He shook his head and then turned back to his sandwich. “Heard you signed on a loan yesterday.”

Dead end, as always, when it came to discussing her mother. “Yeah. I can get started on the big stuff now.”

Dad just nodded as he chewed.

Luckily, Gloria reappeared with three white bags. “Here you go. On the house until you get your lodge done. In return, you and I are going to work out an arrangement for feeding your new guests here sometimes.” Gloria sent Dad a smug, in-your-face grin.

Meg snatched up the bags before her dad could protest and leaned over the counter to give her aunt a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks. You’re awesome!” Meg dashed for the door, and then hopped into her nice new car.

God, she loved Aunt Gloria.

Next, she pulled up in front of Zeke’s shop. What was Amber’s Mercedes doing parked out front? Maybe visiting her uncle. But Josh mentioned Zeke was going to be gone most of the day getting parts.

With a sick, familiar feeling from their high school days brewing, Meg hopped out of her car, forgetting all about Josh’s lunch.

As she passed through the doors, she pulled up short. Amber had her hand on Josh’s chest, smiling up at him.

Haley wasn’t with her this time and she’d had about all she was going to take from that man-stealer. Just as she was about to go all crazy woman on Amber, Josh took a step back and raised his palms. “Nothing is going to happen between you and me, Amber. Ever.”

Amber smiled slyly. “You’re a man. You’ll give in eventually. See you around.” Then she turned and spotted Meg.

Plastering on a smug grin, she said, “Whoops.”

Josh turned and cringed. “This isn’t what you’re thinking, Meg.”

“I was just thinking I kinda liked the way you shut Amber down.” With adrenaline still pumping hot through her veins, she closed the distance between her and Josh. She grabbed his face and kissed him. Hard. Amber could just eat her heart out.

When Josh wound his big arms around her and kissed her back with equal intensity, Meg got pulled so deeply under his spell, she almost forgot Amber was there. God, she really missed kissing Josh.

After they finally came up for air, she turned to Amber. “Run along and
maybe
I won’t tell Randy about this.”

“Nothing to tell. Besides, it’d be my word against yours. And we all know what your word is worth in this town, Meg. Have a nice day, Josh.” She added a little extra hip action as she strolled out the door.

After she was gone, Meg said, “Hi. I brought you some lunch.”

“Really?” He beamed a big smile that made her knees go a little weak. Well, okay. A lot weak. That he had on a tight T-shirt that highlighted his big muscles, worn but nicely fitting jeans, and work boots didn’t help.

Yum.

She took his hand, tugged him to her car, and grabbed a to-go bag.

“Thank you.” He frowned as he read the writing on the outside. “Meatball sub and fries? I guess you’re still mad at me, then?”

She snatched the bag back and swapped it out for the other. “Those are for me and Ryan. We’re doing hard labor today, so we earned them. This boring one is for you and your healthy arteries.”

Josh peered into the sack and then slapped a hand over his heart. “You got me a fruit cup on the side? Does this mean you love me again?”

“It means thanks for the coffee this morning. Gotta go.”

As she slid behind her steering wheel, he called out, “I don’t know. Nothing says love like a fruit cup, Meg.”

She sent him an exaggerated eye-roll, but smiled all the way back to the house.

As she and Ryan devoured their subs in silence at the kitchen table, Meg broke it by saying, “I ran into Dad at the diner.”

Ryan raised a brow in a “go on” kind of way as he chewed.

“He noticed my ring.” She held up her hand. “It was Mom’s. When I told him I found it in the attic, he got all bent out of shape. I’ve been meaning to tell you guys about the box of her things I found.”

“What kind of things?”

“You sound just like Dad. Normal high school things. Except for a couple of files I haven’t looked at yet.”

“Files?” Ryan’s sub stopped halfway to his lips. “What kind of files?”

“Legal-size official ones. They’re up in the attic. I can go get them after we finish if you’d like.”

Ryan dropped his half-eaten sub and started for the attic. Still starving and reluctant to put her sandwich down, she sighed and followed him up the stairs. “What’s going on, Ry?”

“Probably nothing. Where are they?”

She pointed out the box. He sat down and tore the lid off, then dug the files out. Slapping the first one open, his face hardened like granite. He scanned the second one and said, “Dammit. He promised me no one would ever find these.”

“Who promised you?” She sat beside him and reached for the file, but he held it out of reach.

“Uncle Ray. You don’t want to see these, Meg. Nothing good can come of it.”

That made her want to see what was in there even more. Especially because Uncle Ray was the former sheriff. Waggling her
fingers at Ryan, she said, “Technically, this is my house. Everything in it belongs to me, and you know it, lawman. Hand it over.”

Ryan took out his phone and hit a button. After a few seconds, he said, “Mom’s missing files were in Meg’s attic. You need to be here. Tell Ben too.” He hung up and slid the phone back into his pocket.

What the heck? “If you’re trying to freak me out, it’s working. What’s going on, Ryan? How bad can it be?”

“Bad. Can we wait for Casey, please?”

“No! Tell me.”

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “Because no one would ever talk about it, as soon as Uncle Ray retired and I became the sheriff, I looked into Mom’s car accident.”

“And? For once would you please just string a few sentences together and spare me the misery of extracting them from you?”

“Uncle Ray and the others covered up the details of the accident because Mom wasn’t alone that day her car slid off the road. You were in the car too, along with another person. You were the only one who survived.”

“Oh. So I was in a car wreck with Mom when she died? Why would that be such a big secret?”