Had he done the right thing with Lili?
“But about Lili, Dad?”
He shot Erika a sharp look. Nah. She hadn’t read his mind. She was going back to their earlier discussion. He pulled into a parking space three doors down from the pizza place.
“Let’s talk about Lili later, okay?” When he didn’t feel raw emotions that were better explored on his own.
Climbing out, he took Erika’s hand in his. Soon enough she’d be too old to take his hand. A group of teenagers hung out at the front of the pizza parlor, one of them a blond beauty like Erika. He didn’t want his daughter to be a teenager, not yet. He wasn’t ready.
He pushed through the door, the scent of sausage and spices assaulting him, the interior dim and noisy with voices multiplied by a high ceiling. Pizza boxes stacked three deep warmed under heat lamps that dried them out. Tanner tacked himself on to the end of the four-person line, fishing out the coupon and two twenties. “What do you want, sweetheart?”
“What kind of pizza do you think Lili likes?”
He crumpled the coupon and cash in his hand, fisted harder than he meant to, and a sharp pain ran up his arm then down into his chest. To his heart.
“I have no idea. But I want the works.” He tugged on Erika’s hand. “How about you?”
The door opened with a whoosh and the scent of flowers and summer rain washed over him. Goose bumps raised the hair on his arms. His blood rushed in his ears, and the two new voices seemed amplified and singled out.
“I don’t want anchovies.”
“How about on half of it?” The voice was a sweet, musical sound he’d heard in his dreams for a week now. He’d hear it for the rest of his life.
“The anchovy taste leaps over to the other side by osmosis.”
He and Erika were now third in line, but he didn’t shuffle forward with the rest. He stood rooted to the spot. Lili liked anchovies. She loved to laugh; cotton candy tasted like ambrosia when licked off her fingers and she made love with her soul.
He could lose his mind trying to make sure she was safe. He could lose his heart if he turned and looked at her.
“Dad, it’s Lili,” Erika whispered, excitement threading through her voice as she did a light bounce-in-place.
He swallowed and opened his eyes without quite knowing when he’d closed them. Lili’s hair was unbound, flowing like silk past her shoulders and over her breasts. A blush rosied her cheeks, and her eyes were dark amethyst pools in the dim light.
“Lili.” The name bubbled over with Erika’s excitement.
“What are you doing here?” Lili smiled at Erika, then looked at him.
He rolled the crumpled paper in his hand. “Roscoe didn’t want to cook.”
“Kate thought we should get pizza, too.” Lili glanced at the petite blonde at her side. Gooey eyelashes and black lipstick hadn’t done the woman justice last night. Pretty, with a tiny nose and full lips, she was as different from Lili as deep winter was from early summer. “Kate, this is Erika.”
Erika shook the woman’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Kate smiled at his daughter, then looked him over with slightly narrowed eyes. “I think we’ve met already.”
“I remember.” Even without the black lipstick, she was hard to miss. Next to her, Lili shone like a rainbow.
Lili had a shining soul.
She bit her lip, which she did when she was nervous. “Um, how’s Fluffy, Erika?”
“Oh, he’s great. It’s like now that everything’s solved, he knows it or something, and he’s okay.”
Lili turned to him, and he felt her gaze all the way to his gut. “And Roscoe?” she asked. “It must have hit him hard.”
“He’s fine. We’re all fine.” The word came unbidden to his lips. Everything was always fine. When the hell was the last time that something had been great or stupendous or fantastic? Those were Lili words. How many times was he going to say the word
fine
without thinking how meaningless it was? How could he ever use it again without thinking of Lili?
“Well, I’m glad everybody’s fine.”
The line moved forward. Erika didn’t move with it. “Are
you
fine, Lili?”
Lili smiled, though he detected something sad on the fringes of it. “Oh, yes, I’m fine.”
Tanner couldn’t help himself. “You hate that word.”
“Oh. Well. It’s a fine word in the right place.”
But it wasn’t a Lili word. It wasn’t a Lili sentiment. Did he want to be
fine?
Did he want Erika to spend her life being
fine?
He didn’t know how to teach her any other way.
But Lili could teach her.
“Since we’re all fine, Mr. Rutland, maybe you should move up so none of us loses our place in line here.”
Focusing on Lili, he’d forgotten the woman next to her. Her boss. Tanner sidled closer to the counter, only one person ahead of them now, but he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off Lili.
Silky hair, glossy lips, a slim, willowy body, a scent like flowers and sweetness. Like cotton candy. Lord. He’d aced himself out of ever again licking cotton candy from her fingers. He’d buried that sweet memory on the Boardwalk just as he’d buried all the good memories of Karen.
You’re afraid to love again.
He was afraid to hurt again. He’d kept his relationships short and casual, never delving beneath the surface. Pushing Lili away had never been about protecting Erika. It had been about protecting himself.
Lili scared the heck out of him. The more he wanted her, the more she scared him.
A young woman seated at a table grabbed Lili’s hand. “Oh, my God, aren’t you the lady who talks to animals?”
Lili smiled. “Yes, I am.” Then she looked at Tanner, a flash of defiance in her eyes.
“And you found that body and caught old Hiram Battle.”
“That’s right,” Lili said, straightening her shoulders. “You can read all about it in the newspaper tomorrow.” She took credit triumphantly. Or maybe as a slap in his face.
He had to admit he deserved it. His lack of support had hurt her in any number of ways. He’d walked out on her when she needed him. He’d denied her access to his daughter and as much as said their lovemaking was nothing more than…casual sex.
It was anything but. Roscoe was right. He was afraid to love again. He was afraid to hurt, to risk himself, and he’d lost so many good things in the process. He
had
stifled Karen. He’d certainly stifled his daughter.
And he might very well have lost Lili. He would take one good thing with Lili over all the bad that might happen.
“Sir, can I take your order?” the clerk called to him.
He thought for only a second, then he pointed at Kate. “Take this lady’s order first.”
Bending down, he put his hands on Erika’s arms. “Sweetheart, I have to talk to Lili. Will you wait on that bench over there for me? I’ll only be a minute.”
“I’m twelve, Dad. If you give me the money, I can actually pay for the pizza while you’re gone.”
He kissed her on the cheek, then plopped the two rumpled twenties and coupon in her hand. Throwing her arms around his neck, she whispered in his ear, “If you want to ask her to marry you, it’s okay with me. Grandpa will like it, too.”
“Thanks, sweetie.” The idea didn’t twist his insides the way it would have even an hour ago.
Grabbing Lili’s hand, he pulled her through the front door of the restaurant and didn’t give a damn that everyone stared.
He stopped on the front sidewalk. “I was wrong.”
Lili lifted her chin boldly. “About what?”
“Erika. She needs you. I would like your help with her.”
Lili looked down at the front of his shirt. “Oh. Sure. I’ll do anything for her.” Then she raised her eyes to his. “Is that all you were wrong about?”
Kate slammed through the door. “Hey. What are you doing?”
She might be Lili’s boss, but being boss was secondary. Being Lili’s friend was first, and she obviously didn’t like Tanner’s abrupt exodus with Lili in tow.
“Lili and I,” he said, “need to talk.”
“It’s okay.” Lili flapped a hand dismissively, only he wasn’t sure whether it was directed at Kate or at him. “Tanner wants my help with something.”
“No,” he denied, “that’s not all I want from you.” He took her chin in his hand and made her look at him. “I love you.”
They both stared at him. So did the six teenagers hanging by the pizza parlor’s front window and the couple getting out of their car. And why wasn’t Erika inside?
“Go ahead, Dad,” she mouthed.
He stepped back. “I love you,” he said again, in case Lili hadn’t understood the first time. “I was a complete as —” he glanced at Erika “— idiot tonight. No, check that, I’ve been an idiot since the day I met you. If I’d supported you from the beginning, you never would have ended up in the field alone this afternoon. Everything would have been different. So the person I have to blame is myself. If Einstein hadn’t told me where you were, I’d have lost you, so I have her to thank for that.”
Erika stepped to Kate’s side, and oddly, the woman put her arm around his daughter’s shoulder, then leaned down to whisper something. Erika smiled.
Lili closed the step he’d put between them. “You really believe Einstein told you where I was?”
“I don’t believe, I
know.
She bit me to get the point across. She’s the smartest cat I know. Smarter than Fluffy.”
“Da-ad.”
“It’s true, sweetheart.” Then he turned back to Lili. “And Einstein’s a lot smarter than me. She’s intelligent.”
Lili gaped at him. “You called her ‘she’instead of ‘it.’”
“She’s not an ‘it.’”
“Really?” Her whole body seemed to strain closer to him though she didn’t take another step.
“Really.”
“And you love me?”
“Yeah. I love you.”
“You won’t change your mind next time Fluffy talks to me?”
“No.”
“Or a dog or a goldfish?”
“You talk to goldfish, too?”
“I haven’t tried, but I’m sure I can.”
He wanted to kiss her, God, how he wanted to kiss her. “I won’t change my mind even if you talk to an iguana.”
She tipped her head. “I’ve never tried.” She glanced at Kate, then tipped her nose. “But I
will.
I’m opening my own animal-therapy business. What do you think about that?”
“I think it sounds great.”
Her eyes widened. “You do?”
“You have a right to do whatever you want to do with your life.” He looked at Erika to make sure she knew he was saying it to both of them. “Whatever path you chose, you have my support.”
Lili knocked lightly on his forehead. “Have you been taken over by an alien?”
“Lili.” He touched her cheek with one finger, but he felt her warmth all the way to his heart. “Do you love me?”
“I’m pretty sure I do, Tanner. Don’t ask me why, because you’ve ordered me around, told me what to do, what not to do —”
He put his hand over her mouth. “
Pretty
sure?”
She licked his palm. Fire streaked down to his belly.
“Erika, why don’t we finish ordering our pizzas?” Kate herded her toward the front door. “Otherwise we’re never going to eat tonight.”
Erika called over her shoulder, “Say yes, okay, Lili?” Then they were inside.
That left six teenagers and the couple as witnesses. He pulled Lili around the corner out of sight of the gawkers and his daughter if she decided to peek out the front door again.
“When I was a kid, I wanted to be a great anthropologist like Louis B. Leakey and find the missing link.”
She raised one eyebrow.
He put his forehead to hers. “Well, I’ve found my missing link. You.”
“Oh, Tanner. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
“Kiss me,” he whispered.
And Lili did, with her whole heart and soul. The way she did everything.
He could barely breathe. Touching his nose to hers, he whispered, “I love you. I want you to teach me to enjoy every moment of life the way you do. To appreciate a simple sunset.”
“Sunsets are never simple,” she murmured. “They’re magic.”
“That’s what I mean. I want to see things the way you do.”
She cupped his cheeks in her hands and pushed him back a few inches. “Tanner. Wait. I don’t think you know what you’re getting into.” Then she dropped her voice and whispered, “I’m not normal.”
“I know. You’re special. You talk to animals. My father thinks you’re perfect, and my daughter told me it was okay if I asked you to marry me.”
“Marry you?” Her lilac eyes deepened to violet.
“Yes. I promise not to order you around or tell you what to do or what not to do. I promise to compromise.”
Her lashes fluttered wide. “You do?”
“Yes, Lili, I do. Do you?”
She tipped her head, first one way, then the other. “I think it’s better if I keep you guessing about that, don’t you?”
He sighed. “Maybe.” Then he smiled. “Yeah. Keep me guessing. I’m ready for some surprises in my life. Now is the answer yes or no?”
She threw her arms around him and took his mouth. “The answer is yes,” she whispered, then opened her lips to his.
Oh yeah. Lili’s kiss was magic.
E
RIKA BARRELED THROUGH
the back door like a cyclone, threw herself into Roscoe’s arms and tilted her head back. “Lili was downtown at the pizza parlor, and Dad took her out to give her this big talk.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “He said he loved her. And he kissed her, Grandpa.”
Roscoe tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling. “Praise be, your dad saw the light.”
“I think they’re going to get married. Grandpa, it worked. I wished for a mom, and now I’m going to get one. Is that magic or what?”
Roscoe rubbed the top of her head, and his heart turned over in his chest. Bad things happened, but you always had to find the silver lining in them. It was there if you looked hard enough. “It’s magic all right, honey. I told you Lili was magic.”
A
S USUAL FOR A
S
ATURDAY
morning, the Stain was hopping.
Manny grabbed Lili’s hand and practically pulled her over to the counter. “Honey bunch, I didn’t see you. I’d never make our star wait in line.” Then he boomed over his shoulder, “Sweetie pie, get Lili her usual white, would ya?”
“Sweetie pie” smiled, then gave them her rear-view dolphin tattoo and pumped the espresso beans.
Manny grabbed a Danish in a wrapper and pushed it across the counter. “So, what’s the news from the animal kingdom?”
Thank goodness they were back to their usual chatter. The first three mornings after Hiram Battle had been arrested, Lili had had to answer umpteen million questions from everybody, and Manny had been the nosiest. Thank God on the fourth day things had settled down.
Lili leaned in. “I hate to tell you this, Manny, but I met a gopher. He said he was moving his whole family to your backyard. So, Manny, you need Pug. Pug’ll sit for hours waiting for one of them to pop his head out, then bam.”
“I’m shocked. I’d think you’d hate for those gophers to be caught by a cat. It’s an animal, even if it is a gopher.”
Lili sighed and shook her head sadly. “It’s in the natural order of things. Like Bigfoot snatching up a human wandering alone out in the woods.”
He stroked a finger down his crooked nose. “Are you sure about this gopher and his family coming to my backyard?”
She gave him a four-fingered salute. “Would I lie?”
Manny shot her a look, then he smiled. He had the cutest little chip on his front tooth. “You win. Bring me the cat.”
She almost leaped over the counter to hug him. “Oh, thank you, thank you.” The sheriff was taking Bash, and now Pug had a home! “If Pug gives you any problems, call me and I’ll talk him right out of it. And if you have any friends with animal problems, here’s my card.” She pulled one out of her skirt pocket and slid it across the counter. Tanner had made them up for her with his super-duper color printer. “I’ve got the most reasonable rates,” she added, “and I can solve
Anything.”
Capitalized and italicized. Of course, she would do pro bono work, too, for people in need but strapped for cash.
Manny picked up the card, tipping his head back to read. “It’s just a phone number and your first name.”
“I know. I didn’t want to spend money on business cards until Kate comes up with the perfect title. I don’t have my business license yet, either. But I will.”
Manny slapped the card into his front pocket. “You got it, honey bunch. I’ll recommend you to all my best buds.”
“You’re a pal, Manny.”
Then he slid her mocha over, took her cash and counted out her change. “You do snakes?”
“We’ll never know unless I try.” She beamed at him as she gathered her mocha and Danish. She
would
try anything. “See ya.” She turned and a voice boomed almost as loud as Manny’s.
“Lili!” Erika bounced on her chair. Really, how
did
Erika get that much volume out of such a small body?
“How ya doing?” Lili set her cup on the table and tugged one of Erika’s braids. The girl slipped a hand into hers. “I didn’t see you guys here.” Roscoe, Erika, Chester and Linwood sat in the corner, right beside one of Manny’s huge ficus trees.
“We could have given you a ride down to work,” Roscoe said.
“Thanks, but then I’d have to find a ride home.”
Roscoe waggled an eyebrow. “Tanner would come down to get you.”
Tanner liked picking her up at work. Especially if it was past closing time and everyone else had gone home. She hadn’t moved to the Rutland house — that wouldn’t happen until after they got married next month — but Roscoe insisted on feeding her dinner, Erika insisted on playing games in the evening and Tanner insisted on “walking her home” every night. It was amazing how the “walk” took so darn long.
Oh, my God, she loved this family.
“I can ride. Besides, Tanner wanted to get a bunch of yard work done today so I couldn’t bear to pull him away from that.” She grinned. “Weren’t you two supposed to be helping him?”
“Why do you think we’re down here?” Roscoe actually cackled like an old crow, or maybe it was like the Rascally Roscoe that Wanetta had called him. It was so good to hear and hopefully meant he was on the mend. She hoped the same for Linwood and Chester.
“How’s Cy doing, Linwood?” Lili had taken Cyclops over to Linwood’s house on Thursday.
“Oh, he’s fine, fine.” Linwood nodded.
Lili crooked her neck and narrowed her eyes.
“Fine?”
“Astounding.”
She smiled. “That’s better.”
“In the movie we made together, Deanna Durbin had the exact same spotted coat that Rita has,” Chester said. He’d gotten Rita on Thursday, too.
“That’s why I thought she’d be the perfect cat for you.” Lili squeezed his shoulder.
The two old men had needed something. Roscoe did, too. Hiram had dealt the group a tremendous blow. “You know, I was dropping Ghost off with Buddy Welch the other day, and he told me the most fascinating thing. Did you know he learned to play pinochle when he was in the air force?”
Linwood stuck his neck out. “That geezer plays pinochle?”
“He does.”
“He’d have to be Roscoe’s partner,” Chester muttered. “Linwood and I, we read each other like this —” he twined his fingers “— and I’m too old to change my habits.”
“You can’t read me worth cr —” Linwood eyed Erika “— worth doodoo in a bucket.”
“Can, too.”
Lili smiled. They were getting the idea. “What do you think, Roscoe?”
Roscoe scratched his head. “Well, he did save your life.”
Tanner saved her life. He’d saved her from a lot more, too. Why, as Kate had said, she would have woken up on her fortieth birthday, childless, unwed and lonely…but now she had Erika and Roscoe. Chester and Linwood. Kate. And Tanner. “I think you should give Buddy a shot.” She wrinkled her nose. “Just once.”
Then she looked at her watch. “Oh, my God, I’m going to be late. Kate will kill me.” She grabbed her mocha and made sure her Danish was secure. “See you this afternoon.” She popped a kiss on the top of Erika’s head and one on Roscoe’s forehead.
All’s well that ends well.
That sounded like one of Tanner’s adages. Hiram would go to prison for the rest of his life; a young man was dead, his family devastated, the pinochle group forever tainted, and for what? The police investigators had been through everything Avery Able owned, his computer, his dorm room at the college, his car — which Hiram had finally admitted he’d dumped at the end of one of the unused logging roads — and there hadn’t been a single indication that he’d intended to blackmail Hiram, not even a hint that he’d
known
Hiram’s real-life story. His manuscript was coincidence. Or maybe deductive reasoning. Or maybe a game of “what if.” Lili had heard writers did that all the time and came up with whole plots from a single “what if.” Sheriff Gresswell was beginning to think that Hiram Battle had murdered Avery…for nothing.
For a person who believed the world was filled with magic, Lili couldn’t see the magic in that.
She pushed through the Stain’s front door. Maybe it was the peripheral magic. She’d found Tanner and Erika and Roscoe and homes for all the cats except Don Juan and Serenity. Then there was Lady Dreadlock —
“Do you know what I am?”
Speak of the devil. “Oh, my God.”
It wasn’t the devil. It wasn’t even Lady D. It was Patsy. She’d whacked off her dreadlocks, and her short, short hair was a bit like fuzz covering the top of her head. And oh, Lord, she wore only one set of clothing, washed-out jeans and a warm blue flannel shirt. Her tennis half shoes had grown to full-length so even her toes didn’t show anymore.
Traffic rolled by in the street, and people strolled past, but this time Lili wouldn’t have been afraid even if the town were deserted.
Lili hadn’t answered and Patsy tipped her head, waiting.
“I know what you are,” Lili said. “You’re the same as me. And we’re special.”
“Is God watching us?” She’d always intoned, like a prophet or a zealot, her eyes piercing and fanatical. Yet today, her gaze questioned, her head tipped to the side, her eyes focused and almost…rational.
“He’s watching, and He doesn’t think we’re bad. Not at all. We haven’t done anything wrong, and He’s not punishing us.”
Patsy considered, cocked her head left then right like an animal trying to identify a sound or figure out a human’s voice. Nodding, she backed up a step. Lili wasn’t sure Patsy believed her. Lady Dreadlock lurked inside.
Yet Patsy was clearly there, too. Lili wasn’t going to let her go. “My name’s Lili. Maybe we could talk about animals and stuff sometime.” Jeez, that sounded lame. “I mean, you can tell me about you and I can tell you about me and —”
Patsy backed away. “Tell the cat she’s right.”
“Einstein? Right about what?”
“You’re good, not bad.” Then Patsy melted down an alley and disappeared.
Translation: There was hope for Patsy.
Lili would find a way to help her. Hmm, maybe she’d make a good assistant in the animal-therapy business. She truly had an amazing talent, which Lili no longer seemed to mind admitting was perhaps more amazing than her own. Yeah. That would help Patsy totally accept her gift. Just as Lili had accepted hers. Maybe that was the secret to not going crazy or hiding out:
Believe in yourself and the rest of the world believes, too. And if they don’t, screw ’em,
to use Kate’s sentiment.
Maybe Patsy needed a cat of her own. Don Juan. They could have wonderful conversations. Don Juan, as befitting his name, loved the ladies, human as well as feline. He’d be perfect for Patsy. It was a great idea. Now, that left Serenity. She didn’t know who on earth could handle Serenity.
The front door of Flowers By Nature was unlocked. Oops. She was very late this morning. Kate was already at the counter going through the morning mail. Double oops. This was not good.
“I’m sorry I’m late.” Lili tendered her Danish as a peace offering. “Do you want some?”
Kate fanned herself with one of the unopened envelopes. “A Danish a day will harden your arteries.”
“That’s why I thought you could share.” Lili smiled. “Then it’s not a whole Danish a day, only half, so only half my arteries will harden.”
“How do you make something illogical sound logical?”
“It’s just an amazing gift I have.” Lili set her mocha on the counter.
“And I have an amazing gift for you, the absolutely most perfect name.”
“Noooo. What?” Lili bounced in her boots, her skirt swishing against her calves.
“Animal Crackers.”
Her vocal cords seized up, and Lili could do nothing more than gawk.
Kate set the envelope she’d been using as a fan on the counter. “As in you help animals who’ve gone crackers?”
“I get it,” Lili said, awe transfusing her veins. “Kate, you’re the best. I don’t know how you do it.”
“That’s why I’m the boss. I’m a genius.” She twirled the same envelope beneath her fingers.
“What
is
that?”
“What?”
“That letter.”
Kate looked down as if she hadn’t even known what she was doing. “This? It’s the week’s payment from Swann’s.”
“You mean Joe didn’t drop it off like last time?”
“Since I agreed to a second date, he’s back to mailing the checks.”
Hmm. Lili couldn’t tell from Kate’s expression whether that was a good or a bad thing. “Are you ever going to tell me what
really
happened on that first date?”
“Nothing
happened,
Lili.” But Kate wore the oddest half smile that indicated something absolutely spectacular had occurred. “It just wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it would be.”
Lili laughed. “I’m sure Joe would hate hearing you put it that way.”
“Then don’t tell him.” Kate punctuated with a wide smile.
Joseph Swann had his work cut out for him, and Kate was worth it. It wasn’t in Kate’s nature to make the pursuit of happiness easy, but Joe had oodles of stamina, Lili was sure. He could take on any challenge.
“Oh, my God.” Lili gasped.
Kate jumped. “What?”
“I’ve had the most brilliant brainstorm. Serenity would be perfect for Joe.”
“Serenity the
cat?
” Kate knew about Lili’s trials and tribulations of finding homes for Wanetta’s babies.
“Yes.” Joe adored difficult females. Not that Kate was difficult, but well, certainly getting her to go out with him had been a two-month-long campaign. Maybe she’d better not reveal that as the reason Joe and Serenity would be perfect for each other. “He has to calm emotional people all day long. Think what he could do for Serenity.”
The front bell tinkled as the door opened, and Kate didn’t get a chance to answer.
“I think this customer’s for you,” she whispered, then grabbed the mail and headed into the back room.
“I wonder if you can help me.” Tanner’s voice trickled down Lili’s spine. Now that was the best ooh of the day.
She turned, leaned back against the counter and crossed her ankles, watching the delicious play of muscles as he came toward her. “And what are you looking for?”
He stopped in her personal space, his heady male scent swirling around her. “I need a very special bouquet for a very special lady.”
“Let me show you what we’ve got over here.” She took his hand and pulled him to the refrigerated units, out of sight of both the front door and the back room.
Tanner crowded up against her, his chest to her back, his lips near her ear. “Show me everything.”
She had shown him everything. But maybe she could think up something new. And terribly exciting. “How about that one?” She pointed to a spray of gladioli inside the refrigerator.
“Too ordinary,” he whispered in her ear, and Lili shivered.
She shifted against him, pointing to another. “Well, there’s that one.” A vase of roses, baby’s breath and ferns.
“Too fussy.” He put his arm around her, his thumb flirting with the underside of her breast.
“Hmm. Well, how about the one in the back?” Pink, blue and green carnations.