It's All About Him (23 page)

Like many Christians, for years I had wanted a more vibrant prayer life. I knew that Bible study and prayer were the keys to real intimacy with Jesus. And though I'd been committed to regular Bible study for several years,my prayer life was sporadic, and often dull or cold.

I know I'm not alone in this. As Philip Yancey writes in
Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference?,
Gallup polls show that nine out of ten Americans pray regularly, and three out of four say that they pray every day. When Yancey interviewed people himself, most said that prayer was very important to them. The rest of the conversation typically went something like this:

“How often do you pray?
Every day
. Approximately how long?
Five minutes—well, maybe seven.
Do you find prayer satisfying?
Not really
. Do you sense the presence of God when you pray?
Occasionally, not often
.”

Yancey says, “Many of those I talked to experience prayer more as a burden than as a pleasure. They regarded it as important, even paramount, and felt guilty about their failure, blaming themselves.”
²
In my own journey with Jesus, a specific set of tools has revolutionized my prayer life. A friend gave me a book by Becky Tirabassi titled—appropriately—
Let Prayer Change Your Life
. In it Becky describes her own struggles with having a regular and invigorating prayer time, and how God gave her some specific, practical steps that changed it—and her—dramatically. As I engaged in these steps, prayer became an entirely new adventure for me.

I wake up in the mornings with all kinds of wild, random thoughts, but I take comfort that in this I'm like the great writer C. S. Lewis. He said:

The real problem of the Christian life comes . . . the very moment you wake up each morning.All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other, larger, stronger, quieter life coming flowing in.
³

How Can I Know God?

For me, listening to the larger, stronger voice of God starts with reading His Word. I use a Bible reading program that Becky developed. It has readings listed for each day of the year. These are selections from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs.

After slowly reading the Scriptures, I open my mind and heart to what the Holy Spirit might be saying to me. I listen. I turn it over in my mind, kind of like a cow chewing its cud, though I'm not thrilled about comparing myself to a cow.

Then I get out the prayer journal. It has neat, organized sections in which to jot my prayers.

• In the
praise
section, I often rewrite praises from the Psalms in my own words, to give God the glory that He deserves.

• Next I
admit
my sins to God, jotting down whatever He brings to mind and asking for His forgiveness so my relationship with Him can be current, without any old baggage or garbage between us. Sometimes God brings to mind things for which I need to ask other people to forgive me. For example, the other day in the car, nine-year-old Dani continued to argue with me about something after I had told her to stop. Frustrated, I got very upset with her and reacted with anger. During my prayer time, I realized that I needed to go back and ask her forgiveness for my lack of self-control. So I did!

• In the
request
section, I write down my concerns and requests for myself and others. It has been incredibly rewarding to look back at these journal pages and see all the prayers that God has answered. Some answers have been those I asked for; others have been way outside the box of my own expectations.

• The next section is for
giving thanks
to God. The more I write on these pages, the more comes to mind. Gratitude to God perpetuates more gratitude. It's addictive!

• In the
listening
section, I write whatever I feel the Holy Spirit is saying to me. It might be a certain Scripture that I read that day, or perhaps a new sense of God's guidance in a particular situation. Or something may come to mind that I feel the Lord is leading me to do that day.

• Lastly, I write down anything from the Scripture readings that I want to memorize or apply in a particular way.

My grandmother had her own disciplines for spending time with God in prayer; my daughters may well have different ways that they do it. But for me, this system has been enormously helpful. What is important is not the particular format, but the priority of time reserved for connecting with God. The more we seek Him out, the more we're drawn to be like Him—and the more we're at peace as we see His direction in our lives.

In a world so full of troubles and turns on life's road, prayer really is the believer's key to peace with God. For me, it's the only way I can continue to stay in the passenger seat, where I belong, and make sure that
Jesus
is at the wheel of my life.

Chapter 25
HAPPILY EVER AFTER, EVENWHENWE'RE NOT

In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16:33b

Two old people without a thing
Children gone but still they sing
Side by side in that front porch swing
Livin' on love
He can't see anymore
And she can barely sweep the floor
Hand in hand they'll walk through that door
Livin' on love

Alan Jackson, “Livin' on Love,”

O
n a crisp fall evening last year, Alan and I stood at the edge of the football field at our daughters' high school, feeling like we were about eighty years old. It was Mattie's homecoming game, and her classmates had elected her as a member of the homecoming court. At her school, these class representatives tend to be not only beautiful young women, but also good students, who show leadership abilities and strong character. We were proud of Mattie for being recognized in this way.

At halftime, we climbed down from the stands and stood in front of the chain-link fence adjacent to the field. The band played, and blue and white balloons and banners lined the playing field. The announcer called out the girls' names as they perched on the backs of convertibles proceeding slowly around the field.

NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE CAN ROMANTICIZE RELATIONSHIPS, FULFILLMENT, AND THE FUTURE WHEN WE'RE TEENAGERS, REAL LOVE STORIES PLAY OUT MUCH LONGER, AND WITH A LOT MORE COMPLEXITY, THAN A TWO-AND-A -HALF-MINUTE SONG ON THE RADIO.

“And the sophomore class representative is Miss Mattie Jackson!” he said. Alan and I whooped, clapped, and took several million pictures as Mattie and her escort,Michael, got out of the car and took their places in a semicircle with the rest of the homecoming court.

As I watched Mattie with her long, coral dress and her dark hair gleaming in the lights of the football stadium, I was suddenly struck by a sense of déjà vu, or time travel, or both. I remembered so clearly when I was Mattie's age, standing in the bright lights, my whole life in front of me. Alan had been my escort all those years ago . . . and now here we were, hanging on to the fence in the stadium while our daughter experienced her own high school rite of passage.

I looked up at Alan, and back at Mattie, and thought how very strange life is.No matter how much we romanticize relationships, fulfillment, and the future when we're teenagers, real love stories play out much longer, and with a lot more complexity, than a two-and-a-half-minute song on the radio.

Fairy Tales and Real Life?

In real life the fairy tale is different from the simple version we dream of when we're young. In real life the prince and princess don't just put on the glass slipper, or get rid of the evil stepmother or the villain, and then it's happily ever after. As Alan's very first #1 record put it, “The boy don't always get the girl/here in the real world.”

In real life, heroes and heroines go through all kinds of struggles, trouble, and heartaches. If they don't die young, they get wrinkles and lose their hair. They laugh and cry together over decades. They break each other's hearts and help each other heal. Real love matures. It means having to say you're sorry. Real love is deeper, wilder, and stronger than the two-hour romances we see at the movies.

I'm just beginning to learn about that kind of real love. I haven't figured it all out, and even if I had, I still wouldn't be able to live it, day in and day out. I practice “real love” imperfectly, at best.

But that's where I find real life in my relationship with Jesus so absolutely freeing. I don't have to be perfect. I can't be perfect. But I know that He is with me, forgiving me when I fail and picking me up when I fall. And because of His presence and power with me, I can begin to be the wife, mother, daughter, and friend that I was truly designed to be. When it's all about Him, then our stories not only have an unbelievably happy ultimate ending, but every chapter—happy
or
sad—is somehow sweeter than the one before.

Time for Dessert

I once heard a story about an elderly lady who went to her young pastor to plan her funeral arrangements. I don't know exactly where this took place, but it sounds like the South to me.

The woman listed her choice of hymns, Scripture selections, and exactly what outfit she wanted to wear in her open casket. The pastor, smiling, took careful notes.

“There's one more thing,” the lady said.

“What is it, Mrs. Jones?” the pastor asked. “I'll do whatever I can to honor your wishes.”

“I want you to make sure that the funeral home takes care of one final arrangement,” she said, tapping her cane on the floor for emphasis. “I want them to put me in my casket with a silver fork in my hand.”

“A fork?” the pastor repeated.

“Yes,” she said. “A sterling silver dessert fork. And when everyone comes and looks in the casket to pay their respects, and they say, ‘Why in the world does she have a dessert fork in her hand?' I want you to tell them the reason why.”

“And what might that reason be?” the pastor asked, scratching his head.

The elderly woman smiled. “Son, when I was young,my parents told me to eat up my dinner because the best part of the meal was yet to come. We always looked forward to dessert, knowing it would be sweet.

“So I want you to tell those people that I was buried with a dessert fork in my hand because I knew that after this life comes the sweetest part of all. Tell them I knew that by God's grace,
the best is yet to come!
”

I don't think I want to be buried with a dessert fork in my hand, but I agree with the lady in this story. I've learned that all kinds of troubles will come in this life. Jesus said to expect them. They're not the exception; they're the norm. Today's world simmers with terrors and unrest, and our personal lives can churn with hard times too.

But I'm learning that I don't have to be afraid or anxious when the crises come. God is with me. He will give me whatever I need to get through life's challenges. He can do miracles in me, right in the midst of troubled times.

And, whatever happens,
He
is writing our life story. If we yield to His control, we can have peace as our story unfolds. We can have confidence and a sweet sense of anticipation that all
will
be well in the end, when we're enjoying His pleasures for- ever. The Bible promises, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.”
¹

To be sure, the very best is yet to come!

Reflection

I
don't know where you are on your journey of faith. Maybe you're at the steering wheel of your life's car. Maybe Jesus is in the backseat, or the passenger seat, and you're realizing that you need to ask Him to take the wheel. Or maybe Jesus isn't even in your car, but He's by the side of the road, calling out to you that there is danger ahead.