It's All About Him (32 page)

'My God, Vi, you've been through so much.'

'No more than anyone else. At least I had somewhere to come back to and a few bob to buy my lovely little house.'

'And you have lots of friends,' Dee added as the sadness lingered in the older woman's eyes. 'Me, Conor, Lisa and Ronan and Julia.' She grinned. 'Well, maybe not Julia!'

Vi smiled too, but her heart wasn't in it.

'I think I should get going.' Dee stood up. 'Oh, I feel a bit dizzy!'

'You did drink a bottle of wine,' Vi reminded her.

Dee groaned. 'I didn't, did I? I'm going to be in a right state in the morning. Still, I don't care, it's been great. Thank you, Vi. Not only for listening to me, but for trusting me with your story.'

Vi stood too and embraced her. 'Likewise.'

'Will you be okay?' Dee's eyes searched her face.

'Of course!' Vi assured her. 'Will you?'

Dee nodded and smiled. 'Yes, I think I will. I think I know what I have to do.'

As she walked home, Dee's head was reeling with all that Vi had told her and for once she was completely distracted from her own problems. The poor, poor woman! How awful it must have been for her to go through all of that alone. Dee couldn't begin to imagine it. If she hadn't had Lisa she'd have been consumed by loneliness and even Aunt Pauline had been supportive in her own peculiar way. Vi was obviously a strong woman, even stronger than Dee had always imagined. She was surprised and touched that she had confided in her. It had brought their friendship to a new level and Dee knew that it would not be the last time that she turned to Vi.

'You're out late.'

Dee jumped as Conor appeared from nowhere at her shoulder. 'Conor, you scared the hell out of me!'

'Sorry. I did whistle all the way up the road. You must either be very drunk or very preoccupied.'

She smiled sleepily. 'A little of both.'

'Where were you?' he asked lightly. 'I didn't see you in the pub.'

'No, I was in Vi's,' Dee said, liking the fact that he was interested.

'Oh, are you still posing for her?'

'We're finished now.'

'I'm looking forward to seeing the results.'

'I don't know if I am,' Dee admitted, thinking about how Vi said she painted from the inside out; a frightening thought given the turmoil that had been going on inside Dee's head over the last few weeks.

'How are you?' he asked softly as they continued the short distance to her house.

'Okay. You?'

'Fine. Nice haircut.'

She laughed. 'Liar. How are the cattle?'

'Healthy again, thank God. It was looking very dodgy for a few days but it looks like they've all come through it unscathed. Is Sam okay?'

She turned to smile at him. 'You only saw him the other day.'

'Yeah, I know.'

'He misses you too,' she assured him. 'When I was going out this evening he wanted to know why you couldn't mind him instead of Paula.'

'You know you can ask me anytime.'

They stopped at her gate and she looked up at him. 'I'm not sure that would work.'

He rested his hands lightly on her arms. 'Dee, I miss him and I miss you too.'

She looked up at him. 'Conor, I don't know whether I'm coming or going at the moment and I don't want to mess you around.'

'Do you miss me?' he persisted, pulling her closer.

'Yes,' she whispered, 'but—'

He put his finger to her lips. 'Let's just take it from there, shall we?'

Her eyes held his and she kissed his finger and then, parting her lips, ran her tongue along it.

Conor groaned. 'Don't do stuff like that unless you mean it.'

She didn't answer but closing her eyes, pulled his head down to hers and kissed him hungrily.

Conor pressed her back against the garden wall and his hands moved up and down her body.

Dee knew that this shouldn't be happening but she couldn't bring herself to stop it. It had been a while since Conor had kissed her like this and she couldn't even remember the last time they'd made love. She shuddered as his mouth moved to her neck and throat and one hand slipped into the waistband of her jeans, his fingers playing with the flimsy lace of her pants.

'Dee?' He pulled away to look at her, his breathing ragged.

'Wait here, I'll get rid of Paula.'

Dee woke in the early hours to Conor kissing her shoulder and slipping out of the bed. 'Where are you going?' she asked, lifting her head off the pillow to look at the clock and regretting it. There seemed to be a hammer banging relentlessly at her temples and her eyes hurt.

'I didn't think you'd want Sam to see me here,' he whispered.

'Yeah, you're right, it might confuse him,' she conceded. She watched sleepily as he pulled on his jeans and sweatshirt. 'He won't be up for ages yet.'

Conor sat down beside her and gave her a long, lingering kiss. 'I need to get back. I've no car and it will take me nearly an hour to walk.'

She searched his face. 'Are you sorry you came back with me last night?'

'No, of course not, Dee. How can you think that after what we've just done?'

She shrugged and yawned. 'That was just sex.'

He stiffened. 'Was it now?'

She grinned. 'Yes and very good it was too.'

He rose to his feet and grabbed his jacket. 'Glad I could be of service. Goodbye, Dee.'

'Seeya,' she murmured, ducking back under the covers and closing her eyes.

'Get up, Mummy, get up!'

Dee woke to find her son bouncing up and down on the bed beside her. Reaching up she pulled him down and tickled him.

'Stop, Mummy, stop,' he said, shrieking happily.

She relented, dropped a kiss on his cheek and then swung her legs out of bed. Immediately her head started to throb and she winced. Peering at the clock through leaden eyelids, she cursed softly. 'It's seven-thirty, the damned alarm didn't go off.'

'Yes it did, you just didn't hear it.'

She turned to grab him and tickle him again. 'Then why didn't you wake me?'

He put a hand to her cheek and smiled into her eyes. 'I thought you might need to sleep. You work very hard, Mummy.'

Dee hugged him briefly. 'Get your slippers on and we'll go and have some breakfast.' When he was gone, she stood up and pulled on her own robe, conscious of a slight tenderness around her thighs, a reminder of the passionate night she'd shared with Conor. Her smug smile faded, however, when she remembered his abrupt departure in the early hours. She couldn't quite remember what had been said but she had the distinct feeling he'd been annoyed with her.

Going downstairs, she set Sam up with a bowl of cornflakes and a glass of apple juice and went in search of her phone. It was in her bag on the floor just inside the back door where she'd dropped it last night and she flushed as she remembered how desperate she had been to get rid of Paula and drag Conor inside.

'Morning, how are you?' she typed into the phone and sent it to him. That was an innocent enough message. She'd find out if she was in his bad books or not when she saw his reply. Her phone beeped as the message was sent and then beeped again as the message was received but although she kept it beside her as she made tea and started to plan her day, there was no reply from Conor. Still, he had a habit of leaving his phone in the house when he was outside on the farm and this was his busiest time. She could phone the house and leave a message on his answering machine but there was probably no need. He'd call or text when he had time.

'Mummy, my arm is itchy,' Sam complained, pushing his bowl aside and rubbing his skin roughly.

'Don't darling,' Dee said, going to him and frowning at the red blotches all down the side of his arm. Now what the hell had caused that? 'Did you have anything to eat with Paula last night?'

He shook his head.

'Please tell me the truth, Sam, you won't be in trouble.'

'I didn't have anything, Mummy, I promise,' he protested, tears welling up in his eyes.

'I'm sorry, sweetheart, of course I believe you.' She hugged him quickly. 'Let's get you into a cool bath and then I'll put some cream on your arm. You'll be right as rain in no time.' She smiled confidently at him, scooped him into her arms as if he was a baby, and took him upstairs.

Once Sam was playing happily with a plastic submarine in the bath, Dee gathered his clothes and bed linen in her arms and ran downstairs to stick them in the washing machine. Then she quickly hoovered the floor and sofa before going upstairs and hoovering every surface of his bedroom. She was about to put the hoover away when she remembered Sam had been in her room as well and, just in case, she hoovered in there and stripped the sheets from her bed too. She would have been changing them anyway, she realized as she smelled the faint aroma of Conor's aftershave. Last night seemed an eternity ago now.

'Mummy, I'm getting cold,' Sam called to her.

'Coming,' she yelled back and after she'd brought all the laundry downstairs and put the hoover away, she went up to dry him carefully in a soft towel and applied the cream to his arm. It didn't look that much better but at least Sam wasn't complaining too much.

She had just plonked him in front of a video and made herself another cup of tea when Lisa breezed in.

'Is my name in the pot?' she asked. 'Hiya, Sam.'

Sam waved vaguely, his attention on the TV.

'Is everything okay?' Lisa asked, realizing that Sam was in pyjamas and his hair was damp.

Dee fetched another mug. 'He has a rash on his arm.'

'Oh, anything serious?'

'It looks quite angry but it doesn't seem to be spreading. I think I might keep him here with me today.' She brought the tea over to the table and flopped into the chair opposite Lisa's.

'Wouldn't it be better if he came into the crèche?' Lisa said, adding milk to her mug. 'It would be a distraction for him and anyway, you look exhausted.'

'Yeah, well, I've just hoovered everywhere and stripped the beds too. The fact that the rash is localized suggests exposure to something, probably animal hair but I've no idea how it could have happened. Do any of the kids have a new pet at home?'

'Not that I know of and all the parents know about Sam's allergy, so they're pretty vigilant.'

Dee shook her head in resignation. 'Then I just don't know. Maybe I'll call Paula and see if she has any ideas. Unless—'

'What?'

Dee was remembering Sam rolling around her bed earlier and wondered whether Conor had left a souvenir of Boxer there.

'What is it?' Lisa repeated.

'Conor was here last night,' Dee mumbled.

Lisa grinned delightedly. 'You've only just broken up!'

Dee sighed. 'I know.'

'So it's all back on again.'

'Wipe that silly grin off your face,' Dee said, but she was smiling too. 'I'd had a few drinks with Vi and I was on my way home when I bumped into him and' – she shrugged – 'well, one thing led to another, you know how it is.'

Lisa sighed. 'Not really, Ger's not the impulsive type.'

Dee chuckled. 'Anyway, I'm not sure whether we're on or off. I vaguely remember that he was a bit pissed off with me before he left but I'm not sure why.'

'Ask him.'

Dee rolled her eyes. 'Oh, yeah, that would go down really well. "Conor, what did I do to upset you, only I was too drunk to remember.' ''

'Well, you don't say it quite like that, stupid.'

Dee shot a look at the clock and sprang to her feet. 'Oh, well, I've no time to think about it now, I have to prepare lunch for the café.'

'What are we having?' Lisa asked, quickly draining her mug and heading for the door into the hall.

'Chicken casserole,' Dee told her, 'and just beans on toast for tea, I'm afraid.'

'They love beans,' Lisa assured her. 'Are you going to let Sam come inside?'

'I'll keep him here for the moment,' Dee decided, 'maybe later.'

'Okay then, see you later, Sam.'

'Bye.' Sam waved at her and then wandered over to his mother. 'Am I not going into the crèche today, Mummy?'

'Let's see how it goes,' Dee said, inspecting his arm. 'How does it feel?'

He shrugged. 'Okay. Can Tom come in and play with me?'

'Oh, I don't know, Sam—'

'Please?' he begged.

'We'll see.'

He sighed impatiently. 'So can I watch TV until then?'

'I thought we could listen to a story while I cook.' Sam had several CDs of stories that Dee sometimes let him listen to when he couldn't sleep.

'Cool!' he said and sped upstairs to choose one.

Dee was relieved that he was so easily diverted. Often rashes reduced him to tears but thankfully this one seemed mild. It was possible that some of Boxer's hair was responsible. Though Conor was always very careful that he didn't carry any dog hair into her house, he hadn't expected to see her last night, never mind end up in her bed. As she started to prepare the vegetables for the casserole that would feed both the crèche and Ronan's customers, she remembered the feel of Conor's hands and lips on her body and realized exactly how much she'd missed that closeness.

'Mummy, I've got one!' Sam was back and was scrambling up on to a kitchen chair.

'Give it here then.' Dee smiled at him and, wiping her hands on her apron, she went over to put the disk into the CD player and fetched Sam some yoghurt on the way back.

As Sam ate and his eyes glazed as he got caught up in the story, Dee thought that, despite all the complications in her life, she really was a very lucky woman.

Lisa was sitting at her kitchen table a few days later, applications and notepad in front of her and a pen clenched between her teeth, when she came to a decision. She had interviewed two more candidates but neither had come close to Yvonne. Now, if Dee agreed, she would ask the girl to join them for a month's trial to see how they all got on. Happily she had Martha's backing; her young assistant had been equally impressed by Yvonne's handling of the children. Lisa had hoped she would be able to hire two candidates straight away but she wasn't going to settle for just anyone. She would keep looking until she found another girl as talented as Yvonne; it was just a matter of time, she decided optimistically.