2
T
wo hours later, my stepsister Candy and I walk into the gymnasium for the Hi-Steppers meeting, and everyone is already here. That's a first, because Valerie is always late. She likes to take her time and let everyone wait for her. It's all about her inner diva.
But not today, so she must be on some kind of mission. And from the look on her face, it's all bad.
“Ooo-OOO!” Valerie calls. “Thanks for showing up!”
Ooo-OOO is the Hi-Steppers' trademark. It sounds kind of like a bird call, unless you've got a deep voice, and then it just sounds a mess.
I reply, “Chill, we're only five minutes late.”
“What a good example for the rest of the squad,
cocaptain.
”
I toss up one hand and roll my eyes. “Carry on, Valerie.”
Valerie is still twisted that she's no longer the queen of the Hi-Steppers. At the beginning of the school year, our coach, Ms. Vaughn, made me Valerie's co-captain based on my ridiculous choreography skills.
I know what you're thinking. I
am
feeling myself just a little bit. Normally, that would not be a good look, but in this case, it is totally justified. Seriously!
Valerie continues, “Anyway, I was saying how we, as the Hi-Steppers, have to reclaim what's ours.”
“And that would be what?” Kelani asks.
Candy and I look at each other and smile. Kelani must be sick of being Valerie's sidekick. Kelani and Jewel, the giggle twins, have generally been Valerie's little peons. She tells them to jump, and they're doing double dutch.
“Why don't you listen so I can finish?” Valerie asks. “We need to reclaim our title as the school's spirit ambassadors.”
Jewel says, “I thought that the cheerleaders were the spirit ambassadors.”
“What about the rally girls?” Candy adds.
“Really,” I say, “we're the front line of the marching band. So, yeah, we're about spirit, but we're mostly about stepping!”
Everyone nods at my definition. Well, not everyone. Valerie looks like she wants to open a whole can of Latina whooping on me.
“We are
more
than the front line of the marching band. We get the team pumped for a victory! WE are the heart and soul of the Longfellow Spartans!”
Somebody has been watching too many Lifetime movies.
“Okay, okay. We're the heart and soul! But what does that have to do with our step routine for the state championship?” I ask.
Valerie smiles. “I'm glad you asked that, Gia. I've come up with a routine that will prove who has the most spirit.”
Valerie points to Jewel, who gets up to press Play on the CD player. Rihanna's “Umbrella” plays from the speakers. Valerie does her little step, and er ... uh ... it is the opposite of slamming. Actually, it's la-a-a-ame.
After the music stops, I look around to see everyone's expressions. No one is impressed. At all. I don't even think Valerie was impressed with that mess.
“Well, you have to see it with the umbrellas,” Valerie explains.
She is met with silence. Ha!
Should I save her? I suppose I will.
I say, “I'm with you on bringing the spirit, but what if we do a traditional military drill step to the music?”
Valerie scrunches her nose like she's not feeling it. “Military? Boo, we are fabulous. We do fabulous routines.”
No, she didn't. Not after she just did a routine that looked like my three-year-old cousin's ballet recital.
“Valerie, we can do it in a totally fab way. Check this. The Spartans in Greece were warriors, so our Spartans, they're like soldiers.”
Valerie rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I get where you're going with the military theme. Just hurry up and get there.”
You cannot rush genius.
“Anyway,” I continue, “we can get the Spartans pumped up with this.” I grab my book bag and take out a CD and a whistle. I look over at Candy, who's waiting for my cue. She and I have been rehearsing this routine and it is fire, trust me.
I pop my CD into the CD player.
I say, “Kelani, when I point to you, press Play.”
“What?” Valerie asks. “The music starts the routine.”
“Not this one. It's military style.”
I blow the whistle that I hung around my neck, then Candy and I start the routine. The beginning is a series of claps, kicks, and stomps. When we're done with this part, I point to Kelani and she presses Play.
The music starts, and it's two old school fight songs, handpicked by me. “We Will Rock You” and “Another One Bites the Dust.” Yeah, totally hot.
The choreography is tight, too, but I must give props to Candy. Yes, she's my completely annoying stepsister who constantly brings the drama, but she is sooo gifted when it comes to making up these step routines. When Valerie graduates at the end of the year, I'm suggesting that Candy take her place as co-captain of the Hi-Steppers squad.
But keep that on the low. Valerie would be super twisted, and I can't have Candy getting a big head or anything like that.
Everyone claps when we finish ... even Valerie.
“It's not what I had in mind,” Valerie says, “but it's caliente, chica. Does everyone want to do Gia's step for the state championship game?”
“Candy helped, so it's not just my step,” I add.
Candy looks really shocked. “Thanks, Gia.”
Let me just say this. I'm really not this nice, especially to Candy. But she's going through a pretty horrific punishment right now. A few weeks ago, she got caught shoplifting and her dad, LeRon, and Gwen took all her clothes! All of her Dolce, all of her Juicy Couture, all of her Baby Phatâgone!
They left her with, like, five outfits that look like they came from Target. And that's all she can wear until spring break. So she's having the worst day ever, like every day.
Not only did they take away her clothes, but she can't participate in any Hi-Steppers events, except practice. She can't step at the game or ride the school bus to Columbus, Ohio, which is two hours from our 'hood in Cleveland, where we're spending the night after the championship game. She's on complete and total lockdown.
So let's just say that she deserves something good.
“Next practice,” Valerie says, “we're going to start learning Gia and Candy's step. Also, Ms. Vaughn says we need to pick roommates for our hotel rooms in Columbus. We have to be four to a room. Gia, Kelani, and Jewel, you're with me.”
“What if we don't want to be with you?” Kelani asks.
Jewel's eyes get really big, like she's about to leave her home girl hanging, and Jewel
never
leaves Kelani hanging.
Jewel asks, “Why wouldn't we want to room with Valerie?”
“I don't want to. She can room with the other seniors who don't feel they have to come to the Hi-Steppers meetings.”
Whispers ripple through the group. It's true that the seniors don't come to the team meetings. A couple of them play field hockey, though, and one of them runs cross-country. They do come to practice, though, and that's the most important thing.
With the Hi-Steppers, if you don't come to practice, then you don't get to step. That's Ms. Vaughn's rule, and nobody ever tries to overstep that.
“Kelani, do you have a problem with me?” Valerie asks.
“Why do you think that?” Kelani responds.
Valerie gets right in Kelani's face. “Because your attitude has been stank with me since the Homecoming game. What's up with that?”
Jewel looks at the floor. Obviously
she
knows what's up. Somebody needs to tell the rest of us, so we can move on.
Kelani doesn't back down. “What's up with you going to Homecoming with my dude?”
Are you kidding me? Who knew Kelani was hollering at Chris, the drum major? He helped Valerie in her little scheme during the Homecoming game and she rewarded him with a date to the dance. Everyone thought it was funnyâexcept Kelani, I guess.
Valerie laughs out loud. “I've had enough drama over these lame high school boys! Chica, I do not want Chris. He's served his purpose to me. Does anyone else have any real announcements?”
Candy raises her hand. “Yes, I do. My stepmom and step-auntie are starting purity classes at our church. Everyone is invited to join us.”
“Purity classes? What are those?” Jewel asks.
I shake my head, because I know that now I have to answer this. Why did Candy open her big, fat mouth? That was soooo not a Hi-Steppers announcement.
“Purity classes are for girls who plan to keep their virginity until marriage. I guess they're gonna teach us about respecting ourselves and all that. I know it's a little lame, but ...”
“Sign me up,” Valerie says.
I blink three times before answering. “Umm ... you have to be a virgin to be in the class.”
“I
am
a virgin. Don't believe everything you hear.”
I'm going to go with this for a moment. It will be a quick moment, because Valerie's reputation is pretty darn bad. But, for the sake of argument, let's say that Valerie
is
a virgin.
If that's the case, there are a lot of lying boys in this school, because I've heard that she's done everything under the sun. Things that I'm not even supposed to know are possible. Bad things that would result in Gwen ending my life.
But, who am I to say that the boys
aren't
lying? It wasn't too long ago when Romeo lied on me to everybody. He had his entire little crew thinking I was out there all like that. And I totally was not!
Here's the thing, though. If they are lying on Valerie, she doesn't seem to care one bit. I think she likes having a bad reputation.
So, tell me why someone who enjoys having a bad name would join our little purity class?
Methinks something is rotten in Denmark.
Oh, come on, people ... Hamlet? Shakespeare? Required reading!
Anyway, I don't think Valerie will last very long in a class run by Gwen the punisher.
“Okay, Valerie,” I reply, “you can come to the purity classes. They start on Wednesday evening at our church.”
“Cool. Does anyone else have any announcements?” Valerie asks.
Jewel raises her hand. “The rally girls are having a prestate party on Thursday night.”
Valerie says, “Thanks for the reminder, Jewel. We'll all be there.”
Hold up. Wait a minute. Before Homecoming, Valerie tried to institute an all Hi-Steppers ban on the rally girls' parties. Of course, I ignored the ban, because my cousin Hope is a former Hi-Stepper, current rally girl. Plus, they have slamming parties.
“I thought we were reclaiming our title as spirit ambassadors,” Kelani says. “Can you make up your mind about what we're doing?”
Valerie gives Kelani some pretty evil side eye. Kelani is pushing it. I've only seen Valerie act civilized in very small doses. We've already been blessed with more than thirty minutes of sweet Valerie. In about five seconds she's gonna start tripping.
“Yes, we are the spirit ambassadors, but that doesn't mean we won't support other Longfellow groups. We're all one school.”
If you know Valerie, like I know Valerie (and some of you do), then you know something isn't right. She has this look on her face that reminds me of Sylvester the cat, right before he tries to jump up and snatch Tweety out of his cage.
Yes, Tweety
is
a boy.
Like I was saying, Valerie has a devious expression on her face, like she knows something the rest of us don't.
Valerie says, “Everyone is dismissed from the meeting! Holla!”
Before leaving the gym, Kelani and Jewel storm over toward me. They don't look happy. I never thought I'd see this day, when Twiddledee and Twiddledum are not on the same page.
“Gia!” Jewel says. “Are you gonna be in our hotel room?”
“Yeah, sure.”
My hip buzzes. Well, not my hip, but my phone that's on my hip. It's a text.
Â
SAT prep class starts week after next. want me to sign you up? Kev.
Â
Â
I reply. Absolutely.
“Who was that?” Candy asks.
“Nobody. Just Kevin.”
“What did he want?”