It's Just Lola (47 page)

“Jesus H. Christ, Lola.” 
Wulf
jumped to catch her before she hit the floor.  She looked up at his face, pale with
shock
, and saw concern battle with anger in his expression.  He picked her up and sat her down on a chair.  Lola was terrified.  She knew her reaction said more than any words she could possibly say.  To her amazement,
Wulf
did not explode; he controlled his anger and sat down in front of her.

“Apparently his tall tale wasn
’
t so tall,” he said through clenched teeth.  “It seems that my wife
, who
protests her innocence and virtue at every opportunity
,
isn
’
t so innocent and virtuous after all.”  He looked at her expectantly.

Lola felt hot tears course down her cheeks.  “
H
e
claimed
my father w
anted
us to marry
and a pregnancy would hasten his decision
.  I was a gullible, innocent child
of
thirteen, and I’d never been off the plantation.
”  She searched his face for a clue that he understood.  “
He said
he wanted to marry me, but
he disappeared.
” 
Lola started to sob. 

Wulf
’s face was pale and Lola could see the cords of his neck stand out; his lips were pursed together and his brows were almost V-shaped, his frown was so hard.  He got up and left the house without a word.  Lola sat, unable to move. 
H
er marriage
was
crumbl
ing
around her.

Dawn was beginning to lighten the sky when
Wulf
returned.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was ashamed.  I never told anyone—not anyone.  I never even confessed to a priest.  I haven
’
t
been to mass
since.”  Lola
had had all night to think about what to say
.
 
“When I thought you were dead, my father got very sick.”

“I heard you went and nursed him back to health.”

“He wanted me to bring the children.  He said he would leave me the plantation.”  She had Wulf’s attention.  “I gave that up because I knew Estelle would learn that she was illegitimate.”  With the icy calm of her father’s anger, she continued.  “Wulf, if Estelle ever hears even a whisper of this, I’ll never forgive you.”

“You should
’
ve told me.”

Lola’s anger loosened her tongue.  “You never asked me anything about my past.  You said you loved me for what I was when we met.  You loved me and you loved my children.
 
I never asked
you
what you did before we got married.  I
’
m not so naïve as to think that I was the first woman with whom you shared a bed, but that wasn
’
t important to me.  What was important was that you loved me when we married and you promised to be faithful to me from that day forward.  I promised the same and I
’
ve kept that promise.  I never, ever thought of looking at another man since that day—not even in the months when I thought you were dead.”  It was too dark to see the expression on his face, but she felt his weight as he sat on the bed and heard his shoes hit the floor.  She gave thanks that disaster had been averted.

Lola smiled all the time in the days that followed.  Joseph was around more than usual
,
and she even saw him doing homework a few times.  Estelle was smiling more, too.  She kissed
Wulf
goodbye when he shipped out and bent over her sewing machine, trying to make up for the time she
’
d spent away from it
while
Wulf
was
home. 

A
few days later, she
packaged up a gross of neckties
and walked the two blocks to the bus.  She paid the money she made from sewing a dozen ties just to get them to the factory and back.  She shuddered as she remembered riding in the wagon collecting army uniforms from women who did piece work.  No matter how hard her life was, she knew there were many women who would envy her.  As she walked from the bus to Simon’s Tie
Factory,
she looked longingly into the window of a millinery shop.  She couldn’t remember when she
’
d last had a new hat.  She loved hats.  She loved the colors; she loved the feathers and adornments; she loved the way it could change a woman’s appearance.  She walked on to collect her pay and get her next batch of silk ties to sew, day dreaming of making hats.

The next time she went to town with her ties, she dressed carefully and wore her best hat
, which she had brushed carefully
.  It had been a long time since she
’
d worn the hat.  She saw the children off to school
and
took Harry to Mrs. Snyder, the
next-door
neighbor who had
befriended her and the children. 
Her only son had been killed in the war
, and her daughters had married and moved away
.

Lola smiled every time she thought of the looks of pure astonishment on the
children’s
faces when they found the brightly colored eggs
Mrs. Snyder
hid for them
the first Easter.  Estelle had confided in her mother that
Mrs. Snyder must be
crazy because she said a bunny
left
the eggs.  Everyone knew rabbits didn’t lay eggs.
 

Lola was excited as she stepped into the millinery shop.  What harm could it do to try on the wonderful hats?  The proprietress didn
’
t know she had no money to buy one.  It would be a harmless pleasure.

“This hat is very becoming to madam’s facial structure.”
Lola looked at her reflection.
  Lola flicked the decoration with her finger, causing the pieces to click together.

“Those are artificial cherries,”
said
the woman.

“I know they’re artificial cherries
, but
t
hey make an annoying sound when I turn my head.  This hat would be much nicer with a tall feather—perhaps one of those striped pheasant feathers.  The dark brown and beige stripes would complement the dark green, instead of looking like Christmas decorations.”  Perhaps she shouldn’t have spoken so critically.  She didn
’
t want the woman to ask her to leave before she
’
d tried on a few more hats.  To her
surprise,
the woman took the hat, removed the cherries, and found a feather to pin in their place.

“Like so?”  She placed the hat on Lola’s head and they both smiled.

“Exactly.”

“Would madam care to try on one of our new cloche hats?”  Lola’s eyes lit up as she thought of the very fashionable cloche hats.  The woman found
a few
that she thought suitable and brought them to her.  Lola tried them on one by one and shook her head.

“I’m afraid that isn’t for me,” she said sadly.  “
I have to be very careful which
hat
I wear because I’m so short. 
The feather adds height and gives a focal point a few inches higher for people to look at.” 

A tall elegantly dressed woman entered the shop.  Lola could see the shopkeeper’s dilemma.  She obviously wanted to serve the new customer, yet was unwilling to abandon Lola.

“Please, allow me some time to look at some more on my own,” Lola said.  The woman smiled her thanks and went to the new customer.  Lola could
n’
t help overhearing the conversation.  The woman found a hat the exact color she wanted
,
but she
was
dissatisfied with the design.  The shopkeeper was telling her that unfortunately that was the only hat they had in that exact shade.

“May I?” asked Lola.  At the shopkeeper’s almost imperceptible nod, Lola grasped the back of the brim and gathered in a small amount of felt at the rim.

“
A
small alteration in the brim will change the angle and
give
the
hat
a sleeker look.”  She held her hand over the bow at the side.  “With a sleeker
silhouette
, the bow quite overpowers madam’s delicate features.  She might prefer something a bit smaller—a bunch of artificial cherries perhaps?”  Lola could barely contain her laughter.  She was right, of course.  The cherries were perfect for the hat.

“That
’
s quite remarkable,” said the customer.  “Can you make the changes while I wait?”  She was addressing Lola.

“Of course,” Lola answered.  “Will you excuse us for a moment?”

Lola walk
ed
toward the back of the shop, followed closely by the shopkeeper.  “I can’t leave the front to make alterations now,”
the woman
whispered frantically.  “I
always
promise them for the following day.”

“I can do it
.
”
said
Lola.  Reluctantly the woman showed her where to find what she needed.  “I’ll need a spot of glue to keep those cherries from rattling,” Lola said before the woman left her.  Lola felt energy flowing through her fingers as they remembered the feel of working with good felt.  She knew exactly what she wanted to do, and in a matter of minutes the hat was ready.  She blew on the cherries to set the glue.  It would have to be handled gently for a couple of hours.  Very
carefully,
she placed it on the customer’s head and held a hand mirror behind her so she could see the back as well.

The customer left with the hat packed carefully into a hat box.

“That was fun,” said Lola with a laugh, “but I really must get home now.”  She picked up her package of ties and hurried away before the astonished shopkeeper could
ask if she wanted
the dark green hat.

Two months later Lola was working in the millinery shop,
earning
enough to think about getting the children new shoes.  Mrs. Snyder was happy to keep Harry until the older children got home from school. 

One evening as Lola was coming up the hill from the bus, she was surprised to see a car parked by her front door.  She ran toward the house.  What was the man’s name?  Danicci.  Leonard Danicci. 
He gave
Estelle
a ride to school in the mornings
.
  What was he doing at the house without a parent around?  She stopped to catch her breath before going up the steps.  She opened the door and her eyes widened as she saw them.  There he was with his arms around Estelle, kissing her—and she wasn
’
t
even
trying to get out of his embrace. 

“What
’
s the meaning of this?” she shouted.  The two moved apart with no look of surprise or guilt.

“It’s all right, Mama,” smiled Estelle.  “
We’
re going to be married!”

“Oh, no you’re not!”  Lola was emphatic.  “Estelle, you’re still in school.  You’re too young to get married.”

“I’m almost fifteen.  I’m older than you were when I was born.”  Lola
was horrified
. 
T
his man wasn
’
t right for her daughter. 

“Excuse us, Leonard
.
Mom and I need to talk for a minute.”  With a confident swish of her body, Estelle walked across the room and pulled
Lola
into the kitchen.  They sat at the kitchen table but Estelle couldn
’
t sit still.  She bounced up and walked around as she talked.

“Mama, don’t spoil this for me.  I’m not any good in school and you know I hate it.  Everyone makes fun of my accent; I don’t have any friends; the teachers ignore me and think I’m stupid.  I’m not going to pass anyway, so why bother?
 
Besides, Leonard and I are in love.”  Estelle danced around the room in her excitement.  “Don’t you remember what it was like to be young and in love?”

“Young?  He’s older than I am
.
”  Lola wasn’t sure of that, but the man certainly looked over thirty.

“Mama, this
is
a good thing for me.”  Estelle sat down again and looked at her mother seriously.  “He owns his own tailor shop.  He makes good money.  Did you see the size of his ring?  Please, Mama, don’t spoil my moment.”

“What about your father?  Shouldn’t he ask your father for your hand?”

“Leonard says that’s old fashioned and old world.  In this country the young people make up their own minds.  I made up my mind.