Ivanov (6 page)

Ivanov
What are you talking about?

Lebedev
My wife sent me. Do me a favour, as a friend, please pay the interest! I’m worn out with her nagging me about it – For God’s sake get her off my back – pay her!

Ivanov
Pasha, you know I’ve got nothing to pay with at the moment.

Lebedev
I know, I know, but what am I supposed to do? She won’t wait. If she takes you to court, Sasha and I will never be able to meet your eye ever again.

Ivanov
I feel so ashamed, Pavel, I wish the earth would just swallow me up. But where am I to get the money? Just tell me. There’s nothing for it but to wait till I can sell the grain in autumn.

Lebedev
(
shouts
)
She won’t wait!

Pause.

Ivanov
It’s an awkward situation for you, but mine is worse. There’s nothing I can think of . . . nothing I could sell . . .

Lebedev
Milbach owes you sixteen thousand, you must go and ask him.

Ivanov flaps his arm in a hopeless gesture.

All right, here’s what, Nicky . . . I know you’ll start objecting but . . . just humour an old soak, between friends, all right? Look on me as a friend. We were students together, liberals together, we had the same ideas. Moscow University is our alma mater –

He takes out his wallet.

So, look, here – I’ve got a secret stash, no one at home knows about it. Take it as a loan.

He takes out money and lays it on the table.

Swallow your pride and take it as an act of friendship. I’d do the same for you, cross my heart.

Pause.

Here it is on the table. Eleven hundred. You can drive over today and hand it to her in person. ‘Here you are, Zinaida Saveshna, ‘ you can say, ‘and may it choke you!’
Only, for God’s sake don’t let on you borrowed it from me, or I’ll be gooseberry jam. (
Stares at Ivanov’s face.
) All right, all right, no need for that -

He quickly takes the money from the table and puts it back in his pocket.

Forget it – I was only joking. I’m sorry, oh Christ, I’m really sorry!

Pause.

It’s all getting you down, isn’t it?

Ivanov waves his hand dismissively.

I know, what a business . . . (
Sighs.
)
A time of pain and sorrow. You know, old friend, a man is like a samovar. For much of the time he’s put away on the kitchen shelf, cold and empty, but there comes the moment when he’s taken down, filled with hot coals and – psht, psht – he’s in business! Actually a man is not like a samovar, you’re right, it’s balls, I just couldn’t think of anything a man is like. (
Sighs.
)
Ill fortune tempers the soul. I’m not offering you my pity, Nikolay, you’ll bounce back and things will come right. But I get angry when I hear what people are saying. It hurts me. Can you please tell me what’s behind this gossip about you? There are so many rumours going around the district, one half expects you to be arrested. People are saying you’re a murderer, a bloodsucker, a robber. . .

Ivanov
It’s all nonsense . . . and I’ve got a headache.

Lebedev
That’s from thinking too much.

Ivanov
I’m not thinking anything at all.

Lebedev
Anyway, don’t take any notice of all that – come over to us. Shurochka is fond of you, she appreciates you. She’s a good honest girl, Nikolay. Unlike her mother.
Or her father. Perhaps
he
was a passing stranger . . . Sometimes I look at her and I can’t believe an old soak with this drunk’s nose on my face could own such a treasure. Drive over and have some intelligent conversation, you’ll enjoy it. She’s a true friend to you.

Pause.

Ivanov
Pasha, my dear chap, leave me alone . . .

Lebedev
Fair enough, quite understand . . .

He hurriedly looks at his watch and kisses Ivanov.

Goodbye, I have to go, they’re consecrating the new school.

He goes towards the door and stops.

She’s so clever. Yesterday we were talking and she came out with a gem: ‘Daddy dear – they say glow-worms shine in the dark so the night-birds can see to eat them. Well, good people exist for the same reason, to be easy meat for gossip and slander.’ What do you think of that? Another George Sand!

Ivanov
Pasha! (
Stops him.
)
What’s wrong with me?

Lebedev
That’s what I’ve been wanting to ask you, but frankly I was too embarrassed. I wish I knew, old chap! On one hand it looks as if it’s just bad luck getting the better of you. On the other hand you don’t seem to be the sort to lie down under your troubles. So I don’t think it’s that, but I don’t know what it can be exactly.

Ivanov
I don’t know either. Sometimes I think –

Pause.

Well, what I was going to say was . . . I used to have a workman called Semyon, you remember him – well, at threshing time once, to show how strong he was, to
impress the girls, he hoisted two sacks of rye on his back and something gave way inside. He died not long after. That’s what it feels like with me. First there was school, then university, then farming, then starting up the village school and all sorts of projects . . . I had different ideas from other people, didn’t marry the usual kind of girl, got carried away by things, took risks, threw my money away, as you well know . . . I’ve had more good times and bad times than any man in the district. These were my sacks of rye, Pasha. I hoisted them up and something gave way inside. When we’re twenty there’s nothing we can’t take on, we’re all heroes, and at forty we’ve had it, no good for anything. What’s the reason for this utter weariness? Well, anyway, that’s probably not what it was at all. Go on now, Pasha – goodbye and God be with you, I didn’t mean to bore you.

Lebedev
(
eagerly
)
Do you know what I think? You need a change of scenery.

Ivanov
That’s silly, and not very original. Off you go!

Lebedev
Yes, that was really silly. Very, very silly, I can see that. I’m off – I’m going . . .

Lebedev leaves.

Ivanov
(
aside
)
Well, what a miserable, pathetic, contemptible creature I am! Only somebody as sozzled and played out as Pasha could have any respect left for me. Oh God, how I despise myself! I hate the sound of my voice, my footsteps, hate my hands, these clothes, my very thoughts . . . It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? – It’s infuriating. Hardly a year ago I was a fit man, cheerful, always on the go . . . I was good with my hands, I could talk to bring tears to the eyes, even of some loutish peasant. I could weep myself when I saw suffering – and get angry when I saw wickedness. I knew inspiration, knew the charm and poetry of quiet nights when I’d work at my
desk till dawn, or let my mind go wandering. I had faith, I looked at the future as trustfully as I’d look into my mother’s eyes . . . and now, oh God, I’m so tired, I believe in nothing, idling away the nights. My brain, my hands, my feet won’t do what I tell them. The estate is going to ruin, the woods fall to the axe. (
Weeps.
)
My land looks back at me like an abandoned child. I’m not hoping for anything, I’m not sorry for anything, and I dread every new day. And then there’s Anna. I’ve watched her fading away, worn away by her feelings of guilt, and still – God knows – never a glance or a word of reproach! And now I’ve fallen out of love. How? Why? What for? I just don’t understand it. And here she is, dying in pain, and here am I, running away from her pale face, her sunken chest, her pleading eyes, like a complete coward. It’s beyond shame.

Pause.

And now Sasha – a mere child . . . feeling sorry for me and thinking she’s in love with me – and suddenly I’m intoxicated, I forget everything, like someone carried away by a piece of Beethoven or something, shouting about happiness and a new life, and next moment I have about as much belief in this happy new life as I have in fairies. What is wrong with me?! What is this edge I’m pushing myself over? Why am I so helpless? What’s happening to my nerves? If my sick wife says a word out of place, or a servant annoys me, or a book goes missing, I explode, I’m horrible to everyone, I don’t recognise myself any more.

Pause.

I simply don’t know what’s going on with me. I might just as well put a bullet in my head!

Lvov enters.

Lvov
We have to have a few words, Nikolay Alekseevich!

Ivanov
If we’re going to have to have a few words every time we meet, it’ll be more than flesh and blood can stand.

Lvov
Will you listen to me?

Ivanov
I
listen to you every day, and so far I haven’t understood a thing. What exactly do you want from me?

Lvov
I always express myself precisely and clearly. Only someone whose heart is closed could fail to understand me.

Ivanov
I
understand that my wife hasn’t got long to live. I understand that I am irredeemably guilty. I understand that you are an honest, upright fellow. What else do you want to tell me?

Lvov
I find human cruelty shocking, you know. The woman is dying, and you openly and for reasons obvious to everybody abandon her every day to go over to those Lebedevs.

Ivanov
As a matter of fact, I haven’t been there for two weeks.

Lvov
(
not listening to him
)
With people like you, one has to speak plainly and get straight to the point, and if you don’t like it, don’t listen. I’m used to calling things by their proper name. You need her to die so that you can move on to fresh conquests. So be it, but can’t you show a little patience? Do you think you’ll lose the Lebedev girl if you let death take its natural course – instead of harrying your wife to the grave with your bare-faced cynicism? You’ll have no trouble turning some young woman’s head for a dowry, so what’s the hurry? Why do you need your wife to die now and not in a month or a year?

Ivanov
This is unbearable. You’re a pretty poor doctor if you think a man can control himself indefinitely – I’m making a huge effort not to give your insults the answer they deserve.

Lvov
Oh, you can drop that pose, Pushkin! I’m not taken in by it.

Ivanov
If you’re so clever, consider for a moment. You think it’s a simple matter to understand me, do you? I married Anna for her money; I didn’t get any of it, so now I’m hastening her death so I can try someone else. Simple! What a simple machine is man. But there’s too many cogs and springs and wheels within wheels for such easy judgements. I don’t understand what’s going on inside you; you don’t understand me, and neither of us understands himself.

Lvov
Do you really think you’re so complicated, and I’m so simple, that I don’t know wickedness when I see it?

Ivanov
It’s a waste of breath. So for the last time, and without going off at a tangent, tell me exactly what you want me to do. What are you driving at? And, incidentally, am I addressing the public prosecutor or my wife’s doctor?

Lvov
I am a doctor, and as a doctor I ask you to amend your behaviour. It’s killing your wife.

Ivanov
But
what
do you wish me to do? If you know something about me that I don’t, just spell it out.

Lvov
At least don’t be so indiscreet about . . . you know who I mean.

Ivanov
(
enlightened
)
God Almighty, do you know what you’re saying? Get out. I’m a sinner a thousand times over, but I’ll answer to God. No one has given you the right to hound me day after day.

Lvov
And who gave you the right to destroy my belief in human nature? Until I met you, I could accept that people can lose their minds and do wicked things when they couldn’t help themselves, but I never knew there were wicked people who could consciously and wilfully commit evil. You’ve poisoned my faith in humanity.

Ivanov
You should see a doctor.

Lvov sees Sasha entering; she is in a riding habit.

Lvov
Really? Well, now I hope we understand each other perfectly!

He shrugs his shoulders and goes out.

Ivanov
(
alarmed
)
Sasha – what are you doing here?

Sasha
Hello. Did you think I wouldn’t come? Why have you kept away all this time?

Ivanov
Sasha, for God’s sake, this is crazy. If my wife knew you were here, it would be the finish of her.

Sasha
She won’t see me. I came in the back way. I’ll only stay a minute. I was worried about you. Are you all right? Why haven’t you come to see us?

Ivanov
My wife is upset with me as it is, she’s almost dead and you show up here! Oh, Sasha, that was thoughtless and selfish.

Sasha
What else could I do? I haven’t seen you for two weeks, and you haven’t answered my letters. I was at my wits’ end. You could have been ill or dead for all I knew. I’ve hardly slept. Well, I’ll go now – just tell me you’re all right.

Ivanov
Well, I’m not, I’m exhausted. People won’t leave me alone. I’m out flat. And now you show up. This is all wrong, it’s not right. Oh, Sasha, I’m to blame for everything!

Sasha
How you love to say all these doomy things. Blame for what? What are you supposed to have done?

Ivanov
I
don’t know, I don’t know . . .

Sasha
That’s no answer. You must know what you feel guilty about. Have you been forging banknotes or what?

Ivanov
Don’t joke.

Sasha
Are you guilty of not loving your wife any more? I don’t see how that’s your fault, you didn’t want to stop loving her. Or do you feel guilty because she saw us when I told you I loved you? – but you didn’t ask for that to happen either.