Ivy in the Shadows (5 page)

When I got home I ran to my bedroom. For the first time I let the feelings that had been tugging at me rise to the top.
Did Ellen think I dressed bad? Was she embarrassed to be seen with me in my regular clothes? What kind of best friend worried about something like that?

I stuffed the jeans and sweater into my dresser drawer. At the bottom of the bag was the Daisy Dog Happy Meal toy. After I closed the drawer, I set Daisy Dog beside my bed because getting it was the only thing about today that had felt good.

*   *   *

Mama sent us all to bed early that night because we'd be getting up at seven o'clock to get ready for church. JJ groaned. I suppose Caleb was used to going anyway, being a missionary's kid, so no reaction from him. My eyes bored a hole through Mama, just willing her to ask me what was wrong so I could tell her I was onto the real reason she wanted to go to church. But she didn't. She glanced at the look on my face and just got busy wiping her nail polish off. I finally gave up. What good is staring at someone when they don't even notice?

The next morning I was in the world's worst mood. First of all, it had rained that night and the thunder kept me awake, giving me lots of time to think about Alexa's dang party. Now church. I glanced into Caleb's room on my way downstairs and couldn't believe what I saw. His mattress was on the floor! After JJ, Mama, and I had just about killed ourselves to get that mattress onto the bed frame!

Caleb was sitting on the mattress.

“What is wrong with you?” I yelled at him. He jumped.

“What?”

“This mattress! Do you know how hard it was for us to get it up here for you? What kind of idiot takes his bed apart?”

“Ivy!” Mama called. “Get down here this instant.”

I stomped down the stairs.

“What's all that yelling about?” she asked.

“Caleb! He put his mattress on the floor!”

“Is that all? Maybe he has a bad back. Now hurry and eat your breakfast.”

I followed her into the kitchen. “Don't you think that's a little
odd
, Mama?”

“Well, I don't want to sleep on the floor and maybe you don't, but let's not make a fuss. After all, this is new to him.”

“It's new to us, too, having him here, but we're not acting
odd
, are we?”

“Is ‘odd' the word of the day, Ivy? You've certainly said it enough.”

“I just think
he's
odd. You can't tell me you don't.” I wanted her to say he was. She'd said it to Aunt Maureen on the phone but she'd told me he wasn't. That was a lie. I guess I thought if she said it now, it would make the lie a truth and I would feel better.

Instead she said, “What I think is he's quiet and polite. Those certainly aren't odd things. Well, maybe around here they are.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me to make me laugh. It usually worked but this time I turned away from her. Mama lying stung more than an eye wiggle could fix.

5

JJ escaped to the Little Lambs Sunday school class with Caleb loping after him.

“Why does he go to Little Lambs?” I asked.

Mama said, “He helps the teacher keep the kids occupied.”

“Well!” I brightened, sensing an opportunity to get out of church. “Then I'll be a helper, too.” I'd have followed Caleb but Mama grabbed on to me and said, “She's got enough help. You're coming with me.” I looked back over my shoulder, jealous as I could be that JJ and Caleb would be having fun and I was stuck indoors.

I sat in church, staring at the back of the head of the old man in front of me. He wore a toupee, which was slightly crooked. I kept wondering if it was going to slide off his head. Looking at that kept me occupied for the five minutes it took for the congregation to sing an off-key hymn. When it was time to “greet your neighbor,” I
accidentally
dropped my hymnal and bulletin so I could pretend I was gathering them until everyone settled back into their seats. Then came the dreaded Sharing Blessings and Concerns.

Mama stood. “I just wanted to tell you all how blessed we are to have you in our lives. Caleb has been a joy to welcome into our home.”

Oh, brother.

“Thanks to your kindnesses, we now have an income and our rent has been reduced. We feel so fortunate, don't we, Ivy?”

I sat still but Mama slid her pointy-toed shoe over and ground it into the top of my toe. I looked around with a grimace of pain that I hoped they took to be a smile and nodded.

“Now if I can only find a job, we might be able to stay in our home and not have to leave the lovely town and good folks of Hickory.”

She sat down and dabbed her eyes.

I spent the rest of worship time playing Hangman with myself using the pencil stub they provide on the backs of the pews. How did I play Hangman with myself? you might ask. Easy. Forget the words and guessing letters part. I just pictured Caleb and drew his stick figure hanging from the rope. I pictured Mama and her pointy-toed shoes and hung her, too. But the biggest one I hung was Jack Henry because, until he left, there wasn't any pretending and stupid every-Sunday-church-going and lying. Well, to be fair, I guess he was lying to Mama, but at least I didn't know about it.

Once they finished the final hymn, a lady wearing about a pound of makeup on her face came over to Mama so I lit out of the building and went to find JJ. I found him outside with the other Little Lambs. The kids sat in a circle while Caleb told them a story. The Sunday school teacher was off to the side on her cell phone. She waved at me but kept talking. I didn't mean to sneak up on them, in fact, I thought I was stomping pretty hard to show the Sunday school teacher what I thought of her being on the phone, but the kids didn't notice me. All eyes were glued to Caleb. So I stopped to listen.

“We tried to set up our tents on the roofs of the buildings but the heat was intense. We could only work a short time before going downstairs to take shelter. We finally stopped until the day cooled. We'd just finished putting together our tent when it began raining. What a panic!” Caleb stood.

“We ran inside. A boy in our group had bought a new tent but hadn't taken it out of the box until we were in Haiti. There were no poles. You can't put up a tent without poles! So he covered his things with the lifeless tent to protect them from the moisture and pulled his mattress into our tent. Now when it rains he brings his mattress into our tent and sleeps on the floor beside us. That's all right. He's a sweet boy and we're happy to have him with us.”

The Sunday school teacher finally clicked her phone shut and came over.

“Thank you for that story, Caleb. Kids, let's tidy up. It's time for your moms and dads.”

“So what happened next?” JJ asked Caleb.

“What happened first is what I want to know,” I said. “That story didn't even make sense. What were you talking about?”

Caleb's glasses had slid down, and he pushed them back on his nose. “It's a story from when my parents were in Haiti.”

I heaved a sigh. “It sounds like a
story
all right. Let's get in the car, JJ. Mama will be out soon.”

Caleb and JJ turned toward the car. JJ slid his little hand into Caleb's and whispered, “That's why you put your mattress on the floor, wasn't it?”

Before Caleb answered, Mama came out smiling, and I knew the news was good.

*   *   *

“Do you have to go to school to learn to be a waitress, Mama?” JJ asked.

“Oh, no, honey. Goodness. How hard can it be? I'm practically being a waitress right now,” she said as she set the bowl on the table.

“Caleb, what would you like to drink?” she asked. “And you, JJ? Ivy? See, I'm already doing it.” She poured milk into our glasses. I could have pointed out to her that she hadn't waited for our orders, but I kept my mouth shut.

“Will we get to come and see you waitress?” JJ wiped a milk mustache off his upper lip.

“I don't see why not. My family gets a discount. As long as y'all behave.” Mama sat down and spooned mashed potatoes onto her plate.

“But if you're there at mealtimes, you won't be here,” JJ said. “Right?”

“Well…” Mama shifted in her chair. “Just on the days I work, honey, and I won't be working seven days a week! If you had to work there seven days a week, then Magdalena wouldn't have been at church today, now, would she? And then she wouldn't have offered me a job waitressing at Dining Divinely. So let's just be grateful and eat, shall we?”

JJ slowly took another sip of milk, but I could see the two tiny lines between his eyebrows, the ones he always got when he was worried. I saw them a lot when Mama and Jack Henry used to fight. I'd take JJ outside to play and feel downright victorious when those lines erased and a smile was back on his little face. But I didn't know what to say now. I was grateful Mama had a job but, like JJ, I wondered what that meant for us. She'd always been here and now she would be at work.

I looked at Caleb and he had his eyes closed. It gave me a chance to look over his face, from his bad haircut to his scrawny neck. Suddenly he opened his eyes and whispered, “Amen.”

“Oh, Caleb, I didn't even think,” Mama said. “You were praying, weren't you?”

“I thanked the Lord for your new job, ma'am,” he said.

“Oh! Well, I am just so touched!” Mama said. “And you know what? You're setting a good example for us all. From now on, kids, we'll say grace when we eat. Caleb, your coming here has just been the best gift to us.”

His face turned red. Mine probably did, too. I wouldn't be surprised if steam shot out my ears. I'd been with Mama since before I was born and she sometimes made me feel as if I were a
gift
she'd like to return. A weirdo gets dropped on her doorstep and her life is complete. I stabbed at the pork chop on my plate, wishing it were Caleb's head.

When dinner was over, the boys ran upstairs while Mama and I cleaned the kitchen.

“I think JJ's worried about who is going to take care of him, Mama,” I said. “I'll be here for him while you're at work.”

Mama came over and squeezed my shoulder. “I was going to ask you to look after him, Ivy. You know, it's funny. Jack Henry and I used to hire twelve-year-old babysitters for you when you were little and never thought a thing about it. Now I need to ask you to watch JJ when you're the same age and it just doesn't feel quite right.”

“Why? Don't you think I'll do as good a job?”

“It's not that. I think it's guilt that I have to leave my child in charge, but I know you have a good head on your shoulders and I really think you'll do just fine. In fact, Pastor Harold asked me the same thing. What would I do with the three of you? Even he agreed that you and Caleb are old enough to be here a few hours without me and you're responsible enough to babysit your brother. Like I said, it's just guilt. I never thought I'd have to leave you two to go to work.”

“Well, things happen.” I didn't know what else to say.

“They sure do,” Mama said.

While I washed the dishes, Mama put away leftovers and called Aunt Maureen to tell her about the job. I could only hear Mama's side of the conversation but I still heard a lot.

“Yes, waitressing!… Come on, how hard can it be?… Yeah, good shoes, definitely. And I can write off my uniforms for taxes.”

Then she got to the stuff I lived for, the stuff she'd never tell me.

“At Dining Divinely. Oh, you remember, I've taken you there but it used to be called Ed's Grill … Ed Norton … You never knew he was married? Oh, girl, do I have a story for you!”

I hurried up and let the soapy water empty down the drain. Waving goodbye to Mama so she'd think she was all alone with Aunt Maureen, I sneaked into the living room and slowly picked up the phone there.

“He made no bones about his gambling. That's why no one would let him near their daughters here! Who wants their girl hitched to a man who squanders all his money? He had no real life at all, just working the Grill and his Tuesday night poker games.”

“Sounds like a real catch,” Aunt Maureen said in that sarcastic way of hers.

“Oh, Ed wasn't all that bad, really. Anyway, he took his first vacation ever and stayed a week at a casino in Reno, Nevada. He came back broke but with a big old smile and a waitress named Magdalena for a wife.”

“She pretty?”

“Oh, fair to middlin'. But she does a lot with what she's got, if you know what I mean. Ed was mighty proud to snag a catch like her. Of course, that was before she changed the name of his business, his gambling ways, and just about everything else about Ed. Folks say there was nothing left for him to do but eat.”

“Sounds like she made him into twice the man he used to be.”

Mama cackled and Aunt Maureen joined in. I wanted to hear more but didn't want to get into trouble for listening so I hung up while they were being so tickled at themselves.

When I walked past Caleb's room on the way to mine, JJ was sitting on the floor beside Caleb, his light brown head bent over a book next to Caleb's darker one. JJ said, “If it rains tonight, I'll put my mattress on the floor, too.” Caleb didn't answer. He just reached around JJ and patted his shoulder.

*   *   *

On Monday morning my eyes flew open before the alarm went off. I must have been really tired because I had fallen asleep the night before with my clothes still on. I grabbed my stuff and ran into the bathroom before the boys woke up. I hadn't had a chance to talk to Mama alone about when she'd start working so I fudged on washing my hair, quickly rinsed off, got dressed, and raced downstairs.

“My! You're up bright and early,” I heard Mama say before I walked into the kitchen.

“Yeah, I—” Before I could say more, I caught sight of Caleb sitting at the table.