Jaci Burton (24 page)

what you said to her. Thank you for that.”

He shrugged. “She’l be fine. She just needs some time to

realize what an asshole he was. It shouldn’t take long for the

hurt to be replaced by some righteous anger.”

Ava nodded. “I just hope he burns for a long time.”

Rick put on his helmet and smiled as he climbed on the

bike. “Oh, he wil . Trust me.”

It was late by the time they made it back to Las Vegas. Rick

drove Ava to her apartment and carried her bag upstairs.

She’d never brought him here. For some reason it felt . . .

strange. She was nervous. What would he think?

She opened the door and he went in, set the bag down on

the floor, and waited while she stepped in and flipped on the

light.

“This is nice.”

Nice
. Wasn’t he just oh so polite? She scanned the room,

trying to see what he saw. Two sofas positioned perfectly in

front of the fireplace. Nothing on the tabletops. Not a speck of

dust. No knickknacks, no art on the white wal s.

Nothing at al to indicate anyone with a personality lived

here.

It was boring. Sterile. Devoid of life. She thought of Rick, of

the color of his life. He might have no wal s and no furniture,

but his life was ful .

“I’m usual y at school. I haven’t real y . . . uh . . . given much

thought to decorating.”

“How long have you lived here?”

“Two years.”

He cocked his head. “There’s nothing of you here, Ava.”

She twisted her fingers together. “Force of habit, I’m afraid.”

“Which means what, exactly?”

“Decorating equals clutter, unless it’s done precisely right

and only my mother has that magic touch. I was never al owed

much in the way of . . . things as a child.”

“Things?”

“Leaving things out. Toys, books . . . anything real y.

Everything had to be put away. God forbid your life and your

interests should be put on display so others could get a

glimpse into who you were.”

Had she just said that out loud? Dear God.

“Sorry. I don’t usual y vomit out such personal information

about my life and my family.”

Rick laughed and took her hand. “I like who you are. I think

you should show yourself off. This isn’t your parents’ place. It’s

yours. Isn’t it time you be yourself?”

“Yes. It is.” And she could already envision splashes of color

—pil ows and fabric and art on the wal s and placemats and

plants and . . . clutter. How she had changed during the short

period she’d hung out with Rick.

He’d been good for her, had drawn her out of her shel , out

of her fears of living life and just existing on the fringes.

“Would you like something to drink? I have soda and bottled

water. No beer or anything. Sorry.”

“Bottled water would be fine.” He shrugged out of his jacket

and laid it on the top of the sofa. “Did you want me to hang this

up?”

She laughed. “No.”

And wasn’t that a first? She didn’t even twitch when she

said it. Maybe there was hope for her after al .

She went into the kitchen and grabbed a couple bottles of

water, then came back and sat on the sofa. He sat next to her

and she handed him a bottle. As they drank, she pondered.

What was going to happen now? To them? She didn’t want

this to be over. Not after realizing how much life he’d brought

to her, how he’d changed everything about her. She was more

relaxed now, less tense, less worried about what other people

thought.

She wanted more of that. She wanted more of him.

She shifted to face him. “What’s going to happen to Bo

now?”

Rick shrugged. “I imagine he’l be brought up on federal

charges and do time.”

“And you aren’t concerned for him.”

“No. He has to face the consequences of his actions.”

“Like you did when you went to prison.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“I feel bad for Lacey, though.”

“Lacey has to grow up, too, and face the consequences of

her actions.”

Harsh words. But Rick was right. Lacey had made the

choice to be with Bo, to do drugs, to let that lifestyle overtake

her. Lacey had been blind to who he real y was. Surely there

had been signs . . .

“Do you think she knew?”

Rick shifted, put his arm over the top of the sofa. “About

what?”

“About Bo using her to run drugs.”

“I doubt it. Or maybe she suspected something and was too

blinded by love to face the truth about him. Or too afraid. I

don’t know. I don’t know much about love and how people

behave when they love someone.”

“You’ve never been in love?”

He smiled. “No. Have you?”

“No. Wel . . .”

“What?”

It occurred to her as soon as he asked her that she wanted

to tel him how she felt. But the thought of putting herself out

there, making herself vulnerable like that, made her stomach

twinge. Should she tel him about these feelings? They were

so new, even to her, she hadn’t wrapped her head around

them yet.

She had to. Because otherwise he was going to walk out of

her life without ever knowing how she felt. That might be how

she was raised—to keep her emotions to herself—but she

wasn’t going to continue to live that way. Besides, he’d come

al the way to Mexico to see her. Surely there was something

between them.

She took a long drink of water and set it down on the table

—without grabbing for a coaster. A monumental start. She

took a deep breath, and let it out.

“I’m in love with you, Rick.”

His eyes widened. “What?”

“I’m in love with you. I want to be with you, to continue this

—whatever it is that we have together—after today. I want to

ride with you for a while and see where it goes. I don’t want to

lose you.”

Oh, shit. Rick was simultaneously fil ed with a stab of

incredible joy and utter panic.

No woman had ever told him that she loved him. Hel , he

couldn’t even remember his parents tel ing him they loved him,

or if they did he’d never believed it. Love had to be expressed

in action, otherwise it was just empty words.

That Ava did was something he hadn’t expected. He had no

idea what she saw in him, but he was damn glad she did. She

was beautiful, smart, and adventurous. The thought of having a

woman like her by his side fil ed him with a warmth he’d never

felt before.

Was that love? Maybe it was. But he had no room for love in

his life. And he sure as hel couldn’t be in love with Ava

Vargas. She was his assignment, not his girlfriend. And he

couldn’t even tel her who he real y was or what he did for a

living.

Fuck. This was bad. Real y bad.

And maybe she real y didn’t love him. She was just leaning

on him because of everything that had gone down with Lacey.

Her best friend had just been shit on by the man she loved.

Wouldn’t it be natural for Ava to see—to want—a different

outcome for herself?

That was probably it. She didn’t want to be screwed over by

a guy like Lacey had. She wasn’t real y in love with him. She

just didn’t want to get dumped.

Ava laughed and grabbed his hand. “Say something, Rick. I

just put my heart in your hands.”

Son of a bitch. His gut twisted because he knew exactly

what he had to do.

He pul ed his hand away and stood, dragging his fingers

through his hair. His heart pounded and his palms began to

sweat. Hel , he’d walked away from plenty of women in his

lifetime. It had always been easy. Why wasn’t this easy?

“Ava, we had a great time together, no doubt about it. But

my life is solitary and I like it that way. I don’t do relationships.”

Her smile died instantly. And a part of him died with it. The

hurt in her eyes was palpable. He felt like someone had just

stabbed him in the heart with a knife.

“Oh.”

“Look, darlin’. I think you’re beautiful, intel igent, sexy, and I

had a great time with you. Let’s just leave it at that.”

She nodded and stood. “Sure. You’re right.” She grabbed

his coat from the other sofa and handed it to him, refusing to

meet his gaze. “You should probably go. It’s getting late and I

have a lot to do tomorrow.”

He felt like an asshole. He
was
an asshole. But if he

lingered any longer, he’d pul her into his arms and kiss those

tears away that trickled down her cheek. He’d tel her that he

was in love with her. He’d tel her who he was. He’d fuck

everything up.

He needed to get out of there and fast.

She opened the door and he stepped outside, turned to

look at her. “I’l see you later.”

She raised her gaze to his, her eyes glittering with tears

and her lips lifting in a tortured smile that wrecked him. “No,

you won’t. Good-bye, Rick.”

I
t took Ava two days before she could leave the house. Two

days of crying, of feeling empty inside. Two days of feeling

stupid, of feeling just like Lacey must have felt.

She’d fal en in love with Rick, and had been blinded to the

reality that he’d felt nothing for her. She’d been fun for sex, and

that was al . And when it was time for him to walk away, he’d

done it so easily.

Oh sure, he’d appeared to be having a difficult time, his

expression pained, his tone one of regret. But he’d stil walked

and done so without thought of hurting her. And right after

she’d declared that she loved him.

How naïve could she be?

Obviously she and her best friend stil had more in common

than she thought.

She’d cal ed Lacey, who’d gone home to her parents. She

said she was resting and trying to get over what Bo had done

to her. She was already involved in a drug and alcohol

rehabilitation program. Other than that, she had no plans

beyond avoiding drugs and alcohol and clearing her head.

Ava promised to go see her as soon as Lacey was up to

visitors.

And as soon as Ava was up to it, too.

Right now her only intent was to head to campus and start

redirecting her focus back on school. It was time to get back

to work. Burying herself in her search for a school for her

Ph.D. would take her mind off Rick, off ridiculous notions of

love and bike riders and living the wild life, which wasn’t her at

al .

Her life was clean tabletops, bare wal s, and buried

emotions. She should have known better.

After showering and packing her laptop, she straightened

up her apartment and was just about to grab her purse and

head out the door when the doorbel rang. She opened it,

shocked to her toes to see her father standing there.

“Dad?”

Her father was stil as imposing as ever, fil ing her doorway

with his frowning persona. Even at sixty, with his ful , thick

head of salt-and-pepper hair, he was stil robust as ever. And

stil as intimidating as he’d always been.

“Ava. May I come in?”

“Of course.” She stepped aside and he moved in, scanning

her apartment as if he were looking for something. Or

someone.

“Would you like some coffee? I don’t have any made, but it

would only take—”

He waved his hand. “No. Not necessary. I just wanted to

check on you, to see if you were al right.”

She cocked a brow. “Of course I’m al right. Why?”

“I got the report about your activities with the Hel raisers.

Have you finished cavorting with this biker gang now?”

Ava inhaled and sighed, then moved away to sit on the

sofa. Her father had always known every move she made,

especially since he took public office. It irritated her, but she

tried to remain oblivious to his interference. He mostly just

kept tabs on her without getting involved. Then again, she

usual y never did anything for him to get involved with. “And

how did you know about that?”

“I’ve known about it for some time now, ever since you

started hanging out with Lacey and that undesirable boyfriend

of hers. Do you have any idea how that would look for me if

you were involved in il egal activities with the Hel raisers?”

How nice of him to look after her welfare. Then again, he

was more on the mark than Ava cared to admit. “Wel , I’m fine.

And I won’t be hanging out with them again.”

“I’m glad to hear that, especial y since you barely escaped

federal drug charges at the Mexican border. Good God, Ava,

what were you thinking?”

The blood in her face drained, leaving her cold. “What did

you say?”

“You heard me.”

“How did you know about that? Did Lacey tel you?”

“I don’t speak to Lacey and you know that. I’ve never thought