Jacinda's Challenge (Imperial 3) (40 page)

"Some might," Peter agreed. "But not me."

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jacinda silently walked beside Jotham as Deffand and the other guards escorted them to the Royal Wing. She and Brett had left the Memory Garden and found Jotham and Peter talking further up the path. After a few words, Peter had taken Brett's hand and led him away. Jotham had taken her arm and done the same.

Now they entered the Royal Wing and the guards fell away except for Deffand.

"Majesty, your request has been taken care of. It will be here by morning."

"Thank you, Deffand. Go get some rest. We are secure here."

"Majesty?"

"The guards have been doubled patrolling the walls and they have been made aware of Jacinda's status. You haven't taken a break since we've arrived. Go. Rest. Or you're no good to me."

"Yes, Majesty." He gave Jotham a stiff bow. "Madame Michelakakis." He gave Jacinda another one, then turning on his heel, he left.

"My status?" Jacinda asked raising her eyebrow.

"That of being a Royal."

"I'm not a Royal, Jotham," she corrected him.

"You are." He ran a light finger over her birthmark, hidden under the bodice of her dress. "Because of this and because you are with me."

"I've had the birthmark my entire life. It means nothing, and Royal companions are never considered Royal."

"You are more than a 'companion,' Jacinda and you know it. I love you."

"I know." She put a gentle hand on his cheek before stepping away. "But that still doesn't change my status, Jotham."

"It does if I say it does."

"Jotham, there are things that even you can't just decree."

"That may be, but when it comes to your protection I can." Jotham held up his hand. "We can argue about what you will accept at home once we return there. But here, you are with me, and you will be protected as a Royal because you are that important to me."

Jacinda opened her mouth to argue, but Jotham put a finger across her lips, silencing her.

"I owe you an apology," he continued.

"You owe me nothing, Jotham."

"I do," he gave her a sad smile. "I have no excuse for why I didn't tell you about the birthmarks except for the fact that I have kept my own counsel for so long that I forget I no longer have to."

"You are the King, Jotham. Of course, you are going to keep your own counsel.

"Did Stephan?"

"That was different."

"How? Stephan did important work. He affected lives. Are you going to tell me he never asked you your opinion? Your counsel?"

Jacinda remained silent, knowing she'd be lying if she denied it.

"You trusted me with your secret, Jacinda." Again, he touched her hidden birthmark. "Yet I've trusted you with none of mine."

"My birthmark has never been an issue before, Jotham. I was eighteen before it ever even appeared. It was so light that I never even worried about someone noticing it. It's only been in the last few cycles that it has darkened to the point that I make an effort to conceal it."

"It's darkening?" Jotham frowned.

"Yes."

Jotham shook his head, it was something to consider but not right now, right now he had more important things to discuss.

"You have always been honest with me, Jacinda. Sometimes brutally so, but I haven't done the same with you. There are things about me you don't know. Things that I've done that I'm not proud of. Lies I have allowed because they benefited me. I would like to tell you about them. If you would allow me to. They might change the way you feel about me and I couldn't fault you if they did. But I want a real relationship with you. One where we share... everything. The triumphs and the defeats, the beautiful and the horrible. I want it all. With you."

"I can't imagine anything you could tell me that would change my feelings for you, Jotham, but I agree, we can't have a real relationship if we're not honest with one another."

Chapter Twenty-Four

"I need to start by telling you about Rani." Jotham looked at her as she sat facing him on the couch he led her to. "I know it was... surprising to many."

"Shocking is more like it." Jacinda wouldn't lie to him, not if they were going to build a relationship. "No one even suspected you were involved."

"That's because we weren't."

"Excuse me?"

"We weren't
involved
. Not in any way, shape, or form."

"But, I don't understand. She had your
son
, Jotham!"

"I know, and I can't explain how it happened." Jotham surged to his feet, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I mean I know 'how' it happened, but I don't 'remember' it happening. I was blind drunk."

"What? You don't remember?"

"No." Jotham took a deep breath and forced himself to reveal to the woman he loved, how he created a child with a woman he barely knew.

"Rani and I had met several times in my office to discuss a program she was trying to start for the orphans of Coalition members."

"There was already a program for that," Jacinda informed him. She had sat on the committee herself.

"Yes, but Rani wanted to expand it."

"I see." But she didn't.

"It started storming during one of our meetings and I couldn't, in good conscience, send her out into it. So I invited her to join me for a last meal."

"I'm sure she jumped all over that." Jacinda couldn't stop herself from spitting out the words. While
she
hadn't personally known Rani before she had conceived Dadrian, her sister
Palma
had and Palma hated her. A telling statement for her normally kind-hearted sister. Rani had been in Lata and Palma's class at the Academy. She had tried to get Palma to change room assignments as soon as they'd arrived at the Academy. Stating that the daughter of an Assemblyman shouldn't be forced to room with a commoner. It didn't matter that Rani’s family could be considered 'common' as her father only
worked
for an Assemblyman, but somewhere in the distant past she claimed a 'Royal' ancestor.

"She accepted and we moved our meeting to my private rooms."

"You took her into your bed chamber?" Jacinda felt slightly sick at the thought that Rani had once been in the same bed she had.

"No! Of course not. We ate in the outer chamber." Jotham forced himself not to pace. He needed to face this. "I really don't remember much after that. I drank so much wine that the next day Chesney had to remind me that I called him from my private office comm to schedule a meeting for the next day."

"Wait! What?" Jacinda's fingers dug into the fabric of the couch. "You left the room?"

"I must have, but I don't remember it. All I remember is waking up on the couch with a terrible headache."

"So why do you believe you drank too much wine?" Jacinda demanded.

"Because the bottle was empty and I had a hangover."

Jacinda's mind was flying. That wasn't like Jotham, not even in those terrible cycles immediately following Lata's death. He
never
over-drank.

"You had the wine tested. Right?" she challenged.

Her words had Jotham frowning at her. "There was no wine to test. I told you. The bottle was empty. Rani told me what happened later. I drank too much wine and things... got out of hand."

"She claimed you attacked her?"

"No. She said it was consensual. I apologized and we both agreed to never discuss it again."

"At least not until Rani ended up pregnant. At least tell me you checked to make sure Dadrian was yours."

"Of course I did! Dadrian was mine."

"Alright."

"Rani was just as upset about it as I was, Jacinda."

"Oh, I'm sure she was." Jacinda's tone was filled with scorn and disbelief. She remembered how smug Rani had been every time Jacinda had seen her after it had been announced. She lost that look when Jotham refused to make her his Queen.

"Why don't you believe she was?" Jotham frowned.

"Because you never drink so much wine that you black out, Jotham. The only possible way that could ever happen is if the wine was drugged."

"What!!?" Jotham's eyes widened at her in shock.

"Think about it, Jotham," she leaned forward on the couch, her elbows resting on her knees as she spoke. "You left Rani alone with the wine, that you remember. You remember nothing after you returned. You woke up with a terrible headache. If I told you that had happened to Will, what would your first reaction be?"

"That he'd been drugged..." Jotham whispered.

"Yes."

"But why? Why would she do it?"

"Because she believed if she were to conceive your child, you would be forced to make her your Queen. Something she'd been promised by..." Jacinda trailed off.

"Finish," Jotham ordered.

"She was promised by your mother that she was
her
choice for your bride since she had a 'royal' ancestor somewhere."

"Rani told you this?"

"Me?" Jacinda scoffed in disbelief. "No. Palma. When she tried to get her to help break the two of you up."

"My mother supported her." Jotham was shocked.

"Especially after you left for the Coalition. Without you there to witness it, Rani upped her attacks on Lata." Jacinda tipped her head slightly to the side. "You never noticed how Rani wasn't allowed in the Palace when Lata was alive?"

"No. I hardly noticed another woman when Lata was alive."

"Good answer." Jacinda gave him an understanding smile.

Jotham finally gave in and started to pace, his mind racing. If Jacinda was right then, he hadn't betrayed his wife, his Queen. He had been drugged, tricked, but the real victim here was Dadrian.

"That explains so much," Jotham said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"All Rani could talk about was how we would raise our 'son' together. How he would change the House of Protection. Once I made it clear that I wouldn't be making her my Queen it all changed."

"I can imagine."

"No, you can't." Jotham looked at her with shuttered eyes. "I didn't want him, Jacinda. If she had informed me sooner, I would have insisted she end the pregnancy."

"Jotham..."

"I know it was wrong, that it went against all I believed in, but Lata was the only woman I wanted having my children. It felt like a betrayal at the most basic level to allow him to be born."

"But the law is the law," she said quietly, her heart breaking for him.

"Yes. She was too far past the time that it would be the taking of an innocent life."

"You made the right choice, Jotham."

"Did I? You don't know my other secret, Jacinda. The one where Dadrian betrayed not only me, not only Barek but every citizen on Carina. He caused thousands of deaths and was never held accountable for it."

"What are you talking about, Jotham? Dadrian fell down the stairs in the Royal Wing of the House of Protection.... Didn't he?"

"Yes, but he fell down them because he was running away. Running away because William and Cassandra discovered he had been trying to assassinate Barek."

"What?" Jacinda's normally golden skin turned a deathly pale. "Jotham..."

"Cassandra discovered what he was trying to do when she was investigating who was responsible for the destruction of Earth."

"Audric," she supplied.

"Yes. She was able to link transmissions Dadrian made to Barek, with those that allowed the Regulians to carry out speed attacks on the Fleet."

"The ones that destroyed the Talon? The ones that for a time we all thought killed Barek?"

"Yes."

"That's why Cassandra was so suspicious when I said I knew when you contacted Lata."

"Yes. Cassandra broke the codes. Barek had just arrived back on planet when Dadrian was confronted with what had been discovered."

"And the codes?"

"Cassandra made sure no one would ever break them again."

"Good."

"That's all you have to say? Good?"

"What did you expect?"

"I expected you to ask why I never informed the Assembly of his betrayal. Why I never admitted to my failure not only as a father but as a King. I expected..."

"Jotham! Stop!" Jacinda surged to her feet grabbing his arm when he would have turned away. "You are not responsible for what Dadrian did. He was a grown man."

"I was his father! Maybe if I had given him more attention...

"I can't tell you if that would have made a difference or not," she told him honestly. "What I can tell you is that you are the same man that raised Barek. They were both given the same opportunities, the same chances. How they chose to use what they were given was up to them."

Jotham's shuttered gaze slowly began to open. "You're not disappointed in me for not reporting to the Assembly as I should have? I had planned to, planned to announce it before Cassandra's Challenge, but Will and Cassandra persuaded me it would harm Barek if I did. Then they destroyed all the evidence linking Dadrian to the attacks."

"Oh Jotham, no! I could never be ashamed of you. I'm just sorry you had to go through all that alone, that you have had to carry the burden of it all these cycles. Will and Cassandra were right, you know. If you had revealed what Dadrian had done..." Jacinda shuddered slightly at the thought. "The Assembly would have lost its faith and trust in you, in Barek, and in the House of Protection. Cassandra might never have been able to take her place as the rightful Queen. Audric would have succeeded in keeping control of the House of Knowledge and Valerian would still be High Admiral. Our world would be a very different place and not one I'm sure I'd want to live in."

Jotham felt his eyes fill with tears and didn't even try to stop them as he lowered his forehead to rest against hers. Her unwavering support moved him. He had worried he would lose her when he revealed not only Dadrian's actions but also his own response to it.

"Ancestors, Jacinda." Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close capturing her lips in a soul-searing kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too." Carefully she wiped away the tracks of his tears then gave him a sexy little smile. "Take me to bed, Jotham."