Jack Hammer (22 page)

“Don’t worry.  Neither am I. It’ll be our little secret.”

“Good because I’d probably lose my man card for this one.”

We both laughed.

“So anyway, are you busy tonight? I know it’s short notice and if you have other plans I totally understand.”

“No,” I was quick to say.
This
was going to happen. “I don’t have any plans.”

He smiled, and I felt my cheeks warm hoping I didn’t sound as desperate as I felt.

“Good. I’ll pick you up at your dorm tonight around six?”

“Six is great, but I’m not in a dorm. I’m staying in an apartment off campus.”

I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down my address for him. His finger brushed mine when I handed it to him and sadly there was no spark. Still, I wasn’t about to let that stop me from going on a date with him.

He looked down at the paper, and then smiled up at me. “Okay. I’ll see you at six.”

“I’ll be ready.”

I spent too long getting ready. I couldn’t decide on what to wear since I had no idea where Charles was taking me. The closer it got to six, the more my stomach twisted and turned. I wasn’t entirely sure it was because I was nervous for my date. I mean, I was, but not in an excited way.

I felt like I was doing something wrong—like I was cheating on a certain someone. I knew I had no reason to feel that way, but I couldn’t help it.  It made me angry that my heart still felt like it belonged to Blaine. Especially when I knew Blaine never wanted my heart to begin with.

Why couldn’t my heart understand that Blaine had left me with no regrets?

He never tried to reach out to me after he left, and I needed him there to take away the pain of everything that was happening.

The knock on the door scared me, and I jumped. A single tear rolled down my cheek and I swiped it away angrily. I hadn’t realized I was crying, but the memories were too much. As badly as I wanted to feel better and be over everything that happened, I wasn’t.

There was another hesitant knock, and I rushed to pull it open. Charles’ cologne moved through the room, and I backed away to get some fresh air.

“Hi,” he said with a sly smile. His eyes moved over my face, and his smile dropped. “Are you okay?”

Crap!

“I’m fine,” I said with cheer I didn’t feel. I plastered on a big, fake smile as I looked him over. “You look nice.”

He was dressed casually in a white, Polo shirt, dark jacket and jeans and that made me feel better about my own outfit.

“You look… amazing.” His brown eyes lit up.

I flushed and looked down at myself. “I forgot to ask what we were doing, so I wasn’t exactly sure how to dress.”

“It’s a surprise, but you’re dressed perfectly for tonight. Are you ready?”

“Yes,” I said as I reached over and snagged my purse from the entrance table.

I shut the door behind me, and we walked together down the hallway. It threw me off guard when he grabbed my hand and his fingers intertwined with mine. I didn’t want to make it awkward by looking at him, but I couldn’t tear my gaze away from our hands.

I took long, deep breaths as we walked toward his car, trying not to hyperventilate.

The ride to where we were going was quiet. Charles held my hand the entire time and I kept wishing he’d let it go. I didn’t want to be rude and pull away, but my hand was starting to feel sweaty. It was gross.

We pulled up to a big, grassy park. There were people as far as the eye could see, and off in the distance there was a large movie screen. I sat and waited as Charles came around to my side of the car and opened the door for me.

I waited by the trunk as he opened it and pulled out a blanket and a basket. Then again, he grabbed my hand and we walked onto the field full of people. Half way to the screen, we found a great spot and Charles set the basket down to spread out the blanket.

“This is amazing,” I said, grabbing one end of the blanket and helping him spread it out.

I was happy we’d found such a great spot because the park was completely full. We sat down, and I looked around as the massive crowd surrounding us. There was a constant stream of chatter and laughter while everyone mingled with their groups.

“Yeah, I love coming to these things. They do them about once a month. I’m surprised you’ve never come out to one of these before.”

“School is crazy. and I try not to fall behind by staying ahead, which means having no social life.”

“Glad I’m not the only one.” He snorted. “Are you not from New York?”

“Nope. I was born and raised in Georgia. Do you need any help?” I asked when he moved the basket in front of him and started to remove food.

“I got it.” He smiled and winked at me.

He looked down before he could see my reaction and I was glad for that. There was Blaine’s kind of winking, and then there was Charles’ kind. There was no competition.

When I realized where my thought process was headed, I shook my head to rid my thoughts.

“Are you from New York?” I asked.

“Yep. My parents live in the city, but they might as well live on campus as much as they come to see me.”

I laughed. “I consider myself lucky that my parents don’t live close to the school. They’d probably live on campus, too.”

“Was Columbia your first choice?”

I nodded. “It was my only choice since I could talk. My father went to Columbia so he was very excited for me to follow in his footsteps.”

“Yeah, gotta love the pressure of following in family footsteps. Both of my parents went to Columbia, so there was no doubt in their minds that I’d go, too.”

“What do your parents do?”

It was nice to know I wasn’t the only one with strict parents, although, it sounded like Charles’ parents might’ve been a level above mine.

“My father’s a broker and my mom’s an art director.”

I heard his response, but it went in one ear and out the other. My lingering eyes landed on the one person I’d hoped I wouldn’t see again. Blaine.

Was New York not big enough for the two of us or something?

My heart sped up, and I silently prayed he wouldn’t see me. He was walking across the park like he owned it. Maddie, his little sister, held his hand and laughed at something he was saying to her. And then he looked up, and his eyes landed on mine.

His expression changed from happiness and into confusion, before his brows pulled down and anger passed over his face. Then him and Maddie changed direction, and I stopped breathing when I realized they were headed our way.

33

BLAINE

EVERYTHING WAS A FUCKING MESS.
EVERYTHING.

I couldn’t think, and every time I could, my thoughts went straight to Chelsey. My bed smelled like her. My car reminded me of her. And even Maddie was asking who she was. She’d somehow pushed herself right back into my life without even trying.

I was even starting to forget all the reasons I was supposed to hate her. I had to constantly close my eyes and replay the most horrific night of my life, just so I could get the hatred to move back in. I needed to hate Chelsey. It was the only thing that kept me going every day.

So for two weeks, I walked around pissed off at the world. I snapped at Grandma a few times and had to apologize, and I’d even made Maddie cry, which made me feel like shit. 

I decided it was better for everyone if I stayed at work and stayed busy. So, when Chris asked me on Friday if I could work some on Saturday, I agreed. I spent the day out in the sun working on some shrubbery around Butler Library, one of the twenty-two libraries on Columbia University campus.

The place was massive, with huge columns and windows tucked behind them. Something about the place reminded me of the Lincoln Memorial in Delaware, minus the big statue of President Lincoln. I’d gone there once with my parents when I was younger, and every time I looked at Butler Library it sent me back to that memory. It was a good memory so that was fine by me.

I knew I’d be tired as hell when I got to the banana later that night, but fuck it. I was always tired anyway. I clipped at the shrubs, making them perfectly square, and wiped at the sweat that formed on my forehead.

Reaching over to grab my water, I saw Chelsey making her way into the library. I debated following her, but decided to keep working. An hour later, she still hadn’t come out. A man only had so much self-control. So knowing it was a bad idea, I left the spot I was working, and went into the library looking for her.

My plan was only to see her and leave. I didn’t plan on actually talking to her, but I did, and once again she made me so angry I felt fire inside. When she mentioned going out on dates I thought my head was going to explode, but I couldn’t let her see that. Instead, I laughed away my anger.

I shouldn’t have been upset with the thought of Chelsey going out with other guys, but I was. Jealousy ripped through me, scarring me inside with just the thought of her being with another man. I wasn’t sure if I was the only guy she’d even slept with, but I liked to think I was. There was no telling what Chelsey had done during the year after I left, but as long as I didn’t know about it, it couldn’t affect me.

I’d know she was dating. I wouldn’t necessarily see it, but I’d know.

After I was done for the day, I went home and showered before heading out on the two-hour drive to The Golden Banana. I wasn’t in the mood to have a bunch of women grabbing all on my shit, but again, bills didn’t pay themselves.

I danced five different sets, and as much as it disgusted me, I fucked Rosie with a Viagra cock until she was screaming and collapsing on the couch. It wasn’t sexual for me at all. I was taking out my anger on her. It was good she just so happened to love rough sex.

Once I was home and in the shower, I couldn’t even get myself off. I went to bed hungry with a painful hard-on and the fucked up desire to cry. Chelsey being in my life again wasn’t good. It brought up memories that were still so raw, painful things I didn’t think I’d ever get over. I needed her to go away, but I still wanted her so badly.

**********

SUNDAY, I DECIDED
I needed a day off. I’d been going non-stop and I could feel myself crashing mentally and physically. Still, I went to the gym and took out my frustrations with a hard workout.

Once I was done at the gym, I went home to shower and get ready for the night I planned for Maddie. It had been so long since I’d taken her anywhere fun. I worked so much that it was easy to forget my little sister didn’t have much of a life outside of Grandma’s house.

I strapped Maddie into the backseat of my car, and we sang along to the radio on the way to a park in the city. Once a month they’d set up a movie screen and play something decent. I figured it would be nice for Maddie to get some fresh air and we could catch a movie at the same time.

I held a basket of sandwiches in one hand, and Maddie’s hand in the other on the way across the park. Every time I looked down, Maddie was smiling up at me. It was a good moment. One I wished my mom and dad could be there for.

Then I looked up, and my eyes clashed with Chelsey’s. The park suddenly felt too small, the basket too heavy. She was looking right at me, and she wasn’t alone.

Ivy League sat across from her, plucking things from a basket and smiling entirely too much. I took in the scene the two of them made together, and decided right away I hated it. He was too stiff for her, too clean. Then again, wasn’t that what she wanted? Wasn’t that what her parents wanted for her?

She looked delicious in a pair of jeans and a light blue sweater. Her hair was down, but I could tell she’d taken her time to put some curls in it. Ivy League reached out and grabbed her hand, and anger spilled into my stomach. She smiled up at him like the sun shined out of his ass and fire licked up my spine.

Fuck no. This wasn’t going down. Not if I had anything to say about. Chelsey hurt me. She’d destroyed me at a time in my life when I needed her the most. She didn’t get to go out and date. She didn’t get to be happy. It wasn’t fucking fair.

My legs were moving, and I was pulling Maddie along with me before I realized what I was doing. Then I was at their side looking down at the two of them. I opened my mouth to speak, but the words got stuck in my throat. Chelsey looked up at me anxiously like she was waiting on me to say something to ruin her date. She had to know I would’ve.

“Blaine,” she said. “How are you doing?”

Her question caught me off guard.

Maddie tugged at my hand, taking my attention away from Chelsey. I looked down into her sweet, blue eyes and I knew I couldn’t make a scene in front of her.

So instead of lashing out the way I wanted to, I turned back to Chelsey and smiled. “I’m good. Just spending some time with Maddie,” I said, swinging Maddie’s arm and making her giggle.

“Well, it’s nice to see you again.” She smiled and then turned her eyes on Maddie. “Hi, Maddie. What a pretty shirt you’re wearing.”

Her smile was stiff and all for show. I could tell by the stiffness in her spine she was still nervous. My eyes moved over her face and took in her anxious expression.

Maddie tugged at her shirt and bashfully hid her face in my leg.

“Blaine, this is Charles,” she said, motioning toward Ivy League. Charles was his name. Like the fucking King of England or some shit. His name was perfect for his stiff ass. He reached out to shake my hand, and I shook it, wishing I could rip it off. “Charles, this is a friend of mine from Georgia, Blaine.”

A
friend
from Georgia. A fucking friend.

I needed to go. I couldn’t stand there and say nothing. Especially when something sarcastic and angry was simmering just beneath my skin. The fact that she’d called me a friend made me want to lose my shit real quick.

“Well, we’ll leave you two lovebirds alone to enjoy your date. How else is Columbia going to get their next generation?” I adjusted the lunch basket in my hand. I needed to go before the anger exploded, but apparently, I didn’t move fast enough. The words flew from my mouth before I could stop them. “Good luck getting a response from this one,
Charles
. She’s a dead lay. Ask any of her
friends
.”

Chelsey’s mouth dropped open and her face turned pale. I didn’t wait around to hear what she had to say. Instead, I tugged Maddie across the park toward my car. The movie and everything I planned was forgotten. I’d take Maddie somewhere else, somewhere away from Chelsey and Ivy League.