JACK KNIFED (25 page)

Not Her Mother

Replacement pulled onto the highway and headed north to Pinkerton. Traffic was light so she could relax behind the wheel. After a few miles, her light drumming on the steering wheel turned into more aggressive strikes.

“Someone put a GPS on your car?” She kept looking straight ahead.

“Maybe it was a crazy old girlfriend. It may have been Gina,” Jack reasoned.

“Shut up. You know that isn’t true.”

Yeah, but I don’t want to worry you.

“You saw how paranoid she was. Would you put that past her?”

Jack had worked hard not to chuckle as he watched her face change expressions, finally settling on what he’d call a disbelieving frown, but he was glad she let it go.

“What’re we going to do about Franklin?” Her voice was light, but her eyebrows scrunched together.

“Kristine is seeing who she knows. If this works out the way I think it will, he doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t matter? One Terry will sue you—the two other Terrys will be out of jobs. Not to mention your job.”

“Don’t sweat it, kid. Seriously, we go to Pinkerton then we go home. Tonight I take you out for dinner so you can wear that pretty dress, okay?”

“Really?” Replacement turned to hug him.

“Drive.” Jack tried to push her back and sit up at the same time.

“Sorry.” She swerved back into her lane.

Jack laughed.

She may get me killed before tomorrow.

His smile faded as he turned to look out the window.

I may get me killed before tomorrow.

Replacement bounced in her seat as she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. Occasionally she’d sing under her breath and wobble her head.

“You like this car?” Jack asked.

“I love it. It’s like me.” She grinned. “Sorry about…your girl?”

“Don’t.” Jack made a face.

“What? I was trying to be nice.”

“It’s okay for a guy to call his car ‘a girl,’ but it’s just weird when you say it.”

“Well, fine. But this is my baby…for now.” She patted the dashboard.

“That’s okay for you to do that?”

“This car is so cute.”

Jack grinned and leaned his head against the window. In less than a minute, he was asleep.

Jack could hear the hum of the engine and feel the tires on the road, but he didn’t open his eyes. He stretched his legs out as he let out an enormous yawn.

“How did you sleep?”

Jack froze. A man’s voice came from the driver’s side of the car. Jack opened one eye to see a man in his thirties driving the car now. He had short brown hair; his skin was a light tan.

Italian?

Jack opened his other eye, only to realize he was in a portly old station wagon.

I’m dreaming?

Jack chanced a look at the man who turned his head to look over at him. He had emerald green eyes. Jack peered into the back seat. Two little boys smiled at him, along with a young woman in her early thirties. She had long hair and a bright smile.

“You’re taking care of Alice?” the man driving asked.

Jack nodded.

“She missed out on a lot.” The man’s smile faded. “You need to do me a favor.”

“What?” Jack turned to look out the windshield, but it was so dark outside now that he couldn’t see anything.

“Let me be her father, okay?”

“I’m not…I wasn’t trying to take your place,” Jack replied.

The man chuckled. “You can’t. I’ll always be her father, so she doesn’t need you to try to be.”

“I didn’t…I just…”

“And you’re not her brother.” One of the boys sat forward.

“We are. Don’t try to be us, either.” The other one held onto the seat.

“I’m not trying to be a brother.”

“Fibber.” They both stuck their tongues out.

“Shh, boys.” The woman gently touched Jack’s shoulder and scooted forward so she slightly leaned over the seat to talk to him.

“Lady, I can say I’m honestly not trying to be her mother.”

She laughed in a way that sounded almost like music. The boys laughed, too, and the man grinned.

“No. Thankfully, you’re not trying to be a mother.” She patted Jack’s arm. “I’m not concerned about what you’re trying to be for Alice, but I’m concerned about what you’re trying so hard not to be.”

Jack shrugged and the boys poked each other.

“Alice doesn’t need a father or brothers; she has them.”

“I just…I want to help her.” Jack looked from face to face. “I’m her friend.”

The man tilted his head and started to say something, but the woman held up her hand.

“That’s a good place to start.” She smiled and kissed his cheek.

Jack’s head bumped against the window, which caused him to sit bolt upright.

“Sorry.” Replacement grimaced.

“Where are we? What time is it?” Jack rubbed his eyes and looked around.

“It’s close to four. The sports store doesn’t close till five. I’ll circle around the block.”

Jack rubbed his face and saw the store up ahead.

“I’ve been asleep for two hours? Have you been just driving around?”

Replacement’s shoulders popped up and down. “You need your sleep, and I love driving this car. My dad used to use that trick to get my brothers to sleep. We’d just drive around, and they’d be out in no time.”

“Thanks,” Jack muttered and ran his fingers through his hair.

He looked all around the car as Replacement parked and then looked back at her. Her expression changed to concern.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

He nodded and then shook his head. “No. It was…” He held up a hand and then quickly got out of the car.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jack shook his head as he started for the store.

“What’re we getting here?” Replacement asked.

“I have a list.” He held the door open for her as they headed into the small store. Jack walked straight to the back counter, toward the small bald guy who waited there. “How are you doing? I’m Jack Stratton, and I called yesterday to have you put some stuff on hold for me.”

“You spoke to the owner. He left me a note. I pulled everything like you asked.” He headed to the side of the counter, picked up an air tank and set it down.

Replacement poked his side and made a face.

I knew I should have told her.

“You have everything, right?”

“Everything except the drysuit.” The man placed another large bag down.

“What? I called specifically about the drysuit.”

“The owner doesn’t know where it is. He looked, but couldn’t find it. He left me a note. I tried to call him, but I couldn’t reach him and it ain’t here. I got you everything else.”

“Everything else doesn’t matter unless I have a drysuit.” Jack’s hand slammed down on the counter, and the guy took a step back. “Damn.”

“You could try Finneran’s Scuba in Yardborough. It’s about four hours up north. I’d call first.”

“I called here first and a lot of good that did me.” Jack growled.

“Scuba? You’re planning on going scuba diving? Where?” Replacement set her hands on her hips.

Jack glared down at her. “Buckmaster.”

“Why do you need a drysuit? Can’t you use a wetsuit?”

“The water is too cold.” Jack drummed his hands on the counter.

“Seriously? For you?” She smirked.

Jack opened his mouth to respond, but the clerk cut him off. “She’s right, you know.”

“What?” Jack leaned closer and stared at him.

“You could use a wetsuit and just duct tape the wrists and openings. You can put some really warm water down the suit, and you should be good to go for twenty or twenty-five minutes. I wouldn’t push it more than that.”

“Twenty-five at a time?”

“Yeah, but make sure you warm up in between.” The clerk vigorously nodded his head.

“What about the regulator?” Jack rubbed his temples. “Do I use a normal one, or…?”

“No. Sorry,” the guy answered sheepishly. “You need to use an ice regulator. We have one.”

Thanks for almost killing me. What else do I not know?

Jack’s hand clenched into a fist, and he looked across the store.

“What’s there to debate?” Replacement threw her hands up. “So the water’s a little cold. I think you can handle that.”

Jack grabbed a roll of duct tape. “Me?” Jack turned back to the clerk. “Do you have a wetsuit in petite?”

The clerk and Replacement both looked at him, confused.

“Kid,” Jack lowered his voice and put his hand on her shoulder, “I didn’t plan on going myself. I need you to go in for me.”

Replacement smiled and then her eyes flew wide open. “Me?” she gasped. “I can’t swim.”

“You just have to hold onto a rope while I lower you into the water.”

“Lower me into the water? Freezing cold water? Are you crazy?” She slammed both hands into his chest, and he burst out laughing. “You big jerk.” She punched him in the arm.

“I’ll take one men’s wetsuit made to fit a big jerk, please.” Jack laughed as he handed the clerk his credit card.

When they got back to the inn, Jack stopped at the door.

“I have to make a phone call. I’ll be up in a minute.” He forced himself to smile.

“I’ll go get ready.” Replacement turned and rushed up the stairs.

Jack dialed.

“This is Jimmy.”

“Hey, Tank. I got it.”

“I’ll be there.”

“You get everything in the email?”

“No problem.”

“I need you to babysit, too.”

Slow

Replacement twirled in front of the mirror, wearing her new fawn-brown dress. She smiled and looked back at Jack. Her eyes grew wide and her lip trembled when he handed her a bouquet of Christmas roses. She hopped forward as she gently took it. As she stared down, she whispered, “Thank you.”

“Ready?”

She nodded.

He held open the door, and they stopped at the top of the stairs.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“No. But I think you’re going to love it.” He smiled.

Replacement turned to go down the stairs, but Jack took her hand and stopped her.

“Did you forget something?”

He grinned as he shook his head. “We’re not going that way. We need to go up.”

“Up?”

Jack took her by the hand and walked across the landing to the small, wooden staircase.

“I thought there were only two stories?” Replacement peered up.

“Close your eyes.” Jack went first and led her by the hand up the staircase.

At the top, he guided her in a few feet and stopped.

“Open your eyes.”

She gasped, and Jack smiled. He’d done the same thing when Kristine had showed him. The glass atrium with the wrought-iron flowers was even more breathtaking surrounded by the night sky.

A small table with a white tablecloth was in the middle, with two chairs. Candles flickered and the light danced on a Christmas rose in a vase next to them. Jack pulled Replacement’s chair out, but she remained standing and staring at the sky.

“This isn’t some trick or something, is it?” she whispered.

“No. Let’s just call it dinner, okay?” He kept his voice low and even.

She nodded and sat down. As Jack took his seat, he heard footsteps on the stairs. Kristine appeared, carrying a tray with two drinks and two salads.

Her long hair was up in a bun, and she bowed slightly as she put down the plates.

“For dinner tonight, you have your choice of roasted pork loin or herb roasted chicken. It will be served with honey butter, mashed potatoes, and a side of buttered corn and sautéed carrots.”

Replacement nodded.

Jack hid his smile by taking a sip of water. “One of each, please.”

Kristine winked and then disappeared down the steps.

Replacement bowed her head. Jack took her hands and whispered, “Open your eyes.”

She looked at him, puzzled.

“Look up.” She did, and he could hear her breathe in. “Keep your eyes open.”

“While we pray?”

Jack grinned. “There’s nothing in the Bible about having to pray with your eyes closed. Just try it.”

He watched her face as she kept closing her eyes and then opening them.

“God, please watch over the people we love. The ones who aren’t here now. Show us what we should do. Thank you for…Alice.”

“In Jesus’s name, Amen,” Replacement finished as she gazed up at the moon for a moment and then across at Jack. “You have been so good to me.”

Jack buttered a slice of bread and handed it to her. “And you to me. I’m sorry about—”

“Shh, nothing but good tonight. Okay?”

“That…might be tough for me.” He rubbed his chin. “It can’t hurt to try. Can you believe this room?”

“It should be in a fairy tale.”

“It is. You didn’t know that you’re in one?” Jack held up his water in salute. “Jack and the Princess. That’s the working title.”

Replacement laughed.

Jack closed his mouth and stared. Between the candles and the stars, little flashes of light reflected off the windows all around them. Jack could feel his chest rising and falling with each breath. Replacement slowly tilted her head and pressed her lips together.

Jack cleared his throat, and they both looked away and began to eat.

“This salad is wonderful. I think Kristine made the dressing.” Replacement broke the silence.

“She made the bread, too.” Jack took a large bite.

“Why did you become a policeman?”

He made a face while he tried to swallow. “I thought we agreed to talk about only happy stuff?”

“Is the reason sad?”

Jack leaned back in his chair. “No. I guess it isn’t sad. I wanted to help people who couldn’t help themselves. I see someone who needs help and I just can’t stand there. I want to stand in the gap, I guess.”

Replacement turned over a tomato. “Is that why you helped me?”

Jack thought for a second and shook his head. “Maybe at first but…then it was because you’re Chandler and Michelle’s sister. When we met, you really drove me…” He started to make a face but caught himself. “Now…it’s just because of you.” He smiled awkwardly and rubbed his napkins between his hands.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.” He folded his napkin on his lap. “Why are you helping me?”

Replacement turned redder than the tomato. “Someone has to.”

Ease back, Jack.

“Can you tell me about your family?”

Replacement almost dropped her fork and swallowed hard.

“I thought that we were going to keep this happy.”

Jack leaned forward and put his arms on the table. “Talking about your family isn’t an unhappy thing. I know you miss them, but maybe talking about them…” He shrugged. “Maybe it will help. Can you try?”

Replacement looked down at her plate.

Jack waited for a few moments. “What would your mom say about this room?”

She closed her eyes and smiled. “She’d have clapped her hands and danced in a circle.”

Jack laughed. “Did she look like you?”

She nodded.

“But she was really beautiful.” Replacement took a sip of water. “She’d have loved it up here. My mom loved the outdoors. Not like camping and all that, but outside. She’d take us on long walks all the time. Even in the snow or rain. It was really cool. I was little, but she’d take me.”

Jack spent the next hour listening to Replacement talk about her family. She described them all and related separate stories she remembered about each one. Kristine silently brought them dinner and then apple cobbler for dessert.

Replacement became very animated at times and slipped into silence, too. During the quiet, Jack waited. They would look up at the stars or out at the forest behind them. At one of these times, Replacement squinted and then inhaled. A smile spread across her face, and she rose and went to the window.

Into the backyard, a family of deer walked into the moonlight. Jack watched her as she raised her hand and put it against the glass. He walked up next to her, and she slid her arm around his waist. They stood and watched the deer as they fed on some berries from one of the bushes.

Replacement’s arm tightened around his waist, and she looked up at him. Jack’s mouth watered, but his hands twitched. He wanted almost nothing more right now than to kiss her. He wanted to pull her into him and let himself go. The only thing he wanted more was for it to be right.

Not tonight. Tonight is her night. If you and she…it needs to be real. It needs to be right.

He could see her lip tremble slightly as she lifted her chin and started to close her eyes. Jack slowly shook his head and smiled.

“Tonight I want it to be about you.”

“I am about you.” She rolled her eyes. “I mean…I… You and me, I…”

“Look at me.” Jack gently put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up. “This is…”

Sweat ran down his back.

What do I say? This is like defusing a bomb? That’s romantic. If we get together, it could blow up in our faces so let’s not go there no matter how bad I want to because I’ll kill myself if I hurt you or let you down.

Jack ran his thumb along her cheek. “Let’s go real slow and make sure it’s right. Tonight…all of this…I wanted you to have a night that’s about you, but if it becomes about us in some way, then it feels wrong. I’ll feel like I took advantage of you… Does that make sense?”

Replacement’s eyes searched his and then she nodded.

Jack exhaled. “Did you have a nice time?”

Replacement smiled and gave a quick nod.

They turned to look back out the window, and Jack looked at her reflection. Her dress accented the smoothness and color of her skin.

“I almost forgot to say it. You look beautiful.”

She swallowed and stared up at him.

“Slow?” she whispered.

“Slow.”

She pulled him close and rested her head against his chest.