JACK KNIFED (4 page)

They’re All Crazy

Replacement located a store three exits before Hope Falls. The plan was to eat, go to Walmart, and then hit the hotel. They grabbed subs at a little pizza place in the strip mall and ate quickly. Jack liked to be settled; even out in the woods, he liked to make camp first and then get the little stuff done. The problem was they had no gear. He made a mental list of what they needed for an extended stay. It wasn’t a long list. People always overthink what they need, but you can get by with a lot less.

Replacement’s excitement bubbled over, and she bounced off the walls when they walked through the doors of the store. A little old lady with a blue apron and a kindly smile waved as they entered. Jack grabbed a shopping cart. Replacement took a sticker from the greeter and put it on her jacket like a badge of pride.

“Where do we start?” She got up on her tiptoes and looked out across the massive store.

“I’ll grab some stuff and meet you in the women’s department.” Jack snatched another cart.

Replacement pouted. “Can’t we shop together?”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I hate shopping. Let’s do this fast.”

“Why is that?” She shook her head. “Boys hate shopping.”

Jack quickly pushed his cart away and headed to sporting goods first, where he grabbed a duffle bag. In menswear, he grabbed three shirts and a pair of jeans. He had the khakis he was wearing for another pair of pants. He didn’t need shoes, but he grabbed socks, underwear, and sweats before he headed to meet Replacement.

She was already walking toward him and grinned as if she had hit the lottery. She held up a tan shirt and a pair of jeans. “Is this okay? They’re new.”

“Of course they’re new!”

She looked hurt.

Jack’s shoulders lowered.
You’re a jackass, Jack. She’s used to Salvation Army and secondhand. To her this is a big step up. Look at her. She’s like a little kid at Christmas

“I’m sorry. Yeah, that’s great, but you’ll need more. Come on.” Jack headed back to the women’s department.

“I got my outfit,” she protested. “Don’t you like it?”

“I do, but we may be there for a while, though. You need at least five outfits.”

“Five! Different ones? I can’t afford—”

“This is my outing. I got it covered, okay?”

Jack stopped to look at something and she rammed the cart right into the back of his ankle. He was about to let out a string of profanities when a little girl walked around the corner with her mother. He gritted his teeth as his eyes twitched. The girl stuck out her tongue. He made a face back, and the girl ran to catch up with her mother. Jack pushed his cart with one hand and pulled Replacement’s with the other as he limped over to the women’s section.

He gestured outward with both hands. “Go, seriously. You’re helping me out, so I’ve got it. Get some more outfits. Five. You need a big T-shirt and some sweats too.”

“Why?”

“To sleep in.”

She glanced into his cart and saw that he’d grabbed some sweats, too.

“That’s too much,” she protested.

“No, it’s not. Just get them, kid.”

Replacement looked at him with her big green eyes. He could tell that she was deciding whether he was serious. She raised herself up on her toes so she could search his face. He nodded his head, and she danced away. Jack watched her go to all of the clearance sections first but, at one rack, she paused and gazed at a beautiful brown dress with white trim. When she disappeared into the dressing room, he hurried over to the rack with the dress she liked. He stood there blankly, staring at size labels that made no sense to him.

How am I supposed to know her size?

He lifted one dress off, and held it up to himself. A guy walking by smiled. Jack awkwardly put the dress onto his cart. He thought for a minute and then scooped half the dresses off the rack. An older woman in a blue smock quickly came over.

“Can I help you, sir?” She raised an eyebrow as she looked at the pile of brown dresses on Jack’s cart.

Jack looked down at her nametag. “Barbara? Did you see the girl who went in there?” He pointed to the dressing rooms.

“The petite one?”

“Yes. Brown hair. Five foot four. Blue jeans and a light-brown jacket. She weighs approximately—”

“Am I arresting her?” She smiled, and Jack blushed.

“What size do you think she is?” Jack gestured to the pile.

“Oh.” She thought for a moment and pulled out two of the dresses. “Have her try these on. One of them should fit.”

Jack smiled and ran back to the dressing room. Replacement came out with four new outfits.

“I said five.” Jack frowned but kept the dresses behind his back.

“How many outfits are you buying?” She tried to peek around him to see in his cart.

“I’m a guy. Here.” He held out the two dresses.

Replacement looked down at the dresses and froze.

Jack smiled.

She blinked a few times, looked up at Jack, and then burst into tears. It wasn’t a little cry but a full-blown wail. She turned and dashed back into the dressing room, sobbing. Jack stood there with the dresses still in his arms. He looked helplessly at Barbara.

“Why don’t you do some more shopping and let me handle this?” She patted his arm and picked up the dresses.

Jack nodded his head, turned, and walked in a random direction. He was already getting looks from various shoppers who were rubbernecking, trying to find the source of the noise.

What the hell was that? The dress looked good.

Everyone was still looking at him, so he headed over to electronics. He could still see the women’s dressing rooms from there. Using a rack of DVDs for cover, he pretended to look at them until he saw Barbara reappear and glance around. He hurried over to her.

She gave him a grandmotherly smile. “Everything’s fine. She’s just not used to someone being so nice to her. She told me how you’ve taken her in and all that you’ve done for her already. I think it’s the kindest thing that you’re getting another apartment so she can have a room and a bed. And now you’ve done this. She’s very touched.”

“She’s very touched all right, mentally,” Jack muttered as he looked around.

Barbara frowned and lowered her gaze.

“Sorry,” Jack apologized. He looked away and noticed a display of shoes. “Do you think she needs shoes to go with that dress?”

The elderly woman’s eyes filled with tears, and she suddenly hugged Jack.

“You’re the most thoughtful man.”

They’re all crazy.

Jack awkwardly kept his hand out as Barbara hugged him. She turned, grabbed two different pairs of tan shoes, and disappeared into the dressing room. He crept forward and tried to listen. After a few seconds, Replacement started to cry again, and Jack’s shoulders slumped.

“Why is she so moody?”

Jack turned to look at the old man who’d spoken.

“What?” Jack asked.

“Is she pregnant?” the old man continued.

“Who?”

“Your wife?”

“No. She’s not my wife.” Jack shook his head.

“Girlfriend?”

“Yeah. No. She’s a girl…and my friend but…she’s not my girlfriend.”

“That explains it.” The man nodded wisely, as if he had solved a great riddle, and just walked away.

Jack rolled his eyes as he looked toward the exit and hoped this shopping trip would end soon.

And women wonder why men don’t like shopping.

Barbara came out and stood next to him. After a few seconds, she cleared her throat and the dressing room door opened. Jack’s jaw dropped. She was so beautiful it took his breath away. Replacement stood before him and just beamed. Her eyes were wet with tears, but the smile on her face was contagious. Jack knew he grinned like a moron, but he couldn’t stop himself. Barbara nudged him from behind. He stepped forward.

“You look beautiful. Please, please don’t cry anymore.”

“You like it? Are you sure?” She looked down at the dress.

“Yeah…it looks great on you.”

Barbara stepped over. “I’ll have them ring it all up in electronics so you can get right out.” She winked.

“Thanks for your help.”

She nodded.

After they had checked out, he followed behind Replacement as she headed for the car. She varied between walking and skipping through the parking lot. She looked back at Jack and stopped. When he caught up to her, she gave him a quick hug and a gigantic grin.

“Thank you.” Her voice cracked.

“It’s nothing, kid.”

“It is to me.”

Hope Falls

The Hope Falls Inn was a large, old estate home that had been converted into a bed and breakfast. The new paint and manicured lawn showed someone cared very much for it. Jack grabbed the duffle bag, and they started down the walkway.

Three wide steps led up to a wooden front porch with a white swing suspended on an ivory chain. Jack walked through the door and watched as Replacement turned around and took everything in. It was as if they were back in the 1800s. Not as if he was in a museum where nothing could be touched; rather, Jack looked back at the door to make sure he hadn’t stumbled through some time portal.

A middle-aged woman with her brown hair done up in a bun came to the front desk. Adorned in a period-style dress with a high collar, she glided behind the counter. Her eyes widened slightly when they shifted from Replacement to Jack, and he heard her inhale sharply. She only paused for a moment before she tilted her head and gave a slight curtsy.

“Good evening.” Her voice was very polished and smooth. “I’m Ms. Foster, and I welcome you to the Hope Falls Inn.”

Jack smiled. There was something about the way she looked at him that caused him to stand up a little straighter. “Hello. We have a reservation. Stratton.”

Replacement clasped her hands together and rocked up on her toes. Her whole body seemed to vibrate as she grinned.

“Of course, Mr. Stratton. Room 102. It’s at the top of the stairs and to the right.” She smiled and pointed up the stairs.

She runs the place. This inn is hers. She’s the one who cares about the fresh paint and cut lawn.

He noticed her eyes as they swept the room when she walked out of the doorway from behind the main counter. She was constantly checking to see that everything was in order, like an actress walking onto the stage. This stage was hers, and he was the audience.

“The kitchen is closed, but if you’re hungry I can get you something.”

“No, thank you.” He signed the necessary paperwork, but as he looked up at the woman, he noticed that her demeanor had shifted. Her smile now seemed slightly forced. Jack tossed the key to Replacement, and she dashed up the stairs.

“Breakfast begins at seven.” Her eyes lifted slightly as she stared at Jack. “Will there be anything else, Mr. Stratton?”

“No, thank you.” He grabbed the duffle bag and started to jog up the stairs after Replacement.

Ms. Foster cleared her throat, and Jack stopped. He looked back, puzzled; she glared at his feet, and her lips pressed together.

I’m walking too loud?

“Sorry.” He smiled.

Looks like it will be only one night here.

He slowly walked up to the room and hurried in. It was a medium-sized room with all period furniture. The wallpaper was a bright white with an intricate pattern of green filigree. A large bed with a white comforter and pillows was the predominant feature. Dark ornamental bureaus stood along the wall, and a loveseat sat to the left of the door. He tossed the duffle bag down and then looked around for Replacement. She was gone.

“Hey, kid?” he called out.

She walked out of the bathroom. “You were right. They have toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo.”

“They do that.” Jack tried to smile and not smirk.

Replacement held up a bottle. “But it’s free. It says complimentary.”

Jack was going to explain that it was included in the price of the room but he didn’t have the heart. He flopped down on the bed and groaned.

It’s so soft. What’s this made of? This bed…

He sat bolt upright and stood up.

It’s a king.

He spun around and looked at the enormous bed. “You got a king?” he asked Replacement.

“What?” Replacement came back into the room, examining a wrapped bottle of conditioner.

“You got one, king-sized bed?”

“It’s huge.” She went over and fell down on it with her arms wide.

“No. Nope. Hold on.” Jack turned and walked briskly to the front desk.

Halfway down the stairs, the same woman who had greeted him earlier was giving him a stern look. He slowed down and all but tiptoed the rest of the way. She smiled approvingly.

“Hi. I’m sorry, Ms. Foster, but there was a little mix-up with our room.”

“How so?” Her smile vanished.

“There’s only one bed.”

“All of our rooms feature a full-size Victorian bed. That would be the most historically accurate in keeping with our theme.”

“All of the rooms?”

She nodded.

“Well, did they have a spare bed or a cot back in time?”

“I’m afraid not. There’s a sofa.”

Jack tried to recall the room.

Big canopy bed. Bathroom to the left. Old bureaus.

“I can assure you that there’s a sofa.” She looked as though she was starting to get perturbed.

“Lady, do you have another room?”

“None of our rooms—”

Jack waved his hands to cut her off. “A whole new room. I’ll rent two.”

Her eyebrow rose slightly, and her amber eyes narrowed. “We’re currently at full occupancy.”

He put one hand on the counter and leaned in. “No offense, but is there another hotel in town?”

She smiled pleasantly and shook her head. “The nearest is in Plimpton, and that’s a bit of a drive. I must mention that once you appear for your reservation, there are no refunds.” She pointed to a sign behind the counter written in an old English script: NO REFUNDS.

“Is
that
historically accurate?” Jack leaned on the counter. “The Pilgrims didn’t give refunds?”

Her jaw clenched slightly before she spoke. “The inn is designed to reflect the 1800s…”

“It was just a joke. Lighten up.” Jack scowled, and so did the woman. He turned and started for the stairs. As he stepped loudly onto the first one, he said, “We’ll be checking out in the morning.”

The woman’s eyes gleamed. “You reserved the room for a week.”

Jack took two more steps upstairs and then rushed back down. “Wait a second, are you saying I have to pay for a week of time travel?”

“There are no refunds once you—”

“Seriously? She registered for a week? Now I have to stay here for a week?”

The woman nodded.

Jack held up his hands and walked backward. “Okay. Thanks. Thanks a lot.” He wanted to stomp up the stairs, but he didn’t.

Sleeping on the sofa won’t kill me.

Jack marched back into the room and second-guessed his earlier assessment. The “sofa” was an old loveseat that was four feet long. He sat down on it, and it moved under his weight. The white cushions were only about an inch thick. He rubbed them between his fingers, trying to figure out what they were stuffed with.

Hay?

Replacement stuck her head out of the bathroom and looked sheepishly at him.

“What?” He tried not to sneer.

“Can I take a bath? They have a giant tub. I could swim in it.”

“Sure, kid. Knock yourself out.”

She let out a little squeal and disappeared. After an hour, she came back out, purring like a kitten. He was glad that he’d gotten her a T-shirt and a pair of sweats, but even dressed like that…Jack swallowed hard and tried to keep his focus on her face.

“Smell me! Smell me!” She ran over and thrust her hand under his nose.

Jack was going to protest the odd request, but she smelled like lilies of the valley.

Mrs. Lincoln.

Jack had a teacher in elementary school who wore it. She’d been his first real crush, and even now he could picture the young woman standing before the class.

“It’s nice.” He sighed as the image of his smiling teacher retreated from his mind.

“Feel!” Before he could stop her, she grabbed him and rubbed his hand up and down her arm. Her body was still warm from the bath, and his hand glided over her silky skin. She let go, and Jack caressed her arm with the back of his hand. On the upswing, his fingers paused at the large, open sleeve.

He pulled his hand back. “Okay. Enough touching and smelling. You’re good with both. We better get to bed.”

“I’m on the right.” She giggled, dashed over, and got under the covers. When her head appeared, she snuggled down into the comforter and peered out at Jack. “You’re not going to sleep on that?” She laughed as she noticed his blanket.

Here I’m trying to be nice about her screw-up, and she laughs at me?

“I know you didn’t know better, but you should have gotten two beds.” Jack plunked down on the sofa.

“Why? This one is enormous. You’ll be all the way over there. Two beds wouldn’t even fit in this room.”

“I’m fine. I slept on worse in the Army.”

“But you don’t have to. I don’t mind. I’ve seen you naked.” She snickered.

“We’re not sharing a bed. Go to sleep.”

It was quiet for a couple of minutes and then she said, “Okey-dokey. If you need to, just climb in on the left. I’ll put pillows between us.”

Jack smiled and lay back. He might as well have tried to sleep on a balance beam. The loveseat defeated him after an hour, but there was no way that he was going to get in the bed. He wrapped himself in the blanket and got down on the floor.

Jack rolled over and, as he lay on his back, he could feel his hair billowing in a cold breeze. He couldn’t tell where the wind was coming from, but a draft blew air steadily across the floor. He curled up tighter in the blanket. As the hours ticked by, he realized it wasn’t the floor or the cold that kept him from sleep. He had dealt with far worse.

Twenty years. He’d seen her face a thousand times in his sleep but, before today, it had been twenty years since he’d been in her presence. Was it only this morning that he saw her?

Jack rolled over and kept his eyes open. The nightmares were bad enough before.

What hell will I dream of tonight?