Jacquie D'Alessandro - [Regency Historical 04] (26 page)

“I agree.” Indeed, Victoria was all those things and more. She was rare. Extraordinary. Unlike anyone else. Every day, he learned something new about her, and each new layer he uncovered only served to deepen his love and admiration for her. Bloody hell, he even found her faults endearing. The way she babbled when nervous. Her streak of stubbornness. The way she insisted upon retelling Shakespeare’s darker tales so they had fairy-tale endings. His reminder that the titles were
The
Tragedy
of Hamlet
and
The
Tragedy
of Romeo and Juliet
fell on deaf ears. All the things that made her imperfect that somehow managed to make her seem all the more perfect.

Silence stretched between them, then Father said, “You care for her.”

“We’ve formed a friendship.”

“Your feelings run deeper than mere friendship, Nathan.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I’m not exactly in my dotage, you know. I see the way you look at her.”

Nathan forced a nonchalant shrug. “If my feelings run deeper, I cannot see why that would concern you. I’m more than capable of keeping my own counsel.”

“Which is precisely what concerns me.”

“Why? Do you fear me making a fool of myself?” he asked, unable to disguise the hint of bitterness underlying his words.

“No. I fear you suffering from a broken heart. ’Tis a
pain like no other and a fate I would wish on no man, let alone my son.”

Heavy silence engulfed them for several heartbeats while Nathan fought to hide his surprise at his father’s words. Apparently he wasn’t entirely successful, for Father added softly, “I can see that you think I don’t know what I’m talking about, but I assure you I speak from experience.” He turned and looked briefly toward the gardens then returned his gaze to Nathan. “If you think it didn’t break my heart when your mother died, you are very much mistaken. I loved her deeply. She captivated me from the first moment I saw her.”

A sentiment which, thanks to Victoria, Nathan could well understand. “I’m afraid that when Mother died I was so immersed in my own grief, I gave little thought to your loss. I’m sorry.”

His father nodded. “My point is that a broken heart is a pain like no other. I therefore encourage you to do whatever is necessary so it doesn’t happen to you.”

Confusion assailed Nathan. He’d never shared a conversation even remotely like this with his father, and he was quite frankly at a loss. Finally he said carefully, “Are you suggesting that if there was perhaps a woman I cared for, I should consider confessing my feeling to her?”

“Bloody hell, Nathan, if you danced around it any more you’d be turning pirouettes on the lawn. I’ve reached an age where I’m not so inclined to waste time. I’m suggesting nothing about some hypothetical woman. I’m stating outright that if you care for Lady Victoria you should tell her.”

Nathan’s brows shot upward. “Are you not the same man who only a week ago stated that my brother or Gordon or those two fops in London—or hell, anyone with a
title and an estate—were far more suitable matches for her?”

“Actually, no, I’m
not
the same man I was a week ago.”

“What does that mean?”

“That means that over the past week I’ve come to some important and, quite frankly, unexpected realizations about myself. My life. What I want. For the first time in a long while I feel…invigorated. Rejuvenated.”

And suddenly Nathan realized he’d indeed seen evidence of this over the past week. His father had seemed more relaxed. He’d laughed, smiled, and told amusing stories, and Nathan enjoyed the lessening of unease between them. He’d noticed the changes, but with his attention focused on Victoria, hadn’t dwelled on them. “To what do you attribute this rejuvenation?”

“A great deal of soul searching, which is the result of the friendship I’ve formed with Lady Delia. Having people in the house again made me realize how…lonely I’ve been, and having someone my own age to talk to has been delightful. Lady Delia knows
everyone
, and it turns out we share an enormous number of acquaintances. You know I don’t keep up with the comings and goings of the
ton
, and she’s brought me up to date on the lives of people I haven’t seen or heard from in years. I was shocked to learn of the number of peers I know—men my age or younger—who are in poor health. Or dead.”

Father shook his head. “I have to tell you, it gave me a chilling sense of my own mortality, and made me appreciate what I have, including my health. Life is too precious and far too short to allow opportunities to be missed. Or to allow wrongs to go unrighted.”

He drew a deep breath then continued, “I want this estrangement between us to end, Nathan. I now realize that I
never allowed you to offer an explanation for your actions the night Colin and Gordon were shot. Rather, I fired questions and accusations at you. In my own defense, I can only say that I was shocked—not only by the shooting, but to discover my sons were spies for the Crown. I showed no faith in you, and even though we haven’t always agreed, knowing the sort of man you were, I should have known better than to believe you would act dishonorably.”

Those quietly spoken words hit Nathan hard, and for the first time in three years the hurt and sense of betrayal that had bound his heart loosened. He looked at his father, who regarded him through serious eyes and continued, “I attempted to apologize by letter, but I admit it was a halfhearted effort. So now, even though it’s coming three years after the fact, I wish to offer my heartfelt apology and ask for your forgiveness.” He extended his hand.

A lump lodged in Nathan’s throat and he swallowed to clear it away. Reaching out, he clasped his father’s hand in a firm grip. “I owe you an apology as well, Father, for allowing the gulf between us to grow so wide. I can’t deny it was a crushing blow to realize that my father
and
brother
and
best friend all doubted me. At the time I was bound by an oath of secrecy and couldn’t offer an explanation.”

“I shouldn’t have needed one.”

The admission warmed any remnants of chill Nathan might have harbored. “I fear my pride has kept me from offering an explanation since my return—an error in judgment I’d like to correct if you’d like to listen.”

“I’d like that very much.”

After drawing a bracing breath, Nathan repeated the same story he’d told Victoria, finishing with, “The irony of the entire thing is that I’d intended the jewels to be my last mission—the one that would afford me financial secu
rity. Instead it stripped me of everything I held dear—my reputation, my family, my home.”

“You had no need to go searching for financial security, Nathan. I would have given you whatever amount you needed.”

“Yes, I know. And while I appreciate your generosity, I don’t want things given to me. I prefer to earn them.”

“An aspect of your character I never understood,” Father said, shaking his head. “If there is ever anything you need—”

“I would let you know. Believe me, I’ve no desire to live in poverty, and while I know you think I
do
live in such a state, I assure you I don’t. My home may not be a grand palace, but I live very comfortably. And in spite of the occasional nonmonetary compensation I accept for my services, I am well paid.”

“What will happen if you don’t find the jewels?”

“I’ll have no choice other than to get on with my life. But I’m determined to find them. Three years ago I didn’t stay and fight to clear my name. I won’t give up so easily this time. Someone betrayed the mission, and I want to know who. Someone hurt Victoria, and I want to know who. I want to recover the jewels and turn them over to the Crown so the mark on my reputation is wiped clean.” He clasped his father’s shoulder. “But no matter what happens, knowing that you believe me innocent of wrongdoing means a great deal.”

“Too bad Colin isn’t here for this meeting of the minds,” Father said.

“Yes, it is,” Nathan said thoughtfully.

“My instincts tell me he won’t be away much longer. Most likely his ‘business’ is a curvaceous beauty he’ll soon tire of.”

“Yes, you’re most likely right,” Nathan said. Unfortunately, however, his instincts were telling him something different.

Late that afternoon, after another unsuccessful search of another craggy rock formation, Nathan leaned against the trunk of a stately elm, consulted his grid map and drew an X across another square. Only five more squares remained. Would they need to search all five areas—or would the jewels be found perhaps tomorrow? Or the next day? Even if it proved necessary to search all five squares, he still felt the pressure of time. Once the search was over—either having found the jewels or admitting defeat—his time in Cornwall would draw to a close.

Surely he would hear from Victoria’s father within the next week regarding his letter, hopefully providing additional information that could aid in the search for the jewels. But might Lord Wexhall also ask that his daughter be sent back to London?

No matter how Nathan looked at it, he felt his magical time with Victoria dwindling, like grains of sand trickling inexorably through his fisted hands.

After refolding the map and slipping it into his boot, he looked at Victoria, who crouched two dozen feet away, gathering a small bouquet of purple wildflowers. The sun caught at her hair, coaxing burnished highlights from the silky skeins. Bloody hell, she was so beautiful. And he loved her so much. Wanted her so badly. His father’s advice echoed in his mind, and Nathan realized he was right. He had to tell her how he felt. But how? When?
Wait
, his inner voice cautioned.
Give her more time. ’Tis obvious she cares about you—perhaps she’ll fall in love with you
. A humorless sound escaped him. Or perhaps she’d break his heart.

She stood, then glanced over at him. His desire must have shown in his eyes because an answering heat kindled in her gaze. With a siren’s smile playing about her lips, she slowly walked toward him.

“You’re looking rather pensive,” she said as she approached.

“Just admiring the view.”

Her gaze boldly raked over him, resting pointedly on his groin before returning to meet his again. “Yes, the view is fascinating.”

He swallowed the rueful laugh that rose in his throat at the ease with which she aroused him. She halted two feet from him and extended the bouquet. “For you,” she said.

Touched at the simple gesture, he took the flowers, brushing his fingers against hers as he did. “I’ve never been given flowers before.”

She smiled. “I’ve never given flowers before. I realize they pale in comparison to the magnificent roses you gave me, but—”

“No, they don’t. It’s not the sort of flowers you receive, but who gives them to you that’s important.” He brushed his lips against her soft cheek. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“As it just so happens, I have a present for you as well. I’ll be right back.” He pushed off from the tree and crossed to where Midnight and Honey stood tethered in the shade of a huge weeping willow. After putting his flowers in Midight’s saddlebag, he removed a small leather pouch then returned to Victoria. “For you,” he said, handing her the small gift.

There was no mistaking her surprised pleasure. “What is it?”

“Only one way to find out.”

He watched her pull open the drawstring top of the pouch and spill the contents into her palm. Suddenly, doubts assailed him. What the hell was he doing, giving her something so lacking in monetary value when she was accustomed to and deserved the most expensive, extravagant of jewels? She lifted the slender black velvet cord from which hung a single white glossy seashell.

She studied the shell for several seconds, then said, “I recognize this shell. You found it near the shore the first day you brought me to the beach.” Her gaze shifted from the necklace to him. “The first day you showed me the crystal cave.”

“Yes,” he said, unable to deny his pleased surprise that she remembered. “How did you know?”

Unmistakable tenderness filled her eyes. “Nathan, I’m not likely to ever forget
anything
about that day.” After setting the leather pouch on the ground, she lifted her arms and drew the velvet cord over her head. She then held the delicate shell up to the sun and examined it. “How did you make it so shiny?”

“A dozen coats of clear lacquer. It makes it glossy and strong.” He cleared his throat. “I wanted you to have something by which to remember your time here. I know it isn’t much, but—”

She touched her fingers to his lips, halting his words. “You’re wrong, Nathan. This necklace is…lovely. And thoughtful. In every way. Just like the man who gave it to me. Thank you. I’ll treasure it always.”

Taking her hand, he backed up a few paces, gently tugging her along, until his back rested against the tree trunk. Spreading his legs, he slowly drew her closer until she leaned against his body in the vee of his thighs. “I’m glad you like it,” he said, bending his head to touch his lips to the sensitive rose-scented skin behind her ear.

A delicate shudder ran through her, and her arms stole around his neck. Leaning back in the circle of his arms to look at him, she said, “Speaking of liking something—I think my aunt likes your father.”

“Excellent news, as I think my father likes your aunt.” He trailed his fingers over her petal-soft cheek. “I think his son likes her niece.”

She raised her brows. “Oh? Which son? He has two.”

He knew she was teasing; still, a fissure of jealousy seeped through him. “I meant me.”

“Ah. Likes her, hmmm? Does that mean he wishes to be friends?”

“No.”

“No? Why not?”

“Because friends don’t do this.” He palmed her breasts, teasing her nipples through the fine material of her riding gown. “Nor do they do this.” Leaning forward, he pressed a heated kiss against her neck.

Her head dropped limply back and a pleasure-filled sigh escaped her. She insinuated her hand between them and stroked her palm over his erection, dragging a groan from his throat.

“I suspect friends don’t do that, either?” she asked in a smoky voice.