Jaded (21 page)

“I asked Kowalski for a dupe for our case files since all three murders are connected.”

The bile rose in Jase’s stomach. “I bet Kowalski and the guys at the Twelve are having a boys’ night out with this tape.”

“Look, Jase. This Donny piece of shit knew he was being filmed. I don’t know who commissioned it. Hell, maybe it was Otis, and that’s why Jade killed him.”

“She didn’t kill the prick, although knowing he probably was getting his rocks off to a girl being taken advantage of, he deserved it.”

“The rest of the tape is like what you said, but she is more willing. Looks like she thinks she’s in love. All the time, she’s being taken advantage of.”

“Do we have a last name on Donny?”

“No.”

“I’m going to find out.” Jase strode for the door.

“Don’t do anything rash, man!” Ricco called.

Jase turned and looked at his partner. “Never.” Then walked out the door.

Strangely, as Jade said her final good-byes to the employees at Callahan’s, she felt no sadness. She felt no excitement, either; mostly she felt trepidation. She was giving up so much. But if she stayed, Jase would find out she’d killed her mother, and he’d find out how the colonel used her, and how Donny had disgraced her. She couldn’t bear the shame of it.

It didn’t take Jade long to pack. She only had the clothes she’d recently purchased, and the cosmetics in her bathroom. She looked around the town house. She’d go to the title company tomorrow and put it into her sister’s name. She’d pay the taxes on it for the next four years, as well as the insurance and mortgage. Tina could do what she wanted with it. She’d prepay Tina’s tuition and deposit a lump sum into her sister’s account to cover living expenses. Jade sighed. In the morning, she would call Jack Morton and tell him she was no longer his employee. She took a long hot bath and moved into her sister’s room, since she had yet to redo hers.

Despite the imminent changes in her life, Jade fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. Her last thoughts were of a young girl’s dreams of love with the perfect man…and Jase.

The soft touch of warm skin woke her. Two strong hands running up her waist beneath her baby doll PJs. His scent told her who he was. She arched, her breasts begging for his hands. He did not disappoint. Hot lips pressed to hers and she moaned, reveling in the manliness of him. Her thighs spread of their own accord, only natural with him. He made her feel every bit a woman. How could he not when he was the epitome of all things male?

He slid her panties down her legs. The smooth hardness of his body pressed against hers, and reading her thoughts, he filled her so sublimely she cried out. This was how it was supposed to be. Two bodies, two hearts, two souls united for eternity. The slow rhythmic thrust of his hips against hers, meeting his, in time, in passion, and in a bright newness, love.

“Jase,” she breathed against his cheek.

He smoothed her hair from her face, his fingers tangling in her hair. His lips hovered above hers. She didn’t open her eyes, she just wanted to feel him, imagine his bright blue eyes looking deep into her longingly, lovingly. She bit her bottom lip. Foolish dreams of a foolish girl. She’d been had once, and she swore never again. Not with Jase, not with any man.

“Open your eyes,” he murmured.

She shook her head, her hips slowing. “Don’t be afraid, Jade, I won’t hurt you.”

A hot tear slid down her cheek. He kissed it. Another followed, then another. He kissed them all away, encouraging her with his body to open up to him. Open her heart, her soul. She couldn’t.

“Open your eyes, sweetheart. Look at me.”

A sudden rush of adrenaline infused her, giving her courage. Slowly, her eyelids flickered open and she gasped. Jase’s eyes had morphed to black in the dim light of the room, yet their intensity, their passion, their love? They burned brighter than any torch. He smiled and kissed her nose. “See? No bogeyman.”

She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, drawing him closer. “Jase, don’t leave me tonight.”

“I’ll stay,” he whispered against her ear. And he did.

Jade stretched the next morning, feeling like an overindulged cat. She sprung up in bed when she realized the sheets next to her were cold. Had she dreamt Jase’s tender lovemaking? The slight ache between her thighs told her otherwise, that and the fact that she was bare-ass naked.

She slipped her robe on and hurried downstairs and found Jase at her laptop. He smiled, but there was something behind it. Anger?

“Who is Donny?”

At the sound of the name, Jade felt the room tilt, then right itself.

“I—don’t—”

Jase stood, anger flicking in his eyes. “Stop the bullshit, Jade. Who is the motherfucker?” His shout yanked her back into the here and now.

“How do you know about him?”

“Stop answering my questions with a question and answer me, dammit.”

She pulled the robe tighter around her body as if to shield what had happened to her from Jase. “He—he was a boy I knew.”

“Boy or man?”

“A man.”

“Was Otis Thibodeaux blackmailing you?”

Jade was startled. Did he know the details of her mother’s death? Before she could answer, Jase did for her. “The cops found a video and a picture of your sister in his hotel room. Tell me what the hell is going on so I can help you.”

“You can’t help me.”

Jase stood and strode toward her, but Jade moved backward, putting her hand out to stop him. “Please, Jase, don’t do this. You’ll only make a bad situation worse for me.”

“What did Donny do to you?”

She sucked in a deep breath and held it, wishing she could just evaporate. The last thing she wanted was to relive what had been one of the most shameful moments of her life. Everything that happened in Louisiana was connected, and it was all ugly. Jade let out a long breath. Maybe if she told Jase, he would finally see her for what she really was, and if she couldn’t force him away, the image of what she was might. “If I tell you, will you stop asking me questions about my past?”

He nodded, but only after taking his time.

“I mean it, Jase. No more questions.”

“Tell me.”

She moved over to the coffeepot and poured herself a cup. She took a sip, allowing the hot liquid to soothe her insides. “On my fourteenth birthday, Mama dressed me up in a homemade dress. She told me the colonel—that would be Otis’s daddy—had a big surprise for me. Mama had a drinking problem, but when she was sober she could sew like a fashion designer. She’d been working on my party dress for weeks, wouldn’t let me see it until that night. It was beautiful. Ruby red velvet. She even had a matching pair of shoes to go with it.

“I don’t know how she got them, probably stole them. Like I said, we didn’t have two pennies to rub together. My sister, Crystal, and I could count on one meal a day, two every other day if we were lucky. Mama would go out at night and come back with a bottle and a few dollars, and maybe a burger for us. I stopped asking where she went when I was ten. She just told me to shush and be happy I had food that night. I figured out after that what she was doing.

“I saw the way the respectable ladies in town sneered at my mama, and then at me after I started going up the hill to the colonel’s. So Mama tells me the colonel has a big surprise for me at his house that night. That surprised me because—well, I’d only been up there once, and that was the year before to take his wife, Miss Audrey, who was ailing, some embroidered hankies Mama had made. Mama couldn’t go because she was sleeping off another bender. I remember the colonel looking at me kind of funny, like he was shocked or something. It was after that that Mama started paying closer attention to me, making sure I wasn’t seeing any boys, and god help one if he came around. She scared them off with the shotgun. Didn’t matter it wasn’t loaded, the boys didn’t know that. Pretty soon, Mama had me taking all of the sewing up to the big house. Miss Audrey died that winter, but the colonel wanted his stuff mended by Mama. She even sewed a few of those smoking jackets for him that he liked. She probably got the fabric for my dress from the colonel. Afterwards, she told me it was a gift from him.”

Jade took a breath and a sip of her coffee. She stared at the floor, unable to make eye contact with Jase.

“Before I left for the big house that night, Mama told me to be real nice to the colonel. He was a good man and lonely since Miss Audrey passed away. I was to do whatever he told me, because if I wasn’t nice, then he wouldn’t give Mama business, and with things the way they were in Sykesville, we’d starve for sure. As it was, she told me, he paid the rent on the trailer out of the goodness of his heart. And when Crystal had gotten so sick with her asthma the month before, it was the colonel who’d sent his doctor. Without the colonel’s help, we would starve. Crystal gave me a big wet kiss and hug before I left. She said she loved me and thanked me for being nice to the colonel so he could help us.”

Jade laughed. “Little Crystal was only seven, but she knew who was paying the bills. I walked to the big house and the colonel himself opened the door. He had that look in his eyes again. I was beginning to understand it. It was the same look the boys at school gave me. It was the same look Donny Le Blanc, the town heartthrob, gave me when I went into town.”

Jade’s hand shook as she took another sip of her coffee. Jase remained quiet.

“The colonel told me how much he had loved his wife, and how he regretted never having a daughter. He asked if I would like to be his daughter. Seeing as how I didn’t have a daddy, it seemed like a good idea. He told me as long as I was a good girl, he would make sure Crystal had her medicine and Mama didn’t have to go into town looking for other work. I knew what he meant by ‘other’ work. As the colonel was coming closer to me, Otis came walking in, and asked, ‘So, Daddy, when you gonna let me have a piece of that?’ The colonel slapped him and told him never to speak such gutter talk in front of me again. Otis gave me a look that scared me to death. The colonel patted my hand and brought me over to sit on his lap.”

Jade took a deep breath. “When he put his hand in my lap and pressed against me, I cried out. For an old man he was strong. He pulled me back into his lap and said real close to my ear, ‘Ruby Leigh, you do what I tell you, girl, and no one gets hurt. You go screamin’ off, your mama and sister will starve to death and I’ll call in Sheriff Taylor and tell him you stole my wife’s jewelry.’ I sat back down. My knees were shaking and I started to cry. He tried to soothe me, telling me he would be a good daddy. He made me take off the dress that I hated now, and touch him.”

Jade sniffed back a laugh. “The old fool couldn’t get it up. Then he figured out that if I stood in front of him and touched myself and talked dirty to him he could jerk off. He never did touch me after that. But he liked his dirty talk. I dreaded going up that hill every weekend. But Mama was happy, Crystal was healthy, and I figured so long as he didn’t touch me I was still a good girl.

“Then Donny came to work for the colonel.” She looked at Jase. “What can I say? I was young, looking for someone to love me for me, and he seemed to fit the bill.”

“But he didn’t turn out to be your knight in shining armor, did he?”

She closed her eyes and slowly shook her head. She opened her eyes. “Not even close. He intentionally seduced me. Promised me we would run away and get married, that we could take Crystal with us, that he had saved money working at the general store. He knew what was going on with the colonel, and he didn’t think less of me.”

She laughed again, this time the sound sharp. “He told me how much he respected me for looking out for my family. Then in the barn office, he convinced me to have sex with him.”

“How did you find out about the tape?”

Jade set her cup on the counter and walked to the window and looked out. “I—I…even though I was convinced Donny loved me and I loved him, I felt bad about what we did in the stable. I knew what I’d done was wrong.”

She sucked in a huge breath and slowly exhaled. “When I went up to the big house the next weekend, Otis cornered me. He was furious. Somehow he’d found out about me and Donny. He begged me to kick Donny to the curb and take up with him.” Jade squeezed her eyes shut. Hot tears ran down her cheeks. “Otis was a nasty boy. He—he did things that were perverse. I always steered clear of him. But he was so angry.” She opened her eyes, ignoring the sting of her tears. “I told him to leave me be. I told him Donny and I loved each other and we were running away when I turned sixteen.”

She turned and faced Jase. “He showed me a tape. It was of me and Donny in the stable office. I knew then that Donny had used me, just like the colonel.” Jase stepped toward her. Jade stiffened, his pity too much for her to bear. “Don’t touch me, Jase.”

He stopped in his tracks and dropped his hands to his sides. “I’m so sorry, Jade, I had no idea.”

She shrugged it off. “When I left that day I swore I would do whatever I had to do to get my sister and me out of there. I was too angry at the time to go home. I hated my mother for turning me out. I hated the colonel for being a dirty old man, and I hated Donny for betraying me. But, Jase…” When she looked up at him, her eyes were brimming with tears. “When I came home the next night, Mama acted like nothing had happened. It wasn’t until Crystal came out of her room all smiles and giggles to show me her ruby red velvet dress and to tell me she was going to meet the colonel that I—” Jade coughed back tears. “She told me he wanted to be her daddy like he was my daddy.”

Jade shook, her heart wrenching as she relived the night. “Mama was drunk and forbade me to cross her. She said the colonel had a friend down in New Orleans to look out for Crystal. I knew what that meant.”

Jase had moved to within a foot of her. “Then what happened?”

She raised her teary eyes to the only man with whom she truly felt a connection. And thought about how now it was based on something more than lust, more than passion, something deeper, more profound than the act of making love. But she couldn’t tell him what had happened. He’d hate her, and that she could not stand.