Jaded (24 page)

“Yeah, I see that,” she said, nodding in agreement. “It’s nice, isn’t it? I like having you guys around.”

“Yeah, you’re a really great woman. Like I said, I feel like I know you a lot more than I actually do.” He laughed a little, meeting her gaze for a moment, then looking back at the table. “But, uh, that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I need to tell you something.”

Her curiosity was piqued. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” She pushed a bite of pancake around on her plate, sopping up the extra syrup.

“I know you and Luke are real close. I think that’s great. It’s just uh...” He faltered, and the air between them grew electrified. His nervousness leaped across the table at her. “There’s something you should know about him. It’s not good.”

A hard knot formed in her stomach. She looked up at him slowly. “Okay...”

“He seems like an okay guy, I know. But I’ve been working with him for years now, and I can tell you, he does some shady shit.” He paused, wringing his hands together. “The truth is he and the rest of the guys bet on women. I mean, like whether or not he can get them into bed within a certain amount of time. This has been going on as long as I’ve been working with them. It never fails, I kid you not. Each new project, every night out at the bar, they’re betting him.”

A heavy silence settled between them as the news sank in. Isabella’s mind was blank as she listened. Confusion was the only thing registering deep in her body.

“Like I said, I feel like I know you,” he continued. “Or at least, I feel like I’m part of your life, in some way. I don’t know how that sounds. I just feel like I owe this to you, at least. I’m a nice guy, and I can’t keep quiet anymore. Really.” He bit his lip, inspecting his hands as he pondered something. “The first day of the project here, the guys started a bet with Luke that he could get you into bed within a month.”

Isabella’s head lowered and she pushed away the plate of pancakes, feeling suddenly ill.

“It sounds awful, I know, and it really is. I never do it with them, it’s their thing, and I think it’s disgusting. But you had to know. Luke’s not what you think he is. I can tell you this firsthand. I’ve known the guy for years.”

Isabella’s heart rate skyrocketed in her chest as she mulled over the information. She felt compelled to run away from him, from the pancakes, from everything, but was too horrified to leave.

“I’m not sure what to say...” was all she could muster.

“Maybe you don’t believe me,” he offered. “I mean, I know I’m just some guy that’s working on your house. But like I said, I have sisters, I have a mom, I know what it means to respect a woman. And what he does is totally disrespectful. I really think this. And I had to tell you.”

She looked him hard in the eye, struggling to keep composure even though she could feel her throat tightening and tears forming in her eyes. “But how would you know?”

“I’m sorry?”

“How would you all know if he...
went through
with it? How can you...
tell?”

Mark took a deep breath. “It depends on the situation, I think.” He paused, mouth hanging open as he contemplated something. When he finally spoke, he sounded tentative, like maybe he was already taking back his words. “For you, he agreed to record it.”

“Record it?”

“Yeah, like with a little handheld thing.” He mimicked the size with his fingertips. “So you wouldn’t notice.”

The information slammed between her ribs like a bull in a cage, waiting to go into the arena. “How many women has he done this with?”

Mark looked away from her, cheeks reddening a bit. “You wouldn’t want to know.”

“How many?”

“Too many to count,” he said.

Isabella’s head fell into her hands. The information was sinking in, and she didn’t know what to do or what to say. Her stomach twisted sickeningly; she thought she might puke.

“And how much money was it?”

“What do you mean?”

“How much money was he going to get?”

Mark paused. “Usually the bets are that if Luke wins, each guy pays out. This time, it was one hundred dollars a head.” His lips formed a thin, hard line. “If he did it, he was gonna make a lot of money.”

“Thank you for telling me this,” she whispered, unable to look him in the eye. She was hesitant to even consider what all this meant, what resounding effects this had through the sphere of her recent life.

“I’m sorry, Isabella,” he said. “I think you’re really nice. I just couldn’t let you go on not knowing. I don’t want to make you mad or anything, believe me. I just had to tell you, because I know Luke won’t.”

She stood to leave. “Mark, I appreciate it. Really. You did the right thing.” She was nearing the edge of total collapse and she had to get away from him, to retreat into her own space so she could process the news. “I’m going to go think about this, but really, thank you.”

She exited the kitchen silently and scampered up the ladder faster than ever before, willing the tears away until she reached the privacy of her bedroom.

She’d been a
bet
.

A meaningless bet designed to make Luke a little bit richer, a little more egotistical.

Previous encounters with Luke and the other workers flashed through her mind on high speed, each memory of an interaction with them scorching behind her eyes. Everyone had known... They’d all been dangling that information over her head the entire time. She’d been the butt of an enormous, horrible joke.

Rage screamed through her veins. She wanted to run around the house and cry and shriek and lash out. She wanted to find Luke and punch him in his face, scream at him for duping her into thinking that something had existed between them, that it had been safe for her to open herself up to him.

She buried her face in her comforter and screamed, long and hard. Could it really be true? It seemed too fantastical, too outrageous, but the fact that one of his own workers had approached her, perhaps in an effort to clear his own conscience, spoke volumes against him. If someone was willing to risk his reputation, perhaps his own job, to do the right thing... Isabella had no choice but to believe him, to at least consider his words against what she’d believed to be her reality.

Humiliation lashed at her heart as she thought back on how long it had taken her to open up to Luke, to finally convince herself that it was safe to let go.

And now she saw that it was all in vain.

Luke had been no exception. He was the worst of them all. No wonder she was jaded, with men who stepped all over her heart like that. She grabbed fistfuls of the comforter beneath her, struggling to keep her breath regular though her pounding heart was pushing her to the brink of complete devastation.

With each regulated breath that she forced past her lips, she let the horrible conclusion sink into her: she’d been duped, and love didn’t exist. Not for her, at least.

She hugged her pillow tightly and sobbed. Just when she felt her mind clearing and the tears subsiding, a new wave of humiliation smacked her in the face and she found herself clutching her pillow desperately, wishing for the entire world the bed would swallow her and she could at least suspend this misery.

She knew Luke would return eventually, and that she’d be forced to face him. The thought made her stomach twist violently and her heart seize in her chest. Did she really have the energy to do that? She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she wasn’t moving anytime soon. And when she felt strong enough, she’d run herself to death on the treadmill, until she was so exhausted she wouldn’t be able to think of men again for months. The cycle was beginning again.

***

A few hours later, Isabella still had not stirred from her position on the bed. She’d missed countless phone calls and various cries for her assistance downstairs. The doorbell had even rung once and the workers, probably assuming she was dead, had turned away her visitor.

She might as well be dead. She didn’t ever want to get up. She didn’t ever want to face Luke and the workers again.

She sniffled, reaching for a tissue. Her hunger would drive her downstairs eventually—but not until the workers were long gone. She couldn’t stand the thought of seeing any of them today. The humiliation was like a fire in the pit of her stomach, continuously stoked by her racing mind.

There was a soft knock at her door and she froze.

It was Luke—it had to be. She’d been waiting for him to seek her out when she’d been so visibly absent throughout the day, dreading the moment that he’d come searching. She’d contemplated leaving the house altogether, but the thought of seeing any one of the workers had kept her in her bed.

“Isabella? You in there?” Her stomach turned.

She was silent as she turned her back toward the door and willed Luke to disappear.

“Isabella?”

She heard the door creak open. A fresh wave of tears formed in her eyes. She struggled to keep composure but she knew this was a downhill race.

“Isabella, are you okay?”

She heard him approach and soon she saw him in the corner of her vision, kneeling beside her.

“Oh my god, what’s wrong?” he asked, his hand finding the small of her back.

“Don’t touch me,” she said through gritted teeth.

He retracted his arm quickly and looked as though he’d been slapped. His confusion angered her and several repressed tears leaked out of her eyes.

“Don’t act like you’re confused,” she said, covering her face with her hands.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” he said softly.

Her rage boiled over—she couldn’t pretend like she was going to have a civil conversation about this. “I was a bet!” she hissed. “
A bet
!”

He stared blankly at her. There was no emotion in his eyes, no sign of feeling anywhere in his body. She couldn’t believe she’d been so stupid, so swindled by the promise of love.

“You broke my heart...for
money
!” She sat up and slapped him across the face. The crack of her hand against his skin hung in the air. She stared hard at him through the shimmery veil of tears in her eyes. “It’ll take me years to get over that, to trust anyone again—and you get cash.”

His mouth hung open as he recovered from her slap. “Isabella, listen. I swear I didn’t—”

“What, you swear it wasn’t a bet? I heard, Luke.
Mark told me everything.
I was a bet, and I hope you can take your fucking money and go spend it on something really nice. What did you get? A grand? Two grand? Maybe you can start investing in some form of
conscience
.”

He stared at her and she wanted to slap him again.

“I’m sorry you heard that.”

She sighed hotly. “I’m glad I heard that. It let me know what sort of unimaginable
asshole
I was dealing with.”

His face fell. “Don’t say that.”

“Don’t act like it’s not all true!” She balled her hands into fists and she realized she was shaking, shaking all over. She’d never been this
betrayed
.

“You need to let me explain,” he said, voice cracking. His emotion only fueled her anger and convinced her that everything was an act. She couldn’t trust anything he said or did.

“I don’t fucking
care
what you have to say!” She paused, swallowing back tears.

“This isn’t how things were supposed to go—”

“No, everything just
fell into place
,” she hissed, staring daggers at him. “Just like you predicted. As you can see,
fate
has taken care of me once again.”

Luke hung his head, letting the room grow silent. “Isabella, I know you’re angry, but I really want to explain what happened.”

“How many others were there?” she demanded. “How many other girls have you duped into thinking that you liked them?”

He looked up at her, silent.

“I’m not the first,” she growled, sniffing hard. “You’ve done this many times before. Don’t worry, I already know. I asked Mark.”

He remained silent.

“It’s good to know what kind of person you really are.” She made a disgusted noise and crossed her arms tightly over her chest. She wished she could stand up and leave, but where would she go? Her house was filled with all the workers who
knew
about the bet, who had been watching her this whole time and seeing dollar signs over her head, waiting to see if Big Luke would score with his latest gamble.

“I never meant to hurt you.” He spoke so quietly she could hardly catch the cracks in his voice. He placed his hand on her knee but she slapped it away.

“You can’t place a bet on someone’s heart without knowing that they’re going to be hurt,” she said through gritted teeth. “I can’t even imagine what would compel someone to
bet
on another human being like that!” The tears started flowing again and she cried helplessly into her hands.

Luke reached for her again and she pushed his hand away.

“Get off me! Leave, right now. I can’t stand to look at you anymore.”

He started to protest but Isabella shouted, “Leave! Now!”

He stood up, jaw tense. With a quick, hot breath of air, he left the room.

When he was gone, she collapsed back onto the bed and buried her face into her pillow again.

Luke had been the worst. And the last.

***

Luke closed the door behind him and stared ahead, unsure where to direct his mind first. He had to find Mark, and he had to find something to put his fist into. The two might coincide nicely. He climbed down the ladder to the first floor, each passing second sending his heart rate higher. Was this what an emotional collapse felt like? It was like he’d been drugged for a surgery and was just waking up, disoriented and heavy and completely unable to focus on anything. Seeing Isabella so distraught had affected him in a deep and traumatizing way, shaking him to his core. All sorts of different thoughts were clamoring for space in his throat, but the only one he could force out was, “God
damnit
!” His voice came out gruff and all the workers nearby turned to him, startled. He approached the nearest wall and shoved his fist into it, as hard as he could.