Jaden Baker (6 page)

“I like both.”

“Well pick one. Be honest, which one is better?”

Jaden tried to keep from laughing.

“I don’t know. Why potato salad? Why not regular salad?”

“Sam is bringing her salad. I can’t compete with that. I make lousy noodle salad. It has to be potato.”

“Let’s pick some up at the store and put it on our own bowl,” Derek suggested.

“That’s cheating. You’re suggesting we cheat?”

“Is it a competition or a barbecue? Do wives gossip about salads?”

Jenny grunted. “Some.”

They stopped talking. A decision had been reached? Jaden couldn’t stand the suspense.

“You’re going to a barbecue?” he asked. They would leave him alone in the house? That’s trust.

“
We’re
going to a barbecue. Tonight. Sorry, didn’t we tell you?” Jenny asked, turning to see him.

Jaden swallowed. “Me? I’m going too?”

Derek glanced at him through the rear view mirror. His eyes crinkled into a smile. “Of course. Did you think we’d leave you alone?”

“There are going to be people there?” Jaden asked.

Derek laughed. “Yep, our friends.”

Jaden’s armpits were suddenly sweaty. It was only day seven and they were introducing him to other people? Wasn’t that too soon? What kind of people were these new people? The Kauffmans’ friends were going to examine Jaden with microscopes, talk about him behind his back, maybe influence the Kauffmans in negative ways. He needed more time...

“Are you okay?” Jenny asked him.

“Huh?” Jaden asked, rolling down his window for fresh, albeit it scorching air.

“A couple of other families are going. It’s not a big event. Very small.”

“Uh huh.” He wasn’t sure if it was the hot air or his nerves which made him sweat profusely. It was gross, like living in his own warm swimming pool.

Jenny gave attention to her husband, whose eyes were no longer crinkly. They didn’t speak the rest of the way to the house, and did not stop at the store for potato salad.

As soon as the garage door closed, Jaden got out of the car and went straight upstairs to his bedroom, avoiding eye contact with Jenny and Derek. It was time to strategize for the evening; he required total privacy. The temperature change from the stuffy garage to the artificial cool of the house made him shiver. There was no time for even the smallest distractions, and he launched up the steps two at a time without thinking about it, needing to get into his own space so he could breathe easier. He was about to attend a social event. With people.

It was terribly unfair of the Kauffmans to toss him into a mix of cheery neighbors. He didn’t understand their cultural practices of picking up dog crap in plastic bags, or getting up early in the mornings to read the news. They didn’t even get their news from papers, like normal people.

Totally absorbed in sweat-inducing thoughts, he reached the top landing and strode to his bedroom door without noticing. Automatically, he stretched his hand to grab the knob and open the door—

—but it opened on its own.

Jaden froze. For a moment nothing else happened. The door swung into the room, the knob tapping the wall. One thousand one. One thousand two.

Elephants stampeded in his ears. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure neither of the Kauffmans had seen, and when he realized they were both downstairs, he rushed into his room and went to close the door—

—and it slammed without him touching it.

Oh. Crap.

He shut his eyes and counted to ten. First in English, then in Spanish. But the elephants were still thundering, the sweat still dripping.

Badum-badum-badum-badum-badum-badum.

Relax-relax-relax-relax-relax-relax!

Yanking off all his clothes, Jaden stood naked and waited a few minutes. All was quiet and nothing happened around him.

He swallowed and opened his eyes. Walking steadily to the chest of drawers, he slowed his breathing to normal and tried calming the pounding in his ears. He deliberately reached out for his shirt drawer to pull it open. His fingers clasped the brass handles. He sighed.

Jaden dressed in new dry clothes, pulling tags off a pair of jeans before slipping them on. The jeans were soft and smelled funny, but good. It was a different smell than the inside of the Kauffmans’ car, but of the same ilk. New smell. Fresh smell. It was nice.

Once dressed, he sat down on the end of his bed and searched the room for Bear.

Bear was in the corner where Jaden had tried not sleeping the night before. He grabbed Bear and sat in the same corner, thinking.

It had happened again. He knew it would eventually, but he had tried to prevent it. No matter what he did though, it always happened, whenever he wasn’t concentrating on it not happening. Jaden wasn’t sure what to do about it. Hell, he wasn’t sure what
it
was.
It
wasn’t something he’d discussed with anyone.
It
was never the topic of conversation.

The teddy bear in his hands held no explanation. Bear looked up at Jaden with two marble eyes and gave him no words of great wisdom. Only Bear had been a witness to the strangeness that orbited their lives together. Many times he wished the teddy would offer some kind of reason behind it, but Jaden held no illusions about the stuffed toy. He wasn’t real, just a bear. But holding Bear made him feel better, more relaxed. Jaden hugged Bear to his chest then went to his bed.

Exhaustion hit him like a truck hits a traveling bee. Jaden barely had enough time to lie down before he fell into a deep sleep.

It was bright out when Jaden finally woke. He wiped sweat off his forehead and moved out of a patch of light on his bed. There was a stale taste in his mouth. He brushed his teeth before starting downstairs.

He got halfway down when he heard whispering. He stopped so he could listen more closely to what they said. They spoke in such low tones Jaden couldn’t understand them. He supposed it didn’t matter what he heard, he knew the subject.

Jaden stomped down the rest of the stairs to announce his coming, hopefully to give them enough time to wrap up their last concerns. As he entered the kitchen he saw both reading a magazine. Yeah right. And he thought
he
was bad at camouflage.

“Hey,” Jaden said as he opened the refrigerator to get a soda. He couldn’t be more casual if he tried. “I crashed upstairs. I guess I was totally wiped out. Maybe it’s the heat. So now I have that gross taste in my mouth. Tastes like ass.”

Jenny laughed at this, but there was a strain to it.

“We we’re just talking about you,” Jenny said. Apparently honesty wasn’t a problem in this house. She walked around the kitchen’s island and stood before Jaden, arms crossed. “We thought you might be ready for it, but we don’t want to push you.”

Though he appreciated the sentiment, now it felt like Derek and Jenny thought of him like a delicate flower, not a boy. Sure, he had his issues, but he wanted to keep them to himself. If the Kauffmans were treating him like antique glass, he was playing his cards all wrong. He had to keep his emotions in check. They didn’t need to see his panic. That was his fault.

He immediately regretted his prior hastiness. It was what some would call “flying off the handle,” and whatever “the handle” was, he’d flown off it. If Jaden was going to graft himself into this parallel universe of different mayonnaises and furniture magazines, he couldn’t “wear his heart on his sleeve,” anymore. That expression he did understand.

Though chameleons didn’t change color to match their environment (a common misconception he corrected many times), they were the symbol of adaptability (due to that misconception). He could be a chameleon. He could change his colors to match theirs.

“I’m fine,” Jaden blurted in response to Jenny. “It sounds fun.”

“It’s okay if you need more time to adjust,” Jenny said, and Derek nodded.

“I’m adjusted.” Jaden scrunched his face. “Well, you know what I mean. I can handle a stupid barbecue,” he said. “I’ve been through worse,” he added nonchalantly looking back at them as he took a large gulp of soda and choked.

Derek smiled at his wife. “Told you he’d be fine.”

But when it came to show time, Jaden’s resolve wavered. He stood upstairs in his room, observing the people migrating into the backyard. He had the shutters positioned in such a way that he could see down, but they couldn’t see up. The Kauffmans said three other families were coming. It was a small gathering. All three couples had children Jaden’s age. As girls in pink and two loud boys tore in through the yard, Jaden suspected the Kauffmans real Master Plan: making friends. Great.

The prospect of going downstairs and being introduced as...what? made him nervous. It wasn’t that he worried about being accepted, it was something else. He was completely different from everyone, he wondered why he should even bother with formalities. He had been dropped into a world so contrasting to the one he’d been born into, he felt not like a fish out of water, but of a fish on a plate in a Japanese restaurant. These kids, these suburban babies born into a pampered existence of designer onesies and thousand dollar cribs, were nothing like him. How was he to connect and make new friends?

Would they wonder where he came from? Unlike them, he was not a product of Derek and Jenny’s champagne bubbly honeymoon, brought up under an expensive roof. He had popped up like a dandelion in the cement crack of a sidewalk, background unknown.

He reached out and found Bear and held him to his chest. His presence was comforting, though Bear had few words.

Jenny knocked on Jaden’s door and let herself in.

“Hi,” she said kindly, sitting herself on his bed.

“Hey,” he replied, staring into the backyard below.

“You want to meet everyone?” she asked.

Jaden’s stomach clenched at the thought. Meeting all of them was so permanent. It solidified his role as Substitute Son, and despite what he said to them and himself, Jaden wasn’t ready for the role. He wanted to be, but the idea was too fresh. Descending into the living room of conventional normalcy was like the curtain pulling back. All of these families, they’d go home and talk about him, a subject for dessert and coffee. Jaden Baker, the foster child. Those poor Kauffmans, barren, had to pick up someone’s reject.

“Are you okay?” Jenny asked.

No, not at all. He rest his cheek on the top of Bear’s head and felt a familiar pain in his gut, deep, deep down. But he remembered the rule he’d set himself. Be the fictional chameleon. Adapt to your environment. This was work, but worth it to live here.

“I’m fine,” Jaden said, turning to her. She had the kindest face.

“You want to take your teddy with you?”

Jaden snickered. “No. They’d laugh at me. He can stay here.” Jaden rubbed Bear’s ears, then set him on the bed. He
did
want to take him. It was embarrassing; Bear was his security blanket. He didn’t know anyone at the group home who had a stuffed animal at their side, so he kept Bear a secret.

“How long have you had him?” Jenny asked.

Jaden shrugged. “Always, I guess.” Since he could remember. With Bear on the bed, Jaden’s stomach churned and twisted as the idea of what he was about to do became real.

Without prompting, Jaden took a deep breath and headed for the door, Jenny following. He had to get it over with. Once it was over, it would be done. There was no point in avoiding the barbecue. It’s what people did in the summer. Get used to it.

Boisterous noise came from downstairs. People laughed and talked over each other. The sound was distressing and annoying, but Jaden continued. His mouth was completely dry, but he was determined to do this.

When he reached the last step, Derek spotted him and beckoned him with his whole hand. Jaden hesitated as his eyes traveled the room. Three couples and five other children. Holy shit. There were two boys his age who were, at the moment, having a tug-o-war match. Three girls chased each other. One was dressed in pink and had streamers in her hair.

Jenny placed her hand on Jaden’s shoulder and led him to Derek, as Jaden’s feet had failed him. Derek spoke with a friend, who was shorter and fatter than Derek. He had blonde hair and ruddy cheeks. His red polo shirt was tight across his stomach, which rolled over the waistband of his Dockers.

Jenny passed Jaden to Derek like a baton. Mimicking his wife, Derek placed his hands on Jaden’s shoulders and introduced him. “Ed, this is Jaden. Jaden, this is our friend Ed. He works at the firm with me.”

“Hey little man,” said Ed, sticking out his hand.

Jaden looked at it. If he didn’t shake the hand, he’d be rude. Modern American culture dictated the importance of touching the hand of someone you’ve just met, however counterintuitive it seemed. Why would he want to touch someone he didn’t know? But he was adaptable. He could do this. Just reach out and grab that beefy hand.

He put out his hand and Ed grabbed it in his, shook it strongly, then released. His smile was unwavering. People smiled a lot here.

“Derek was saying you’re a great basketball player,” Ed said.

“He slaughtered me,” Derek replied. “We played a few games of round robin, then some one-on-one matches. He’s going to be a great player in school.”

“My son, Finn, likes to play too.” Ed called for Finn. One of the tug-o-war boys came running, and the other boy followed. Finn resembled his father with his sandy blonde hair (in a horrible bowl shaped cut) and red cheeks, though he had not amassed the weight his father had.