Jahleel (46 page)

All had gone as he’d said. The man taking the fall was picked up with evidence that tied him to my attempted murder—including my ‘engagement ring’. He confessed, and it hit the news with a jaw-dropping twist to the ‘Suicide Day’ story.

Detectives came in earlier that morning to question me. Alina came in an hour before them, sent by Chad to relay word for word the story given to the cops, just so my story would align. I was positive Jahleel would deliver the message to me and not Alina, but it was clear he was avoiding me, distancing himself.

He came to the hospital several times a day, but didn’t see me. This I knew, because whenever I heard his name mentioned through the white noise, my ears would perk up like a damn watchdog.

At this very moment, my auditory nerves were heightened and keened to the left, where Amanda, Amy and Jamie were blabbing about how good of an actor Jahleel was.

“…unbelievable how well he plays the devastated fiancé,” Amy chattered.

“Don’t you mean believable?” Jamie pitched.

“I think he’s in the wrong profession,” Amanda agreed. “I swear he has me so convinced, the only time I’m reminded he’s acting is when the doctors turn their backs and he’s a sweary arsehole doucheshit again.”

“Well, he’s made bread out of stone. God forbid how things would’ve turned out if this was left in Ferbie’s hands.”

They cackled, and, of course, that ticked me off.

“Get out,” I said out loud, speaking for the first time since they’d gathered in like gossipers at a crime scene. “
Everyone
. I need to be alone.”

No one budged, as if what I said no longer mattered.

“Last time you said that,” Amanda whispered, “you were found half-dead in a tub of water.”

Shooting her a glare while tilting my head in Amy and Jamie’s direction—who didn’t know the suicide attempt was a
real
suicide attempt—I gritted out, “I wish the attempt on my life had been successful. At least I’d have privacy in death. A golden casket all to myself? Fuck yeah. Buried six feet under where I can’t be disturbed? Le sigh.”

Blinking rapidly, she turned and started out of the room, tossing over her shoulder, “You’re already disturbed, Kia.”

“I bet a million bucks it was you, you nosy bugger,” I said to her retreating form.

She whirled around, tears filling her eyes. “You’re a pain in my arse, Kia! I don’t know why I…I should have just…” She trailed off, frustratingly flashing away the tears from her eyes. She
never
cried—at least not in front of others.

“Yeah, Manda,” I bit out. “You bloody well should’ve. That’s the
point
.”

Instead of perpetuating the argument, she stormed out of the room, and like the leader she was, when she moved, everyone else followed suit.

Except Lion, who was still planted at the foot of the bed, mumbling into his cellphone while watching me with concern.

“You, too, manager,” I snapped, glowering at him.

Arching a brow, he mumbled for a moment longer into the phone before hanging up. “You don’t get to give me orders, Kia.”

“Out.”

Refusing to acknowledge my request, he slid his cellphone in his pocket, and gripped the steel barring on the hospital bed as though he needed something to hold him up.

I’d never seen him like that before: hurt, confused, helpless.

And for the first time since yesterday, I spared a sliver of thought on the ripple effect my selfish actions might have on the people close to me.

Lion loved me like his own, so of course something like this would leave him gutted. He was probably beating himself up for not paying close enough attention. But then, the few people close to me knew I had issues. And they knew precisely what my issues were. Or
who
my issue was. Lion and Amanda were two people who didn’t even have to question why I did this. They just knew.

“You know,” he said in a low, remorseful voice. “If I’d known things were this dysfunctional between you two, I would’ve opened up my damned mouth and said somethin’ sooner.”

“Oh, spare me,” I said with a quick eye roll. “You knew everything from the very beginning. There’s nothing you could’ve done. He’s the only one with that power.”

Lion dropped his head, and he looked down at his hands still gripping the steel barring. “You right ‘bout me knowin’ everything from the jump. But I kept both your secrets, sat back and watched a fuckin’ train wreck in motion that coulda been stopped if everybody had just kept it one hundred.”

“‘Both’? What are you talking about?”

Letting go of the barring, he ran a hand down his face and sighed. “It’s a long fuckin’ story, Kia. And I have to go before I miss my flight. Tonight’s the Awards, and I’ve gotta be there both for my nominated artistes and to collect
your
awards. You wanna record a ‘thank you’ message from the hospital bed? Fans aren’t too happy about you not performin’ tonight, so a recordin’ would make up for it. I could get—”

“How do you even know if I’m going to win anything?”

A proud grin split across his face instead of the cocky eyebrow lift I usually got whenever I fired ‘how-do-you-know’ questions at him. “Because you’re
you
, Kia. You always win. Not only that, but you’ve been nominated for
eleven
different awards. You have to win at least one.”

Did I always win? Awards? Sure. But the battle of love and obsession? Nope. This hospital bed proved it.

“No,” I replied. “Just speak on my behalf. Say I’m too confused and beside myself or some shite like that.”

“Cool. I should really be stayin’ here with you, but I easily feel confident leavin’ you in
his
hands.”

“Confident?” I squeaked, eyebrows shooting up. “He was mean as shite to me when I regained consciousness. He hates me, Lion.”

Lion waved a dismissive hand. “He’s been mean to everyone. He barked in my face and even chucked me, blamin’ me for lettin’ this happen. He hasn’t spoken to me since. But I let him be angry and allowed him to take over because I know well enough, this is his way of dealin’ with his shit. He’s blamin’ everyone around you, as a matter of fact.”

“Everyone but himself,” I muttered. “The
real
reason.”

“Kia….don’t hesitate to do as he suggests. I’ll approve. He’s a smart dude who never fails. And even if he comes off as an asshole, it’s because he’s…because he means well.”

“Okay,” I agreed. “But only because you, my manager, say I should.”

“Right,
that’s
why,” Lion said, laughing as he walked up to the side of the bed. He leaned over to plant a kiss on my forehead. “The world loves you, Kia. Your friends love you.” He straightened up then stared me in the eyes. “I love you.”

It’s not enough
, I wanted to say.
Because the one person I wanted to love me, didn’t.

Chapter Twenty-Six

E
ven in the dark depths of my sleep, I could smell him, taste his scent on my tongue. I kept my eyes closed, heart thrumming as I held my breath just to hear him breathe. For some reason, I
dreaded
him, having no idea what kind of acerbity I’d wake up to.

Along with the constant beeping of the machine stringing me up, was a scratching sound I’ve become familiar with after spending much time with him: pencil lead on paper.

He was sketching.

Me?

After a good three minutes ticked on, his voice floated over me in warm waves, “I know you’re awake.”

Busted.

On a sigh, I opened my eyes to see him turning the sketch face down on his lap. “How?”

He stood to his feet and dragged his chair closer to the bed so he could take my hand in his, thumb circling in my lifeline. “I can watch your heart, remember?”

Reaching up, he pressed two fingers to the dip at the base of my neck. “Your pulse here started beating an erratic pace the second you woke and figured I was here.”

Like a blushful teenage girl getting high and flustered at the first touch of her crush, I shoved his hand from me. “That’s a little arrogant, don’t you think?”

“I’m only made arrogant by your sloppily concealed reactions towards me,” he said with a small smile. “So, blame yourself.”

I regarded him with a frown. His mood had changed considerably since the last 48hours. Had he decided he no longer hated me?

“When are they going to let me out of this damn place?”

“Tomorrow. Psyche ward, therapy, and all other complications from the failed suicide went away when the ‘attempted homicide’ came into play.”

“Thank you loads for stepping in, JK,” I whispered. “I really appreciate it.”

“Oh yeah, Lydia can’t make it here to see you because she’s on a hospital bed herself…” Pausing, he squeezed my hand. “She’s dying of cancer, Sassy.”

A painful sound escaped me. “Oh my God. And she kept it from me? I have to get out of here and go see her! I can’t…Oh my God. How could I have been so selfish?”

“Shh. Relax. One tragedy at a time, okay? Let’s think about you first. Lydia has a couple more weeks to go.”

“But—”

“Sassy, look at me.” He pushed me back down when I tried to get up. I looked at him. “Calm down. Please. I promise we’ll go see her before she…”

Dies. Before she dies! Lydia…
I took a few calming breaths. He was right, if I was going to see her, I had to look hale and happy. Not like this. “Okay.”

Satisfied with my acquiescence, he kissed the back of my hand. “Timberly…I tried gettin’ hold of her…but nothing. I don’t understand. I’m sure wherever in the world she is, she’d be aware, right?”

Timber was someone I practiced never to worry about. With her touring the depths of the world in strange countries with strange cultures, sometimes we didn’t hear from her for weeks at a time. “She’s probably in some part of the world where dinosaurs and giants still exist and technology is unheard of.”

“You sure?” he asked. “Ferbz seems worried something might have happened to her.”

“Probably,” I mused. “But I’m ninety-nine percent sure she’s safe. I’ll give her another week to call before hitting the panic button.”

He shrugged. “Well, that’s it for your family.”

His fingers flexed over mine, his eyes moving to our hands and staying there, as though he’d suddenly developed a fascination with hands.

As I watched him watch our hands, his tongue made a swift sweep over his bottom lip, and if I perceived accurately, he almost seemed…nervous. A nervous Jahleel? Wow.

“Who found me?”

Gaze shifting to my face, he answered in a voice so quiet, “Me.”

“How?”

“Amanda.” He swallowed hard, as though the memory was too much. “She called me. Crying. Said you’d been strange all week; that she had a feelin’ you were gone. I was confused, not knowing what she meant by that. Until she screamed, ‘I think she’s trying to kill herself, JK. Now.’

“Of course, I told her both of you were sick fucks, and I didn’t have time for your shit and hung up. But even as I said all that, I was already straddling my bike. I got to your house and ran upstairs. You weren’t in your room, but I could hear the shower running. Thinking you were fine as I’d assumed, I was going to leave, but then I noticed water seeping under the bathroom door. I tried the door, but it was locked. I panicked and shouted for your men. We tried kickin’ the door in, but it wouldn’t budge. Thomas went and found an axe. We had to axe the fuckin’ thing open…”

Pausing, he let go of my hand only long enough to rake his fingers shakily through his hair. “You really wanted to die, didn’t you? A chair under the door handle?”

“Yes,” I whispered in reply to his rhetorical question. “Life no longer made sense without you.”

His head dipped low, and he sucked in a sharp breath. “Fuck, Sassy. I don’t know how it’s even possible you’re here—alive. In that big ass tub, your head under water, you were hueless, cold…dead. I still can’t believe it. Not even the doctors—I think it was one of the docs who saw your lifeless body when you first came in who leaked shit news that you’re dead. But I wouldn’t accept that, and insisted they do whatever the fuck they had to do to bring you back, and…here you are. Unfuckingbelievable.”