Jailbird (7 page)

I told myself it was for the best that he
forget I ever existed. It made sense at the time. Now I saw that if
the trial itself hadn’t broken his heart, I surely had in its
aftermath.

The rain hadn’t let up. I was soaked to the
bone and shivering by the time I reached the parking lot I’d
directed him to. I knew even before I saw him that the driver of
the black F-150 was my big brother. I stopped short when I saw it.
My stomach clenched and my heart raced. What if he turned me in, or
worse… turned me away?

However much time had changed me, he must
have recognized me. The door to the truck opened slowly. He got
out, staring at me with his mouth slightly agape. I could almost
see the wheels turning in his mind.

I just stood there, being pelted by the rain
and thinking my brother was the biggest, handsomest man in the
whole world. For the first time since the night Todd Winslow raped
me, tears poured from my eyes. I wished I could read his black eyes
from across the parking lot.

Fear of rejection had held me rooted to my
spot. Now the need to reconnect with Conrad overwhelmed that fear
and I sprinted towards him. He moved towards me at the same time,
his long legs quickly covering the distance between us.

I threw myself at him and he caught me in
mid-air, swinging me around in the kind of hug I used to relish as
a little girl.

“Baby girl,” he finally set me down to look
at me, only to pick me back up in another hug. “Oh baby girl…”

“Conrad, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I never
meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry,” I couldn’t seem to do much
besides chant the same line over and over again. It felt so good to
have his strong arms wrapped around me again.

“Come on, get in the truck. You’re freezing,”
his protective instinct kicked in and he reluctantly set me back
down so we could climb into his truck.

“I’m getting your seat wet,” I frowned. “I’m
sorry.”

“You’ve apologized enough for one day,” he
gave me a sideways glance as he turned the heat on. “Why don’t you
tell me why I attended your funeral last month?”

“Funny story, that…,” I wrapped my arms
around myself and stared at my lap.

“Then I’m sure I’d like to hear it,” he
folded his arms and waited patiently.

“Where would you like me to start?”

“Why don’t you give me the recap starting the
night of your college graduation? I’m curious to know how I wound
up raising a niece with only the instruction to ‘be sure she never
knew who her parents were.’ I tried to see you, to write. Why
wouldn’t you even talk to me? Didn’t you at least want to know how
your daughter was?” The initial joy of knowing I was alive had
obviously given way to righteous anger.

“I thought it was better for both of you if I
was out of the picture,” I wasn’t sure how to make him understand.
“I’ll do my best to explain, but I have to be back in town in an
hour. I don’t want to account for where I’ve been all
afternoon.”

“You’re starting to concern me… maybe you’d
better start talking. And you’re crazy if you think I’m going home
after an hour.”

“But I finally have a chance at a life here.
And I don’t want that to end.…”

“So you aren’t planning on coming home?”

“The reason I have a life is because everyone
thinks I’m dead,” I ran my fingers through my hair.

“Start talking,” he gave me a look that would
make a lesser person tremble. Having gown up with that look, I felt
pretty immune. Well, mostly immune. I did start explaining.

I began with the moment I went against my
better judgment and accepted Todd’s offer of a ride home. I fumbled
my way through the confusion—the terror—of what he’d done to me.
And then that horribly sickening moment when he’d put his hands
around my throat and started to squeeze. It hadn’t been enough,
what he’d done to me. I hadn’t suffered enough. He hated me so much
his eyes glowed with it as he began to squeeze the life out of
me.

My hands had desperately fumbled for
something, anything, to help set me free. My fingers wrapped around
something cool and heavy. I wrenched my body around, using every
ounce of strength I had in me to swing my weapon….

“Turns out it was a tire iron,” I shakily
rubbed my temples. I’d been putting a lot of effort into repressing
that memory for a really long time. Now it was bubbling at the
surface and the emotion threatened to sweep me away.

“Why on earth didn’t you let me help you?” He
asked when he found his voice again.

“Our tribe has fought so hard for recognition
and independence. Todd Winslow was an important man’s son. They
come from money older than time… his dad was the mayor of
Alexandria. They had pull in this state. I wasn’t going to bring
that kind of wrath down on our people.”

“But he was an animal!” Conrad shouted,
instantly looking contrite when I winced. “So… is he Gabrielle’s
father?”

“I prefer to think she doesn’t have a
father,” I whispered. “It’s not her fault. I don’t want her to
know.”

“Okay, so that picture is starting to come
together for me.”

“I can’t thank you enough for taking her in,
no questions asked. I didn’t know who else to ask. Once I found out
I was pregnant, I knew I’d need someone to raise her since they
were never going to let me out of there... it’s almost four. Can
you drop me somewhere?”

“No,” he looked at me like I was crazy.
“There’s still a lot of ground to cover and I have a feeling you
didn’t call me just to catch up on old times. Do you need
help?”

“Yes, but not the kind of help you’re
thinking of,” I frowned at the clock, much like Charlie had
earlier. “Is there some other time we can meet?”

“Oh no you don’t,” he shook his head. “I’m
not going anywhere until I know everything.”

“I’m not ready to introduce you to everyone.
I don’t want to have to explain who you are. I can’t. They think my
name is Neena Allen.”

“Interesting choice,” he smirked. Of course
he recognized our grandmother’s name. The surname I’d chosen was
the name of the parish our reservation was in.

“I was working on the fly.”

“Okay look… I’ll get a room in town. I have a
few errands to run. Go do what you have to then get away. We can
hole up in my hotel room for the evening and we’ll go from
there.”

“What about Gabrielle?” I hesitated.

“She’s with Aunt Ella. She’ll be fine,” he
assured me as he put the truck in gear.

“Fine,” I sighed, giving him directions to
Charlie’s house. Maybe I’d never dream of asking so much from
Conrad, but I was secretly kind of glad he seemed hell bent on
helping me.

“So, whose house is this?” He eyed the house
warily as he pulled in the drive.

“Charlie… he’s my business partner,” I
hedged.

“Business partner?”

“Yeah, we’re making dandelion jelly.”

“Dandelion jelly?”

“Well, he owns the dandelions. I’m making the
jelly.”

“I see.”

“You do not see,” I snapped. “Don’t talk to
me in that tone.”

“Mmm-hmm,” he didn’t sound convinced.

“I’m not discussing this with you right
now.”

“Later.”

“Later. When we get to that part of the
story.”

“Go get changed before you catch your death
of a cold,” he pinched the bridge of his nose as if to stave off a
headache.

“My other outfit isn’t clean,” I blurted out
without thinking. I belatedly realized I shouldn’t have said
anything when I saw the worried look on his face.

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Hey Conrad…”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Alí:la mõ,” I kissed his cheek and hopped
out of the truck into the pouring rain.

“You’re welcome,” I heard him say as I closed
the door. I turned and bounded up the stairs, realizing as I stood
wringing out my dress and hair that Charlie’s car was in its spot
behind the house. I hadn’t seen that from the front.

I muttered a curse under my breath, which I
realized he’d heard when I looked up to see him standing in the
doorway with a wounded look on his face. I let out another curse,
to which he scowled and walked away.

“Charlie,” I followed him in, a trail of
water dripping as I went.

“So what is this, some kind of con?”

“Excuse me?”

“Are you running some kind of con on us? Is
he your boyfriend?”

“No, he’s not my boyfriend,” I snorted in
disgust.

“Nice. Very ladylike.”

“Accusing me of being a con artist isn’t
exactly gentlemanly.”

“Well, what am I supposed to think?” His
voice was nearing a shout.

“He’s not my boyfriend and I’m not conning
you,” my shoulders dropped. He had a point, what was he supposed to
think? “He’s my brother.”

“Right. You’re brother,” this time he
snorted.

“I promised Isabel we’d have dinner with her.
Can we finish this fight later?”

“No need. I think we’re done now.”

“We are not finished here.”

“You can’t force me to fight with you.”

“But I can ask you to listen to me,” I
pointed out.

“Why? So you can lie to me some more?”

“You know… I’ve actually been pretty damned
honest with you.”

“Would you please stop swearing like a
sailor?”

“Well I have… you know what? This is getting
us nowhere. Can we please go to dinner? Then I have one place I
want you to take me. After that, if you still say we’re done, then
we’re done.”

“Fine. Fine... fine.”

“Fine.”

I stormed out the door with him right behind
me. It was a frigid ride to the Torres house. I didn’t stop to
answer Anjelita’s questioning gaze. I was afraid the tears would
burst past the newly opened dam again. Alone in the bathroom, I
splashed some cold water on my face. I stared at my reflection in
the mirror. I already looked more human than I had just the week
before. My face was less sunken, my cheeks less sallow. I looked
almost… soft. Feminine.

I stared at the woman in the mirror and
admitted to myself that I was afraid I’d lose Charlie even before I
had a chance to sort out what I was feeling for him. The fact that
I was afraid worried me even more. What happened to my
priorities?

With a deep sigh, I left the bathroom before
anyone came to find me. I stopped short when I realized Charlie was
talking to Anjelita about me.

“If you could have seen the way she looked at
this guy…” his voice was ragged. Without his anger to fuel my own,
my heart went out to him. I had hurt him. Four days and I’d hurt
him already. What was it with me?

“Was it Conrad?” Isabel’s pretty voice broke
into their conversation.

“Who’s Conrad?” It was obvious she had the
adults’ attention now. I smiled a little and walked into the
kitchen. Isabel looked at me, her eyes obviously asking permission
to tell them.

“It’s okay sweetie, it’s not a secret,” I
assured her.

“He’s Miss Neena’s brother,” she announced,
very proud to know something the adults didn’t. Relief washed over
Charlie’s expression, only to be instantly replaced by
distrust.

Anjelita’s face lit up. “Is your brother in
town?”

“He is,” I met her smile. “He wants to meet
everyone, but had some business to take care of this evening.
Hopefully he can have dinner with us tomorrow.”

“Oh, I hope so. I’d love to meet him.”

“I’d like that, too,” and surprisingly
enough, I meant that. It would assuredly complicate matters, but I
did want him to meet my friends.

Manny came in, still sweating from a day
spent in his workshop, wrapping Anjelita in a big, stinky hug. She
squealed and shoved him away. I giggled until I realized he was
headed towards me. I shrieked and darted behind Charlie.

“Don’t even think about hugging me, man,”
Charlie warned, forgetting for a moment that he was angry with
me.

Anjelita laughed and called us to the table,
explaining that Mamá Torres was at bingo so there was no point in
waiting on her. After dinner, Manny gave us a tour of his workshop
at Anjelita’s insistence.

“This is amazing,” I ran my hands along a
gleaming piece of woodwork. “I had no idea you could do this.”

“Neither did I, and I’ve known you for
years,” Charlie gave a low whistle as he knelt to inspect a coffee
table.

“We’ve been saving for the tools, and cutting
the wood on our days off. I work in here when it rains, since we
can’t work the fields anyway… it’s a slow process, but we’re
getting there.”

“Isn’t it amazing?” Anjelita’s eyes shone
with pride.

“He’s an artist,” I agreed. “Please let us
know if we can do anything to help. I mean me. Let me know. Charlie
can probably speak for himself. Damn... I mean dang. Sorry.”

“I’d be happy to help, too,” Charlie offered,
his lip twitching in amusement. “Now if you’ll excuse us, Neena has
somewhere she wants me to take her still tonight, and I have an
early day tomorrow.”

“No dandelions?” I tried not to look
hurt.

“No dandelions,” he might have looked
apologetic.

“Will you be staying with your brother
tonight?” Anjelita gave me a quick hug.

“Probably,” truth was, I didn’t really
know.

I borrowed Anjelita’s phone to call Conrad’s
cell to get his room number. The weight of Charlie’s gaze never
left me. I tried to make small talk on the way to the town’s only
motel. My attempts were met with stony silence. Apparently without
the buffer of Anjelita and Manny Torres, he was still super ticked
at me.

There were so many words I wanted to say. But
they were all stopped short by the knowledge that I hadn’t even
known this man for a week. Even for the romantic girl I had been
ten years ago, that wasn’t long enough to trust someone. For the
woman I’d become, it was ludicrous to risk my life to reassure a
man I didn’t know.