Jane Vows Vengeance (23 page)

“I
T WAS NICE OF
N
INON TO GIVE YOU THE DOLL
,” L
UCY SAID
. S
HE
and Jane were walking back to the hotel. Jane had the Pierrot cradled in her arms.

“I suppose,” Jane said glumly. “Clowns are creepy, though. I don’t think I can be in the same room with it.”

“You’re just upset that the Needle wasn’t in it,” said Lucy.

“Well, it
was
in there,” Jane said. “Just not in any usable form.”

Lucy shrugged. “Maybe it just wasn’t meant to happen. The universe doesn’t always work the way we want it to.”

“Oh, shut up,” said Jane. Under her breath she muttered, “Stupid universe.”

“I’m serious,” Lucy said. “Don’t you think things happen for a reason?”

“Maybe,” said Jane. “But if that’s true, then why has everything on this trip pointed me toward finding Crispin’s Needle? You have to admit, there have been a
lot
of coincidences since we got here.”

“True,” Lucy admitted. “It does seem a little odd that you’d
keep getting pointed in one direction, only to have it be a dead end.”

“Maybe it’s God’s idea of a joke,” said Jane. She looked up at the sky. “Well, it’s not funny!” she said.

“At least you’ve gotten to meet a lot of interesting characters,” Lucy said. “And look at it this way—if it really all was a story made up by Ratcliffe, you’ve actually done yourself a huge favor.”

“What are you,” said Jane, “the author of
Chicken Soup for the Vampire’s Soul
?”

“I’m just trying to make you feel better,” Lucy said. “Geez.”

“I know,” Jane said. “I’m sorry. It just all feels off somehow, like I picked the wrong door in a choose-your-own-adventure story. I can’t help thinking that the Needle is still out there somewhere and I just need to retrace my steps and go in a different direction.”

They reached the hotel and went inside. The tour group hadn’t come back yet, and wouldn’t for several hours. Jane and Lucy made plans to reconnect for dinner, then went to their respective rooms.

Jane set the Pierrot doll on the dresser, then lay down on the bed and closed her eyes. She was exhausted, and not just because she and Lucy had walked a great deal. Her entire body felt heavy and drained of energy. Her head was pounding and her thoughts felt dull and insubstantial. The only thing she could focus on was her disappointment, and even that was vague and insubstantial.

What am I really upset about?
she wondered.

She considered the question. Was she disappointed that she hadn’t found the Needle intact? Yes.
But a week ago you hadn’t even heard of it
, she reminded herself. This was true. But once she
had
learned of its possible existence, it had become the most important thing in the world to her.

Maybe that’s the problem
, she thought.
Maybe you should have been happy with what you had
.

That was it. She should have been happy. And she
had
been. She had Walter, and Lucy and Ben, and all of her other friends. She had the bookstore and her career. There was also Miriam, of course, and she
was
a problem, but not an insurmountable one.

Her only real problem was the fact that she was a vampire. And
that
wasn’t even really the problem. No, the real problem was that she hadn’t told Walter what she was, and that she didn’t want to. In short, she’d looked upon Crispin’s Needle as the thing that would save her from having to tell Walter anything at all. She could have just (assuming the legend about the Needle was true) restored her human soul, married Walter, and lived out the rest of whatever her natural life would have been.

If that’s how it would have worked
, she reminded herself.
For all you know, the instant you pierced your heart with the Needle you might have dropped dead. You really ought to ask these kinds of questions before you get excited
.

She thought about this. All she knew was that supposedly Crispin’s Needle made a vampire human again. But maybe it did so only for a moment, so that when death came seconds later (after all, there was a needle stuck through the heart, and that couldn’t be entirely good news) the restored soul flew up to heaven. Or wherever.

If this was the case, Walter would then be grieving her death. She herself wouldn’t be particularly thrilled about the matter either. But was that worse than letting Walter marry her not knowing that she would in all likelihood outlive him by centuries, that she would never age physically while he would suffer the inevitable ravages of time? Looking at things this way, there seemed to be no option that didn’t end in unhappiness.

But you
were
going to let him marry you without knowing what he was in for
, her conscience argued.

“I was going to figure it out later,” she said aloud.

When?
she asked herself.
When you got pregnant? When
Miriam spilled the beans? When Suzu or someone else caught you feeding and told him?

“Leave me alone,” she said, turning onto her stomach and putting a pillow over her head.

That’s what I thought
.

The bottom line was, she had been looking for an easy way out. Now that the way had been blocked, she was back where she had started and still no closer to knowing what to do than she had been when she’d accepted Walter’s proposal in the first place.

Remarkably, she fell asleep. The next thing she heard was the sound of the door to the room opening and Walter’s voice saying, “Honey! I’m home!”

She rolled over and discovered that her cheek was wet. She’d been drooling. She wiped it away with the pillowcase and sat up.

“What time is it?” she asked, yawning.

“Almost nine,” said Walter. “We just got back.”

He came over and gave her a kiss. “How was the festival?”

“The what?” Jane asked, momentarily forgetting the lie she’d told. “Oh, it was boring. You didn’t miss anything. How was the winery?”

“Beautiful,” Walter answered. “I wish you’d come with us.”

“So do I,” said Jane. She glanced at the dresser, thinking,
Then I never would have seen this stupid clown
.

Only the clown wasn’t there.

“Did you move the Pierrot?” she asked Walter.

“The what?” Walter said as he took off his shoes.

“The Pierrot,” said Jane. “A clown. It was sitting on the dresser.”

Walter shook his head. “I didn’t see any clown,” he said.

“But it was right there,” said Jane. “I put it there when I came in.”

“You bought a clown?” Walter shuddered. “Clowns give me the creeps.”

Jane got up and went to the dresser. She stared at the place where the clown had been, as if perhaps she just couldn’t see it. She looked on the floor around the dresser, then behind it. It wasn’t there. She then checked the closet, under the bed, her suitcase, and even the shower. There was no Pierrot anywhere to be found.

“Where could it possibly have gone?” she wondered aloud.

“Maybe it came to life,” Walter suggested. “Like the clown in
Poltergeist
. Maybe it’s hiding and just waiting for us to go to sleep so it can come out and murder us.”

Jane ignored him. “It has to be here somewhere,” she said.

“Forget about the clown,” Walter said. “Are you ready to have an amazing dinner with your almost-husband?”

“I can’t wait,” said Jane, opening the minibar and peering inside.

“Good, because we’re meeting everyone in ten minutes,” Walter informed her.

“Everyone?” Jane said. “In ten minutes? What happened to our quiet dinner with Ben and Lucy?”

Walter looked sheepish. “Well, it’s just that everyone got along really well today, and on the way back Suzu suggested we all have dinner at this restaurant she knows of.”

“Suzu?” said Jane. “She actually spoke? She hasn’t said more than a dozen words the entire trip.”

“She talked to me quite a bit today,” Walter said.

Jane felt her stomach tighten. “Really?” she said. “About what?”

“I don’t know,” said Walter. “Lots of things. She’s really very interesting.”

“I bet she is,” Jane said as she checked the wastepaper basket beside the desk.

“For example,” Walter said, “did you know Genevieve hated Ryan because he won the Pecker-Deadbird?”

Jane turned around. “Excuse me?”

“The Pecker-Deadbird,” Walter repeated. “It’s an award given to an architect whose work reflects the aesthetics of John Pecker-Deadbird.”

“Who was …?” Jane said.

“The father of post-minimalist modernism in institutional design.”

“Oh,” said Jane. “
That
John Pecker-Deadbird.”

“Apparently Genevieve thought
she
should have won the award that year for some juvenile detention facility she built in Manchester, but according to Suzu, Ryan was very
close
to at least two of the judges on the committee, if you know what I mean.”

Jane was surprised to hear Walter talk like this. He was never one to gossip, and here he was wagging his tongue like a fishwife. She wondered what else Suzu had told him.

“Even if he wasn’t involved with the judges, I don’t know why Genevieve would think she had a chance at the Pecker-Deadbird,” Walter continued. “Her work is clearly post-modernist minimalism.”

Astonishing
, Jane thought.
It’s as if he’s been possessed by the spirit of a fifteen-year-old girl
.

“Oh,” said Walter as he changed his shirt, “I also found out that Ryan was the reason Sam didn’t get the teaching position at Columbia. She asked him to write her a letter of recommendation—you know, because they worked together on that project in Charleston—and he did. Only it wasn’t at all flattering. He totally threw her under the bus.”

“Suzu told you this too?” Jane asked.

Walter shook his head. “No. Sam did. She had a couple of glasses of champagne and started talking.”

Aha
, Jane thought.
He’s rambling because he had a little too much to drink. That explains it
.

She was still searching for the clown doll. It had to be there somewhere.
Clown dolls don’t just get up and walk away
, she thought as she checked behind one of the room’s two chairs.

“You should have heard Bergen at lunch,” said Walter. “He was telling the filthiest jokes. There was one about three plumbers, a goat, and a bottle of—”

“Bergen?” Jane said. “Bergen Faust?”

“Bergen
Faust
,” Walter said, as if there were two of them. “The guy is hysterical. Hang on. Let me remember how it goes. Okay, so these three carpenters are hired to build a barn. And one of them has a rash, so he has to put liniment on it three times a day.” He stopped and looked at Jane with a bewildered expression. “Or maybe it’s the goat that has the rash. Anyway, they all end up—”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Jane said, holding up her hand. “I’ve heard it before.”

She had not heard it before, and didn’t want to hear it now, but thankfully this shut Walter up. At least momentarily. He very quickly moved on.

“Another thing about Bergen—he had a beef with McGuinness too.”

“Really?” Jane said. She was much more interested in this line of conversation. “What kind of beef?”

“McGuinness stole a commission from him,” said Walter. “I forget what. A shoe museum or something.”

“Shoe museum?” Jane said. “Who would want to build a shoe museum?”

“They have one for chewing gum,” said Walter. “In Minsk, I think. Why not shoes?”

“Why not, indeed,” Jane replied. “It sounds as though Ryan McGuinness was quite the topic of conversation today.”

“Not really,” Walter said. “His name just came up a couple of times. By the way, what are you looking for?”

Jane put the cover back on the ice bucket. “The Pierrot,” she
said. “The clown doll,” she added when Walter looked at her blankly. “Remember?”

“No,” Walter said. “I don’t think you mentioned it.”

Jane started to ask him how he could possibly have forgotten, when something occurred to her.
He’s been glamored
, she thought.
That explains the chattering and the forgetfulness. But who glamored him?

“Walter,” she said, “did you happen to run into anyone on your way up here?”

“Not that I recall,” Walter said. “Why? Are you expecting someone?”

“What’s the last thing you remember doing?” asked Jane.

Walter thought for a moment. “I remember getting in the elevator,” he said. “And then I came into the room.”

“Good,” Jane said. “Now, was there anybody in the elevator with you?”

Walter thought for a moment. “Now that you mention it, there was. But I can’t remember who. Probably just some other guests. Why?”

“No reason,” Jane answered. “I was just curious. By the way, how do your teeth feel?”

Walter ran his tongue over his teeth. “Now that you mention it, they feel a little tingly. Must be that toothpaste the hotel puts in the bathrooms. Who knows what’s in French toothpaste, right?” He laughed, sounding slightly mad.

There was no new toothpaste. The tube Walter had been using was the one Jane had packed from their own bathroom back home. The tingling sensation was one of the symptoms of having been glamored. There was no doubt in Jane’s mind—there was another vampire in the hotel, and he had gotten to Walter.

Joshua
, she thought.
I’d bet my fangs he’s the one who stole the Pierrot
.

It all made sense. After pretending to return to London, Joshua had been following them the whole time, letting Jane do
all the work looking for Crispin’s Needle. He’d waited until Jane found it—or until he
thought
Jane had found it—and then moved in to steal it. Only there were two things he hadn’t counted on: first, that the Needle had either rusted away to nothing or been stolen, and second, that he would run into Walter as he fled the room. That’s when he must have glamored him.

“You always were too clever by half,” she said, as if Joshua could hear her.

By now he would have discovered that the Pierrot was empty. But would he know that it was because the Needle was gone, or would he assume that Jane still had it and had hidden it somewhere for safekeeping? Jane suspected the latter. And if Joshua thought that Jane still had the Needle, he was still a danger.