Jared (26 page)

His wrist, as if she were a stranger. The emotional
pain of that stabbed deeper than any unfed hunger could. She’d been so stupid
to let her heart get involved in this. She shoved Jared’s arm aside and rolled
off his lap. Grabbing her pack and pushing it up against the wall, she flopped
down upon it, punching it into a plumper shape. “I’ll pass.”

“What in hell is wrong with you?”

“Beyond the fact that I don’t like you swearing?”

“Yeah.”

Rage boiled up inside her, so did screams, curses,
accusations, but she didn’t let any of them out. What would be the point?
Histrionics wouldn’t change anything. Jared’s nature would force him to believe
what logic told him, and she’d always be on the wrong side of it. The way she
had been when her parents had decided to sell her to relatives. The way she had
been when she’d been betrayed to the Sanctuary. The way she had been when she’d
finally found a man she thought she could love.

Oh God, she could love Jared. Raisa closed her eyes
and drew the pack under her cheek. That was such a dangerous thing. The
Sanctuary could use it against her, which would endanger him. He could use it
against her, which would endanger her. And considering the position she was in,
the mission she had yet to complete, that would be a disaster. She brought
Miri’s face, as she’d last seen her, to mind in vivid detail—the gaunt cheeks,
swollen eyes, bloody lip. The desperation. Heard again Miri’s admonishment that
nothing out here was what it seemed and the Sanctuary had spies everywhere.
Raisa shook her head. She didn’t know who to trust, who to confide in. Oh God,
there was no way this couldn’t all blow up in her face.

She gave the pack a punch. Not to mention the fact
that, beyond the physical demand between them, Jared didn’t seem to want
anything to do with her. Two hundred seventy years, from mortal to immortal,
and nothing had changed. When it came to her love life, she sure could pick
them.

With a sigh, Jared rolled to his feet, stepped over
her, and then came down behind her. “You are a stubborn woman, Raisa
Slovenski.”

She was learning to be. But one thing was for sure,
she was never giving more of herself to a relationship than she was getting
back. And if that meant resisting Jared, herself, and that wild vampire part of
her that didn’t care about common sense, so be it.

He curved himself around her back, his hand spreading
over her stomach, massaging gently. “You know you’re going to have to give in.”

“Not if I don’t want to.”

His lips nuzzled her ear. “But there’s the catch. You
want to, don’t you?”

“No.”

His laugh stiffened her resolve. “Liar.”

“It could only be lying if I denied I wanted you. I’m
not denying that, just stating that I don’t intend to give in.”

“You’re putting yourself through hell for nothing.”

“It’s my hell. I’ll play in it any way I want.”

He pressed his wrist against her mouth. “Feed, Raisa.”

“No.” Not like you’re a stranger. The thought whipped
through her head.

She must have projected because his answer came swift
and sure. I’m not a stranger.

She closed her eyes, ignored temptation, and gave him
the truth. Like this, you are.

THE pain came at her from the darkness within, ripping
at her like shards of broken glass, making mincemeat of her determination. A
demon enemy with talons so long they shredded right through all her principles.

Behind her Jared stirred. If he offered her his wrist
again, she knew she’d take it. She wasn’t a strong woman. Never had been. But
she’d always tried to be happy and make others happy, too. It had gotten her
very little as a human. Even less as a vampire. She just didn’t know how to be
anybody else.

With a sigh that stirred the hair at her temples,
Jared tugged her onto her back. Night vision and shadows cast his features into
an austere blend of angles and planes. Still handsome, just so much more a part
of the night. More vampire. He touched the sweat at her temple. For a second
his expression softened. “Ah, hell.”

His hand slid behind her head, pulling her against
him. The heat of his body was like a drug, lulling her, the scent of his skin a
lure. His cheek brushed hers. “Why in hell do you have to be so stubborn?”

She didn’t have an answer. His knuckle pressed against
her chest and then pressed into his own. The scent of blood, rich, life-giving,
pain-stopping blood filled her with her next breath. He drew her down.

She shook her head. He cradled her closer, that same
softness she’d seen in his expression extending to his touch. “Shh, sunbeam,
let me take care of you tonight. Just . . .” His lips grazed the line of her
jaw and the slant of her cheekbones, the smoothness of her brow. “You need me,
and I want to give you what you need. Just let it be that uncomplicated, this
once.”

The tiredness in his voice found an echo within her.
She slipped her arms around his neck and nodded. She closed her eyes and
wiggled her fingers through his hair and opened her mouth over the gift. As her
fangs sank carefully into his skin, his moan reverberated around her. His
forehead dropped to the top of her head, and his breath sighed out.

Right.

The conviction flowed from him to her, entering her
along with his essence flowing through her veins, lodging in her heart.

Yes. For however long it lasted, this was right.

FOR however long it lasted.

Raisa couldn’t get the thought out of her head. The
only thing that lasted long in her life was her hope that the next good thing
would be the one to break the mold. Bottom line, the good times in life were
short, and expecting too much was the surest way to deprive herself of what
enjoyment she could have. The whole expanse of her life, mortal and immortal,
she’d never really felt connected to anyone. Not her family, who were so poor
just trying to survive took up all their energy. Not with her cousin, who’d
seen her as a means to an end, and not as a vampire, which had only put her in
the position of something to be used, either for sexual gratification or
bizarre experimentation.

Now that she was literally a ticking time bomb, she’d
found a man who, though he considered her untrustworthy, treated her with
respect and could make her body sing. And she was putting boundaries on their
relationship that assumed they really would have an eternity together when in
reality, she’d be lucky to have another twenty-four hours. If there was a more
idiotic thought process than that, she had yet to come across it.

She closed the wound on Jared’s chest with three slow
flicks of her tongue. The expansion of his ribs as he sucked in a fast breath
was gratifying. At least the man was not immune to her.

His fingers sifted through her hair. “Whatever made
you think I was immune to you?”

She had to learn to keep her mind from drifting open
to his. She shrugged. “Your general dislike for what you see as my moral code.”

“That, sunbeam, has nothing to do with my attraction
to you.”

She looked up. “You can’t be serious.”

“I’m always serious.”

No, he wasn’t, for all he liked to give that
impression. “Well then, that’s just disgusting.”

“Man or vampire, the male of the species is a pretty
simple creature.”

Raisa propped herself up on his chest, tangling her
pinkie in the sprinkling of hair lightly covering the center. “That is not
something I’d be bragging about.”

His hand cupped the side of her hip, encouraging her
up and over. “That’s because you’re a woman bent on complicating everything.”

She followed his lead, angling her hips over his
pelvis, the teasing note underlying the statement found her sense of fun as she
settled her weight along his body.

“That’s not entirely bad,” she pointed out as she
adjusted her weight. There were real advantages to taking up with a man so much
bigger than she. The differences in their heights allowed her cheek to fit
naturally into the hollow of his shoulder, the curve of her breast swelled into
the hollow of his abdomen, the softness of her stomach cradled his erection,
her thighs fell naturally between his.

“If you think about it, my complicated thought
processes actually rescue your life as a simple male from terminal boredom.”

His right eyebrow went up, and the sexiest of half
smiles cocked up the corner of his mouth. “It figures you’d see it that way.”

“Are you saying you don’t?”

“I’m not saying anything that’s going to ruin your
mood.”

She kissed his chin. “Smart man.”

“Just keeping it simple.”

She could work with simple. “Does that mean you might
be open to extending this moment?”

His hand opened on her buttock, the heat searing
through the cotton of her jeans. “That would depend on which moment you are
talking about.”

She could tell he knew what she was referring to from
the way his lids dropped down over his eyes, and from the way his expression
grew heavy with sensuality. “The moment where you need, and I want to take care
of that need.”

His gaze measured her reaction. “Nothing’s changed.”

She shrugged. “And it might never in the time I have
left, so why let it ruin what we have?”

Grim determination shadowed desire. His fingers found
the base of her skull, pressing on the chip. “You’re going to be fine.”

Wishing didn’t make it so, but a man like Jared didn’t
just accept the inevitable. He fought it to the grave, and so would she, but
not tonight. Tonight she just wanted to pretend no complications existed.

“I know.” She let go of that seductively masculine
strand of hair. Why settle for a strand of hair when there was much bigger
territory to play in? She popped the top button of his shirt and then the next,
spreading the material with a stretch of her fingers, exposing the deep groove
between his pectorals, the first ridge of his abdominals, the pure perfection
of his body. She couldn’t take her eyes away. “But right now that’s not what I
want to focus on.”

The next button slipped free. She flattened her palm
over his chest. He was hot and hard, and the rhythm of his heart was definitely
perking up. His breath pushed his chest into her touch. She smiled, drawing her
nail down his breastbone. He shuddered, and when she wiggled her hips, he
released that breath on a sexy rumble.

His thumb rubbed against her throat. “You’re not going
to die.”

Not tonight, she didn’t think, but she couldn’t be
sure. She cocked her head to the side and drew her nail back up his chest,
heading in a northeasterly direction, not stopping until she met the
distraction of the shallow well surrounding his nipple. She circled the small
nub tantalizingly. “But if we pretend I am, then we can just enjoy ourselves
without all that heavy thinking about the Sanctuary, betrayal, and lack of
trust.”

Jared gathered her hair up in a ponytail, exposing her
face. If it weren’t for the change in his breathing, the faster beat of his
heart, and the erection throbbing between her thighs, she’d think her touch was
having no effect on him whatsoever. He studied her expression intently, no
doubt looking for some sign of a trick or indecision on her part. He wasn’t
going to find any. She’d gotten very good over the years at living in the
moment. “You want to play ‘let’s pretend’?”

He didn’t have to sound so skeptical. She unbuttoned
three more buttons before spreading his shirt wide. He had a beautiful chest,
well muscled with just enough hair to intrigue. “I want to play with you.”

As she tugged his shirt free of his pants, she
realized it was true. She’d always been the recipient in lovemaking, passively
accepting what was handed to her, hoping it was going to be at least a little
good, but with Jared, she wanted to be the aggressor, to learn what pleased him
the way he knew what pleased her. She wanted to have fun with him. The kind of
fun that left them both panting with satisfaction.

Raisa braced herself up on her arms and looked down on
him, her hair falling round them, sliding over his skin, looking amazingly
light against his darker complexion. His hiss of breath made her smile. And do
it again, rocking against him so her hair brushed his chest in silken whips of
pleasure while her hips promised him more. Against her finger, his nipple drew
to a small tight peak. She flicked it with her nail, her smile broadening at
his indrawn hiss of breath. “So, are you going to let me play?”

The harsh line of Jared’s mouth softened. Heat
deepened the green in his eyes. A half smile took up residence on his mouth as
his energy reached out and stroked slowly, deliberately along hers. “I’d be
crazy not to, wouldn’t I?”

Oh God. Her abdomen clenched on a surge of desire.
When he looked at her like that, everything in her snapped to sexual attention.
He was such a beautiful man. Ruggedly compelling, all raw masculine power and
grace. He was the epitome of sex appeal and little of that had to do with him
being vampire. It was hard to get the answer past the constriction of her
throat. “Yes, you would.”