Jayson: A New Adult / Coming of Age Romance (26 page)

“
I
want
to be sure we have a good understanding, Mr. Zephyr. In exchange for leaving my daughter alone, you have my continued backing and support, which begins today with this meeting with the banker, Mr. Thorenson. However, if at any point you renege on our agreement, the information contained in this record will be made common knowledge…for Kitrina
and
anyone on the list I gave you of potential clients.”

“Understood.” I shift in the high-backed dining chair to surreptitiously sweep the upscale restaurant one more time. The important new client should be here any minute. You’d think Candace Schneider would be done gloating over her triumph, but it appears she intends to wave it in my face to the very end.

Beside me, Castiel leans in closer to whisper, “Look at her. She’s like a cat toying with her prey before the kill. I got news for you, buddy. We’re the field mice in this story. How the hell do you trust this?”

“Let’s just see how it goes, alright?” I whisper back. Candace eyes us both as she sips from her wineglass with a pleased smile.

For two weeks, I’ve managed to keep myself away from Kitrina, not because I gave a shit what dirt her mother had on me, but because I felt it was the right thing to do. I let her believe what she believed about another woman, because the alternative was bashing her mother—whom she needs. I know my noble sweetheart—she’d damn herself to stay with me and I don’t want that. I don’t want to hold her back with a serious relationship when she should be focusing on her studies. Accepting a plug from Candace is simply a bonus, in my book. With my family dependent on me, I can’t afford to refuse any help that will expand the business.

Candace Schneider called a dinner meeting at one of the fanciest restaurants in the city to pair me up with an investor who might be able to help me expand Zephyr Brothers. I look over at Cast, grateful he decided to come with me, because the decisions made here today will affect him and the rest as much as they’ll affect me. I sigh and smooth the lapels of a new suit. I glance at my watch. I shift in my chair again. All tiny little reactions to the very loud voice in my head screaming at me that I’m selling my soul to the devil.

Yet, my momma’s voice rings loudest. You’ve gotten this far on your own.

Cast nudges me, and I look up and see a portly older gentleman coming toward our table with the greeter. My heart pounds beneath my ribcage, my palms get sweaty. I’m not nervous. I’m ready to bolt. This doesn’t feel right. As Mr. Thorenson makes his way closer, the sense of falling into a trap persists, and I spend the last five seconds before he makes it to us considering exactly what’s off about the picture.

Well, for one, it’s blackmail. And, what’s to stop Candace from pulling this move over and over in the future, every time she wants me to jump to her music? I think about the loan she gave Kit that she has her paying back, despite the fact she’s well aware Kit’s struggling to pay, and that’s her own damn daughter. What on earth would stop her from violating this “verbal agreement” with me? As my younger brother so eloquently put it:
How the hell do you trust this?

“Hey, Candy!” The banker’s voice booms out over the restaurant, and several of the people sitting nearby look over at us. I squirm uncomfortably, wondering how to get me and my brother out of this place without causing a scene.

Candace titters flirtatiously and dabs at her rouged lips with a pristine napkin, leaving not a trace of lipstick. She tosses her white-blonde hair and half-stands for two air pecks on the cheeks from the banker. “Vic! Pleasure to see you, darling!” she greets him familiarly.

Castiel grumbles something I don’t quite catch, but I get the gist of it—time for us to bail. These two know each other too well, and any friend of Candace’s is likely an enemy of ours. Cast and I share a look, like we used to when we were kids.

It’s a look that says, “On three, go!”

“No, no, don’t stand, gentlemen. Any friends of Candace’s are friends of mine. Do you know this fine woman was with my mother to the very end? Finest geriatric doctor I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. We’ll have no formalities here,” he beams magnanimously as he shakes my hand, then my brother’s. “I’m Vic Thorenson.”

“How ya doin’? Castiel Zephyr.” Cast rises to his feet with me and pushes his chair back from the table.

“Jayson Zephyr,” I introduce myself. I don’t sit down as instructed. “And, actually, we were just leaving.”

Candace narrows her eyes at me. “Excuse me?”

I swallow and stand my ground, even though Vic’s eyes dart between Candace, Cast and me like this is an unexpected development. He came here to do business with me, but I don’t intend to stick around to do business that involves Candace. In fact, I can’t believe I considered it in the first place.

“I, er, was under the impression we were here to negotiate some things, Mr. Zephyr. Can I call you Jay? I don’t want to get you two mixed up, heh! Don’t rush off. Let’s sit and chat a while,” Vic insists. He waves me to my chair when I hesitate. Candace slides the file folder containing my criminal history to the top of the table, a mute threat. My lips firm, but I sit back down. Cast overdramatically rolls his eyes and scowls at me, but he sits down, too.

“Yes, sit, Jayson,” she says in a cloyingly sweet voice. “You and I just discussed the terms of our agreement. There shouldn’t be any surprises.”

“Simply put, Mrs. Schneider, I am no longer interested in making any sort of deal with you, although I would rather not discuss the particulars in mixed company,” I say as delicately as possible.

“That’s not how this works.” She arches a brow and opens her mouth with a fiery retort on the tongue. I raise a hand to halt her before she lashes out.

“Rest assured, the
partnership
you were so concerned about is dissolved, exactly as you wished, and it will remain that way. But, as for business pursuits, Zephyr Brothers will be considering other options. However, thank you very much for your interest in investing.”

“Yeah, thanks, but no thanks,” Cast adds with a smug smirk, arms crossed.

Candace’s ire morphs to confusion and back to anger. Vic looks just as out of sorts, but he does a better job of keeping it under wraps. He clears his throat and snaps open his briefcase. It occurs to me a man like him isn’t used to being told no. I guess I’ll just have to show him I say what I mean and mean what I say. He shakes out a folder and holds up something. I squint and discover it’s a copy of my criminal record. My eyes fly to Candace in disbelief. So she intended to betray me all along. I’ll be damned.

“Candace Schneider, you are one cold snake,” Castiel bristles. I shoot him a warning glance, and he sullenly slumps back in his chair, but I mentally echo his sentiments.

Vic Thorenson chuckles at the glower that passes between Candace and me. “Candy, girl, you sure know how to wage a war. Simmer down, young whippersnapper,” he says to me. “I’m sure you’re wondering how I came by this. As I alluded to a minute ago, Candace and I go way back. As such, she trusted me with this information, and she trusted me with the particulars of this special case.”

“Elaborate,” I order dryly.

Mr. Thorenson supplies, “Let’s just say I know all about this partnership that needed dissolving that got us all here today.”

“Well, since everyone is on the up and up, I can speak freely. I can’t be bought or sold, do you understand me? You can take that to the bank, ‘cause it’s as good as gold.”

Mr. Thorenson slides the empty folder back in his briefcase and wags the criminal record at me, with a thoughtful expression. “I was hoping you would say that. In fact…”

He slowly and meticulously rips up the document, page by page. The paper makes the satisfying sound of tearing as Candace opens and closes her mouth like a fish out of water. “Vic!” Candace manages in a hoarse shriek.

Castiel begins to laugh. “Well, don’t that beat all?”

Mr. Thorenson collects the tattered pieces of paper, crumples the shreds into a wad. “Trash,” he says. “Mr. Jay, I came here this evening to help out an old friend, but once Candace apprised me of the full situation, I made a decision not to work with her or you simply because I don’t do that kind of business. No offense, Candace. But, Mr. Jay, just so you know, that paper wasn’t worth a damn in the first place.”

Candace laughs nervously. “I simply wanted to help him,
despite
his past.”

Vic looks over Candace and addresses me, alone. “Mr. Jay, I’m sure I can provide you with financial solutions that will fit your needs as a small business on a track to expansion. Just not under duress. You okay with that?”

“No blackmail with the deal? Hell, yeah, we’re okay with it!” Cast hoots.

I nudge him in the ribcage and speak up for myself. “That’d be excellent, sir.”

“Good, good, good. Well, I, for one, am glad we could get this wrapped so quickly because I have a date tonight with a hot woman who goes by the title of My Wife. Mr. Jay, here’s my card. You give me a call, and we’ll get the paperwork going to make some things happen. Castiel, was it? It was nice meeting you. As always, Candy, pleasure to see you. Don’t stay mad at me, hear?” His jolly laughter follows behind him as he stands and collects his briefcase, leaving behind the wad of my criminal history.

I watch in amazement as he walks back the same way he came. Then my eyes swing to Candace, and she looks like she’d skewer me if she could. Castiel jauntily replies, “Looks like our work here is done.”

I smile. “Mrs. Schneider, it looks like the grave you dug me wasn’t deep enough. After that little exchange, I’m thinking I won’t be needing your investment or your client list, so you can tell them whatever you want about me.”

“Don’t get too sure of yourself, Mr. Zephyr. There’s more than one way to skin a cat, and I still haven’t told Kitrina everything I know about you. Yes, you and I both know what she thinks is what matters most to you.”

I steel my jaw. “As I already told you, Kitrina and I are no longer together.”

“But you still care, because you hope she still cares,” Candace taunts.

“That’s the thorn in your side, isn’t it, Mrs. Schneider? The fact Kitrina loves my brother. Now, do you really believe that feeling will just evaporate all because you tell her it should? Man, you can’t possibly know the meaning of the word,” Castiel scoffs.

Half-rising from her chair at his statement, Candace’s lips twist in a sneer. “Don’t dare speak to me about what it means to love,” she says in a quivering whisper.

“I loved Kitrina’s father. He was
a good man
! Do you know he was crossing the street to help someone whose car had broken down? When some lowlife drunk driver plowed into him! Kept right on driving, driving like they had run over a bump in the road, a piece of garbage, someone who didn’t deserve to make it! That asshole killed the one person I ever truly loved! So, don’t tell me about the meaning of the word!” Castiel blanches white at the vehemence of her speech.

“Mrs. Schneider, I’m sorry for your loss,” I say quietly. And I am—but I’m more sorry for Kitrina’s loss.

“You will be, yes. The minute Kitrina hears that you were arrested for driving under the influence, her infatuation with you will come to a natural end and she will never, never want to see you again,” she laughs bitterly, shaking out a cigarette and lighting up right there in the middle of the restaurant. “You think my daughter not talking to you again is terrible? Try losing a spouse. Try losing your very own flesh and blood like you tried to take my daughter from me. You lose, Jayson Zephyr.”

Candace pulls a wad of bills from her clutch, tosses them on the table, glares at my brother and me. “And, I’m glad you don’t want my charity, Mr. Zephyr. I would sooner help a roach lay eggs than help a drunk driver fund his vice of choice. So, thank you for saving me with your charade at nobility. Good day,
gentlemen
.”

Just as a waiter comes over to tell her she can’t smoke inside, Candace puffs and saunters out of the building, leaving me and Cast looking after her in stunned silence.

“What just happened?” Castiel asks out of the corner of his mouth.

“Hell if I know,” I murmur, scratching the back of my head. “But, I think we just got ourselves an investor and lost ourselves an evil potential mother-in-law.”

“So, does this mean you and Kit won’t be getting back together?”

I snap for the waiter and pay the bill with my card, leaving Candace’s money as a hefty tip. I refuse to answer Castiel because I refuse to think about it. There is no me and Kit. Based on what Candace said—Kit hadn’t told me the detail about the driver being drunk— there never will be an “us” again. Had I committed any other offense, Kitrina might be able to look past it, but given what happened to her father, there’s no hope for it now.

J
anuary turns
into February as life goes full circle. I wake up in the same bed I slept in as a child, a teenager, now a young adult. A sense of gratefulness at not having to worry about slaving away at Devil in the Details pervades, but a longing for the independence I fought fiercely to gain sticks around, too. At first Mom seems suspicious of my every move, checking in on me, asking who’s calling, where I’m going. It gets to be tedious until she finally realizes that Jayson’s out of my life for good. In other ways, I realize she’s trying to be nice. I now own two new cashmere sweaters and a leather backpack. My favorite foods are on the table more often than they used to be. We’ve gone to the hair salon together and a couple of movies.

As the weeks pile up, I learn how to busy myself to keep Jayson out of my thoughts as well, and I finally start to feel like I’m putting the broken pieces of my life back together. Schoolwork becomes a pleasure again. And, even though my mother is against the idea of me working, I pick up an online job acting as a virtual assistant to make money on the side. Since I never leave the house, she doesn’t notice. I watch the numbers slowly, slowly add up in my bank account. I quietly pay my mortgage and save to pay Mom back.

I link up with Professor Schwartz, who continues to play my mentor, despite the fact I don’t have any classes with her this semester.

“Your work is improving,” she murmurs thoughtfully as she looks through my portfolio.

I beam at her from the other side of her clunky, industrial desk. “I hoped you’d like that one. I took a page from your design book and worked outside of my comfort zone. You’re so much more utilitarian than I am, but it worked. It really worked for me!”

“Ah, maybe that’s why I like it.” She chuckles and hands the leather portfolio folder back to me. Her black hair falls across her cheeks as she looks down at her steepled fingers. “I take it you didn’t seek me out just to show me your portfolio for Professor Roberts. Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about, Kit?”

“Actually…” I nervously dig into my purse and pull out prints of photographs I took of my house before leaving to move back in with my mom. “I wanted to show you my first attempt at decorating an entire single-family home. It’s bohemian meets Moroccan meets whatever else I could find at thrift stores.” I grin. Professor Schwartz’ eyes light up with glee as she goes through each of the photographs, making impressed sounds at some of them. I peek into her hand for a look at what catches her attention.

“Kitrina,” she breathes excitedly. “These are refreshing. Dare I say it? Your best work yet. May I keep these?”

“Yes, of course. I printed them just for you.”

“I have a friend who publishes a design quarterly. I have a hunch she’d be interested in showing off your handiwork in her circular, both the ezine and the hard copy. If she is, she’ll want to send in her own photographer. Are you comfortable with that? And, what do you say you come up with a snappy eight-hundred-or-so-word essay describing your process to accompany the spread?”

My stomach does a flip-flop. “Are you serious?”

“Very.” Professor Schwartz taps the stack of pictures down on her desk.

“I-I’d love to! Oh my gosh, I don’t know what to say. Thank you! Thank you so much, Professor Schwartz. This is unbelievable!”

She chuckles softly. “Now, now. I can’t promise you anything. I said I have a hunch.”

“Either way,” I giggle. “I appreciate all the help you’re giving me. I can create content tonight and email it off to you tomorrow. How soon do you think you’ll hear back from your friend?” I hate to sound overeager, but the prospect has me salivating at the potential doors it will open for me.

“I’ll let you know something before the week is out.”

I leave Professor Schwartz’s office and rush straight home after my last class. The second my mom opens the front door, I rush her with the good news.

“You’re never going to believe this!” I exclaim.

Mom tugs off her fur coat and hangs it to dry. Pulling off her riding gloves, she presents me with an expectant smile of appraisal. “Well, what has you in a tizzy?”

“Professor Schwartz is going to show pictures of my house to a friend of hers that has a circular. She thinks she can get me a spread!”

“That’s wonderful news, Kitrina. I’m so proud of you!”

Mom hugs me demurely, careful not to wrinkle her suit. I pull back and eye her carefully. “Are you really?”

“That’s an odd question to ask. Of course I’m proud of you. I know you put your all into your designs. I’m happy to see that paying off for you.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not gunning for an argument, but…it’s always seemed like you weren’t too enthused about my career decision. I mean, you laughed at me in front of everyone when I mentioned I want to have my own show.”

Mom sighs, lips downturned. “Kit, you’re my only child. I’m sorry if I made you feel I lacked faith in you. Sure, sure, I wanted you to follow in my footsteps, with that brilliant mind of yours, but no matter what you decide to do with your life, I’ll always be behind you.”

I gnaw on my bottom lip and refrain from pointing out she didn’t support me at all in my love for Jayson. Maybe if she had, then things would be different. If I were he, dealing with people like my mom, I’d keep a Plan B just in case the relationship fell through, too. No wonder he was cheating on me.

I suppress a dejected sigh. “It doesn’t matter now. Regardless, I have confidence in myself. I’m really going to make it, Mom.”

“I know you are, sweetheart. Ah, never really a doubt in my mind.” She heads out of the foyer but pauses after a few steps. I stare at her straight, slender back wondering what stopped her. Mom peeks over her shoulder. “There’s something else.”

She seems to struggle internally with whatever else it is she has to say. Mom takes a shy step toward me, grabs my hands. She looks me in the eyes. “I’ve always been proud of you, but I haven’t been quite as proud of myself lately.”

“What do you mean?” I think I know what she means, but I want to give her the chance to expound.

“I’ve done some things, said some things I wish I could take back. I can’t…I can’t make you trust me the way you used to. Look, I know you hold that nasty situation with Jayson Zephyr against me, and frankly I don’t blame you, given the circumstances. I’m sorry he broke your heart. I didn’t want him to hurt you, darling. I didn’t want to hurt you, either.”

I touch her cool, dry cheek. Mom’s smile wavers, and her blue eyes glisten. “I don’t hold it against you,” I murmur. I forgive her. I’m all she has and she’s more fragile than she appears. I understand her better now that I have some idea what losing the man you love is like. “I wish things didn’t have to be the way they are, but I’m glad we’re moving past all this.”

“I vow to do better, starting with absolving you of your debt.”

“What?”

“You shouldn’t have to pay me back for that minor bit of renovation work. Consider it a gift. Of course, given the money I sank into making it a home worthy of a magazine spread, there’s no way I’ll let it slip through your fingers either. I’ll do whatever I can to help you keep your house.”

I throw my arms around her neck with a squeal of glee. I squeeze my mother close. The tears that fall are tears of joy as I realize she understands me too. She realizes how important that house is to me.

“Dear God, I can’t believe I almost never spoke with you again!” I laugh through my tears. Mom hugs me tighter, and I feel like everything that happened to scrape and scar our relationship heals over. “What would I do without you?”

Mom smooths down my pale, silky hair. “You’d thrive. You’ve shown me that. You’d fight tooth and nail for your values and beliefs. You’d live life to the fullest.”

I lay awake later that night thinking about what she said, that I would live life to the fullest, like that’s what I was doing while I was out there fumbling at being a grownup. It’s funny how I went into things feeling like I had to have a certain this or that and be perfect at everything. Funny I felt like a failure after losing my perfectly imperfect independent life. And, funny how it turns out that I was apparently out there living life to the fullest. I smile to myself and close my eyes.

But, when I fall asleep, I dream about him. I can’t remember the dream exactly, just that we were together, in my house. With everything else falling in place, I can’t help but wonder why I can’t work things out with him too.

For the first time in months, I dream about her.

“I miss you more than I know the words to say it, Kitrina Schneider,” I whisper heatedly against her rosebud mouth.

“Tell me what you miss,” she growls. Her white teeth nip at my bottom lip. My palms skim down her back to the curve of her buttocks, and I squeeze her closer so she can feel the hot, hard ridge of my shaft straining to pierce her. It’s answer enough. Her slender hand slips beneath my shirt, and she caresses my stomach.

“Tell me how anybody could make you give all this up.”

“There’s no one, Kit.” With a soft giggle, she pulls at my shirt until the buttons pop free one by one. I grab her hands and make her stop touching me. “Listen. There’s no one else. There was never anyone else. I could never betray you like that.”

“It’s alright. Relax…” Kit presses me back into the bed, her new bed, the one I only made love to her in once. She daringly stares me in the eyes and straddles me, pushing me back down. I stare up at her through a haze of desire. She’s so damn sexy, wearing the outfit she wore that first night at the club. She has on a yellow midriff shirt and a floral print skirt, and it’s so short. Short enough to make my cock get harder at just the thought of what’s underneath.

“I know you took the deal, Jayson.”

“Wha-what?” She eases forward and subtly shifts her hips to teasingly roll her hot, damp sex against my growing erection. “Hmm,” I groan. I clasp her hips to stop the torturous movement. “What deal?”

Her hair cascades around us like a curtain, shutting us off from the rest of the world. “The deal to get ahead by leaving me behind. How could you do that to me, baby? After everything we’ve been through,” she whispers seductively against my mouth. Her tongue lashes my lips, and I wrestle with a fierce desire. But I have to set her straight. I pull away from the kiss.

“Alright, I’ll be honest with you, Kit,” I confess. “I considered letting your mom help me expand Zephyr Brothers, but in the end I didn’t go through with it. I wanted to come back to you.” I tangle my fingers in her hair and drag her mouth back down to mine, passionately kissing her. I know I should continue, tell her that though I wanted to come back, I couldn’t. I should say she has a brighter future ahead without me, but my mouth won’t say those words.

Instead, a lusty moan flows from my mouth to hers as my pelvis juts forward to scrape my throbbing cock against her body. She grips her thighs tighter around me with a yelp of pleasure.

I gasp when her hand sweeps down my chest and abs, down to my crotch. Her dainty fingers tighten around my shaft through my jeans to give it a titillating squeeze. She runs her open palm up and down the thick, corded ridge of my manhood, massaging and stroking me until I whimper her name at the teasing. “I’ve missed you so much,” I repeat, kissing her, sucking at her mouth. My hands close around her neck. Kit rises and falls above me as if riding me, regardless of the clothes that keep us from going all the way.

I don’t stop her when she unbuckles my belt, unfastens my pants. My swollen, engorged cock springs free, and I bite back a cry when her warm fingers trace down its length. “There’s something else I have to tell you about my past,” I blurt out. She rubs the pad of her thumb across my lips to silence me.

“Shh…I don’t want to talk about the past. I just want to make you feel better. That’s all.” Her sultry voice drops an octave, arousing. “You need this,” she accurately assesses.

“No, Kit, I
need
you to know. Before we go any further.”

She strokes up and down, pumping and squeezing. “Show me,” she steals a page from my book.

“What are you talking about? I’m trying to tell you that I used to be a criminal!” I grimace, groan. My head drops back, and I rest on my elbows. I clench my bottom lip between my teeth as I try to hold back to make sure she understands what I’m saying to her, but my hips begin to rise and fall in tandem with the tug of her hand, and my cock throbs in her grasp, pulsating, quivering, ready to be put to use. The tension mounts, the pleasure expanding like ripples across a still lake, until the sensation becomes lapping waves that overtake me. “Ah!”

“Is it a crime to be in love with me, Jayson? Have you been a bad boy? Do you deserve to be punished?” Kit gives a sultry moan.

“Why aren’t you listening to me?” I cover my face with my hands. None of this makes sense. It suddenly occurs to me that I don’t remember how I got to Kitrina’s house. The last thing I remember is chatting with Castiel about putting my work ahead of everything, then him storming off cause he thought I was a fool to stay away from Kit.

I’m dreaming.
I swear colorfully at the realization. It’s all just a dream. She isn’t here. I haven’t told her anything. I should’ve known everything was happening too easily.

With eyes shut, I don’t see Kit lowering her hot, wet mouth, but when the humid oasis envelops my entire erection, an anguished exclamation of wonder erupts. “Ah! Ah, Kitrina!” I fist her hair and surge deeper into her perfect mouth, paralyzed by the unexpected ecstasy. Trembling and on edge, I hold her there.

But, she shakes her head free and begins to expertly fellate me. Each time she swallows me down, my body convulses. She releases me inch by inch, only to replace her tight mouth with her tight grasp. Her fingers get silky with saliva as she uses her hands and mouth to suck me, stroke me. She makes such greedy sounds of excitement, as usual as aroused by the act as I am. I jerk and spasm like a snake charmed by how she plays the pipe.