Je Suis a Toi (Monsters in the Dark Book 4) (8 page)

“Do you want this?”

“Uh-huh…” Her eyes rolled as I carefully swiped over her pubic bone.

“How much?”

Her voice strangled. “
So
much.”

“Will you fight for it?”

Her eyes opened, struggling to keep me in focus. “Fight?”

“Will you beg for it?”

A calculating gleam entered her gaze. “Do you
want
me to beg for it?”

My cock lurched as she licked her lips.

Her face tensed. “The day you accepted me, I promised I’d fight you, Q. For years, I’ve never given you complete control over me. You have limits, but you don’t trust yourself not to cross them.” Her eyes drifted down my front to my erection stabbing at my belt. “However, I give all of that up. Right now. I won’t fight. I won’t argue. I’ll let you do anything you damn well please. Just let me come so I can focus on the rest of the night without going out of my mind.”

I leaned over her, hovering the wand over her pussy. “You’re going out of your mind?” The low setting hummed with promise. I wanted to see how fast this would make her climb. How quick she could come before I denied such a release.

“Every time you bind me and tease me, I go out of my mind.”

I smiled. “I love your honesty. How about one more truth?”

She stiffened, her hips rocking subtly. “Anything.”

“Tell me why I do this. What do I want from you?”

She paused, breathing hard. “Everything.”

I shuddered. She was so damn right. I did want everything. And for years, I thought I had everything. But now…now, I was missing something.
We
were missing something. And I wanted to find it with her.

My heart raced like a demonic creature, bucking for touch and taste and togetherness.

“You earned this, Tess.” Pressing the wand against her clit, I held it there.

Immediately, she let out a ragged groan. Her hips rose to force her flesh harder against the unforgiving vibration. “Yes…oh,
God
. Yes.”

“Let yourself go. Let yourself fly. I want to watch you come undone.”

Her head thrashed to the side as her forehead knitted together. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

Whatever I want?

That offer came with no caveats or conditions.

It should
.

Tess said she hadn’t fully given herself to me. She had. She’d given me her ultimate trust. Trust that I didn’t deserve, as I wasn’t as human as she believed.

“Q…I—I want you.” Her hips came up, her limbs fighting the silk rope. Her breathless softness erupted the sexual hunger savaging my insides.

Cranking the speed, I rubbed the wand from clit to entrance over her knickers.

Her head fell back, eyes rolling. “Oh, wow…”

Climbing over the bed, I lay down beside her. My hand ached from holding onto the vibrating device, and the bed rocked as Tess fucked the toy, desperate for a release.

With my free hand, I snatched her cheeks, wrenching her face to mine.

Every part of her from blood to brain was mine. She had no other thoughts but me. No other worries or concerns or questions.

I owned her completely.

And in return, she owned me.

I kissed her.

I captured her mouth like she would vanish. My tongue speared through her swollen lips, and I fucked her with taste and breath.

She moaned, drawing tight against the restraints, craving my mouth, moaning for the wand.

My leg flung over hers, and she trembled beneath me. She was in the sweetest surrender, and I wished I could record it. Tape her freedom and fucking perfection as she chased her orgasm.

Knowing she let me bring her to the precipice of insanity night after night made my soul ignite until flames in my chest matched the flames in the fireplace. Nothing was more satisfying than her affection. Even her utmost submission wasn’t as perfect as her vows to love me in sickness and in health.

That was the ultimate aphrodisiac.

My hand rocked, giving her more friction with the wand.

“Yes…yes…oh, yes.” Her breathing stopped as it always did as she strained to release. I hovered in indecision. Part of me wanted her to come. To ricochet into pieces and languishly agree to whatever else I requested. But the other part of me didn’t want to give pleasure so easily.

She had to earn it.

And she hadn’t…not yet.

Pressing the button, the vibrations ceased.

The room fell silent apart from her tattered breaths. “What—no, Q. I was so close. No…you can’t stop there.” A pretty pout formed on her lips, her eyes bright and glazed with need.
“Please…
pretty, pretty please? You told me to fly. I want to fly, dammit!”

Rolling from the bed, I placed the wand on the quilt and grabbed the small pouch from my bag instead. “You’ll get the rest of your reward once we’ve finished.”

“I want it
now
.” Her hips surged upward, looking for more torment. “You’re evil.”

I laughed. “That isn’t new information for you.”

Her eyes narrowed, falling to the black pouch as I unzipped it. “What’s that?” She did her best to raise her head but the weight of not coming drowned her, making her sleepy.

“This is pain,
esclave
. And you promised you’d let me do anything.”

A slight groan escaped her, but she nodded. “I did, and I do. Just…hurry so I can come. I really,
really
want to come.”

I chuckled as I sat on the edge of the bed and undid the knot around her left wrist. She never took her eyes off me as I opened the bag and placed the tattoo pen with its vial of black ink on the bedspread.

Her eyebrows rose. “Wait. You’re going to
tattoo
me?”

I grinned. She wasn’t averse to the idea of needles and forever-after ink. Only focusing on the fact that I would be the one inscribing her body.

“Do you have a problem with that?”

I waited, inspecting every fleeting thought on her face.

For a second, she hesitated. “Umm…”

My back whiplashed straight.
“Umm?”

Tess’s eyes grew wider. “Q…I love you, but tattooing me…that’s something I have to think about.” Her throat tilted, exposing a little of her fire-seared brand beneath her collar. “Isn’t this enough?”

I shook my head. “Nothing will ever be enough. Not now that you’ve taken my last name or wear my mark or sleep beside me every damn night. I’m a fucking insecure bastard when it comes to you, Tess. And because I know I’m asking a lot, I’ll even let you go first.”

“Me?” she squeaked. “You want
me
to tattoo
you
? Q, I can draw sharp lines and copy a building, but I’ve never been good at landscape, portrait, or anything other than sterile architecture.”

“Good to know. But I’m not asking you to draw on me. I’m asking you to
write
on me.”

“You obviously haven’t seen my handwriting.”

“As long as it’s legible, I don’t give a fuck.” I pointed at my knuckles. “You can write wherever you want, but I suggest somewhere I can see every day.”

Tess’s gaze fell to my offered limb. “You want me to write on the back of your hand?” She froze. “You’re insane. I’m not coming anywhere near you with something so permanent.”

“Not only will it be permanent, but I also requested the darkest ink available. I want it visible. I want it thick and seen.”

“It means that much to you?”

“You know me well enough that you don’t need an answer to that.”

Her reluctance faded as she stared into my eyes. Love replaced reluctance. Her hurry to come tempered. “In that case, I don’t want to go first. Go ahead.”

“You’re not going to ask where I’m going to tattoo you?”

Her eyes dropped to my t-shirt, no doubt seeing my sparrow and storm design beneath the material. “If it’s half as beautiful as your art, I don’t care.”

“I’m not an artist, Tess.”

“You are to me.”

Not replying, I brought her left hand upward and inserted her ring finger into my mouth.

Her eyes snapped closed as her body leapt on the sheets. The magic wand rested unalive between her spread and bound thighs. “God, Q. You can’t do that if you don’t want me to come.”

My tongue swirled around her finger, tasting salt and orchid-frost that was a scent uniquely Tess. “I can’t?” My teeth nipped her fingertip. “Why not? Could you come like this with nothing else?” Keeping her finger in my mouth, I dropped my free hand and cupped her brashly between her legs. “Or do you need this to be fucked in order to release?”

Her body bucked against me. Her finger hooking inside my mouth as if she could wrench me closer and finish the task I’d started.

My teeth tightened around her wedding ring and diamonds, slowly removing them over her knuckle, thanks to the wetness of my tongue.

She was too focused on my hand on her cunt to pay attention.

Yanking her finger from my mouth and my touch from her pussy, I sat back and spat her rings into my palm. “There…we won’t need those for a while.”

Tess blinked. “What? Why?” Panic flared. “Don’t you want to be married any—”

I slapped a hand over her lips. “Quiet.”

Questions burned on her face as I kept her silent. My cock throbbed as thick desire threaded through my blood. Having her stare at me with such longing and passion almost destroyed my plans, demanding I slide inside her.

“Yes, I want to remain married,
esclave
.” Letting her mouth go, I murmured, “But rings can come off…just like I’ve shown.”

Her cheeks blanched. “I don’t understand.”

“You will.”

Her eyes flashed with small threat of rivalry. She didn’t say a word as I ripped open an antiseptic wipe and smeared it over her ring finger, making sure to wash away my saliva.

Tossing away the finished rag, I grabbed the surgical needle and tore open its sterilized packaging before inserting it into the tattoo gun as I’d been shown. Louis had given me the supplies when I’d popped in to see him last month to update a few feathers on my chest. He’d worked on my torso piece for months. Multiple visits. Long, painful hours while he engraved and coloured my skin with the redemption of my life. Every pinprick of the needle gave me value for the women I'd rescued, fixating my anger onto the fucking cocksuckers who’d stolen them.

Louis had become a friend even though we never spoke about anything beyond trivial things.

Tess whispered, “The last time I was tattooed, I made the choice to add 58 to my wrist. The first time, the trafficker took away my choice with a barcode, and now, you’re going to make that choice on your own.”

I froze.

Shit, I hadn’t thought of it that way. I hadn’t asked her permission. Stupidly, I thought she’d find the notion romantic. She’d let me brand her, after all. This was nothing compared to that.

Tess flinched as my eyes fell to the modified barcode and sparrow on her wrist. Compared to Louis’s mastery, the artwork was juvenile. One day, I’d have it lasered off, and if she wanted it redrawn, I’d gladly let Louis replicate the design. Then again, the thought of anyone going near her with sharp needles threatened to send me into a blood rage.

No one else was allowed to hurt her.

Only me.

There I went again, taking control of her body and skin. Something that was hers to ink, not mine.

My shoulders fell. “I don’t—”

Her free hand clutched my wrist tightly. “No, I want you to. It’s a full circle, Q. Don’t you see? I was tattooed to find you, tattooed after I lost you, and now, not only do I belong to you and you to me, but you’re the one who will do it.”

My heart fucking squeezed. “You don’t mind my scrawl?”

She smiled. “Your penmanship is impeccable. I wouldn’t trust anyone else.” Her spread leg pressed against mine in a blatant show of acceptance. “On one condition.”

“Name it.”

“I get to do the same to you.”

A mark for a mark.

A brand for a brand.

I fisted the gun. “That was already part of my terms.”

“Oh, right.” A devious smirk twisted her lips. “I forgot because some torturer didn’t let me come and my brain is broken.”

“You behave and I’ll let you come. Deal?”

“Deal.” She stretched in her bindings. “By all means,
maître
, tattoo away.”

I didn’t say anything, mentally preparing for the skin graffiti I’d grace her with. I already knew what I’d write. I just hoped I could pull it off so it didn’t look like a four-year-old did it.

Tapping the ink vial, I made sure the gun was operational. “Are you ready to become my canvas,
esclave
?”