Jenny's Choice (Apple Creek Dreams #3) (8 page)

“As are we, wife. Our son-in-law is gone, and our girls are left without a husband or a father. It’s a dreadful thing. Jonathan was a good man. He was selfless in his concern for Jenny and so respectful of us.
Ja, es ist ein schreckliches, schreckliches Ding
, a terrible thing.”

Then the morning stillness was broken by the faint sound of a train whistle. Jerusha leaned forward again and looked down the tracks. In the distance she could see the train coming—yellow against the harvested fields that were slowly browning as deep fall approached.

“She’s coming, Reuben. She’s almost here!” Jerusha clutched her husband’s arm as the train began to slow for its final approach into the village.

Diesel engines hummed, wheels clattered over tracks, and then
the train pulled slowly into the station. Two conductors swung down off the platforms between cars and began to assist people off. Jerusha scanned the faces of the people clambering down off the train.

There! There they were—Jenny in her white
kappe
, her face pale and sad against her dark dress. Jerusha waved and then waved again. Jenny looked up, and a wan smile broke the stern set of her face. She turned to the steps and lifted Rachel down.

Jerusha watched as Jenny pointed Rachel toward them. A big smile crossed Rachel’s face, and then she ran to them.

Grossmudder! Grossdaadi!

She bounced into Jerusha’s arms as her grandmother covered her face with kisses.

Jenny walked up to them. She was tired, and her face was drawn. Reuben took two steps forward and wrapped Jenny in a hug.

And then it was as Jenny had foreseen it. Her mama fussed over Rachel while she surrendered to the safety of her papa’s strong arms.

“Oh, Papa,” she said, her voice breaking.

“I know, Jenny…I know.”

Reuben held his daughter close, his love for her warming Jenny’s very soul, as though she had been wandering out in the cold for a long time and now finally found her way to a fire that began to thaw her frozen heart. She stayed there for long moments. Then there was a light touch on her arm. She turned to Jerusha while Reuben reached down and picked up Rachel. The little girl squealed with delight as her grandfather swung her in the air and then pulled her close. Reuben walked away a few steps and talked with Rachel while Jenny stood close to Jerusha and held her hand. Her mama’s face worked with emotion as she reached up and softly stroked Jenny’s cheek. Something released deep inside her as she felt the gentle touch. She choked back a sob, trying to keep her composure. Then the love in Jerusha’s eyes broke
through her shell of grief, anger, and fear, and she collapsed into her mother’s arms.

“Mama! Mama!”

Convulsive sobs shook her body as Jerusha pulled her close and began to cry with her. Jenny pulled herself as close as she could. And then she was in her place of safety and salvation—the place that had been her refuge since the night Jerusha held Jenny against her in the heart of the storm so many years before. And Jenny felt her mother’s heart—the strong, sure beating that spoke to her without words and told her she was home.

The two women stood together for a long time as Jenny’s grief ran its course. Then Jenny reached into her pocket and pulled out a handkerchief.

“I’ve been carrying these with me for times like this.”

Jerusha pulled out one of her own and dabbed at her eyes as she smiled through her tears.

“I know.”

As they stood together, a police cruiser with the Wayne County Sheriff’s emblem pulled into the lot close to the tracks. An officer got out. He was a well-built, stocky man with a thick shock of sandy hair. He walked toward them with the upright bearing of a soldier and waved at Jerusha and Jenny.

“Uncle Bobby…” Jenny said. “I should have known he would come to meet us.”

Sheriff Bobby Halverson walked up to Reuben and smiled at the little girl in his friend’s arms. Rachel looked at him shyly and hid herself against Reuben’s chest. Reuben stuck out his hand and said, “Hello, Bobby. Thanks for coming by.”

“Well, I haven’t seen Jenny for a long time, and…say, who’s this little one?”

“This is Rachel, our
grossdochter
…our granddaughter. Rachel, this is our friend Sheriff Bobby. I’ve known him for a long time.”

The two men exchanged a glance that was born in hard times and deep friendship. Bobby held out a hand to Rachel, but she shyly snuggled closer to Reuben, so Bobby turned to Jenny and pulled her into a hug. As he held her he spoke quietly into her ear.

“How are you?”

Jenny hugged Bobby back. Then she looked up into his caring face.

“I’m doing all right, Uncle Bobby. It’s hard, but the Lord is with me, and I’m home now with Mama and Papa…and you.”

“I’d like to take you all to lunch if you’d like.”

Jenny looked at Jerusha and then turned back to Bobby. “If you don’t mind, I think I’d just like to go home. It’s been a long ride, and I need to get unpacked.”

“Why don’t you come join us for supper tomorrow night, Bobby?” Jerusha asked. “That will give us time to get our girls settled in.”

Bobby smiled and said, “I was kind of hoping to get an invite to partake in some of your home cooking, Jerusha. An old bachelor like me can only take so many meals at Eileen’s on the Square. What time?”

“Make it about seven,” Reuben interjected. “I’ll be home from the fields and have time to get cleaned up.”

“I thought you folks had finished the harvest,” Bobby said.

“We have,” Reuben replied. “But we have a new
bisschop
, and he needed help adding a feed storage room to his barn, so we’ve been working on that.”

“Well, okay. I’ll see you there at seven. Do you need a ride home?”

“No thanks, Bobby. I’ve got the big buggy, and Jenny doesn’t have that many suitcases. We’re fine.”

Bobby gave Jenny another hug and then chucked Rachel under the chin. She grinned but ducked away.

“I’ll see you later, little one. And I guarantee that you won’t be shy with me much longer.”

Rachel peeked out curiously from her
grossdaadi
’s arms as Bobby turned and walked away.

“Where are your things?” Reuben asked.

There were a few bags still stacked on the platform, and Jenny saw her trunk and her suitcase among them. “Over there, Papa,” she said.

Reuben handed Rachel off to Jerusha and picked up Jenny’s luggage. He led the way off the platform to the buggy parked at the depot’s hitching rack. The black horse looked up and snorted as the family climbed into the buggy. Reuben strapped the bags to the back. Then he untied the horse, got in, and gave the reins a shake. The horse started off slowly down Depot Street, headed for the Springer farm.

“He knows the way home,” Reuben said.

“I wish I did,” Jenny said.

Jerusha glanced at Reuben and then pulled Jenny close.

The sun was high up in the sky when the buggy turned into the drive leading to the Springer house. Jenny looked around her. Everything was exactly the same as the last time she had visited—the little white house looked clean and neat, the green lawn was edged by her mama’s rose gardens and hydrangeas, the front porch held the white swing where she sat with Jonathan many years before, wondering if they would ever be together…nothing had changed, and that felt safe to Jenny.

She got out of the buggy and walked across the lawn to the front porch. Off to the right of the porch was the path that led to the bridge across the small creek that flowed between the Springer farm and the Lowensteins’ place. As she looked, she saw a familiar figure crossing the bridge. The tall man waved to her.

“Hello, Jenny! Welcome home!”

The words pierced Jenny’s heart like quick pinpricks, but she smiled bravely and waved back as Henry Lowenstein climbed up the steps.

“Hello, Henry. Good to see you. Is your family well?”

“Well, my pop’s getting up there, but he still goes to work every morning. He’s going to be around for a long time…” Henry paused. “I just came by to see you and to tell you how sorry I am about your loss.” He pulled his old baseball cap off and stood awkwardly, holding it in his hands.

Jenny touched Henry on his arm. “Thank you, Henry. That means a lot to me. You’ve been my friend ever since I was a little girl, and I know how much you care for our family.”

Henry shifted from one foot to the other. “If there’s anything I can do, Jenny, you can count on me.”

Jenny gave Henry a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. Henry blushed and looked down at his feet.

“Henry, you’ve been helping my family for as long as I can remember, and I love you for it. Your friendship is what I need the most right now. Just to be home among people I love and who love me…that’s what will set everything right with me. Now come and meet Rachel.”

Rachel was standing on the porch, looking at something up by the ceiling.

“Look, Mama. A pretty butterfly,” she said, pointing up.

And indeed, a large yellow butterfly was struggling in a spider web in the corner of the porch roof.

“Can I help him, Mama, before the spider gets him?”

“I don’t know how to get up there, Rachel.”

“Oh, yes you do, Jenny,” said Henry.

He reached down and picked up Rachel and lifted her high over his head. “Up, Rachel, up we go.”

Rachel reached up and gently extricated the butterfly from the web. Henry set her down gently, and she walked to the porch rail and released the beautiful little creature.

“Henry, you used to do that with me when I was a little girl,” Jenny said, remembering.

“And with your sister, Jenna, too,” he added.

“I remember, Henry,” Jerusha said with a smile as she walked up on the porch. “Jenna loved it when you put her up to the ceiling. ‘Up, Henny,’ she would say.”

“That little girl would have kept me out here all day, putting her up and down, if I would have let her.”

Rachel was listening and she looked up at her mama. Then she smiled and took hold of Henry’s hand. “Up, Henny,” she said with a grin as she lifted her arms.

Henry smiled too, and took the little girl in his strong hands and lifted her up. Rachel shrieked with joy as she soared toward the ceiling.

Jenny felt disconnected as she watched Henry with her daughter. Some things never change. But some do.

She sighed and walked into the house.
Through the front door, past the fireplace, down the hall, and into my room…I’ve walked this way a thousand times before in happier days.

Jenny stood in the doorway and looked in. This room had been her refuge all her life, the only place on earth where she felt totally safe. Every night when she was growing up she knew that her big, strong papa was right in the next room, and her mama was only a call away. That knowledge had kept her secure through all her years. But she didn’t feel secure now. She felt as if she were standing on a slippery slope with nothing to hang onto as she slid toward an abyss.

Jenny put down her luggage and knelt by the oiled oak chest that her papa had made. He had rubbed it with mineral oil, and the smell was woven into the fabric of her childhood.

Like the linseed oil smell that permeated our bedroom…

She put her head down on the wood and closed her eyes. If only the familiar smell of the chest could somehow take her back in time to the small world of childhood—those wonderful days of innocence when life was Apple Creek and the barn and the land and this house, when her mama and papa and Jesus were the center of all things and life passed not in days and hours but in smells and discoveries and colors and seasons, and all her life was surrounded by joy and peace and love.

She got up, went to the window, pulled the roller shade down, and then rolled it back up again. She flung herself down on the bed, buried her face in the pillow, and groaned. She needed Jonathan. But there was no Jonathan, no way to retreat to her childhood, and all she had was the awful, piercing pain in her heart.

O Gott, make this cup pass from me!

C
HAPTER
E
IGHT

Grief

I
T WAS A COLD, BITING
day in late October. The weather had been stormy off and on since Jenny’s arrival in Apple Creek, and everyone at the Springer house had been forced to stay inside. Jerusha cared for Rachel with a grandmother’s joy and helped to lift that responsibility off Jenny’s shoulders.