Jessie (27 page)

“I didn't instantly feel better if that's what you mean, but I had peace. Each time my mind prayed, even in the worst of the pain, I knew peace.”

Jessie hadn't expected this and was surprised. She even had more questions she wanted to ask, but Seth's eyes were closed again. Leaving the room, she knew he would have a better night, which meant she would too. But unlike Seth, there was no peace for her. Questions rolled through her mind, and she didn't feel she had answers for any of them.

“You look better,” Rylan said when he visited the next afternoon. Seth was awake and sitting up against the pillows and headboard. There was little color in his face, and his messy hair and unshaved face were uncharacteristic for him, but he did look as though he was on the mend.

“I am, thank you. It was a rough one.”

“We've been praying for you,” Rylan said.

“Thank you,” Seth replied, and then realized he'd said that too fast. He wanted to know more. “What did you pray, Rylan?”

“That you would trust God no matter how poorly you felt, and that pleasing Him would be more important even than feeling better.”

The look of surprise and then thoughtfulness on Seth's face was not something Rylan could ignore.

“How did you do?” Rylan asked.

“In the midst of it, I just asked for His help, but now that I can tell I'm getting better, I simply want to feel good enough to get out of this bed.”

“Well, that's an honest feeling, but why do you want to get out of this bed? If it's simply to mend and get past the inconvenience of being sick, you're missing something.”

“There's so much I don't know,” Seth admitted quietly. “I still think more about myself than anyone else.”

“That's a common temptation. God wants to be in the center and we need to get rid of anything that pushes Him out of the center. He won't stand for any other place.”

Seth nodded before saying, “I did remember to thank Him that I was sick, knowing He had a plan.”

“That's good. Keep that up. For however long this has you down, keep thanking God for that plan.”

Rylan might have had something to add to this, Seth could not be sure, but Clancy took that moment to join them. He enjoyed seeing his daughter, and Rylan left before Clancy did, but Seth determined to get back to the pastor on the topic they'd been on. He knew he had more to learn about thankfulness and God's plan, and he knew Rylan was just the man to teach him.

By the time Jessie got to the apartment on Friday night, the girls were fully ensconced with their father. He was against the headboard of the bed. Hannah had claimed the footboard. Clancy was somewhere in the middle.

“You can walk with us if you want,” Hannah was saying.

“I'd like that. What time do you have to be there?”

“Mama always sends us,” the older girl answered. “I don't know the time.”

“Where do I send you?” Jessie asked.

“To school! Seth is going to walk with us.”

“That's nice of him. Does he know you'll talk his ear off?” Jessie teased Hannah, and the little girl smiled.

“Did you talk about it?” Clancy suddenly asked. “Is Seth going to live here?”

Seth's eyes naturally swung to Jessie, but that lady was looking at her daughters. All plans to see what Seth would say flew from her head.

“I'll discuss it with him tonight, and you're not to ask me about it 40 times. Come on now and help me with supper.”

Seth found himself alone just moments later, wondering what else he'd missed in the last four days.

“What do I do now?” Heather asked during supper. “Sunday is coming. How do I proceed from here, knowing what I know?”

“What do you want to do?” Becky asked.

“Yes, Heather,” Jeanette added. “Are you interested in Nate?”

“If you mean in a personal relationship, I don't know, but I'm not going to be able to find out unless I talk with him.” Heather paused and went on. “And that brings up another point. How is he interested in me when he doesn't know me?”

“He's watched you, Heather,” Jeanette said, “and your reputation has gone before you. He might find that you don't really share the same likes and interests, but he's willing to get close because he can see how special you are.”

“You want her to marry Nate, don't you, Jeanette?” Becky asked.

“If she falls in love with him, yes. I think they would make a wonderful couple.”

“But then she'll move from here,” Becky added quietly.

No one commented or answered. It was too soon for such thoughts, but the very nature of the conversation meant that it would have to come up again at some point. It simply wasn't a topic that anyone at the supper table wanted to think about.

“I think I can come down in the morning, Jessie,” Seth said when all got quiet that evening. Seth had made it to the living room for supper and was still sitting on the sofa. “I might not make it all day, but I can give you a little help.”

“Camille is coming in the afternoon, so don't overdo.”

“I don't know if I'll have much choice. I feel as weak as a child,” Seth said in all sincerity. At the moment he didn't know where the strength would come from to walk to the bedroom, let alone down the stairs come morning.

“I think you should live here.”

Seth's mind had been drifting—he'd barely been aware of Jessie's presence—but this certainly brought his eyes to her.

“Where did that come from?” Seth asked quietly, hoping she couldn't see the harsh beating of his heart.

“The girls want you to. They want it very much.”

“I admire the way you take care of our daughters and put them first, Jessie, but you have to think of yourself too.”

“I think I'll be all right,” she said, her mouth even turning up in one corner. “If I need an evening to myself, I'll take a walk or suggest one to you.”

Seth waited until her eyes came back to him and then said, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“What about the bed?” Seth asked, details coming to mind. “I can't just take the girls' bed from them.”

“They sleep with me and have for years. They keep their things in that room but never sleep there.”

Seth hadn't known this. He wasn't sure it was such a great idea, but that would be the last thing he could say.

“And I still have questions, Seth,” Jessie went on. “I still want to know things.”

“I haven't forgotten.”

Jessie nodded. She knew what he meant. She didn't want the girls to know that they were talking about things from the past, but short of setting up a time to meet, there was no opportunity during the day to talk. And if she set up a meeting, the girls would know. They missed little that their mother did. Jessie had resigned herself to waiting until they were back in school all day, but it looked as though now she and Seth would be able to talk in the evenings.

For a moment she thought about him being there every night and didn't know if she liked that idea. Knowing that the girls would be thrilled was a huge help. She might need to remind herself of that in the days to come.

“He's going to live with us,” Hannah whispered the moment her mother shut the door on Saturday night. “Mama said.”

“Seth is?” Clancy whispered back, wondering why no one told her.

“Yes.”

“What about Bri and Danny?”

“I don't know. They have to stay with Pastor Rylan, but Seth is going to live here.”

The bedroom was silent for a moment, but Clancy wasn't done. “Will they kiss like Bri and Pastor Rylan?” she whispered back.

“I don't think so. I don't think Mama likes kissing.”

“She kisses us,” Clancy reasoned.

“That's different. Mothers are supposed to kiss.”

Clancy had to think on this one, but it was getting hard. Saturdays were big days. The store was always full, and sometimes she had to help. A jaw-popping yawn escaped her just as she thought of another question for Hannah, but she drifted off before she could voice it.