Jet: A Marked Men Novel (21 page)

Granted, that idea made me want to throw up, but I was nothing if not realistic. “I understand that Asa is a piece of shit and doesn’t deserve me going to the trouble to help him. I hate him most of the time, hate the way he made me feel about myself when I was younger, but my mama did anything, and I do mean anything, that was in her power to keep us together and keep us in a warm, dry place. I don’t owe her much, but I do owe her trying to save Asa from himself this one last time.”

Shaw grabbed my hand and pressed her palm hard against it so that I understood what she was going to say to me was serious and close to her heart.

“You don’t have to sacrifice Jet for Asa, when it’s clear one could love you forever and the other just wants to use you for whatever it is you can do for him. You know, I’m speaking from experience.”

I did know, but I also knew that if Silas got his hands on Asa and handed him over to whomever he had stolen the book from, it was going to end badly. I really didn’t care what happened to Asa, but if I could spare my mom from having to suffer the heartbreak and indignity of burying her son in a pauper’s grave, I was going to do it. And the truth was I couldn’t just watch him die. The added bonus was I got to keep Asa away from everyone I cared about, Jet first and foremost.

“And if anything happens to you, if so much as an eyelash gets damaged while you are messing around trying to clean up your brother’s mess, I won’t hesitate to call the police. You better let him know that I will tell Rule all about this, so he better beware of a whole lot of pissed off coming from the guys, when they hear the entire story. He cares about you and he doesn’t take kindly to people he cares about being manipulated and maneuvered unfairly by family.”

I rubbed my hand across my forehead and tried to get all the stampeding thoughts in line. It was nice to know I had an entire army of tattooed and decidedly dangerous dudes to take up for me, but it was also frustrating that nobody understood I just needed to handle Asa in my own way. If he was responsible for the theft at Jet’s studio, I was going to destroy him myself.

Shaw dug around in her purse and pulled out an envelope and slapped it down on the table between us. I looked at it like it was a live snake, ready to bite me. I couldn’t believe she was just going to hand over that amount of money, that she wasn’t going to make me sign an agreement in blood guaranteeing I would pay her back. Her eyes were locked on mine and I hated the sympathy that was shimmering there.

“I took a cash advance from one of my credit cards. Dad’s been so wrapped up in the divorce and trying to cover his ass, that he won’t notice it for a while.”

I gulped and had to swallow back the sudden rise of bile in my throat. It all felt so dirty and wrong.

“I’ll pay you back.”

She waved a hand, like twenty grand was only twenty dollars. “Eventually. If you want to pay me back sooner, get your head out of your ass and fix things with Jet. Tell him why you’re doing what you’re doing; he deserves to know before he leaves.”

That made me suck in a breath and grit my back teeth together. She got to her feet and leaned over the small table to kiss me on the cheek.

“I love you Ayd. I really hope you get this all fixed before it isn’t just broken, but ruined.”

I watched her walk out of the coffee shop and felt the world tilt on its axis. I had to blink rapidly to avoid the darkness that was starting to swirl around the outside of my vision. Everything, and I do mean everything, I had worked for, the person I had tried so hard to become, was mocking me. She was looking at me from that trailer in Woodward and reminding me that no matter how much distance I put between me and her, I was always going to be Ayden Cross, white trash, and perpetual fixer of all wrongs done by the Cross kids. I took the money off the table, added it to the five grand I had pulled out of my own account, and waited for the menacing figure who had been seated across the coffee shop the entire time I sat there with Shaw to make his way over to me. I wouldn’t put it past Silas to take the money and then demand to know where Asa was, so I had to put together a plan that kept everyone safe.

Silas looked even worse out of the dim light of the bar bathroom and I hated the way he ran appraising eyes over me.

“Where’s your bother?”

I wrapped my hands back around the coffee and met his stare head-on.

“I don’t know, but I’m going to find him and get the book back.”

He didn’t say anything for a long moment and I saw his gaze flicker to the bag on the floor where I had stashed the money.

“You think you can work this so he gets outta Dodge, scot-free?”

I shook my head a little.

“I’ll get the book for you, but Asa is off-limits. He gets to go to Canada, Mexico, wherever the hell he ends up, and you leave me and my mama alone.”

“The people he stole from aren’t the kind of people that work that way. Retaliation in blood, Ayd. You’re smart enough to know that. Hell, you were always too smart for the shit Asa dragged you into. None of us could ever figure out what you were doing there, not that we didn’t appreciate it while you were. Probably the only chance most of us were ever gonna get to have a piece as hot as you.”

It made me want to hurl, but I just rolled my eyes. I knew how to get guys like Silas to give me what I wanted. I could flirt, could make suggestive come-ons, could take him to bed and make him forget his own name, but the part of me that refused to let that Ayden back just gave him a bored look and tapped short fingernails on the table.

“If you want the book, that’s the deal.”

“How do you even know Asa still has it, or that he’ll give it to you?”

I didn’t, but my brother wasn’t the only skilled liar in the family.

“He will, otherwise I’m handing him over to you to do with what you will. I didn’t ask for him to show up and get his sticky fingers all in my perfectly nice life here. If Asa doesn’t want to play ball with me, he can take his chances with you and the bikers.”

He narrowed flinty eyes at me. “I’m going to need some kind of insurance.”

I didn’t even act like I was surprised by that. I bent down and dug out the five grand. I shoved it at him, careful to make sure no part of him touched me.

“This is the last favor I’m doing for Asa. If he wants to steal and tangle with people who would kill him just as soon as they would look at him, I’m done. I’ll get the book, Silas, but if you follow me, if you harass my roommate or my mama anymore, I’m telling you that there are plenty of people here in this town that are willing to make sure you never make it back to Kentucky.”

He watched me without blinking. I think he was weighing how serious I was, and considering the fact that I felt like I was leaking poison and pain all over the place, he must have seen whatever it was he was looking for.

“I need the book by tonight.”

I narrowed my eyes.

“I’ll call you when I have it.”

“Time is running out for all of us, Ayd.”

I scooped up my bag and pushed away from the table.

“It’s a good thing I’ve always been fast then.” I made him write a contact number down on a napkin before leaving the coffee shop.

When I got to the Jeep, the first thing I did was call home. I asked my mom a hundred and one times if she had anyway for me to contact Asa, but she stonewalled me at every turn. I tried to let her know just how bad things were, that she might be in danger, but as usual she just blew me off and told me that moving to the city had made me paranoid.

I called the strange Kentucky number on my phone over and over again. I even texted it a couple of times, but there was no response. I was going to freak out, and have a hissy fit because I couldn’t start to fix things if I couldn’t get my hands on Asa in the first place. I was about to bang my head on the steering wheel and scream in frustration, when a lightbulb went off. I called Adam with shaking hands, and felt even worse when I heard the genuine pleasure in his voice when he answered.

“Hey, Ayd. I didn’t think I would be hearing from you anymore. Is everything okay?”

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on the steering wheel. I felt so cold, and not from the chilly Denver weather, just cold and frozen from how everything in my once perfectly normal life was going.

“No, no, nothing is okay.” I didn’t mean to blurt that out, but I couldn’t control myself.

“Uh, is there anything I can do for you? Are you all right?”

This guy was just inherently nice, just a good guy all around and it made me feel even worse that I just couldn’t return his affection. It also made it pretty clear that whatever I had with Jet was just so much bigger, so much more consuming than anything I was ever going to have with anyone else, and I had just walked away from it. My heart folded in on itself and made me gasp in acute pain.

“I just need to know if you’ve heard from my brother. He’s a pretty friendly guy and I figured since he was in town, he might have made good on his threat to get in touch with you if he was bored.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone and I had to restrain myself from tossing it against the windshield.

“Is that all? You sound pretty bad, Ayd.”

“Things with Jet didn’t exactly work out, and I’m having a hard time with it right now.”

He cleared his throat and it rasped across my skin like a bunch of tiny razors.

“I have to say I’m kind of surprised to hear that. As much as I wanted things to work out between us, I think it was always pretty clear that there was someone else you would rather be with. I just figured out it was him on Valentine’s Day, but I feel like I should have seen it sooner.”

“Unfortunately, things don’t always go the way we plan. But seriously, I really need to find Asa and he didn’t tell me where he was staying. I can’t get him on the phone.”

Adam was quiet again and I found myself holding my breath. Finally, he sighed so heavily that I could feel it hit me through the phone line.

“I met him at a hotel across the highway a few days ago for a drink. He’s staying at the one over by the stadium. I like your brother, Ayden. He seems like a really nice guy and he says he’s just worried about you being out here all alone, without any family to watch out for you.”

Oh, Asa was the nicest guy in the world all right, when he wanted something from you, and the only thing he was worried about was how I was going to help him out of his latest jam.

“Did he ask you for money?”

If Adam had already played the role Asa had scoped him out for, I was going to be screwed. There was no way he was going to stick around and barter with me if he already had cash in hand.

Adam sighed again and this time it annoyed me. Granted I would probably always feel bad for wasting his time for so long, but I had life-and-death matters at hand, and I needed him to be on board with things, and the sooner the better.

“No. He did ask how much you were working and a bunch a questions about what your days looked like. Like I said, I think he’s just concerned about you. He made it sound like you don’t make too much of an effort to stay in touch with your family back home.”

I could hear the disapproval in his tone, but I didn’t let it bother me. Adam had never even gotten close to the heart of me, so it was all right that he thought I was just a bad sister and a bad daughter. Things were beginning to be clear to me now. All the parts of me that I had hated, and had buried so far down, were the parts that were responsible for me being all the great things I was today. If wonderful people like Shaw and Cora and a guy like Jet could care about me, then both parts of me deserved a break, finally.

“Okay, thanks, Adam. You take care.”

“Hey, Ayd.” All I wanted to do was hang up and go find Asa, but I couldn’t do that to him, not when he had never done anything but care about me. “When you’re ready, when things with the rocker don’t seem as painful, maybe give me a call.”

My hand clenched reflexively on the phone. The idea of going back to Adam, that he still wanted me, should have made me giddy. He was the picture-perfect mate for my dream future, but the thought of being with anyone who didn’t have black-velvet eyes and a voice that made me quiver and shake, made my skin crawl. Jet was going to be it for me, and I was just going to have to learn to live with the fact that I had let him go.

“Thanks, Adam, but I don’t think I’m going to be ready for any kind of relationship anytime soon.”

“Well, even if you need a friend, I’m here.”

I ended the call and tossed the phone onto the passenger seat. I felt turned inside out but things were bright and clear, and the direction I had to go was sharp and defined. For the first time since I came to Denver, I felt like I wasn’t living a lie.

I drove across town to the other side of the interstate, where all the hotels and motels next to Sports Authority field were located. The entire way, I kept an eye on the rearview mirror to make sure Silas wasn’t following me. The hotels here weren’t as nice as the places downtown, but they were right up Asa’s alley. I found the hotel Adam had mentioned and went inside. I knew no one would just give me my brother’s room number, but luckily I had watched him enough to know that if there was a pretty girl behind the counter, she would undoubtedly have fallen victim to his charms by now.

There was a redhead who looked a couple years younger than me who fit the bill perfectly. She looked fresh-faced and sweet, the perfect victim for all of Asa’s machinations. I plastered a pleasant smile on my face and waited until she was alone at the desk. I crossed my arms on the counter and tried to look as innocent and unthreatening as possible. I made sure my accent was on in full force so that there would be no mistaking that Asa and I were related.

“Hey there. I’m supposed to be meeting my brother here. I just got into town and I forgot what room he’s staying in. Do ya think ya can help me out?”

I saw her look at me in surprise. The eyes were enough that anyone would know Asa and I were brother and sister, but the different hair color could be misleading. She bit her lip and looked from side to side.