Jezebel (24 page)

She continued to defend her actions to Traynor. “I didn't do anything that any of those hypocrites wouldn't have done to you. You don't think they were checking into your closet for skeletons—trying to discover your weaknesses?”

“And now you've given them all the ammunition they'll ever need, Jessie Belle. Because of you, I'll have to take myself out of the candidacy.”

“No, you don't,” she argued. “Traynor, you're still favored to win. Nobody will say anything. I'll make sure of it.”

“Don't you get it, Jessie Belle?” His voice rose up an octave. “You've done enough. Just stop.”

Traynor walked briskly into the bedroom with Jessie Belle on his heels. She watched as he pulled out a suitcase and laid it open on the bed.

“Where are you going?” Jessie Belle demanded.

“I'm not going anywhere,” Traynor stated.
“You are.”

Her mouth dropped open in shock. What did he mean that she was leaving? “Excuse me?”

“Jessie Belle, I think we need some time apart. I'm staying here, but I want you to go home. I just can't be around you right now.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “You're sending me away?”

He nodded. “It's for the best.”

“I don't agree,” she countered. “How do you think it's gonna look to everybody if I suddenly leave?”

“I really don't care,” Traynor responded. “I don't want you here, Jessie Belle.”

“How can you talk to me this way?”

“After everything you've done—it's through the grace of God that I'm even talking to you at all.”

Traynor's words cut her like a knife.

“Tell me something. When you leave here…will you be coming home to me and Holt?”

“I don't know,” Traynor responded. “I feel as if I don't know you, Jessie Belle. I don't think I can ever trust you again.”

Wiping away her tears with her hands, Jessie Belle said, “I'm sorry, Traynor. Please don't do this to me.”

“I'm not doing anything to you, Jessie Belle. I just want you out of my sight. Right now I can't stand to even look at you.”

He was being so cold and distant toward her. Traynor didn't seem remotely like the man she'd been married to all these years. This man standing in front of her was a complete stranger. Her Traynor would never treat her like this.

“You're angry and you have every right to be, but, Traynor…honey, I'll be a better wife to you. I won't mess up again. Just give me another chance. Please.”

“A car will be here to pick you up shortly. You don't want to miss your flight.”

T
raynor watched the shiny black Town Car pull off with Jessie Belle inside. She was on her way to the airport.

He was heartsick.

How could she be so manipulative? Girls…blackmail…I don't know this woman
.

Traynor thought about all the things his father and aunt had told him about the woman he married. While he'd ignored the gossip during his visit to Mayville, they had not. They both tried to dissuade him from marrying Jessie Belle until he spent more time getting to know her. After all, she'd been a virgin when he married her, so Traynor knew for sure that some of the stuff said about her was false.

In the back of his mind, Traynor recalled the words his aunt had whispered in his ear, and shook his head. Jessie Belle couldn't have tricked him into believing that she'd been a virgin. He saw the blood.

His aunt told him about women using tiny packets of blood to conceal the truth of their promiscuity. He didn't want to believe that Jessie Belle had done something like that to him.

She might not be totally innocent, but she wouldn't do anything like that. She had no way of knowing that he would fall in love with her and want to marry her. He didn't doubt she'd been a flirt, but she wasn't as manipulative as all that.

Still, I should've listened to them and taken time to really get to know Jessie Belle
.

It was too late now.

Lord, what do I do now? My wife is a madam. She runs a stable of girls. I'm a preacher—a man of God. How could I not know? Am I really that stupid?

Traynor felt the sting of betrayal. “How could You let me marry such a manipulative woman? Why didn't You give me some type of sign, Lord?” He instantly repented his words.

“Satan, get behind me,” he uttered. “Forgive me, Heavenly Father. I rushed into a marriage with Jessie Belle. I should've taken time out to really get to know the person I was marrying.”

Truth be told, Traynor hadn't taken time to consult the Lord when he proposed to Jessie Belle. Sure, he'd heard some of the rumors about her when he stayed at the rooming house, but he ignored them—he couldn't believe his wife capable of all they were saying.

Sampson stopped by his hotel room to check on him.

“You okay, Traynor?”

“As well as can be. I sent Jessie Belle home. I thought it best under the circumstances.”

Sampson agreed.

“Did you talk to her about it?”

“It was a misunderstanding, but I still wanted her to go home,” Traynor lied. “Sampson, I'm dropping out of the running for ECC president. I just think it's best.”

“You don't have to do that, Traynor. Man, I got your back. James isn't gonna open his mouth about this.”

“You didn't blackmail him, did you?” Traynor felt sick to his stomach.

“No, I just think he shouldn't go around making accusations without proof. I had a little talk with that girl Chrissy. She told me herself that she never told him that lie about Jessie Belle. She said she'd testify to that in a court of law.”

“Really?” Traynor was surprised. He couldn't help but wonder why the sudden change of heart. Had Jessie Belle threatened her?

A sickening thought occurred to him. Surely his wife hadn't arranged for Chrissy to be beaten up.

In the morning session Traynor tried to focus on what John Winters was saying, but he couldn't. His mind was on his marital troubles and everything Jessie Belle had done during their marriage.

He put a hand to his forehead.

A tension headache was forming.

“You okay?” Sampson whispered.

Traynor nodded. “I think I'm going up to my room and lie down for a while.”

Divorcing Jessie Belle was at the forefront of his mind. It was clear that she couldn't be trusted. But before he took steps toward divorce, Traynor had to consider what God would have him do.

Jesus was confronted one day about the question of divorce and remarriage by the Pharisees and He told them God's original plan never included divorce, but He permitted it on the grounds of adultery.

Jessie Belle had not been unfaithful.

If she had, he didn't know anything about it.

So was divorce wrong in his situation?

It is, unless Jesus lied
.

But Traynor had been at New Salem Baptist Church long enough to know that its members frowned upon a divorced pastor. He would be committing career suicide if he left Jessie Belle. No doubt he could pastor at another church, but Traynor felt at home at New Salem.

“Lord, what do You want me to do?” he whispered. “I need You to make it plain. Please tell me if I should walk away from my wife.”

Jessie Belle sat in Mary Ellen's kitchen, wiping away her tears.

“So why did you do it?” She handed Jessie Belle a tissue.

“I was just trying to help Traynor win, Mary Ellen. You know how these things work. People are always looking for dirt on the candidates. I wanted my husband on even ground.”

“It was wrong, Jessie Belle. You
do
know that?”

“He was so angry and disappointed with me.”

“Jessie Belle, you can understand why, can't you?” Mary Ellen questioned. “You may have had good intentions, but it was wrong. I can't believe you actually have girls working for you.”

“I was only trying to help him, Mary Ellen.” She burst into another round of sobs. “I don't want to lose Traynor.”

Mary Ellen embraced her. “I don't think you will, Jessie Belle. It may take some time, but he'll forgive you. Traynor loves you to death.”

Wiping her face with a tissue, Jessie Belle asked, “You really think so?”

Mary Ellen nodded. “Unlike mine…your marriage can be saved.”

“I'm so sorry for coming here with my mess and you're going through your own.”

Mary Ellen gave a slight shrug. “It's alright. I'm getting a divorce and I'm okay with it, Jessie Belle. I was the best wife I could be and Richard didn't appreciate me, so there it is.”

“Traynor's supposed to be home tomorrow.”

“He will be,” Mary Ellen stated. “The man's got to come home, sweetie.”

“I don't think he's coming home to me. He's too angry. Besides, I don't know what to say to him, Mary Ellen. I don't know if I'll ever be able to make Traynor understand that I was only trying to help him. Yeah, I went about it the wrong way. I admit that, but I know that those other candidates were doing the exact same thing.”

“You're probably right, but I think that Traynor's platform was truth and honesty. The ECC has dealt with enough manipulations in the past with Sam McCall. Your husband wanted to separate himself from that type of reputation.”

“He didn't do this. I did. And if Chrissy had kept her big mouth shut, nobody would've known. That's the way it should've been.”

“Jessie Belle, what's done in the dark always comes to light. Didn't your mama ever teach you that?”

“I can't lose my husband, Mary Ellen.”

“Sweetie, it's pretty much out of your hands now.”

“Maybe not,” Jessie Belle said. “New Salem frowns on pastors getting divorced. Traynor loves it there. He has to know that leaving me means he'll have to leave the church.”

“Traynor would preach anywhere he wanted, Jessie Belle. One church won't stop him. What you have to do is be sincere in your apology to him. Sugar, you can't continue doing stuff like this or he will leave you. Traynor won't let you ruin his integrity.”

“Are you divorcing me?” Jessie Belle demanded as soon as Traynor walked into the house. She'd spotted the taxi in the driveway and decided to wait for him at the bottom of the spiral staircase.

“I haven't really decided one way or the other.”

His words wounded her.

“Is life with me so bad?” she wanted to know. “You have this big beautiful house, luxury cars…. You have me. Traynor, do you know how many men envy you? How many of them that would love to be in your shoes?”

“None of this stuff ever really mattered to me,” he responded. “Jessie Belle, you wanted all this—that's a lot of our problem.”

“I said I was wrong, Traynor, and I'm very sorry for what I did. I hope that you'll be able to forgive me.”

“I don't know, Jessie Belle.” Traynor sighed in resignation. “You have no idea how I felt hearing those men talk about you like that. I have never been so humiliated.”

Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her face. “I'm so sorry.”

“I'm going to take myself out of the running. I think it's best even though your secret is safe.”

Jessie Belle blinked rapidly in her surprise. “Safe? What do you mean by that?”

“Chrissy told Sampson that it was all a lie. She claimed that she'd pointed out a woman standing near you as the person she was working for. You and I, however, know the truth.”

“I don't want a divorce, Traynor,” Jessie Belle blurted. “Honey, I love you and I enjoy being your wife, but I'm not going to beg you to stay with me.”

“I'd be surprised if you did,” Traynor responded. “It's beneath you to beg anyone for anything.”

“Is that what you want me to do—beg?”

“All I've ever wanted from you, Jessie Belle, is to be my wife. Be my friend, my lover and my helpmate.”

“I've done my best to do all of that, Traynor. Everything I've ever done is to help you. Traynor, I love you and I'm sorry if I went against you. I only wanted you to be the man I knew you could be. I admit, I went about it the wrong way, but I've learned my lesson. I really have.”

“Jessie Belle, I don't trust you.”

“I deserve that,” she said quietly.

“I need time. I hope you understand.”

She nodded. “I'll make this up to you, Traynor. If you'll give me another chance—I promise I'll behave.”

Traynor didn't respond.

“I'm glad you're home safe and sound,” she murmured.

“Where's Holt?” he asked. “I'd like to see my son.”

“He's upstairs in his room,” Jessie Belle responded. “He's really missed you.”

“I missed him, too.”

Traynor left her and went to spend time with their son.

Jessie Belle could still feel the chill that hung in the air from his words. She'd messed up big-time.

How am I gonna fix my marriage
?

Traynor slept in one of the guest rooms.

The next morning, when she came downstairs to cook breakfast, he was dressed and on his way out of the house.

“You're not going to eat anything before you leave?” Jessie Belle asked.

“I'm not hungry.”

“Traynor…”

“I won't be home until late.”

Jessie Belle ran her fingers through her hair and fought back tears. She hated Traynor's being so upset with her.

“Please don't let him leave me,” she whispered.

Jessie Belle spent most of the morning making sure the house was clean and the laundry done. She and Holt spent the early afternoon in the neighborhood park.

She toyed with the idea of surprising Traynor at the church for lunch but decided to give him space. Jessie Belle didn't want to further antagonize him.

He didn't come home until sometime after nine. Jessie Belle was in bed watching television. She heard him outside the room, but he didn't enter.

She climbed out of bed and slipped on her robe before strolling out of the bedroom. Jessie Belle caught him just as he was about to descend the stairs. “You could've come in and said hello.”

“Yeah, I could have.”

“Traynor, we have to talk. We can't live here in this house together and not talk to each other.”

He walked back toward her and said, “I spent most of the day looking at apartments.”

Jessie Belle gasped in surprise. “You're moving out?”

“I'm considering it.”

“Traynor…”

“We can't live together, Jessie Belle. If I can't trust you—there is no marriage.”

“I'll do whatever you want me to do. Please don't leave me, Traynor. I love you and all I was trying to do was help you.” Jessie Belle burst into tears. “Please don't leave me.”

“Do you think I'm happy about this?” he asked. “I'm not. I don't want my marriage in this kind of turmoil, but I didn't do this to us, Jessie Belle.
You did
.”

“You don't have to move out, Traynor. The only way we can work through this is if we stay here in this house together and try.”