Jilted (18 page)

That, she had found, was a good deal easier to say than to do. Quite recently, she had been afraid that he might have guessed that she was attracted to him. Now, the situation was infinitely worse, for she was in love with Lord Ilam, and thanks to the shameless way in which she had kissed him, he probably knew that as well.

When Ilam arrived at the vicarage the following day, hoping for private words with his aunt and with Eustacia, he found that at least half-a-dozen persons had arrived and were cluttering up her ladyship’s drawing-room. Now that many people had returned from London, and marked their presence by their attendance at the garden party, it seemed that at least half of them wanted to pay their respects to Lady Agatha who, after all, was Ashbourne’s sister. Lady Agatha had her own reasons for wanting to avoid a tête-à-tête with her nephew, so she made no effort to see him on his own.

Eustacia, too, was much occupied, though not by her own design. Miss Granby appeared with two other young ladies, and all three of them wanted to discuss the garden party in detail as well as the forthcoming ball at the Olde Oak.

‘What are you going to wear, Miss Hope?’ asked Miss Barclay, one of the two. A slender, brown-haired young woman of about the same height as Eustacia, she spoke in rather a breathless voice.

‘Yes, do say,’ said the other newcomer. She was about the same height as Miss Granby, but with darker hair and prominent features. ‘Evangeline tells us that you are very stylish, despite never having been to London.’

‘Why do you not take the young ladies up to your room?’ suggested Lady Agatha. ‘Then you will be able to show them what you plan to wear.’ After Eustacia had shown them her gown, which was yet another item from her trousseau, they seemed to want to examine every piece of clothing in her possession.

Later, as they descended the stairs, Miss Granby encouraged Miss Barclay and the other young lady, Miss French, to go on ahead. ‘Come and take a turn with me in the garden,’ said Miss Granby under her breath. ‘I have something very exciting to relate.’

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, the two other young ladies entered the drawing-room and Eustacia could see that Lord Ilam was in there. He glanced up, and their eyes met. She paused briefly, but then Miss Granby pulled at her arm and said, ‘Do come on. I must talk to you in private.’

Eustacia acknowledged his look with an inclination of her head, and hoped that he realized she was already committed to Miss Granby for the time being. She did not know whether to be glad or sorry. Part of her longed to speak to him, even if he wanted to reprimand her again. On the other hand, part of her dreaded the next meeting because of her brazen behaviour towards him.

‘Ah, that’s better,’ said Miss Granby. ‘I didn’t want to speak in front of Amy Barclay. If you tell her anything, you’ve told the entire village.’

‘I’m glad you consider me a safe confidante,’ answered Eustacia. ‘What is it you want to tell me?’

Evangeline waited until they were well out of earshot and said, ‘Do you recall that I told you about a certain gentleman who attracted my interest whilst I was in London?’

Eustacia nodded. ‘Well he is definitely coming to the ball. He wrote me a letter telling me so.’

‘He wrote you a letter?’ Eustacia repeated, reflecting that she had never received a letter from a single gentleman, even from Morrison when they were engaged.

‘You are thinking that Mama would have wanted to read it,’ answered Evangeline carelessly, as if she could guess her thoughts. ‘Mama never interferes in my correspondence. I would not permit it. Anyway, he is coming, and I shall have a chance to see whether I like him as well as I did in London. It will make my life a lot easier, though, if you say that you know him or are acquainted with his family. Mama thinks that you are the model of a
well-brought-up
young lady, and if you say that your family approves of him, or something like that, then she will not make a fuss, and that will make my life a lot easier.’

At this, Eustacia could feel her heart sinking down into her boots. More intrigue! What had she done to deserve this? ‘Evangeline, I don’t see how I can,’ she answered. Then, when Evangeline looked mulish, she said craftily, ‘Your mama is aware that I have lived a very quiet life and never been anywhere. She will want to know how on earth I came to be acquainted with him – especially if he lives in Town.’

‘He doesn’t live in Town all the time,’ answered Evangeline. ‘His parents have an estate somewhere in the far North of England. Please help me,’ she went on in the same sort of wheedling voice that Eustacia had sometimes heard her use with her father.

‘We’ll see,’ temporized Eustacia, feeling a strong sense of kinship with Mrs Granby. She knew she was being weak, but she could not face making anyone else angry at the present time. ‘The most I will promise to do is to say that I don’t know anything against him.’

‘Well I suppose that that will have to do,’ replied Evangeline. Her tone reminded Eustacia very much of that of her music teacher at school on those occasions when she had not found enough time to practise before her lesson.

By the time they got back indoors, Ilam had gone.

‘He barely had a chance to exchange a single word with me,’ Lady Agatha said gleefully after the visitors had all gone and they were both sitting down to luncheon.

‘Did he say that he wanted to see me?’ asked Eustacia, trying to sound casual.

‘He did make an enquiry, but I managed to brush him off,’ said her ladyship in satisfied tones.

Eustacia laid down her fork. ‘Ma’am, do you think that perhaps it might be time to enlist Lord Ilam’s help?’

‘His help?’

‘In resolving the problems concerning your living quarters,’
answered Eustacia measuring her words carefully. ‘After all, he now knows about your plans….’ she allowed her voice to tail off delicately.

Suddenly Lady Agatha looked rather weary. ‘Yes, you do not need to tell me that. Of course Ilam will side with the church. I suppose I should not be surprised, when I consider that his
half-brother
is a clergyman.’

‘A clergyman!’ exclaimed Eustacia.

Lady Agatha gave voice to a brief laugh. ‘Ironic, isn’t it?’

‘Was it his own decision to enter the church?’ Eustacia asked curiously.

‘I’ve no idea,’ replied Lady Agatha. ‘Anyway, to get back to Ilam, he may support the bishop, but he won’t see me without
somewhere
to live.’ She looked about her and uttered a heartfelt sigh. ‘I suppose I always knew that I would have to leave this place. I just wanted to put it off for as long as possible. It can be rather a dull existence here, you know. A fight with the church provided me with a little sport.’

Eustacia reflected that this was yet another piece of information that she would not be passing on to her mother. It occurred to her, however, that Lord Ilam might be the very man to provide his aunt with some kind of occupation which might give her talent for scheming and planning an opportunity to flourish in a legitimate manner.

As for his attitude to herself, though, that might be a different matter. He knew his aunt and all her foibles, and would doubtless forgive her. What would be his attitude to her goddaughter?

She was soon to have her answer. That afternoon, while Lady Agatha was busy with her correspondence, Lord Ilam returned. ‘I didn’t manage to speak to you this morning, and very much wanted to,’ he said to Eustacia after Grimes had shown him into the drawing-room. ‘May we talk now?’

‘I don’t know,’ Eustacia replied, recalling all that had happened on Saturday. She took a few steps away from him, then turned to face him. ‘Are you going to talk, or will you shout at me again?’

‘I wasn’t shouting, I was raising my voice,’ he replied.

‘That’s what men always say,’ she retorted.

‘You knowing so many,’ he murmured.

‘There is no need to talk in that kind of sarcastic way,’ she told him. ‘In any case, you cannot go round implying that I do not know any men, when just a short time ago you have been
harbouring
improper suspicions with regard to your father and myself.’

He flushed. ‘Improper and reprehensible,’ he acknowledged. ‘Forgive me. My only excuse is that I am so used to imagining the worst about Ashbourne’s behaviour. If it is any consolation to you, I would only ever have supposed you to be a victim.’

‘That’s very kind of you, but it does make me sound a little pathetic.’

He laughed. ‘I apologize for that too.’

‘Perhaps none of us can ever look at our parents’ behaviour in an unbiased manner,’ she suggested.

‘Or even our aunts’ behaviour. There is one aspect of my aunt’s schemes that I would like to ask you about; and that is why you ever allowed yourself to become embroiled in them.’

‘I’m truly sorry for that,’ she told him sincerely. ‘There is very little excuse for me. I know how important a parish priest is to his people. I hardly knew Lady Agatha when I arrived, and as a guest in her house, I wanted to please her.’

‘Well yes, but—’

‘There is another reason.’ She told him about how she suspected that Lady Agatha’s friendship with Claire Delahay had damaged her reputation. ‘So you see, I owe her a good deal on my mother’s behalf, as well.’

‘I see what you mean,’ he agreed, ‘although I think that my aunt always was the mistress of her own destiny. You must not make yourself responsible for the consequences of her actions. However, I do understand your motives better, now.’

‘I hope you will believe me to be guilty of thoughtlessness rather than of deliberate malice.’

‘I couldn’t ever believe you to be malicious,’ was his reply. He looked at her steadily, and said, ‘Did anyone tell you yesterday how lovely you looked in that gown?’

‘Possibly,’ she replied airily. ‘One amongst the many men of my acquaintance must have said something.’

He stepped a little closer and caught hold of her hand. ‘Forgive me; I don’t have Ashbourne’s facility for flattering the opposite sex.’

‘I’ve no particular desire for flattery, my lord,’ she answered, feeling a little breathless at his touch. At that moment, she heard Lady Agatha’s footsteps as she came back towards the parlour.

Ilam heard them too. He glanced round swiftly at the direction from which they came, and added in a low tone, ‘Then let me offer you a home truth. To me, you were the loveliest woman present, and if we were sure of not being interrupted, I would return that kiss with interest.’

When Lady Agatha appeared in the doorway, Ilam said, ‘Forgive my returning so soon, but I wanted to ask Miss Hope if she would honour me with a dance at the ball.’ He turned to Eustacia, who had half turned away from the door so that her godmother would not see her blushing at Ilam’s audacious words. ‘What do you say, ma’am? Will you dance the first dance with me at the Olde Oak on Thursday?’ He was still holding her hand.

She looked up at him. The echo of the last words he had spoken before Lady Agatha came in seemed to hang in the air. ‘Thank you, my lord, I would like it of all things,’ she said as he raised her hand to his lips.

The ball at the Olde Oak was due to take place on the Thursday of that week. Unlike the garden party, it would not attract
attendance
from the whole village, but many of the farming families would be invited. Eustacia knew that Anna Crossley would be there, and she very much wanted to warn Ilam to be on his guard before the young girl had a further opportunity of making a fool of herself and perhaps exposing herself to the ridicule of her friends. She knew that she really ought to have spoken to him about the matter when he had visited the rectory, but his remark about wanting to return her kiss had driven everything else out of her mind. Even if the subject had occurred to her, she admitted to herself that she would have found it difficult to raise it. She would not have wanted to destroy this rapport which had sprung up between them and which seemed to promise so much more.

She had only one other opportunity of speaking with Ilam before the ball, but the circumstances of their meeting – in the village street, whilst she was walking with Miss Barclay and he was on horseback, ready for a journey – meant that there was no
possibility
of private conversation. A little discreet enquiry revealed the fact that he had gone to Ashbourne on a matter of business.

‘He wants to pack me off to the dower house,’ Lady Agatha told her in long-suffering tones. ‘I expect he’s gone to make
arrangements
.’

‘Has he said so?’ Eustacia asked curiously.

‘Not in so many words,’ answered her godmother, ‘but there’s nowhere else he can put me. I shall be bored out of my skull and
shall probably take to low intrigue in order to entertain myself.’

Thinking of the deceit in which she had found herself embroiled since her arrival, Eustacia barely repressed a shudder.

Despite the anxieties that hovered at the back of her mind, however, Eustacia found herself preparing for the ball on Thursday with a fair degree of excitement. It would after all be the first such event for some time that she had attended as an
unattached
young lady. She had been aware that several young men had been eyeing her with interest at the garden party. Such interest could not help but increase her self-esteem which had taken
something
of a battering through Morrison’s defection.

It was not of any of those young men that she was thinking as she got ready, however, but of Gabriel. If she were honest with herself, she had not really stopped thinking about him since the moment when she had realized that she was in love with him. Unfortunately, although he had made it clear that he desired her, she had no idea whether he returned her feelings. What made the whole business worse was that since she had had no opportunity to talk to him about Anna, she would have to try to do so tonight. Then, he would probably think that she was just making up excuses to find a reason for pursuing him. The forthcoming evening seemed to be likely to provide a large number of
opportunities
for her to embarrass herself.

Still, she reflected, as she surveyed her reflection after Trixie had finished getting her ready, she would at least look her best. Her gown was of a dusky raspberry shade, cut low and trimmed with floss of the same colour. Around her neck was a fine string of pearls which had been presented to her by her father on her
eighteenth
birthday. Her hair shone with copper lights, and Trixie’s clever fingers had contrived a dainty head dress of pink and white flowers and seed pearls.

When she entered the drawing-room, her godmother, who was dressed regally in purple satin trimmed with black lace, eyed her with approval. ‘Claire always did have good taste;’ she said. ‘Come along now. The carriage is at the door.’

Gabriel was walking that evening, but he had sent his carriage for their use. It did seem a little strange to be going in the carriage to the inn down the road, when Eustacia walked more than that distance every fine day, but as Lady Agatha said, it was no good arriving at a ball with muddy shoes and dirty hems and neither lady wanted to appear in pattens before the quality of Derbyshire.

The Olde Oak was a handsome timbered building, constructed in the late sixteenth century. For much of the time, it was larger than the needs of the village warranted, having a handsome upstairs room that was only suitable for large gatherings. On an occasion like this, however, it was felt to be the ideal place. Illingham Hall, of course, had a gallery that was even bigger, and would also have been appropriate, but tradition dictated that as the garden party was hosted by Lord Ilam, the ball should not be his responsibility as well.

On entering the upstairs room at the inn, the ladies from the vicarage noticed that the landlord must have put in every effort to make the place look its best. There were flowers arranged in pedestals at each end of the room, plenty of candles made
everything
look bright and cheerful, and the furniture and panelling shone with the effects of copious amounts of beeswax.

A number of people were already present and the members of the small orchestra, assembled at one end of the room, were trying out various melodies and tuning their instruments. A quick glance around the room assured Eustacia that neither Anna nor Ilam had yet arrived. She joined her aunt as they chatted with some of the other guests, and tried not to look as if she was waiting for
someone
. She knew that Ilam would arrive soon because he had asked to have the first dance with her. Almost certainly, Anna would insist on arriving at the beginning of the event as well. Perhaps, she thought, she could flirt outrageously with Ilam in front of the younger girl. After the conversation that she had had with him at the vicarage, she felt that he just might respond. The idea made her feel rather excited.

By the time the dancing was due to begin, the room was quite
full. There were chairs placed around the edge so that those who were not dancing could sit and talk. Drinks were available in a small room which opened to one side, and refreshments were to be served downstairs in a large dining room at the back of the inn. Eustacia had attended similar local events near her home, and it seemed to her that everything had been arranged very well. Certainly all those who were arriving seemed prepared to enjoy themselves. She knew that a number of them had only lately arrived from London, and were accustomed to attend this event on a regular basis, so she felt sure that the standard of the
entertainment
and catering would be high.

A burst of masculine laughter from the doorway drew her eye, and she saw that Lord Ilam had arrived and was exchanging a laughing comment with two other gentlemen who Eustacia knew had but lately arrived from town. They were both dressed very stylishly in knee breeches, white stockings and dance pumps. Their linen was snowy white, and their coats – one blue, one black, fitted their shoulders without a crease.

Eustacia was accustomed to seeing Ilam striding about his acres or ready for riding, in serviceable boots, and a coat cut for comfort rather than fit. Tonight, dressed similarly to his companions, but in a coat of rich midnight blue, and with his hair shining in the candlelight, he looked as fine as any London beau, and he almost took her breath away.

Perhaps something caused him to be aware of her scrutiny, for at that moment, he turned his head and looked at her, laughter dying out of his eyes. She smiled and dropped a small curtsy. He inclined his head in acknowledgement, and excused himself to his companions before walking towards her. She had seen him stride hastily, even impatiently at times. Tonight, he seemed to prowl towards her like a great cat, and for a moment, she felt an absurd urge to scurry away into the nearest corner.

Before she could do any such thing, or he could draw close enough to speak to her, Anna Crossley, who had also just arrived accompanied by her brother and another lady, intercepted him, tucking her hand in his arm. Dressed in white muslin, she was
looking remarkably pretty. ‘Gabriel,’ she said smiling. ‘You’re very grand.’

‘Thank you,’ Ilam replied. ‘You’re looking attractive too, Anna.’ He took hold of her hand, gave it a little squeeze and disengaged himself, before turning to Eustacia. ‘Good evening, Miss Hope,’ he said, bowing again. ‘I trust that you are feeling strong enough for our dance.’

‘I trust so, Lord Ilam,’ Eustacia answered demurely.

She turned to Anna and was about to greet her, not yet having spoken to her that evening, when Anna said to the viscount
pleadingly
, ‘You will dance with me, too, won’t you?’

‘I can’t dance with you both at the same time,’ Ilam answered playfully.

‘No, but later,’ Anna persisted.

‘My dear Miss Crossley, it really isn’t done to seem too eager,’ Eustacia put in, anxious to preserve the girl from exposing herself further. ‘It makes the gentlemen far too conceited.’

‘But….’ Anna began. What she might have been about to say was lost as the music began.

‘I’ll see you later, Anna,’ said Ilam. ‘At the moment, I am promised to Miss Hope.’

Anna’s face brightened. ‘All right,’ she said, scampering off the floor.

‘I suppose that I am rather late in admitting it, but it seems that you were right and I was wrong,’ said Ilam, as they took their places. ‘How could I have been so obtuse?’

The movements of the dance separated them for a time. Eustacia noticed that her partner was frowning over the difficulty in which he now found himself.

‘Lord Ilam, I believe you ought to smile,’ Eustacia suggested, when she was next able to speak to him. ‘People will be
wondering
what I have said to make you look so displeased.’ Instantly, his expression lightened, and the next time they took hands to go down the set, he showed every evidence of being in an excellent humour. ‘You weren’t being obtuse,’ she assured him. ‘I believe that you know her so well that it was difficult for you to perceive
that she had begun to see you as something other than an older brother.’

‘Yes, you are right,’ he answered ruefully. ‘The devil of it is, I
am
fond of her, and I really don’t want to hurt her. I’ll just have to break it to her gently.’

‘Forgive me, my lord, but have you not tried to do that already?’

He grinned. ‘
Touché
, Miss Hope. How do you contrive to be right so often?’

‘By constant practice; but I do have a natural aptitude,’ she replied, as they honoured one another at the end of the dance.

‘Baggage,’ he said, grinning, as he took her hand to lead her off the floor. ‘And now, I am going to take you into a corner and monopolize you.’

Eustacia glanced around and saw that Anna was watching them. ‘A very good notion, my lord,’ she agreed.

Seeing the direction of her gaze, he smiled down at her. ‘That was exactly my view; but not just for that reason. By the way, do you think we might drop this “my lord-ing” and “miss-ing”? My name is Gabriel. I would be honoured if you would use it.’

‘And you may call me Eustacia, or Stacia if you prefer. What other reason did you have in mind?’

‘I’m simply consulting my own preference,’ he murmured. ‘Could you doubt it? By the way, may I also have the supper dance?’

‘Yes of course,’ Eustacia replied, feeling absurdly shy.

Soon after this, one of the London gentlemen to whom Gabriel had been talking approached her with Lady Agatha and after being introduced as Mr Wragley, craved permission to lead her into the next dance. Eustacia accepted with pleasure, and discovered Wragley to be an accomplished dancer, light on his feet, and ready to guide his partner expertly through the steps.

‘Is this your first visit to Illingham, Miss Hope?’ he asked in a light, cheerful voice.

‘Yes it is,’ Eustacia replied. ‘We do not live very far away, so it makes it all the stranger that I have not been to see my godmother here before.’

‘Perfectly natural, I would have said,’ he replied. ‘Take me, for instance. My estate’s less than ten miles from the sea. Do I ever go there? Never. Then there’s my sister with whom I’m staying at present. She comes to see me two or three times a year. What must she do every time she arrives, but go off and take a look at it.’

Eustacia laughed and agreed that it was strange. Altogether, they had such a pleasant conversation that she was surprised when the music came to an end.

The next dance was claimed by David Crossley and for the fourth she was solicited by the other London gentleman, Sir Brian Millet by name. It really was a delightful evening, she reflected. In fact, it was almost perfect. Then the whole thing was spoiled as she looked across towards the entrance and saw Evangeline Granby coming in, her parents behind her and her hand resting on the arm of Morrison Morrison.