jinn 01 - ember (11 page)

Some people were never happy. “You’re welcome.” I flopped down on her bed. “What are your plans tonight?”

“I guess I’m packing.”

I rested my head against the pillow as she went to get her suitcase. I closed my eyes and concentrated on each breath I took. It was nice to be home.

Olivia.
The voice was back. Baker was obviously suspicious of the voice, and I understood that. I pretended like I hadn’t heard it. Maybe I needed to call Uriel down for a talk. He might have some idea about what was happening or who was talking to me. Mom came back in the room and opened her suitcase. She disappeared into her closet and came back with a few items.

“Are you happy?” she asked me.

I opened my eyes and moved so I could see her. “Yeah. Why?

“You seem happy.”

“I’m always happy.” Where was she going with all of this? My mother never started down a path without knowing where she wanted it to end up.

She fingered the edge of a blue silk shirt. “This life suits you better, doesn’t it?”

I shrugged. “I was happy here too.” I couldn’t really say whether my human life, the angelic existence, or my current life was better. They were all necessary parts of me now and shaped who I was.

“I know, but this is the real you.” She gave me a wobbly smile, and her voice cracked as she spoke. “You’ve finally come out of your shell. You’ve outgrown your old mom.”

I got up and hugged her tight. Powerful angel or introverted photographer, no one ever outgrew their mother. “I’ll always need you. I wouldn’t be here or the person I am without you.”

She hugged me back with a soft sniffle.

I gave her one more squeeze. “This is no way to pack a suitcase. I’ll get us glasses of wine. You keep packing.”

“Olivia?” I paused. “I’m proud of you.”

My eyes filled with tears again. “I love you, Mom.”

A few hours later, Mom was all packed and asleep in her room. I lay in my old bed and stared up at a ceiling I’d spent years looking at while thinking about my past, present, and future as I’d drifted off to sleep. Tonight, however, I was wide awake. It was always hard to sleep without Holden, but more than that, I had too much on my mind. I was doing exactly what I hated—keeping secrets. I hadn’t told Holden about Baker and Maggie. I hadn’t told him about the voice either. It was weighing on my conscience. I needed to confess and tell him everything that was happening, but my gut said now wasn’t the right time—just a little bit longer. Holden was going to be mad. Okay, that was an understatement. He would be furious with Baker, irritated with me for keeping his secret even if it was just for a few days, and more than likely livid about not telling him about the voice.

I made the sign of the cross and pressed my hands together, asking Uriel to meet me. I let the tug at my center take me away. The next instant I was standing on a path with swirling mosaic tiles beckoning me forward and into a lovely butterfly garden. I followed the path, enjoying the serene breeze and warm sun. Uriel sat on a bench at the end of the path, waiting for me. His face was smooth and unearthly, but power and strength came off of him in immense waves. He was both beautiful and terrifying.

“It has been too long,” he said as he kissed both of my cheeks. He held me back at an arm’s distance away. “You are still very human.”

The angel fluttered inside of me but didn’t come forward. “I haven’t completely blended.”

“I can see that.” He shrugged. “You will…or you won’t. No one can force her to if she isn’t ready.”

It was harder to talk to Uriel than it had been before I knew who he was. Now I had deep-seated feelings toward him as a mentor, and it was hard to tell him my problems when all I wanted to do was show him how well I was doing.

“Is that why you called for me?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Come. Sit.” He patted the stone bench next to him. “What is troubling you?”

“There are demons looking for a weapon to kill me.”

He didn’t even blink. “Can you not destroy them?”

“No, I can.”

“Then what is the trouble?”

“I’m hearing a voice. It isn’t like it is with Holden. Someone else is talking to me in my mind.”

“What does it say?”

“So far, it pretty much says my name and to come to it. It also warned me when I was inside the demon’s headquarters that the dark one was coming.”

“Dark one. It used those words?”

I nodded.

“Exactly?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure.” I licked my lips. “It’s angelic, right?”

“Undoubtedly.”

“Do you know who it is?”

He considered it. “Do you not know?”

“When I hear it, the voice is familiar but I can’t place it.”

“I will look into it. Has the voice been helpful?”

“So far. Should I meet it?”

“That is up to you. I must go. I will let you know when I find who is talking to you.”

I nodded and he left. I stayed on the cool bench. Soft floral scents muted my worries, and the air had a slightly sweet, honeyed taste. I was surrounded by velvety crimson, vibrant purple, and buttery yellow flowers stretching toward the sky. If I could say one thing for Uriel, it was that he knew how to choose the locations. I took one more deep breath then went home. Reality quickly dashed any peace I’d gained. I stuck my head in my mom’s room to make sure she was fine.

Maybe sending her away wasn’t right. Maybe I should bring her back with me. The door shut with a soft click and I walked around the house, remembering and letting worry eat at me.

Stop it, Liv. Everything is going to be fine.

Holden’s voice made me smile.
Hey,
I said.

You holding up okay?

Yeah. I just talked to Uriel.
I shook my head.
I have a lot to catch you up on.

I know.
I could feel his bemusement.
But can we do it later?

Yep. How are you?

Quintus can’t find Maggie. Baker and I are helping him look.

Oh. Right. Maggie. I forget to tell you.
Oops. Another secret.

I know.

Maybe I should bring Mom back with me.

I could feel his sigh.
It’s up to you, but for what it’s worth, I don’t think your plan is a bad one.

He was right. I just needed to hear the confirmation.
Be careful. I love you.

I love you too.

The way Holden had said “I love you” filled me with warmth. He said each word carefully and packed with more feeling than he would ever show. I had to come clean about everything.

MOM AND HER friends made it on their flight just fine. I watched from a distance, veiled from humans. Then I went home.

How did the jinn attack the shifter without being seen?
the voice who wasn’t Holden said in my mind the moment I set foot in our apartment. My insides clenched, but as the question sank in, I couldn’t ignore it. Baker said that they had come out of nowhere and someway they’d gotten him back here. Baker hadn’t been gone with Selene that long. The whole thing reeked of magic that jinn didn’t possess. What was really behind their offer to be our allies?

“Everything go smoothly with Marge?” Holden asked, leaning against the bedroom doorway.

I nodded.

“Did you get any sleep?”

I scrunched up my nose. “About as much as you.” Holden had been as restless as I had been last night. I hadn’t felt his mind relax. “Did you find Maggie?”

“No. I sent everyone home.”

I could hear what he hadn’t spoken aloud. They might have already had her. My heart squeezed for him, and I hoped he was wrong. “Are you going to keep looking?”

He cracked his neck. “We can’t waste any more time. If they have her, there’s nothing we can do about it now. If they don’t, then she is doing a fine job hiding herself.”

His flippant and dismissive attitude was a little shocking, but the fact that he wasn’t all that concerned about her well-being was a good sign for Baker. Maybe he wouldn’t care as much as we’d thought. “What does Baker think?”

He shrugged. “Why would Baker care?”

Now would be the perfect time to tell him, but it was really Baker’s story to tell. “I found out what was bothering Baker yesterday.”

“So he wasn’t just irritable?” Holden asked dryly.

“He’s in pain, Holden.”

“What kind of pain?”

I ran my hand up his arm. “The kind you should talk to him and try to keep an open mind about.”

Holden narrowed his eyes. “Is this what you wanted to catch me up on last night?”

“Some of it.” I rested my head against his chest and his arms encased me. “I’ve been hearing a voice in my head that isn’t you.”

Holden stroked his hand down my hair and continued to hold on to me. “How long?”

“It started yesterday.”

“When?”

“Right before the note appeared on the door.”

Holden wasn’t flipping out—or at least I couldn’t tell if he was. His movements were smooth and calm, his voice normal.

“That’s why you talked to Uriel last night?”

I pushed back so I could see him. “I didn’t want to worry you before I knew who it was.”

“Was it him?”

“No. I still don’t know who it is, but Uriel confirmed what I’d suspected. It’s an angelic voice. I think it’s trying to help.”

His expression, if anything, could be called contemplative. “We can use all the help we can get.”

I nodded. Wow. He was taking this so much better than I’d thought he would.

“But until you know who it is and what they want exactly, be cautious.” He blinked and focused on me. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I expected you to be angry or go into full-blown protective mode.”

Holden smiled. “You should have told me, but you didn’t wait that long and you didn’t do anything rash. As far as being overly protective…” He clenched his jaw. “I’m not going to be able to shadow you through all of this. I know you can defend yourself, and I have to allow it. You are stronger in the field than hidden away. We said we would trust each other. That includes each other’s judgment.”

I kissed him hard. All the worry that had been nagging at me melted away. Holden and I had agreed to trust each other above all else and I had done nothing but doubt him. I silently vowed to do better. Doubt would drive a wedge between us.

“No time for necking, lovebirds,” Baker said, coming through the door. He winked at me. “So I had a thought about Maggie.”

“We’re dropping the search. If we can’t find her, maybe no one else can either.”

Baker’s face fell. “Is that a good idea?”

Holden splayed his hands out. “We have other things to worry about right now.”

I stretched my arms to get Baker’s attention. “Well, I think I am going to make breakfast. Have you eaten, Baker?”

He looked at me, dumbfounded. I could see him scrambling for a reason not to give up on Maggie, but the reality was he had the best reason of all at his fingertips. All he had to be was honest.

“What is it now, Baker?” Holden said impatiently.

He rubbed a hand over his face. “Just tired, boss.”

Holden rolled his eyes. “I’m taking a shower.”

I headed for the kitchen and Baker trailed behind me. “Is he serious about not looking for her? Or is this a test?”

“He thinks they already have her. What happened last night?”

“Nothing. Why?”

“Holden is being very Zen this morning. I told him about the voice and he took it really well. I think you should tell him your secret.”

Baker shook his head. “Doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over.”

“Over over?”

He nodded. “Never got out of the gate. It’s best this way.”

I cracked an egg on the side of the skillet. “I’m sorry, Baker.”

“Don’t worry about it, angel.” He went into the living room and flipped on the TV while I cooked. Holden came back out around the time I finished making breakfast. I placed the plates at the breakfast bar and the guys took their seats.

I took a bite. “Baker, how did you not see the jinn attack you in New Orleans?”

His eyebrows pulled together. “I don’t know. Selene went in, the gates closed, and I was whacked on the back of the head. They snuck up on me, but the street was empty before she went in. Unless they knew where I was going and they were there the whole time, they just appeared.”

“Does that bother anyone else?” I said the same time Holden said, “They must have been there.”

“I don’t know how they would know where I would be.”

“How did you get to New Orleans?”

“Selene used her elf magic. No one knew when I was taking her.”

I was certain the elves hadn’t betrayed us, but the voodoo priestess Selene had been meeting was possible. “He was gone a few days,” I said. “The jinn said they sent the message, but I don’t see how it’s possible unless they are working with someone else. They can’t appear out of nowhere. Unless they are like you.” I raised an eyebrow at Holden.

His green eyes darkened. “It wasn’t the jinn.” Holden’s fork bent in half and a vein in his neck popped out. He stood up, everything else calm about him. “I’ll be back.” He evaporated into a pool of black smoke.