Joanne Fluke Christmas Bundle: Sugar Cookie Murder, Candy Cane Murder, Plum Pudding Murder, & Gingerbread Cookie Murder (8 page)

One glance into the refrigerator and she had her answer. She’d made a triple batch of Nancy Henderson’s Christmas Cheese Rounds and they were wrapped in plastic wrap in the cheese drawer. Cheese and crackers would do nicely, especially since it was spur of the moment. But Norman and Mike had eaten Easy Cheesy Biscuits only a few hours ago. Was there such a thing as too much cheese?

Hannah considered it for a brief moment and then dismissed it. Minnesota was a dairy state. Anyone who lived here couldn’t get too much cheese, butter, milk, and cream. Besides, she wanted to try one of Nancy’s cheese treats. They were unusual and one of the ingredients was sure to cause raised eyebrows.

Hannah opened a jar of the jalapeno jelly that Florence had special-ordered for her at the Red Owl. She placed the cheese ball in the center of a serving plate, heated a few spoonfuls of jelly in the microwave until she could stir it smooth, and spooned it over the top of the cheese round. As she added a small serving knife to the plate, she decided that there was no way she’d mention what kind of jelly she’d used before they tasted it.

It was a simple matter to put some crackers into a napkin-lined basket and she carried it to the table, along with the cheese ball. “Try my homemade cheese ball,” she said. “Coffee’s coming right up.”

Of course they tried it. And as she poured coffee and placed the mugs on a tray, she listened to the conversation taking place while they munched.

“Do you taste some kind of spice?” Norman asked.

“I don’t know,” Lonnie replied. “Maybe it’s onions?”

“It doesn’t
taste
like onions,” Mike offered his opinion. “It tastes more like…peppers or something like that.”

“Whatever it is, it’s good!” Lonnie said. “What do you think, Norman?”

“I think it’s in the sauce or whatever that is on top. And I like it a lot.”

Hannah came through the doorway with the coffee and plunked it down on the table. “Jalapenos,” she said. And then she watched their expressions change to surprise.

“But it’s not
that
hot,” Mike said. “Believe me I’ve had jalapenos before and they’re a lot hotter than this.”

“That’s because this is jalapeno jelly, not straight jalapenos from the can.”

“Maybe the sugar takes away some of the heat,” Norman guessed, reaching for another cracker and loading it up with cheese and jelly. “This is really good, Hannah. I’ve never tasted anything like it before.”

“I have,” Mike said, giving Hannah a knowing look. “Somebody I know made Jalapeno Brownies as a special surprise for me.”

Hannah itched to correct him. The brownies hadn’t been a special surprise. They’d been an attempt to get even when he’d said that another woman’s brownies were the best he’d ever tasted. Unfortunately, her brownie punishment had back-fired. Mike had loved his fiery treats.

“Eat up boys, and then it’s time to go,” Hannah said. “It’s already after eleven and I have to get up at four in the morning.”

“But how about decorating the tree?” Norman asked her. “Don’t you want us to help you with it?”

“Yes, but not tonight.” Hannah gave him a smile to show that she appreciated his offer of help. “I’m just too tired to do any more tonight. I’ll call you in the morning and we’ll set something up.”

Five minutes later the cups, the cheese plate, and the serving knife were in the dishwasher, and Hannah had reset the coffee pot for the morning. It didn’t take her long to brush her teeth, wash her face, and put on the oversized sweat suit she wore to bed when it was sub-zero weather. She was about to climb into bed when she realized that Moishe wasn’t in his accustomed spot on the pillow next to hers.

“Moishe?” she called out, but there were no soft kitty footfalls in the hallway. Moishe was still in the living room and that was when Hannah remembered that neither Mike nor Norman had pulled Moishe aside for that cautionary talk about the Christmas tree.

It’s always up to the mother
, Hannah thought, and then she grinned at her phrasing. She wasn’t Moishe’s mother. She’d need four legs and a tail to qualify for that position. But there were times, like now, when she felt she should exercise some maternal authority.

He was on the back of the couch looking perfectly inscrutable when Hannah retraced her steps to the living room. He was facing the tree and Hannah had the feeling that she should be extremely persuasive.

“How’s my kitty boy?” she asked, sitting down on the couch and reaching up to pet him. “Do you like
my
Christmas tree?”

There was a beat of silence, and then another. After ten seconds or so, Hannah figured that Moishe was not going to respond.

“We’ll decorate it tomorrow night and you’ll see how pretty it is,” she told him. “You’ll like it, Moishe. I know you will. It’s the holidays and we’re celebrating.”

More silence, stretching out for even longer this time. Hannah continued to pet and reassure her feline roommate. “Since it’s Christmas, I think I should get you some new catnap mice. What do you think of that?”

There was another second of silence and then she heard a very soft meow. “Two mice?” she asked. “Or three mice?”

“Rowwwww,” Moishe responded, moving over to lick her hand.

“Three mice it is then,” Hannah repeated, scratching him on his favorite spot under the chin. “Come on, Moishe. It’s late and I’m tired. Let’s go to bed.”

This time Moishe followed her to the bedroom and jumped up on his pillow. Hannah climbed in, pulled the covers up to her chin, and reached out to touch his soft fur. This was nice. This was peaceful. The sound of her pet’s even purring was wonderfully relaxing.

In no time at all, Hannah began to doze off to her pet’s soft purring. It had been a lovely evening, the scent of pine filled the condo, her cat was purring softly beside her, and all was right with the world…except Bradford Ramsey. He was the only fly in the ointment. Why did he have to come back into her life now and spoil her perfect world?

CHRISTMAS CHEESE ROUNDS

For each cheese round you will need:

Combine all the ingredients except the jalapeno jelly. Pack them into a small round mold, or form a ball and flatten it to resemble a hockey puck
(or a baby Brie if you’re not from Minnesota and into winter sports.)

Chill the cheese round for at least 2 hours.
(Overnight or even over several days is fine, too.)

When you’re ready to serve, place the cheese round on a pretty serving plate. Heat the jalapeno jelly in the microwave for a few seconds until you can stir it smooth. Then spoon approximately ½ cup over the top of the cheese round, letting it drip down the sides and puddle on the plate. Accompany it with a basket of crackers or cocktail bread, and enjoy.

Yield: One cheese round that should serve as an appetizer for 6 to 8 people.

T
he alarm clock went off much too early to suit Hannah. All she wanted to do was duck back under the covers and hide from the day that was about to begin. Why couldn’t she just find a nice nine to five job? Other people had jobs that paid benefits, and overtime, and periodic raises, and a bonus at Christmas, and…

Hannah’s busy mind skidded to a halt. Christmas. It smelled like Christmas in her bedroom. The lovely pine scent from the Christmas tree that Norman had bought for her was perfuming her whole condo with the scent of a winter forest. Why hadn’t she ever had a Christmas tree before? The scent was wonderful and it would be so nice to sit on the living room couch and gaze at lovely ornaments glowing in the reflections from soft twinkling lights nestled among the branches. She could sip hot chocolate, snuggle up warm and cozy with Norman, or Mike, or even Moishe.

Hannah’s thoughts took another quick three-sixty. She was almost positive that Moishe had been in bed when the alarm went off. Her arm was still slightly numb from twenty-three pounds of purring feline using it as a pillow.

She reached out to flick on the light. Moishe had been here, but he wasn’t here now. There was no cat in the bed, no furry pal on the windowsill hoping to catch a glimpse of a rabbit running across the snowy rose garden, no feline roommate perched on top of her dresser, purring loudly in an invitation to get up and feed him. Moishe wasn’t in her bedroom at all.

There was a crash in the distance. It wasn’t a loud crash, but it was worthy of notice. It seemed to take a long while to happen, like a tree toppling in the forest. Branches crackled, something swished, and a moment later, there was a hollow thud. And then there was water splashing out and then dripping…dripping…dripping…in her living room!

Moishe. Her Christmas tree. What was surely no more than a nanosecond after the thought occurred to her, Hannah was up and running. She sped down the hallway, flicking on lights as she went, and came to a skidding halt as she reached the tree, the one that had been in the corner of her living room and was now prone on her rug, the tree stand tipped up on two legs over an impossibly large lake of water that was spreading out over her carpet.

Hannah hissed out a word she would never have used around her nieces. All her precautions had been for naught. Her tree was down and the plastic pan had caught only a small amount of the water that had been in the tree stand. Her precaution hadn’t worked. There was a rapidly spreading lake of water on her rug.

A groan worthy of a rudely awakened hibernating bruin emerged from Hannah’s throat. As she stood there watching in dismay, the rest of the water saturated the fibers of her rug, seeped through the pad under her carpet, dripped past the joists that separated her apartment from her downstairs neighbors, and soaked the insulation and drywall that rested immediately above Phil and Sue Plotnik’s living room ceiling.

Hannah ran to the laundry room for a stack of towels and spread them out over the puddle. She patted them down, hoping she could soak up some of the moisture, and then she made her unsteady way to the kitchen for a wake-up dose of caffeine. Coffee would help and perhaps all this was a bad dream.

As she opened the cupboard and stared at the array of coffee mugs that awaited her, Hannah tried to convince herself that she was still fast asleep and merely dreaming that she was in her kitchen, choosing a coffee mug for the morning. She got out her favorite, the one that bore the words,
That’s the Way the Cookie Crumbles
, and carried it over to the coffee pot. It was amazing how realistic a dream could be. She could almost feel the weight of the mug in her hand and hear the clink as she set it down on the counter to pour herself a cup of liquid caffeine.

Hannah stood there and took the first scalding sip. And at that instant, she knew that this was
not
a dream. Moishe really
had
tipped over the tree, it had probably soaked through the floor and ruined Sue and Phil’s new carpet, and her name was mud with her downstairs neighbors. She knew this for a fact because she’d just scalded her tongue and it hurt like blazes.

Hannah was waiting for her first attempt at plum pudding to come out of the oven when Lisa came in the back door.

“Hi, Hannah. It’s sure is cold out there!”

Lisa was smiling a smile that stretched all the way back to a tooth number that Hannah didn’t know, but Norman would probably agree that it was a molar. “You look happy,” Hannah said.

“I am. Herb and Mayor Bascomb decided not to stay over to fish. They’re coming back this afternoon.”

“That’s good.”

“It’s better than good. It’s great. I brought you a loaf of Pork and Beans Bread. Do you want to try a slice? It’s really good toasted and buttered.”

“I’d love to try it. I’m hungry this morning.”

It didn’t take long for Lisa to slice the bread, pop it in the toaster, and butter it. She brought it to Hannah, along with a fresh mug of coffee. “Now pretend you don’t know what’s in it and see if you’d be able to tell by just tasting.”

“Pretend I don’t know? That’s a little like uneating a cookie, isn’t it?”

“I guess,” Lisa gave a little shrug. “I probably shouldn’t have told you in the first place. Then I could have asked you to guess.”

“That’s okay. We’ll try it out on the first person who comes through the door and see if they can guess.”

“Good idea. But I want to know what
you
think.”

Hannah took a bite and was amazed at the nutty, spicy flavor. It reminded her a bit of banana or date bread, but the texture was less cakelike. Lisa’s bread was delicious and if she hadn’t known it was made with pork and beans, she was almost certain she wouldn’t have guessed.

“What do you think?” Lisa asked, clearly eager for Hannah’s opinion.

“Delicious. I want the recipe.”

“You’ve got it.” Lisa opened her purse and drew out a recipe card. “I knew you’d want it so I copied it for you early this morning.”

Hannah turned to study her young partner’s face. There were dark circles under Lisa’s eyes. “How early?”

“It was about one o’clock I think. Once Herb left, I couldn’t get to sleep. The house was so empty with him gone. It’s not that I’m afraid of being by myself. It’s just that I’m lonely.” Lisa stopped talking and turned to Hannah. “How do you deal with that anyway?”

If that question had come from anyone else, Hannah might have taken offense. But Lisa was waiting for an answer, and she looked as if she really wanted to know. “I have Moishe,” Hannah said, not mentioning that there were times, like this morning, when she wasn’t sure if that was a curse or a blessing.

“Of course you do!” Lisa looked as if someone had handed her a wonderful present. “I never thought of that! You’re never alone, not really. Herb and I need to get a dog.”

Hannah was silent for a moment. She really shouldn’t interfere. Lisa and Herb had their own lives and it wasn’t up to her to offer advice. But aside from all that, she simply had to give her opinion. “Good idea!” she said. “Bill’s dad just had puppies, and…”

Lisa cracked up and that made Hannah realize what she’d just said. “Okay. That didn’t come out right. Bill’s dad has a dog named Flopsy and she had puppies two months ago.”

“Flopsy?” Lisa looked confused. “Isn’t that the name of a bunny in
Peter Rabbit
?”

“Yes, but this Flopsy isn’t a rabbit. She’s a yellow lab. Bill’s mother named her Flopsy because her ears flop all over the place when she runs.”

“Oh. That makes sense, I guess. But yellow labs are pretty big. Does that mean that Flopsy’s puppies will be big when they grow up?”

“Not necessarily. Bill’s dad thinks the father is his neighbor’s Jack Russell terrier.”

“Like the one that was on
Frasier?
”

Hannah nodded and waited for the next question. It was bound to come. Lisa had been raised around farmers.

“But…a terrier like that is pretty small. And a yellow lab is big. How…?”

“Don’t ask me, but it happened,” Hannah told her. “Andrea asked Dr. Bob, and he said he thought a staircase must have been involved.”

Lisa sank down on one of the stools at the stainless steel worktable and chortled a bit. When she was through, she wiped her eyes and asked, “Dr. Hagaman didn’t go into any details?”

“No. I think he figured that Andrea was a married woman and she could use her imagination. They’ve already found homes for all the puppies except one, and he’s yours if you want him. He’s really cute. Andrea showed me some pictures.”

“Can I see them?”

“Yes. I’ll call Andrea and tell her to bring them in. Bill went out there and snapped a few photos. I’m pretty sure he thought Tracey was ready for a puppy, but Andrea’s still holding out.”

“That could be lucky for us. Herb really wants a dog.” Lisa thought about it for a moment and then she smiled. “Do you think Andrea could come by this morning?”

“I’m almost certain she can. She should be about ready to drive to Tracey’s classroom with the tree she picked out last night. Do you want me to ask her to stop on the way back?”

“That would be perfect.” Lisa turned toward the ovens. “What smells so good?”

“Plum pudding. I promised Larry Jaeger I’d take him a sample when I deliver his cookies this afternoon.” Hannah waited for the question and when it didn’t come, she added, “He increased his order, by the way.”

“That’s wonderful! You’re a good salesman, Hannah.” Lisa turned back from the kitchen coffeepot where she was pouring herself a cup. “Does your plum pudding have plums in it? The English one doesn’t, you know.”

“I know. Mine is different from the English pudding. I actually used purple plums.”

“Oh, good! I tasted the other kind and I didn’t like it. Marge bought some in a can last year and it was even worse than canned fruitcake.” Lisa gave a little shudder at the memory. “What cookies does Larry want for his extras?”

“Ginger cookies,” Hannah named one of the cookies that Larry had requested. “I thought we’d use Lois Brown’s Frosted Ginger Cookie recipe. And until Larry decides if he wants the plum pudding, we’ll fill in with more Old Fashioned Sugar Cookies.”

“Do you have the recipe printed out for the ginger cookies?”

“Right here.” Hannah handed her a sheet of paper.

“I’ll get the ingredients,” Lisa said, and headed off to the pantry. She opened the door and was about to enter when she turned back. “Do you know there’s only ten shopping days left until Christmas?”

“No.”

“I heard it on KCOW radio this morning. Do you have all your shopping done?”

“I do. I took Mother’s advice and did it before Thanksgiving.”

“That’s great. I’m through, too.” Lisa disappeared inside the pantry, but she stuck her head out again. “Do you think you could call Andrea now? The more I think about it, the more I want that puppy. Herb’s been talking about getting a dog to make rounds with him, and he’s really good with animals.”

“If he runs true to his heritage, this pup should be easy to train,” Hannah said. “Jack Russells are smart little dogs, and yellow labs are loyal and want to please their owners.”

“That’s true. Of course Herb can’t take the puppy to work until he’s trained, and I wouldn’t want to leave him home alone. Do you think I could bring him down here on a leash in the kitchen until he’s settled in?”

“That’s fine with me,” Hannah said, without a second thought for the health board or the city regulations. There were ways around those and she would find them. “If you decide to adopt the little guy, I’ll support you all the way.”

“Oh, he’s so cute!” Lisa smiled down at the pictures Andrea had spread out on the kitchen counter. “I know I should wait for Herb to get back, but I’m almost positive he’ll want him.”

“Do you want to call and talk to him about it?” Andrea asked.

“I’d like to, but he didn’t take his cell phone with him. He thought I might need it while he was gone.”

“That’s not a problem.” Andrea pulled out her cell phone and hit a number. “I’ll call Bill. He’ll have Mayor Bascomb’s cell phone number.”

There were times when the electronic age was wonderful. Hannah admired the efficient way Andrea obtained the mayor’s number and dialed it for Lisa. In less than a minute, Herb was on the phone talking to his wife. Of course Andrea had plenty of good reasons for wanting Lisa to take the puppy. Muddy footprints all over the sparkling white tile in her kitchen, a doggy entrance to the backyard that would have to be cut into the new designer door she’d just ordered for the kitchen, and accidents on her ice-blue living room rug were only three of those reasons.

“Then you really don’t mind?” Lisa asked, and the answer she received caused a huge smile to spread over her pretty face. She listened for a moment and then she blushed. “I miss you too, honey. What time do you think you’ll get here?”

Andrea nudged Hannah and they grinned at the way things were going. Hannah was happy that Lisa was getting a nice companion for the times that Herb worked late. Andrea was happy that she wouldn’t have dog walking duty in the dead of winter.

“Okay. I’ll see you before we close then. Hannah made plum pudding and I’ll save you a piece.” There was silence for a moment and then Lisa laughed. “Not
that
plum pudding. Hers has real plums in it and it smells divine. I’ll wait until you get here and have a slice with you.”

Andrea had just put her phone in the outside pocket of her purse when the front door opened and Delores came in. “Hello, dears!” she said, hanging her white leather, fleece-lined coat on the rack.

“Hello, Mother,” Hannah and Andrea responded, almost in unison.

“Hi, Mrs. Swensen,” Lisa chimed in.

“You don’t have to call me Mrs. Swensen. Delores will do just fine. And if that makes you uncomfortable, you can call me Mother, too.” Delores gave Lisa a smile. “Now what cookies do you recommend for a tired old woman this morning?”

“We just made a dozen batches of Frosted Ginger Cookies,” Lisa told her. “How about a couple of those?”

“Perfect.”

Hannah was disturbed by the phrase
a tired old woman
, especially since it had come from the mother who would rather endure torture than admit she was over fifty. “What’s wrong, Mother?” she asked, the moment that Lisa had left for the kitchen to fetch the ginger cookies.