Joe (11 page)

“He’s not a dummy. He’s smart.”

“I’m sure his IQ equals that of yours,” Hal said. “But you can’t have him here.”

“Hal, you need to hear his thoughts on things.”

“Good God.”

“Watch.” Frank looked at Bob. “What do you think about Hal?”

“I think he sucks.”

Robbie laughed.

”What do you think about Robbie.”

“He’s great.”

“Stop it.” Hal stood. “Put down the doll, Frank. We know you are speaking for him, we can see your lips move.”

“No you can’t.”

“Yes I can!” Hal got angry. “Now put away the doll!”

“Fine. Fuck. Yell at me, I’m just having fun.” Frank walked in the other room, when he disappeared; he stuck Bob through the door. “You suck Hal.”

Hal plopped down in the seat.

Robbie commented, “I like the doll.”

“You would.”

Frank returned. “Ok, now that I feel so lonely. Let’s begin. Let’s start with the virus. What do you have?” He looked at Danny.

Danny passed him a sheet. “I can’t pronounce it. But it’s there. But it’s a non-airborne virus, testosterone bred that effects the brain.”

Frank looked at the paper. “What the fuck?” he squinted at the sheet.

Hal asked. “Does anyone else find this bizarre? A testosterone virus that affects the brain.”

“Mo … Mo …” Frank shook his head.

“I mean,” Hal continued. “It sounds made up. Like it’s a cover up for something.”

Danny explained. “So far 45 men have it.”

Frank spoke out loud. “Mo … du … oh, got it. Modula Oblongata Hypo…des…amentra…yachictitis. Yeah.”

Robbie laughed. “Can you spell that word without looking? I mean, you shouldn’t say words unless you can spell them.”

“Then our brother would never speak,” Hal said. “Let me see this paper.” He took it. “Modula Oblongata Hypodesamentrayachictitis. That doesn’t even sound real.”

“It’s real, Hal.” Frank barked. “Men are seeing things. Dad’s floating head. George Bush in a tutu. Does that sound normal to you?”

“Yes,” Hal said. “For Beginnings. Everyone in this town is insane.”

“Hal, it’s real. There’s only one other reason for someone seeing Dad’s floating head.”

“And, afraid to ask,” Hal placed his index finger on his eye to stop the twitch. “What reason would that be?”

Robbie looked at Danny.

Frank replied. “Robbie brought back Dad’s spirit when he dug up his grave and had a séance.”

Robbie breathed out. “That makes sense. Maybe we should have another séance to send him back.”

Frank pointed. “Good idea.”

“Ok. Ok. Enough,” Hal stated. “Let’s get this brain flu subject over and move on.”

“Ok.” Frank said. “What do you suggest? Anyone?”

Danny lifted his hand. “Let’s end this all at once. Have a town meeting, have Dean plan one big inoculation day and end this.”

“Sounds good,” Frank nodded. “I’ll prepare a speech.”

Hal exhaled. “Will it be your standard Frank crisis speech where you just change the subject?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good God.”

Danny looked at Hal. “It works, so why fix something that’s broke.”

“Fine. Let me know the town meeting date and I’ll have one too.”

“Good. Let’s move on. Wow.” Frank sat back.

“What?” Hal asked.

“We’re just moving along. Unlike when Dad had his meetings, huh?” Frank looked at Robbie. “Hey! You wanna call me names say them don’t think them.”

“Well, quit reading my mind.”

“Quit calling me a moron in your mind.”

“Quit reading my mind and you won’t have to hear them.”

“Quit thinking so loud or I wouldn’t have to hear them.”

Elliott interjected. “Gentlemen, please. Can we proceed? What is the next order of business Frank?’

“The invisible suits.”

Hal questioned, “What about them?”

“I know this is difficult, and you may not see it, cause you know, it’s invisible, but keep your eye out for one, we’re missing one.”

Danny quickly said, “No we’re not.”

Frank jolted a view his way. “Yes we are.”

“No,” Danny shook his head. “We aren’t.”

“But you said we are.”

“That was before?”

“Before what?”

“Before this morning when I knew better.” Danny said.

“But it wasn’t before I knew better.”

Hal lifted his hand. “Are we missing a suit or aren’t we?”

“Yes.” Frank said.

“No.” Danny retorted.

“Danny, you said we were missing a suit.”

“I know, but I was wrong.”

“No, you weren’t.” Frank shook his head. “I went to the lock box. I counted just to double check. You said there were twenty three suits to start with. There were twenty-one in the box. Now, taking into account the Darrell suit. One plus twenty-one is twenty-two. Twenty-two minus twenty-one is one. One missing suit. See. Basic math.” Frank pointed to his temple. “Live it learn it, use it.”

Hal looked at Elliott and whispered. “And he didn’t use his fingers. How proud I am.”

“Hal!” Frank snapped. “Bite me.”

“Grow up.”

“We have a crisis here,” Frank said. “We’re missing an invisible suit.”

“No,” Danny said annoyed. “We aren’t. I was wrong.”

“No, you weren’t. I counted.”

“And you did well.” Danny continued. “But, Frank I was wrong about how many we originally had. We had one less than I thought we had.”

“So if we had one less then you thought we had, we now have one more than we thought we had.”

Danny shook his head. “What ... What are you talking about?”

“By one less, you mean, you counted wrong?”

“Yes.”

“And you mean we have one less than you originally thought we had?”

“Yes.”

“So we have one more.”

“How do you figure?” Danny asked.

Hal shot a glare to Robbie who snickered.

Frank explained. “You thought we had Twenty three, but you meant to think we had twenty-two, when you counted, you counted twenty-one, but you were wrong and there was one less, so actually there were twenty suits, meaning we had twenty one to begin with, I counted in the Darrell suit and that made twenty-two. So we have one more than we thought. Or would it be two? Fuck. Where are the extra suits coming from?”

Hal’s hand smoothed against his mouth as he spoke into his fingers in a muffled manner. “There goes that basic math, live it, learn it, and use it, tool he was boasting.”

Elliot decided to explain. “Frank, you’re confused.”

“I am.”

Hal said. “I’m sure.”

Elliott ignored him. “Frank, when Danny originally counted, he thought he counted twenty-three when in fact he only counted twenty-two.”

Frank stared.

After a moment of silence, figuring Frank wasn’t catching on, Elliott continued. “He erred Frank. There were only originally twenty-two suits. Not twenty-three.”

“So where did the numbers twenty and twenty-one come from?”

“I … uh ….you …” Elliott fluttered his lips. “I don’t know. Gees. But, there are no missing suits, because you counted twenty-one and with Darrell’s, that makes twenty-two so we’re good.”

“Oh. Ok. That’s good.” Frank sighed. “I don’t want a missing suit. They’d be hard to find. Unless of course, we’re only missing the hood, then they’d be easy to find because we’d have someone walking around looking like a floating head.” He chuckled “All right. Next …”

Fuck. Did anyone else catch it? Robbie wondered. Robbie hurriedly looked about the room in the second after Frank’s joke. Danny gazed up, and with a shift of his eyes he saw Hal look in question, briefly. Elliott turned a page and Jimmy prepared papers. No. Hal’s look was Robbie’s imagination. He couldn’t believe Frank said that.

Stop. Robbie not only worried about what he was wondering, and even though he wasn't wondering too clearly, he now worried and wondered if Frank was reading his mind about what he was wondering.

Fuck. He thought.

“Yes,” Frank said and looked at him.

“Fuck.” Robbie said back.

“What am I missing?” Hal asked.

“Robbie is having rambling thoughts about whether or not I am reading his thoughts about my joke. I told him yes. I could hear his thoughts. And to what you were wondering, I don’t think so. I don’t; think anyone thought it was funny. Shame. I thought it was fuckin funny.”

“Me too, Frank. I just couldn’t believe no one else laughed.”

“I’m confused,” Hal tossed up his hands.

Frank waved. “It happens. Must run in the family. Anyhow …” Frank sighed. “We’ll move on when George …”

At that second George walked in. “Sorry I’m late.”

Frank held out his hand. “He’s here. No need to wait. Come in. We’re just about to get started on the big stuff.”

George pulled up a chair. “What did I miss?”

“Don’t ask,” Hal said. “Please, don’t ask.”

“Hal. Not cool,” Frank interjected. “We don’t want George to feel left out. I’ll recap…” Frank pulled a paper forward.

“I’ll take a cigarette break.” Hal stood up and excused himself.

He could hear the recap when he walked out into the front office. Even the recap was going to drive him nuts. Needing to get further way, he walked outside for some sanity and air.

****

What was it about Beginnings meetings? Hal inhaled the last hit of his cigarette. The meetings took so long and a recap? What in the world could take so long for a recap? As he turned to go back in, the door to Frank’s office opened.

George stepped out. When George had arrived, his hair was night and combed. Now it was tossed, pulled some, as if he ran his fingers through it a million times.

“We’re done with the recap. If you want to come back in,” George said.

“Awfully long recap.”

“I think we may have drifted off subject.”

“I see you have encountered a Frank moment.”

“Frank?” George asked. “No. Frank was fine. Danny Hoi.”

“Danny?”

“We started about the virus, when we moved on to the invisible suit, Danny switched gears and started going back to the virus and the potential it could cause for harming the spring presentation of Guys and dolls. Which wouldn’t have been too bad, and then he went into a critique of the actors. Christ. We never got to the invisible suit. I couldn’t take it, Frank couldn’t take it. He moved it along and said to come and get you.”

“Glad I missed it.”

“Well, I’m jealous of that. Let’s go.” George reopened the door. “Oh, wait.”

“Yes?”

“Need a little medicine before we go back in. Keep my blood pressure down.”

“You’re ill?” Hal asked.

“Not at all. I’m just prepared. I know how meetings run in Beginnings.” Reaching into his back pocket, George pulled out a flask. He took a swig and extended it to Hal. “Want some.”

“Don’t mind if I have a little medicine myself.” Hal took a drink, gasped at the pure feel of it, readied to return it, then thinking once more about Frank’s meeting, took another drink before giving back the flask and heading into the building.

Jimmy had placed maps on the board, along with diagrams and satellite photos. He held the information in his hand for the meeting.

Frank gave him the floor. “As all of you know by the information packet I have given you, we have approximately 2400 troops positioned 324 miles northeast of the Montana border. Their garrison includes heavy artillery, tanks, trucks you name it. From what I can see, there are no more bigger movements coming, and they have established camp.”

Hal lifted his hand. “Our scout spotted eight men weeks ago, so they have been there that long.”

Jimmy added. “My observation, and my experience tell me they aren’t moving in. Rather positioning.”

George furthered. “To move out eventually. Our way.” He dropped his pencil and rubbed his eyes. “Frank?”

“They are there for a reason. Obvious. Waiting for something. Hanging back.”

“So why? Why are they hanging back?” Danny asked.

“Like I said,” Frank continued. “Waiting.”

“For?”

“The big hit. Back up, I suppose, Plan B.”

Everyone looked at him with questions.

Robbie raised his hand. “What are you going do? What should we do? Make contact?”

“No.”

“Attack them?” Danny suggested.

“That’s what I would do,” George said. “Just take them out.”

“No.” Frank shook his head.

Hal spoke, “They have one of our men. They took him prisoner.”

“And I’m correct,” Frank said. “He’ll be set free. Set free with a little message saying they mean no harm, they are just setting up a civilization.”