Joelle's Secret (16 page)

“I trust you, Logan.”

“Good. Well, let’s say a prayer, and then we’ll get at it.” He bowed his head and spoke a simple prayer. “Lord, be with this woman and be with me and give my hands skill. We thank You for Your healing, for You are the healer, and I know that Jesus will be with us. Amen.”

Joelle felt a sudden burst of admiration for this man, and she saw Edith’s face grow peaceful.

“We’ve gone over this. All you have to do is put this cloth over the lower part of Edith’s face. When I tell you, put on three drops. We’ll watch and see. That should put her under,” Logan said. “On long operations you have to do it again several times, but not this time, I think. Are you ready, Edith?”

“Yes, I’m ready.”

“All right. Begin, Joe.”

Joelle put a cloth over the lower part of Edith’s face, covering from her eyes down to her mouth. She carefully counted three drops and watched as the woman almost at once began to breathe more deeply.

“She’s asleep. You just hold the cloth in place and tell me if she starts waking up, but I don’t think she will. This will be very quick.”

Afterward Joelle remembered little of the operation. She was studying Edith’s face, and only twice did she glance down. The first time she saw a small opening, and the second time Logan was putting stitches in.

“All done,” Logan said. “You did fine, Joe.”

“It wasn’t much.”

Logan was staring down at Edith’s face. “It’s a good thing that we did this. She wouldn’t have made it otherwise.”

“She would have died?”

“Almost certainly. Well, let’s go tell the folks.”

The two stepped outside, and Artie was there instantly. “Is she all right, Doctor?”

“She’s fine. She’ll need someone to stay with her until she wakes up. Shouldn’t be any problem.” He smiled at the relief on Artie Riker’s face. “Don’t worry.” He turned then and said, “Mr. Riker, she’s going to need some care. Do you want me to do it?”

Riker recognized this as a challenge, and Logan was staring at him in a determined fashion. He glanced around and saw that many of the travelers were watching him. “Do what you have to,” he grunted ungraciously, then turned away.

“Thank you. I appreciate that,” Logan said tersely.

Owen asked, “How soon can we get under way, do you think?”

“I’d like to take the day off tomorrow. The day after be all right with you?”

“Yes, we’re still ahead of schedule.”

“Someone needs to stay with Mrs. Riker. Can one of you women do that?”

“I’ll do it,” Aiden Hall said. She entered the tent.

“Guess we can go back to our wagon,” Owen said. He started back with Joelle beside him, and he asked, “What was it like?”

“It was so quick, but she would have died if Logan hadn’t been here.”

“Kind of lucky, wasn’t it, picking up a doctor, out of all the men in the world?”

“I don’t think it was luck.”

Owen gave her a quick glance and smiled faintly. “You think it was God, don’t you?”

“Don’t you?”

Owen didn’t answer, and finally he nodded. “I’m inclined to agree with you. I think God was in it. That Logan Temple is some man.”

“Yes, he is,” Joelle answered. Her mind was elsewhere. She was thinking of Logan Temple’s attitude as he was treating Edith Riker. There was more to it than a clinical interest, and she recalled now that she had seen the man looking at Edith with interest. She had made little of it, but now she thought,
They would have been perfect for each other. Edith has made a
horrible mistake, and now it can never be right.
The thought discouraged Joelle, and she went to bed early that night, troubled by the situation.

“ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS embarrassed when you examine a woman, Logan?”

Logan was checking Edith’s incision one more time. Three days had passed since the surgery, and he had no doubt from his past examinations that all was fine. Still, he found himself examining her again. She had given him an odd look when he said, “I need to take one more look at that incision and see how long before the stitches come out.”

Edith had paused for a moment and then nodded. “All right. Perhaps we’d better go in the tent.” She turned and moved inside the walled tent that Sid and Clyde erected for her each night, rather sullenly, but both men knew that the entire train was watching them for signs of ill treatment of their stepmother. Inside, she unfastened the buttons of her dress and pulled it down. Beneath it, she was wearing only a thin cotton vest. She pulled up the edge of the vest at her waist and watched Logan. He avoided her eyes but leaned forward and took no more than a cursory look at the wound.

“That’s fine,” he said hurriedly, and when he lifted his eyes to meet hers, he saw she was smiling.

“Are you always awkward examining your female patients, Logan?”

Logan couldn’t answer. He felt his face burn. He had long thought he was able to deal with the intimacy that existed between doctor and patient, but he was attracted to Edith. He recognized that, despite the harshness of her marriage, she possessed pride, honesty, and graciousness. Without trying, she had ignited in him the flame of hungers he had thought were long buried. He gave a half-startled look and noticed her small smile.

Suddenly Temple returned her smile. “I thought I had gotten over all that when I studied medicine.”

“And I suppose women have tried their wiles on you from time to time.”

Her words amused him. He allowed himself to smile. “A few, I suppose.”

“I can tell you what happened.”

“What do you think?”

“You ignored them.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“It’s written all over you, Logan. You’re a noble man, a man of integrity. You wouldn’t take advantage of a woman’s weakness”

“Don’t be too sure of that, Edith.”

His words brought a puzzled expression to her face. “Why would you say that?”

“I may have been honest and ethical with other women, but that doesn’t mean you’re safe.”

His answer stirred Edith’s interest, and she studied him closely as she knew he had been studying her. She saw aristo
cratic, intelligent features and lines of wit and laughter around his mouth. There was a hint of temper between his brows, but she guessed it was rarely used. She could tell that he had lost something and had encountered deep valleys. His features displayed marks of grief, sadness, and regret. She was curious about the reasons but didn’t ask questions. Pulling her dress up, she turned away and buttoned it, then turned back to him.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked foolish questions.”

“I really didn’t answer your question,” Logan said. He seemed to hesitate as if he was deciding whether to make a safe or a risky move; he was not a man who took risk lightly. She saw him take a deep breath, and then he made his decision. “I shouldn’t be saying this, but I care for you, Edith.”

Edith Riker had known the attention of men. Before her marriage, she had been a belle and had learned to recognize the devious and the honorable ways of men. She saw honor in Owen Majors and had admired the man. The new man, Chad Hardin, had it also, not to the same degree of Majors perhaps or even Temple, but it was there.

She said evenly, “I know that. Women know things like that.”

Her answer startled Temple. “I had never said a word.”

“Words are weak things,” Edith said quietly. “But I’ve seen it in your eyes.”

“Do you think I’m a man you could ever care for?”

“Oh, Logan,” she whispered. There was sadness in her voice. “We’re too late. We’ve missed out on something that could have been very good. Out of all the men in the world, how does a woman find the one who would satisfy her needs and fill her life? I’ve often wondered that.”

“Or how does a man find a woman like that?”

“It happens sometimes,” Edith said, “but most of the time it doesn’t.” Her words revealed a feeling of fatalism, which she rarely allowed to show. She knew she had to end this. “Go now, Logan, and please don’t speak of this again.”

“I probably will,” Logan said, then turned and walked out of the tent without looking back. Edith Riker stood there silently, but her heart told her that she would never forget this moment, not if she lived to be a very old woman. Even then she would be able to bring it back word for word—the sight, sounds, smells, and his facial expressions. She had few memories like this, but she knew she would treasure this one.

* * *

“THIS FORT’S NOT MUCH of a place, is it, Chad?”

Joelle had joined Chad Hardin who was walking along the roads of the army post. “Not much.” There had been a rain, and the ground was muddy. They’d reached the Wasatch Mountains, which had made for slow going. More than once they double-teamed the oxen to pull the heavily laden wagons up steep slopes.

“Looks about like all other forts. Maybe a little worse.”

“Why are you going to California? You weren’t headed that way, Chad.”

“Why, I don’t know, Joe. I’m just like a rolling stone, I guess. You know the old saying: The rolling stone gathers no moss, but I always said who wants to have a bunch of moss?” He laughed and punched Jo on the shoulder. As light as the blow was, it moved her backward. “Sorry,” he said. “You’re such a
small young fellow I forget. How old are you anyway? Seven

teen? Eighteen?”

“Seventeen. Be eighteen soon.”

Chad Hardin gave Joelle a sideways glance. “Well, you need to leave the West. You belong in the East somehow. You’d make a good clerk or something like that. You’re too soft for this kind of life.”

“I can handle myself.”

Chad grinned but shook his head. “I trust you can.”

Joelle was curious about the big mountain man. “Why did you come?”

“I was heading back to St. Louis when I met up with the train, but I remembered what good times I had with Owen. Hard times but good. Decided I’d go on to California.”

“You’re going to get rich?”

“Get rich, find me a woman, marry her, settle down, and raise a passel of young ones. How does that sound for a plan?”

Joelle laughed. “It sounds good. I’d like to see you do it.”

“Lots of Spanish women out there in California. Some of them are the best-looking things you’ve ever seen. Skin like satin and big, luscious brown eyes. Soft lips. But their families are kind of protective of them. I got shot at once by a Spanish grandee down on the border. Said I was too familiar with his daughter.”

“Were you?”

“You bet!”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“There, you see? How many people you think on this wagon train knows what ‘incorrigible’ means? Except maybe for Dr. Temple, who knows all, sees all.”

The mention of Logan Temple caused both of them to fall silent for a moment. “He’s stuck on Edith Riker, which is bad news.” Chad shook his head. “I feel sorry for that woman to live with a no-account fella like Riker. I don’t know what she married him for.”

“Nobody knows about things like that. He may have been different when he was younger.”

“I doubt it. A woman is weak. Remember that, Joe. They’re easy to fool.”

“Your opinion of women isn’t very high, is it?”

“I think it is. Just got to know their weaknesses. How you going to take care of them if you don’t know that? Well, back to my plan. I can’t decide whether to be a rich rancher or go into business and start a saloon.”

“Your wife might have strong feelings about that.”

“Well, maybe I’ll just find a rich widow and marry up with her. Then I won’t have any decisions to make. I’ll just take her money and have a good time the rest of my life.”

Joelle kept the conversation going, for she enjoyed Chad’s foolishness. Suddenly she saw Jack Benbow slouching along with Lonnie Tate and Ash Landon. They were headed for the saloon, of course. “I don’t like the way Benbow keeps trying to provoke Owen into a fight, Chad.”

“He’s the kind of fellow who can judge a man only one way,” Chad said soberly. “Can he kill him?”

“What a terrible way to live!”

“It seems to be born in some men. He’s a dangerous fellow, Benbow is. I’ve been keeping an eye on Owen’s back. I may have to put Benbow down myself.”

“Would you do that?”

“In a second. Benbow’s never been any good. He’s nothing but a killer, and as far as I can see, that’s all he ever wants to be.”

The two continued until Hardin left her to go to the saloon, and she went into the general store to get a few supplies.

* * *

“I HAD A PRETTY good time at the fort, Pa.”When Davis Hall looked down at Benny, he grinned. “So did I. It’s a wonder all that candy and soda pop didn’t make you sick.”

Benny Hall turned his fair blue eyes on his father. He was a thoughtful young man. At age twelve, he seemed to have absorbed some mature qualities. “Why’d you buy me all that candy? You let me have all I wanted.”

“Well, I guess maybe I wanted to see how much candy a twelve-year-old would hold.”

“Ma said she was afraid you’d make me sick.”

“Well, I didn’t, did I?”

“No, you proved one thing though.”

“What’s that, Son?”

“I didn’t think there was enough candy in the world for me, but while you kept feeding it to me, I didn’t even like it anymore. Had to turn it down.” Benny shook his head in wonder. “Sure enough thought I’d never turn candy down.”

Davis Hall reached down and tousled the boy’s hair, the same tawny color as his own. He had taken the boy back behind the train where the stock was driven. It was his turn to lend a hand, and lately he had started taking Benny with him at every opportunity. The two had grown closer, something he had always dreamed of, and now he said, “Well, that’s the way
it is with most things a man hankers after. Most of the time he

comes to the end of it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Pa.”

“Well, I don’t guess I do either. Just that things we long after don’t always satisfy us. Maybe we’re looking for the wrong things.”

“I don’t know what that has to do with candy.”

“Well, it’s candy you want now, but you’re twelve. Pretty soon you’ll be thirteen and fifteen, and then, Son, you’ll find yourself chasing after some other things.”

“Like what?”

“Well, the things young fellows think they have to chase after. They think they have to prove how tough they are so they start experimenting with drinking and gambling and finally women, of course.”

“Did you do that?”

“Sure did.” There was regret in Davis’s voice. “I wish I hadn’t now.”

“You don’t drink much. No more than any other fella on the train.”

“No, not my weakness.”

He waited for the boy to ask what was his weakness and realized that Benny never would ask the question.
Why, he
already knows my weakness!
The thought shamed him for he knew that Benny had heard, more than once, Aiden bringing him up short because of his tendency toward other women. He wanted now to say something that would form some kind of justification for his life before his son, but he knew there was nothing.
I’ve ruined it all. There’s no way now I can gain
Benny’s respect, and Aiden will always hate me.

“Why do you and Ma fight so much?”

This was not the question Benny had wanted to ask. Davis recognized that at once. It was Benny’s way at getting at the problem without embarrassing him, and he was amazed at his young son’s sensitivity. “Because I’ve been a bad husband and a bad father too.”

The two had stopped their horses, waiting for the stock to get ahead of them. Benny was framing a question that had been troubling him, but it took him a long moment before he could ask. “Why don’t you be better, Pa?”

At that instant Davis Hall came face to face with his wrongdoing. He had seen men who never seemed to face up to their problems, but he was a better man than that, all signs to the contrary. He knew he had to make a drastic choice, and he said quietly, “I’m going to try, Son. I’m promising you that.”

A light came into Benny’s eyes, and his face grew less tense. “That’s good, Pa,” he said. “You can do it too.”

* * *

BENNY WATCHED HIS FATHER leave to go on night guard. They had had a good supper, and, as usual, there had been little talk between his parents. Benny had done most of the talking, and finally, when he helped his mother clean up, she said, “Tomorrow, if we stop early enough, I’m going to bake you a pie. I’ve got just enough dried peaches.”

“Gosh, Ma, I’d love to have a fresh pie.”

“So would I. Now, let’s have us a cup of coffee, sit down, and we can talk.”

“All right, Ma,” Benny said quickly. He poured the coffee into two cups, no more than an inch in his, to which he added sugar, and then he stirred it vigorously.

“Well, now. Tell me what you’re going to do when you get to California? You going to be a miner?”

“Shucks, Ma, I don’t want to be a miner. All they do is dig around in the ground.”

“Well, I think that’s right. Why don’t you be a doctor?”

“I’m not smart enough for that.”

Aiden reached over and pulled his hair. “Don’t you say that. I didn’t give birth to no fools.”

“Oh, Ma, you know I couldn’t be a doctor.”

“I don’t see why not. Why don’t you talk to Dr. Temple? Ask him how hard it is and how to get started.”

Benny said, “That would take a long time.”

The two sat there, and she realized he had fallen quiet. “What is it, Son? You worried about something?”

Benny turned and said, “I wish you and Pa wouldn’t fight so much, Ma. Why do you do it?”

“Just something between grown-ups.”

“Will it ever be any better?”

The question hurt Aiden. “I loved your father once, but he wasn’t faithful to me, Son. You know that.”

“Don’t you love him, Ma?”

“Not anymore.”

Aiden saw that her reply had quenched Benny’s spirit. She didn’t know how to soften the blow and waited for him to speak. Finally he looked up, and she saw pain in his eyes. “If I let you down, Ma, will you not love me anymore?”