Josie Griffin Is Not a Vampire (5 page)

“Or should you say, keep your fangs clean?” Tarren asked. That killed Avis. He doubled over, cackling.

“Listen, faerie girl,” Johann said, “I’ve not touched a human…”

“Don’t talk to her like that,” Avis snapped.

“Yeah, don’t talk to me that way,” Tarren said. “Just because you’re undead doesn’t mean I can’t zap you.”

Undead?

“I can smell your blood from here,” Johann warned. Avis hopped up, one foot on his seat, the other on the desk as if he were ready to leap, only his feet got tangled up and he fell face first toward the floor where he landed sprawled at Helios’s feet. Like a flash of lightning, Helios vaulted over the back of his chair and crumpled into a ball on the floor while Avis and Johann stood nose to nose with their fists balled at their sides. While the two of them stared at each other, the lights flickered overhead as if there were a sudden power surge.

I was riveted to my seat, half scared and half dying to see what the lunatics would do next. It was like a movie, only real. Would they actually get in a fight?

“Enough!” Charles yelled. He was out of his seat, arms above his head, and just at that moment, a giant clap of thunder rattled the windows. “Each of you calm down before I have to restrain you.” His voice boomed nearly as loud as the storm outside.

I looked around the room, wondering if anyone
other than me was sane. My eyes landed on Helios who’d slipped back into his seat and calmly examined a hangnail, as if he was bored with the whole ordeal. Maybe this happened all the time. Whether it did or not, Charles’s threat had diffused the situation. Avis took a few breaths and got back into his chair, but he never took his eyes off Johann who stared steely daggers back at him.

“Let’s use this as a learning event,” Charles said. “Breathe deeply.” Everyone but me joined together on an inhale while Charles counted to four, then they all exhaled together. I felt like I was in a yoga class. Were we going to salute the sun next? “Do you see what this kind of anger does?” Charles asked. “It tears us apart. And we can’t afford to have factions.”

Then he turned to me. “And on Josie’s first day here. What must she think of us?”

Johann bowed deeply toward me. “My deepest apologies, Yosie.” He reached for my hand. I tried to squirm away but his grip was strong. He lifted my hand toward his mouth and laid a strangely cold kiss on my skin. “I am ashamed of my behavior.”

“Yeah, um, no sweat,” I said, wrenching my hand away from him and wiping it on my jeans.

“We wouldn’t really hurt each other,” Tarren said. She reached out and patted Johann’s shoulder. “I mean, we get pissed off at each other and vent sometimes, but really, we’re a big happy family.”

“Or fappy hamily, as you once called us,” Johann
said and slipped his arm around her tiny shoulders.

She laughed. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

“Truth is,” Avis said, “we’ve got each other’s backs and what happens in this group stays in this group.”

Everyone around the room nodded.

“Josie, can you share with the group what you’re feeling?” Charles asked me.

“Well.” I squirmed, wondering if it was impolite to point out to crazy people that they’re crazy. “No offense. This has been a fascinating experience and all, but I don’t think this is the right group for me.”

“And why is that?” Charles asked.

“Oh well, you know. The time isn’t a great match for my schedule and…” I started to stand up. Curious or not, I thought I’d be better off with a group of kids who weren’t nutso.

“Josie?” Charles looked intently at me. “What are you?”

“What am I doing?” I asked, uncertain. “I’m leaving.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Charles said. “I asked, what are you?”

My eyes darted around the room at the others watching me. I could tell them what I wasn’t. I wasn’t a girl who thought she could turn jerky guys into dogs and I wasn’t a guy who went running naked through a park chasing squirrels and I would never kill a horse. “I’m just a girl,” I said quietly. “An ordinary girl who got a little pissed off and lost my temper one day.” I felt like
shrinking now. Ever since Kevin, Madison, and Chloe betrayed me, I thought I had the biggest problems in the world. I tried to pretend I was tough and could handle anything. But compared to everyone here, I might as well have gone back to the cheerleading squad.

“Would anyone like to say anything to Josie?” Charles asked.

Helios was the only one who spoke up. “It took each of us a few sessions to feel we could expose what we’ve hidden for so long. At times it is difficult. We’ve spent so many years covering, but once you allow yourself to open up here, it will be worth it.”

The others nodded in agreement.

“Despite what you just witnessed, I can assure you that you are safe here,” Charles said. Then he glanced at his watch. “Oops! Time’s up.” He gathered his papers and smiled at everyone. “I think we made some progress today.”

o
utside, the rain stopped and the clouds were moving off toward the east so that the early evening sun illuminated the empty office buildings surrounding us. Downtown Indy was dead after five o’clock when all the little office drones headed for their big screen TVs in the burbs. The only person I saw was a homeless guy rooting through a trash can across the street.

As I fished for my car keys, Tarren walked up and said, “We always go out afterward. You want to come?”

“It would be delightful if you joined us, Yosie,” Johann said, giving me that half-creepy stare like he thought he could change my mind.

Helios walked up. My eyes wandered to his lips. What would it be like to kiss someone that gorgeous? “We can go somewhere nearby,” he said.

I liked the
we
in that sentence, so I nodded and said, “Okay, I’ll tag along.” Because whether these kids were
crazy or not, who in their right mind would pass up an opportunity to hang out with smoking hot Helios?

“You want to go to Buffy’s?” Tarren asked.

“Ugh, always with the Buffy’s,” said Johann.

“Come on.” Tarren smacked Johann’s back. “It’s fun, plus the southwestern cheddar poppers are jamming.”

“Anyway what do you care what we eat?” Avis asked and held his hand up for a high five from Tarren.

“Let’s go,” Avis said and grabbed my arm. “This self-awareness BS makes me hungry!” Then he looked to the sky, and I swear to god, he crowed.

Okay, forget what I said about Indy being boring. Turned out, I was hanging out with the wrong people. If you’re a certifiably insane juvenile delinquent, the town was popping. Take Buffy’s, for example. How did I not know it was there? Because to get to it you had to go through a nondescript parking garage on Jefferson, down three flights of stairs, over a cement retaining wall, and through an unmarked door, that’s why.

Once we got inside, Johann was quickly surrounded by a league of super skinny girls dressed head to toe in Zombie Apparel atrocities. Short shorts over black fishnet stockings with plunging see-through V-necks over ripped-up tank tops—exactly the look half the cheerleaders were trying to cop this summer. Ugh. But, for a guy who nearly gave himself a hernia hitting on me, he was surprisingly uninterested in the Zombie Love Attack! taking place around him. The delegation
of Johann lovers whispered in his ear and clung to him like ants on a stick but he extracted himself from their lair and sidled up to me instead.

“What’s with the love zombies?” I asked.

He laughed. “Ah, love zombies! That is a funny one, Yosie. That is what I will call them from now on. You are very delightful.” He grabbed my hand and planted another cold, dry kiss on my knuckles. I wrenched it away. Then he leaned against the counter where the crowd ordered sodas, energy drinks, and coffee from three baristas dressed all in white. Johann leered at me and said, “Would you like to dance, Yosie?”

“Dance?” I didn’t know whether to be grossed out or to laugh.

“Perhaps the rumba or a tango.” He pressed one hand against his belly and swiveled his hips in the most nauseating way. “Or do you like the disco?” He struck a pose and I nearly threw up in my mouth.

“Johann, are you for real?” I asked.

“What do you mean, am I for real?” He looked a bit wounded.

“It’s just that everything you say and do make it seem like you’re trying to hit on me and the way you look at me…”

“Do you feel my power?” He gave me the cheesy, one-eyebrow-up grin.

“Look, Johann, no offense. I know we just met and all, but it ain’t going to happen.”

His shoulders slumped.

“What’s the prob, homie? Lady troubles again?” Avis asked, slapping Johann on the back. Then he handed me some kind of iced mochaccino concoction with whipped cream. Yummy.

Avis flashed me a knowing grin. “Don’t take Yo too seriously, Josie. He can’t help being on the prowl.”

“Ack, what good does it do me?” Johann shrugged his shoulders in a way that reminded me of my grandfather. “In the old country, at the discotheques, I had the women eating out of my palm.” He stopped with a gleam in his eyes.

“Mind games,” Avis said with a knowing glance, only I couldn’t imagine Johann being slick enough to mess with anyone’s mind.

Then Johann sighed and waved his hand dismissively. “But with you?”

I licked whipped cream from my lips. “Dude,” I said. “What about all the other girls in here?”

“Meh,” he said with a shrug.

“Or the love zombies?” I pointed to the skinny club who sat staring blankly at Johann from across the room. “Go dance with them.”

He nearly shuddered. “No thank you.”

“Who are they?” I asked.

“Messed up, that’s who,” Avis said with a cackle.

I followed Avis and Johann to a table where the rest of the group dug into baskets of deep fried goodness. “We didn’t know what you’d like,” Tarren said, “so we ordered one of everything to share.”

I grabbed a stool and pulled it between Helios and Avis. “Thanks,” I said, loading up a plate with fried mushrooms, French fries, some kind of puffy cheese ball things, and what appeared to be deep fried mini Snickers bars. Johann sat across from me, looking glum and not eating a thing while everyone else snarfed down the snacks.

“Do any of you have to do community service?” I asked between bites.

“Ah, yes,” Helios said. “The rehabilitation model. Criminals should be cured rather than punished. It’s as old as Plato himself.”

Seriously, if the guy weren’t so freakin’ hot, he would have been a total dork.

“We all have to do it,” Tarren told me. “It’s supposed to make us more a part of the upworld community, so we’re not lurking down here, getting ourselves into trouble.”

I glanced around. This hardly looked like the kind of place anyone could get in trouble. There was music playing, some video games, a small stage in the back, and lots of kids just hanging out talking, eating, laughing.

“What did you get stuck with?” Avis asked while picking at some tempura veggies.

“Some place called Helping American Girls,” I said with a snort. “Sounds like a rehab center for dolls doing drugs.”

The others laughed but Tarren frowned. “I know that place,” she said. “It’s in my neighborhood.”

“What’s it like?” I asked.

“Creepy,” she told me. “I get whaddya call it—like bad static from the woman who runs it.”

“Can’t be any worse than my social worker,” I said. “She was a nut. Her office was a total wreck. She didn’t even have a computer. I was like, ‘Ever heard of the Internet, lady?’” They all looked at me kind of funny. “What?”

“You mean you want your record computerized?” Tarren asked.

“Er, uh, I don’t know. Just seems easier than all the paper,” I said. Then I mumbled, “She wasn’t very organized,” and I wondered if I sounded like Old Josie who prized organization and neatness above all else.

“But the Council fought so hard for our records to be kept off the Internet,” Tarren said, like I was a total jerk for suggesting otherwise.

“Why?” I asked. “What have you got against the Internet?”

Avis shook his head. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t need racists and demon hunters after me.”

“Demon hunters!” I said and groaned because Kevin and his friends were the kinds of idiots who trawled the Internet for stupid stuff like demon sightings and ghost hunting apps for their phones.

“Laugh if you want but at least the Council is trying
to protect our records and keep us out of the public eye,” Tarren said.

“Is this the same Council that Charles was talking about today?” I asked. They all nodded, but I was still lost. “Who are they?”

Everyone turned to Helios. He sighed and wiped his hands clean before he spoke. “About fifty years ago, some high-powered paras…”

“Including Helios’s ancient old grandfather, Hyperion, who flew in all the way from Mount Olympus,” Tarren said.

“And boy were his arms tired,” Avis added, then laughed himself silly while everyone else groaned.

Helios scowled at Tarren and Avis. “Hyperion is a Titan, not an Olympian. Haven’t you read Rick Riordan?” Jeez, I thought as they stared at each other, they were taking themselves very seriously. But Helios looked away then continued his explanation. “They negotiated a deal with the state government to allow our kind to live a parallel life here as long as we don’t use our powers.”

“Your kind?” I asked.

“Paras,” Tarren said impatiently.

“And by paras you mean…?”

“Paranormal human beings, duh,” she said.

“Including you,” Helios added.

“Me?” I asked and nearly laughed.

“The whole para community,” Helios said.

“There are more?” I asked.

Avis looked at me funny. “Did you think your family were the only ones?”

Before I could answer, Helios said, “Surely your parents told you about the Council.”

I shook my head.

“Well, they should have,” Tarren said. “Because if you mess up again, Josie Griffin, your family could be, you know, um, deposted.”

“She means deported,” Avis said. “To Saskatchewan.”

“Your whole family can get kicked out of the country if you piss off this Council?” I asked, and they all nodded. Even if they were crazy, that hardly seemed right. “That’s not fair.”