Journey into the Realm: The Stolen Child (Journey into the Realm Series) (21 page)

“That’s the part of the story I don’t like talking about,” he disclosed, turning away from me then.

I gently placed my hand against his back. I could feel the warmth of his skin through his clothes, which was unusual for an elf. Still, I was comforted by the feeling. “I’m sorry I have to make you do this, but I need to know. Please.”

He nodded. “Of course. After all these years, you deserve to know what really happened. But I would rather show you than tell you.”

I blinked. “How?”

He turned to face me. “I’ll show you the memory.”

“In order to do that, I’ll have to see your whole life,” I confessed. I didn’t know how he would feel about that and I didn’t want to intrude.

“When was the last time you used your ability?” he inquired.

I shrugged. “A few months ago in ability school, but I can’t remember the exact date.”

He nodded. “I thought so. As half-fairy, I can promise you that your powers have expanded since you received them. Before you take my hands, think about me, and think about when you were thirteen. That’s when it happened.”

I felt butterflies in my stomach. I had no idea if this was going to work, but just like I had when I was a kid, I trusted Eder. I had to try. I nodded and closed my eyes. I thought of Eder. I remembered what it was like to be thirteen: middle school, sleepovers with Carmen, my awkward growth spurt. I held on to those memories as I took his hands.

When I opened my eyes, I was no longer in the Woodland Fairy Realm. I was at the park near my old house in Wisconsin. It was dusk. No children claimed the jungle gym or sandbox. I sat alone on a red-painted swing, making grooves in the woodchips with my bare feet.

My ability had never worked like this before. It was like I had been transported back in time. I was thirteen again. But I couldn’t control my movements. I was just watching from the inside. It was the strangest feeling I had ever experienced.

I looked at my legs, long and gangly. My hands, smaller and younger than they were now. My hair was shorter. I remembered my mother forcing me to cut it during 7
^th
grade, which had devastated me because the new hairstyle showed my pointy ears too much.

Eder came into view. He didn’t look any different. I did the math and realized that at this point in time he was nineteen, already done growing. He wasn’t an awkward teenager.

I felt my thirteen-year-old self blush fiercely upon seeing him. Uh oh. I liked Eder. Really liked him. To me, he was more than just my friend and protector. And I didn’t care that he was six years older.

I was smiling, but he wasn’t. He was visibly upset. His muscles were tense as he sat in the swing next to me.

For a while, we didn’t speak. I felt suddenly shy around him. He never behaved like this. He was always happy to see me, always grinning from pointy ear to pointy ear, the feature that had always united us.

“What’s wrong?” I finally asked. I reached for his hand, but he moved his to his lap. “Eder?”

“Everything,” he muttered softly. “Everything’s wrong.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, worried and confused. “What happened?”

“I received word from your mother. I’m no longer your protector.”

I felt as though I had been punched in the gut. I was stunned. “What? Why?”

“I’ve grown too close to you. She doesn’t want…she doesn’t think we should…,” he trailed off, unable to settle on the right words.

“She doesn’t want us to be together,” I realized.

He nodded. “That’s what the letter said. Ramsey, your mother knows things we don’t. She has reasons for why she’s doing this.”

“What reasons?” When he didn’t respond, I groaned in frustration. “Let me guess; I can’t know until I’m sixteen?”

Again, he nodded. I kicked at the woodchips angrily, tears pricking my eyes. I felt a splinter stick my toe, but the possibility of losing Eder was more painful, so I ignored it.

“I should have kept my distance. But I was selfish. I’m so sorry, Ramsey,” Eder professed, his voice cracking.

“No,” I said, standing up. I crossed my arms against my chest. “You have nothing to be sorry for. What she’s doing isn’t fair. You’ve protected me for over seven years. Why does it matter how close we are?”

“She has a plan for your future, and it doesn’t include us together,” he admitted.

I stomped my foot against the ground. I knew I was acting like a child. “I don’t care about her stupid plan! I care about you.”

“I care about you, too,” he said earnestly, standing up to take my hands. “But your mother is right. You have a destiny that I can’t interfere with.”

“I can’t lose you,” I whispered, tears slipping down my cheeks. “Please, Eder.”

“You won’t lose me completely,” he said quickly, trying to reassure me. “I just have to stay away until you turn sixteen, when you’re ready to face your fate.”

“Can we be together then?” I asked, suddenly hopeful.

His face fell. “No. As much as I wish things could be different, I can only be your friend.”

“Why? Because my mother said so?” I shook my head. “Don’t listen to her.”

“I have to,” he said urgently, gripping my hands tighter. “If I don’t agree to her terms now, I’ll never see you again. I want to – I need to be there to help you in the future. If that means being there as just a friend, so be it. At least I’ll be there.”

“Don’t you love me?” I wondered.

“Ramsey, I –”

“Eder, do you love me or not?” I demanded.

He looked me in the eyes. “You know I do. No matter how foolish it is….”

“It’s not foolish, because I love you, too. That’s all that matters.” I put my arms around him, held him close. He responded by putting his arms around my waist and holding me tight, pressing his lips to my ear.

“If I could go back, I wouldn’t change anything,” he whispered.

I tried to swallow away the tightness in my throat. “Neither would I.”

“But I have to leave,” he insisted.

I pulled away. “Then leave. I’ll wait for you. Three years, and I can have everything, right? Even you. I don’t care what my mother says. I’ll convince her that we’re meant to be together,” I assured him.

“You won’t feel the same way when that day finally comes,” he said.

“You have no idea how I’ll feel,” I argued. “I’ll wait for you.”

“Ramsey –”

“I’ll wait for you,” I said with as much strength in my voice as I could muster. “And you’ll wait for me, won’t you?”

Eder sighed. “I will, but know that I won’t hold it against you if you don’t.”

“Stop talking like that,” I said. “This isn’t how we’re going to say goodbye.” I stepped toward him and took his hands. Before he could protest, I pressed my lips against his. He didn’t have the will to pull away, and kissed me with equal fervor. Heat rushed through me, the touch of his lips lighting me on fire.

It was a simple kiss, the only one we ever shared, but at the young age of thirteen, I experienced passion for the first time.

“Goodbye,” Eder murmured against my lips.

Numbed by his kiss, I could say nothing.

The memory ended.

I opened my eyes to find them filled with unshed tears. I was sixteen again and able to control my actions. Eder stood before me, watching me expectantly. I dropped his hands, shocked by what the memory had revealed.

“I still don’t understand,” I said. “Why can’t I remember that? The things we said…the
kiss
….”

Eder’s face was somber, his eyes heavy with sadness. His despair weighed on my heart. “Your mother wanted a fresh start for you. She wanted our first meeting to be the day I was supposed to take you from the Human Realm. So she erased all your memories of me. I knew it at the time, but I couldn’t tell you without informing you about magic, which was strictly forbidden.”

“How did she do that?” I asked.

“It’s one of her abilities. Normally, she has to touch someone to erase a memory, but because of your shared blood she was able to do it from an entirely different Realm,” Eder explained. “You went to sleep that night believing you could wait for me. You woke up with no recollection of my existence.”

I shut my eyes tightly, causing tears to finally fall. “You were right,” I said hoarsely. “My feelings changed. I didn’t wait.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Ramsey,” he uttered gently.

I nodded. “I know, but it’s still horrible. How could she do that? My own mother. She was already in control of my destiny. How could she control me completely?”

“She loves you, Ramsey. She’s your mother. She does what she believes is best for you,” he said plainly.

“Well, she went too far,” I snapped. Seeing his shocked expression, I sighed heavily. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to take my anger out on you.”

“I know,” he said. “You’ve just realized there are missing pieces to your past. It’s understandable for you to react this way.”

I looked down at the pale grass, suddenly unsure of how to articulate my feelings. “Eder, while I was experiencing that memory, I felt what my thirteen year old self felt. I…I felt that love for you. But –”

“You don’t feel it now,” he finished for me.

I shook my head. “I don’t. My mother turned me into a Ramsey who didn’t meet you until that night on the bridge. A Ramsey whose first love was an elf named Stellan. A Ramsey whose true love is trapped in Ellamara with my other friends.”

Eder nodded. “I understand. My feelings have never changed. I waited for you like I promised I would. But I also said I wouldn’t hold it against you if you didn’t. I’m not asking for anything from you. After all these years, I just felt you needed to know the truth.”

“Thank you for giving me that,” I said honestly, taking only one of his hands. I didn’t want to see any more memories I would never remember myself. I wouldn’t even try. “I’m sorry you’ve had to suffer because of me.”

“I haven’t suffered, Ramsey,” he said. “While I wish things could be different, I respect your mother’s decision. In the end, I only care that you’re safe.”

I half-smiled, not knowing what to say. “So…why were you there that night on the bridge? To finally take me from the Elf Realm? I wasn’t sixteen yet.”

“Plans changed when we found out about Zora. We decided you needed the chance to save her. So I started shadowing you again, waiting for Addison and Stellan to seek you out so I would know when you reached the Elf Realm. But when you nearly drowned from that water fairy attack, I had to intervene.” I nodded, urging him to continue. “Once you were safely in the Elf Realm, I returned as a guard to Queen Taryn, which had been my job since I left you. I wanted to speak with you after you rescued your sister, but she stopped me. In the months following, you know I tried writing, but your sister wanted to protect you from your secret, so she hid my letters. By the time you returned to Tarlore, Vortigern had already placed the restrictions on the Realms. Your mother decided your journey was something you had to go through without me until it was absolutely necessary that I get involved. She believed your objective experiences would solidify your commitment to your destiny. So I did my best to make it as easy as possible by traveling ahead of you and finding allies for you in each Realm.”

I took a deep breath, processing everything he had just confessed. “A lot changed because of Zora. I can’t believe my mother risked the entire mission so I could save her.”

He nodded. “Like I said, she loves you, Ramsey.”

“She just couldn’t fit our relationship in her plans,” I summed up.

He smiled half-heartedly. “Exactly.”

“What would you have done if Zora hadn’t been kidnapped?”

“Brought you directly to the rebellion, to Joseph on your sixteenth birthday. There we would have explained everything, waited until your Golden fairy side showed, and then we would have sent you to the Golden Fairy Realm to reunite with your mother.”

“The rebellion exists because Joseph knows my prime objective is supposed to be fixing the Golden Fairy Realm, not ending the war,” I deduced.

Eder nodded. “Yes. The rebellion is your mother’s backup plan just in case you can’t persuade Queen Titania to help. Or in case you can’t save the Golden Fairy Realm from whatever threat it’s facing.”

I sighed. “Well, I’m going to do both. I’m going to defeat the threat against the Golden Fairy Realm – whatever it is – and I’m going to help end the war. Too many sacrifices have been made for me to fail. Eder, when we reach the Element Fairy Realm, take me to the man in red,” I asked, remembering Brielle’s instructions before I started my journey, when she said I would know who to say those words to. Now I did. Eder would lead me to the rebellion, to Joseph.

He smiled. “It would be an honor.”

I bit back my own smile. I didn’t know how to feel after everything I had just discovered. I felt lost, wondering who I truly was: the Ramsey I was before my mother erased my memories, or the Ramsey I was now. Maybe they were the same. Maybe Eder’s involvement in my life would never have had anything to do with who I turned out to be. But I would never know. And I would never know if I would have made the same choices had my love for him remained. If I would still have fallen in love with Nathan.

I shook my head. I couldn’t think about any of that right now. The possibilities were too endless and confusing for me to analyze. My friends were still stuck in Ellamara, and I hadn’t yet obtained the crown. It was high time I addressed that situation.

“So what now?” I asked Eder. “What do we do about Ellamara?”

“Let’s rejoin the centaurs, and I’ll explain the plan.”