Joyous and Moonbeam (6 page)

Go back, you say, mister, go back. But Joyous never did like going back to school after warm and quiet holiday days because of all that shiny concrete that is hurting my eyes and the hard pieces like the cruel boys like Matthew Berrings so always try to be remembering my dadda's advice and Mamma who did be saying the importance of a good education. And I do recall I was being on the bus and ignoring the throwing things and badness words but it was not the easiest of times so I did take pencils and pad and open to doodles on the bus. Which was being fine and dandiful until Troy Smee did lean down and be ripping
my pad and breaking my pencils, particularly my favoured burned-orange-sunset one and laugh at my doodles which were ducks and Sasha and Mamma and the farm. And one day they did take my pad and be hiding it and laughing fit to burst at the seams then the next day someone did pin my drawing of Mamma to the board cork on the canteen wall next to Daily Notices and write swearing about her beautiful hair and be drawing underneath a horrid shape of body which was hard to work around a little but I did be imagining in my head and then I did be telling Troy Smee that Mamma was a picture in a gallery and who can say better than that, eh? Who can say better than that?

At school my bestest teacher ever for all time was Mrs Swain who was a lady. Joyous is saying lady instead of woman because even though Mrs Swain was both she was more of a lady who was never angered and always be saying, Good morning, Joyous, in the nice way, the Moonbeam way of white light bouncing off dark water. Mrs Swain did be showing Joyous his favoured subject which was maths and I was being good at, especially numbers tables and fractionals called arithmetic in my head without writing. After a short amount of time Mrs Swain became Joyous's only teacher of all day which was the bestest time of all forever because she did be telling me I was being put into the special needs of categories. So Joyous could be with Mrs Swain in a special room with good colours and soft
music like lifts in the big shops and soft bags of beans all the time except for lunchtimes which was for Mrs Swain's coffee and also when the cruel boys did be coming to find me in a big circle like lions and play tricks which was not dandiful. But always I was trying to be respecting of Mamma's words and be feeling sorry for them which was not easy when Joyous was being tripped into the stinky ditch of mud and having burned cigarettes pushed into my arms and legs.

So that was my day-to-day, mister, until the job with Mr and Mrs Ickiewicz. Joyous was going to school for good lessons with Mrs Swain then be coming home to watch TV and sometimes be helping Sammy-K with odd-jobs when he wanted me to help but not when he was resting with Mamma of a dark afternoon and the door closed and, Get going, Mong! So Joyous would be taking Sasha for walkies in the favoured park. Which was a goodness because Sasha is a most bounciful dog who likes to be sniffing the air and licking hands and always reminding me of my dream about the farm where Mamma used to live and her favoured church and Thomas Bowen, my namesake. And when Joyous was saddened and not able to work things around a little, like times when Sammy-K had been hitting after the angry and the drinking and saying, Shut up, Spazzo! Shut up, Dumb-dick! then Sasha was muchly a friend though still a dog with a big red tongue
and galloping habits. So that's the plain and simple kookity end of that.

The day after Joyous did become fourteen years and nine months of old Mamma did be seeing Mrs Swain and said to her no more of the cruel boys because Joyous was leaving school to be a hard worker in a corner shop with Mr and Mrs Ickiewicz. Which I was happily enough about though missing Mrs Swain who was a friend of mine and a lady who did give me a goodbye gift of a book of puzzles and was especially dandiful at numbers and fractionals called arithmetic in my head without writing. So that sunny and pleasant afternoon of change Mamma did take me to the corner shop which was three streets away but easy to find by staying left then left again cross at the lights and it was made of white boards and some red bricks which were crumbly and a blackboard in the front with Specials which was dandiful seeing as it is Mamma's favoured word for Joyous. And suddenly, just like that, lo and behold, I was being a man with a badge and a uniform, though no gold braid and I was secretly saying to Mamma, What about Sammy-K? And she said, Don't worry, My Special, I'll sort it out. Though I was being worried because I had the badge and uniform, white with blue curled letters and Sammy-K didn't on account of him not walking out any more except for the drinking and anger.

Yes, mister, Joyous did love to be working at the
corner shop because it was mainly beneficial. Mr and Mrs Ickiewicz became new friends to Joyous and be showing me how to do my job. Soon I was putting the apples in neat lines on those cardboard trays and unpacking bags of potatoes to wash and bananas throwing out the black ones but not too many, mind, and a special treat was a strawberry or three, or a navel orange depending on the daily taking and be loving of mangoes for the smelling sweet. Then before the sun was being over the yard-arm I was helping the milkman Col and the juice man Mikey who called me old buddy old mate which was a good bit, not Mong or Spazzo, and the bread and pastries man Al who sometimes was holding out a Doughnut Delish and this would be putting the milk and juice in the fridge on the right shelves, cans of cordial and then the bread properly on racks so that it didn't be squishing out of the squares and pies in the warmer along with other savouries smelling yum. And Mr Ickiewicz was saying, You're a good worker, Joyous, I'll be teaching you the till soon, and we all did laugh in a googlish way about that, Mr Ickiewicz teaching me the till and Mrs Ickiewicz saying, Watch your back, Stan, that boy will be taking over the shop! Which was another honkingly good belly-laugh that I was having with my new friends indeedy-do.

And mister, Joyous is swearing to the Great Lord Almighty and his son Jesus who walked onto water to this
day forever and ever amen that he never did be stealing a thing or two from the corner shop because there is no memory of it so it must have been someone else like a stealing thief or perhaps someone of badness. Though Sammy-K did be saying he found things in my bedroom, three silvered lighters and some packets of Winnie Blue to sell to snotty kids and be making money which could not have been so because Joyous did not know the snotty kids but he was showing them to me and to Mr and Mrs Ickiewicz and I was in confusion so I said yes and Mr Ickiewicz did be saying how I was a let-down and a disgrace to my Mamma and myself and he had no choice but the sacking. Pack your things, leave the apron behind, hurry now, go. So Joyous did be leaving with my head bowed in downwards like the peeing day and heart split like a log and the last thing I did see was Mrs Ickiewicz standing near the pie warmer and she was crying in a truesome manner so I did feel worse at being the cause of such agonies and this was the hardest thing of all to be working around a little and is still a quiet cry from time to time alone.

At home was a badness on account of Sammy-K being angered with his hard hands until Mamma did be saying, No more, no more! Then there was no TV just being in my room having concentration on not being a nuisance to anyone, you disgrace, common thief, after all we've done,
bloody Mong. Then days later Mamma did give me back my coat and a second chance which was starting to work things around a little so we did be walking in the rain and visiting Mr Santorini at the working shop and he was a nice man, googlish like Mrs Swain, and he said I could come along for a time of trial so I did and have been since ever.

Hey, Joyous.

Moonbeam is being here in the park where Joyous is being!

Sure am.

Joyous has not been seeing Moonbeam in the park before on a Tuesday my favoured.

No. No, I decided … I had a day off. School.

Is this being a holiday day?

Yeah, that's it. Sure. Holiday-day.

And now you are being here with Joyous in the park my favoured.

Now I am. Is that okay? I don't want to interfere.

It is an okayness. Joyous is honkingly good-happy to be seeing Moonbeam.

Thanks. Um, where's the poo-dog? Don't you normally –

Sasha is being resting on account of a wearisome bout of doggy sickness.

Sorry to hear that.

Yes. But Sasha will be dandiful in time and rest.

Good. That's … good.

Moonbeam?

What?

You are in sadness.

Yeah, I guess so. I'm sad. Frustrated. Angry. Peed-off with everything.

Moonbeam, be telling Joyous for working it around.

If you like.

Joyous is liking.

Okay. Shit. What happened was, this morning we were having breakfast, just Mum and me. I think my father was still in bed. These days he's always … anyway, it was the usual, dreary silence, cold toast, cold tea, then she said – she said –

Moonbeam? You are crying big tear-drops.

I know. I'm sorry. Sorry. It's because – because she said, she accused me – she said, the way we are, our family, it's nothing to do with the past, it's now, it's you. She said,
We're trying, what about you? Then all this other shit – my behaviour, not helping out, the party, the library – I mean, those things were wrong, of course they were, but my parents, the way they are, it's them! She said, if I wasn't such a
trial
, so
ungrateful
and
difficult –
I mean, it's a lie, she can't possibly think that –

Moonbeam, be sitting down here on this bench with Joyous in restful quietness.

Yeah, okay. Sorry. Didn't mean to crack up. I just – it took me by surprise. I thought we'd finished with – but the suddenness of it all, and her anger, it was –

Would Moonbeam be liking of a lollipopsicle?

Are you having one?

Not before morning tea at ten o'clock in the morning. Joyous is not wanting to spoil –

Okay. Get it. Um, I'll have lime, please.

Lime is being good for days of sadness.

I guess. Ta.

So, will Moonbeam be telling Joyous more and maybe –

Work things around a little! I know. I know. Just give me a minute, okay?

It is an okayness. The sun is brightly this morning.

It is. Joyous, um, sorry I came here like this, I probably shouldn't have …

Joyous will not be telling Mr Santorini in case he is
saying no about visiting at the park on Tuesdays and Moonbeam can't be going to the working shop anymore.

Good idea. You'd better not tell, they'd probably ban me.

Joyous is not to be wanting Moonbeam banded.

Me either, big guy. But this morning, I had to get away. Not just from them, from the house, school, everything. Had to.

Mm.

Joyous, you should know, I'm not – I'm not the great person you seem to think I am. I did something bad, Joyous, really bad. Actually, a couple of bad things. And I know they were wrong, terrible, but I wasn't thinking straight and – I wish, I wish I could take it all back, have those times over and be different but –

Time is not for the taking back, Moonbeam. Like Mamma is saying when she is thinking of Thomas Bowen and the poorly judged whip-around,
Oh well, we can't be turning back time, Joyous, now can we?

No, of course not. Good old Mamma.

Now to be telling Joyous.

Okay. Last month I decided to have a party.

Parties are honkingly good! Joyous has been seeing fun and happy parties on the TV shows. Did Moonbeam be blowing up the balloons?

No. It wasn't that kind of party. It was supposed to
be – small, but I was in a bit of a mood so I stuck the invitation onto Facebook and heaps of people came who shouldn't have and – anyway, they trashed the place. Which was bad but I – this sounds horrible – I was kind of happy about it. I even watched them doing it. Stood back and didn't interfere, didn't do a thing. I guess I wanted it to be a wake-up call for my parents. Like, hello? You think this is a mess, what about the messes you're making of your lives? Not to mention mine! And I thought, at least if Dad gets angry then that's something – more than what there has been. But he didn't. He just waited until everyone left and then he cleaned up. Went around like a robot, picking up rubbish, sweeping and hosing til it was back to normal. I couldn't believe it. Mum went off her head but even that was fake. Turn on the switch, rant and rave, turn off the switch. She didn't care, not really.

Moonbeam –

My father cleaned up. It was unbelievable. He looked at me like – like he didn't recognise me, then he cleaned up.

Joyous is being happy to be helping with the clean-up.

I'm sure you are, big guy! So, anyway, that's how it was. Had the party, house got trashed, house got cleaned up, no real response. Fair enough, I thought to myself, fair enough, gotta do more. Gotta hurt them. See, irrational? Normally I'm not like that. But stuff changes in your head, crazy thoughts, and before you know it –

Moonbeam's head is still looking the same pretty and being nice to Joyous.

Well, thank you, but I can assure you that on the inside, it was a different story. Was? Is? Who knows? School was a bitch that week because I couldn't be stuffed. Hated it worse than usual. Hated the fakeness most of all. Pretending to be normal. Pretending to care while the teachers blithered on about exam week and priorities and being a role-model. Pretending to be interested while my so-called friends blithered on about this new boy called Jesse Williams and how hot he is and stupid stuff like, Are you coming to Kadie's on Saturday because it's going
off?
And, Last weekend was awesome, I was
so
drunk it was
so
cool! Bunch of lamers. And home just went back to the same, whatever that was –

Moonbeam.

Mm?

Please be talking more softly softly. The lady with the pram-baby is trying to be pricking up her ears.

Oh, sorry. I get carried away. Shush to me. So, that Thursday afternoon I stayed back after last class. Deliberately missed the bus. Knew I was going to do something but didn't know what. Wandered around in a kind of daze, you know, this weird sort of … zone. Hung around behind buildings so no one would spot me and ask questions. Didn't feel much, didn't even feel alive. I suppose
I was preparing – mentally. Then, around five o'clock, I went into the library. It was unlocked so I should've realised that was unusual and there could be a problem but I wasn't thinking properly. No logic, just cold and hard. Went into the library, went up to the front desk, and that's when I did it. And I've regretted it ever since, truly I have, and I do want to work things around, particularly with Bracks, but I just don't know how. I don't.

Moonbeam, Joyous is forgetting, what is Bracks?

Mrs Bracks. She's the principal at my college. As in head-honcho. Lady in charge.

And Moonbeam is feeling the sorrow for Miss Bracks?

Sure am. Bracks is tough but she's good to me. Likes me, apparently. Can't see why.

Joyous is also liking of Moonbeam so much to be happy.

Thanks, big guy. You're a legend.

Moonbeam.

Mm?

Once, when Joyous was to be telling something wrongful, a tiny lie, to Mamma and she was mostly upset, I did take some paper and write her a nice letter explaining.

Good for you. Did it work?

Yes, it was working. Letters aren't being hurtful. Letters have words that I am wanting and words that I am rubbing out so good. Speaking has no rubbing out.
So Joyous did be writing the letter.

That's true. About the rubbing out, I mean. Did your mother like your letter?

Yes. She did be keeping it as a momentum.

Memento?

Yes, as well.

So you're saying that I should write Bracks a letter.

Yes, that is being Joyous's idea.

And that's better than talking to her because at least I can make sure I only say the right things, not the bad stuff.

Moonbeam will be rubbing out the badnesses.

Yeah. Hey, I'll think about it, okay?

It is an okayness.

Warm today, isn't it? Warm and sunny. Hey Joy-ous, thanks for the lollipopsicle. And the chat. I needed it.

Welcome, Moonbeam. Cool.