Jude (Beautiful Mine #2) (20 page)

EVIE

I peeled my sweaty moving clothes off and climbed into the shower, rinsing the day away. Dinner with Jax, Carys, Jude, and Sam was in an hour. The thought of seeing Sam, the woman who took my place the second I left town, made me nauseous, but I swallowed those feelings as best I could, burying them deep within me.

I carefully blew out my hair with a boar bristle brush and took my time applying my makeup. With my new budget, I was able to afford higher quality products, and I’d taken time to speak with various department store beauty consultants to learn the proper way to wear them. I blended a dime-sized amount of sheer foundation into my moisturized skin, followed by some light contouring and highlighting. Rosy pink blush kissed my cheeks, and creamy taupe eye shadow lingered on my lids. Several coats of the most dramatic mascara I had helped my blue eyes pop, and a flick of cat-eye liner finished the look.

I squeezed myself into some black leather leggings and pulled a gray, drapeneck, sequined blouse over my head. I stepped into the tallest black heels I owned, spritzed on some French perfume, and emerged from the bathroom into my quiet apartment. A text waiting on my phone indicated Jax and Carys were down in the parking lot, waiting for me.

“Oh, my God,” Carys mouthed as I walked toward Jax’s car. I climbed in, pretending not to notice the way they stared at me. “I’ve never seen you so va-va-voom before.”

Jax said nothing. He didn’t have to. His face said it all.

“Here I thought I was going to have to do the old one-two mascara and lipstick touch-up with you,” Carys teased. She craned her neck as she looked me up and down some more.

I flashed a coy smile, soaking in the compliments that helped ease my nervousness a bit more. “I learned a thing or two in the last year.”

“Clearly,” Carys said, still mesmerized by my new look.

Jax pulled us into a parking spot twenty minutes later, walking ahead to go snag our table.

“I’m nervous, Carys,” I admitted the second I had her alone.

“About what?”

“To see Jude and Sam together,” I said. She linked her arm into mine as we walked. “What is she like?”

“She’s nice,” Carys said. “Annoying, sometimes. A little superficial. Harmless, really.”

“Are they all boyfriend and girlfriend-y?” I asked, wincing as I prepped myself for the answer.

Carys cocked her head to the side, thinking about it. “Kind of. Not really. They have an interesting dynamic.”

Her answer told me absolutely nothing.

“You’ll see what I mean,” she added. “He doesn’t look at her the way he used to look at you, if that’s what you’re asking. You
so
still love him.”

“Does it even matter now?” I groaned. “I’m just the pathetic girl who overreacted a few months ago and walked out of his life.”

“He’d take you back,” Carys said. “He’s not over you. Not yet.”

“Clearly, he is if he has a new girlfriend.” I couldn’t breathe as we entered the place. Dark mood lighting and light jazz played from the speakers. The faint rumble of quiet conversations buzzed all around me. There were candlelight and couples everywhere.

“There’s Jax,” Carys said, dragging me to a corner table where he sat amongst empty chairs. Jude and Sam weren’t there yet.

My heart pounded with every step that brought me closer to the table. Every minute that passed put me another minute closer to seeing Jude and Sam together. I didn’t know if I could do it. I didn’t know if I could see him with another woman. My eyes scanned the perimeter, searching for a clearly-lit exit sign just in case.

“Excuse me,” I said to Carys the second we got seated. “I’m going to run to the restroom real quick.”

I slammed my bag on the counter the second I flew into the tiny women’s room, hunching over and drawing in long, slow breaths. I glanced up at my reflection in the mirror, and for the first time in months, I saw fear on my face.

“Hey,” Carys said, slipping in the room. “What’s going on? You okay?”

“I feel like I’m going to be sick,” I groaned. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You don’t have a choice,” Carys said. “They’re here now.”

A punch to the gut.

“You’re doing this,” Carys said. “And you look stunning tonight. We need to show this off.” She playfully pinched my ass.

I stood up straight, tugging my shirt into place. I checked my makeup one last time and slicked on a fresh coat of lip balm. My hand covered my chest where the thumping served to remind me that I was still alive. I was going to be just fine.

“Let’s go,” Carys said, dragging me by my arm to the dining room.

We waded through a sea of people and tables until we returned to our cozy little nook, the backs of Jude and Sam facing us.

“We’re back,” Carys announced, slapping a smile on her face like nothing was the matter.

Jude turned around, nearly choking on his mouthful of beer when he saw me. Oblivious, Sam rubbed his back as he coughed.

“I’m Evie,” I said, extending my right hand to Sam.

“Nice to meet you!” Sam said, her white smile nearly blinding me as she shook my hand.

“Hi, stranger,” I said to Jude, taking the chair between him and Carys. His hazel eyes locked on mine.

“So, Evie,” Sam said, leaning into the space we shared. “Jude tells me you used to be married to his brother? I’m so sorry to hear about what happened.”

So kind of her to remind me of my deceased husband in that moment. Either she was a cunning bitch or a complete social idiot. My money was on the latter.

Our server approached, taking our drink orders. Vodka double for me.

“I’m surprised you’re not getting wheat bear tonight,” Sam said to Jude, as if she knew him so well.

“In the mood for something different,” Jude replied, his eyes casually drifting toward me. “You look good, Evie. There’s something different about you.”

“Thanks,” I said, watching his eyes fall to my lips before he turned away. The air between us was charged more than ever before, and there wasn’t a damn thing either one of us could do about it. “You seem happy.”

He bowed his head down, glancing over at Sam and then looking back at me.

“I could be happier,” he said, his voice barely audible enough for me to hear.

“Everything happens for a reason, right?” I looked over at Sam, who was sipping her freshly delivered gin and tonic and obliviously paging through the drink menu once more. She oozed confidence and sex appeal, the kind of girl who wasn’t afraid to go after what she wanted. She was beautiful in a Kim Kardashian, two-hours-of-hair-and-makeup-every-day sort of way.

“Will you excuse me for a minute?” I scooted my chair away. “I need some fresh air.”

I stood outside the restaurant, breathing in the chilly, December evening air. Christmas lights hung from the street lamps shaped like stockings and candy canes. Palm trees wrapped in yellow holiday lights lined the street. For the first time in all my life, I missed the snow. I forced myself to think about Christmas lights. Happy, carefree, jolly Christmas lights. I closed my eyes and let the chilled air brush against my cheeks as I pretended, for a moment, that icy little snowflakes were falling from the sky.

“Evie?” a man’s voice said softly a minute later. I opened my eyes to see Jude standing in front of me, alone.

“Hey,” I said, my eyes focusing on his face.

“Just checking on you,” he said. “Everything okay?”

“It was just a little stuffy in there.” I forced myself to play it cool. “I’m fine.”

He studied my face, not believing me, and bit his lip as if he were trying to stifle the words he so badly wanted to say. I stood, paralyzed, waiting for him to make the next move. I ached for him to kiss me again, the way he had that night when he first took me. I yearned for him to show me he still loved me. I wanted to hear him beg for another chance, just like he’d done the day I told him I was leaving town for a while.

Jude rubbed the side of my arm with his hand, the way a parent would comfort a kid. “We should probably head back inside.”

My irrational hopes were dashed in an instant. “Right.”

I followed him back into the restaurant where we reclaimed our seats. The server was in the process of taking food orders, and I hadn’t even so much as looked at the menu yet that night.

“Where the hell’d you two wander off to?” Carys whispered.

“Outside. I needed air,” I whispered back. “He checked on me. It was nothing.”

“Whatever,” Carys said with an eye roll.

Our food arrived a short time later, providing a much needed excuse from dissecting all the tension between us that night. I focused on the delicious pasta dinner steaming from my plate and ordered a second drink. Every so often, I’d glance over at Jude and Sam, shots of jealousy zinging through me each time I’d catch her trying to feed him a bite off her plate, like he was some kind of baby bird. Jude had completely abandoned all the attention he’d lavished on me earlier that night.

He’s a good man,
I reminded myself.
He wouldn’t ignore his date. That’s not his style.

The server took forever doling out checks and running our credit cards, and I was in sheer agony. I just wanted to get out of there and go home. I couldn’t take another moment of watching Sam grab Jude’s hand under the tablecloth or watching her rub his back as if it were second nature and they’d been together forever. It was always her touching him, though, never the other way around.

We walked out together, the five of us, and I did my best to stay glued to Carys and Jax, avoiding Jude like the plague. I didn’t want an awkward goodbye, and I didn’t want him to say anything that might remotely get my hopes up.

I headed toward Jax’s Audi until I heard Jude yelling from behind me. “Wait, Evie.”

He jogged toward me, his heavy shoes scuffing the pavement. “You weren’t going to say goodbye?”

I took a few steps in his direction, meeting him in the middle. Sam stood back by the front door of Blue Wave, mindlessly paging through her phone. “Sorry, you seemed a little preoccupied with your girlfriend.”

Jude laughed. “Don’t be like that. She’s
not
my girlfriend. We just hang out, that’s all.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

He opened his strong arms wide, waiting for me to step into his embrace, but I stood frozen, my arms crossed. He wrapped me up in his arms anyway, puling me close and burying his face into the side of my hair. He breathed me in, lingering for a few seconds too long before finally letting go.

“Look, I…” I started, my lips starting to tremble.

“Don’t say anything,” he said.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say,” I argued.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, turning back and glancing at Sam. She was in her own little world, chatting to someone on her phone. “Let’s not complicate things. Not here. Not now.”

“I guess I’m confused,” I said. I turned around. Jax and Carys were in his car already, sharing sweet kisses over the console and in their own little world. “I thought in the restaurant you implied you weren’t happy in your life right now, and then when you followed me outside, I thought you wanted to talk to me in private.”

“You’re confused?” he said with a sarcastic chuckle. “I think you know exactly how I feel, Evie.”

“Do I?” My hand flew to my hip. “I’m not sure I do.” Jude spoke in ancient hieroglyphs, and I didn’t have time to decipher everything.

“Hey, what’s going on here?” Sam said, skipping up to us with a clueless smile as she slipped her arm under Jude’s. She tossed her long, black hair over one shoulder and smacked her glossed lips together, evening out the color.

“Nothing,” Jude said. “Just saying bye to Evie here.”

“Oh, you going back to Kansas?” Sam asked, cocking her head to the side and feigning a pout, as if she were truly sad to see me go. “I keep telling Jude he needs to take me home to meet his family. I’m dying to see Halverford. It sounds adorable.”

“Great idea, Jude,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him. “Your parents would just love her!”

Jude shot me a dirty look.

“Yeah, I really want to meet his parents,” Sam said, pinching his arm like a five-year-old. “You never talk about them. I bet they’re really nice.”

She was a complete idiot.

“They are,” I said with a facetious air about my words. “Especially his mother. You’ll love her. Sweetest lady ever.”

“I just love him!” Sam squealed. I watched Jude’s face cringe with those words, leading me to believe it wasn’t mutual at all. “Isn’t he so cute?”

Jude stood rigid and uncomfortable with Sam hanging all over him, not once returning her affections.

“Evie, you coming?” Carys yelled from the passenger seat of the Audi, window cracked.

I reached up and bumped Jude’s shoulder with my fist, the way an old buddy would do, gave him a half smile, and strutted away to the car. Behind the shelter and shade of the tinted glass, I observed as Jude stood on the corner, Sam on his arm, and watched us drive off. Sam appeared to be rambling on and on about something, and he seemed to pay her no mind. He just stood there with his hands in his pockets, watching us drive away.