Judith Miller - [Daughters of Amana 01] (38 page)

“I’ve been making a feeble attempt to answer Carl.”

“I don’t understand why you’re having so much difficulty putting pen to paper. You’ve decided you’re not interested in living anywhere other than Amana. Isn’t that correct?”

“Yes, but—”

“And you believe Carl’s explanation, correct?”

“Well, yes, but there’s more to it than—”

Larissa held up her hand. “Do let me finish, Johanna.”

Lips sealed into a tight seam, I leaned back in my chair and waited.

“I know you were plagued by feelings of jealousy when you observed Karin and Carl in the barn that day. I believe if you didn’t care for Carl, you would have merely been surprised or startled when you saw them. After all, it isn’t an everyday occurrence to see a young couple locked in an embrace in Amana, correct?”

I wasn’t certain if I should answer. Only a minute ago she’d told me to remain silent, but when she continued to stare at me, I nodded. “Correct.”

“There you have it. You’re in love with Carl.”

“I am?”

Larissa sighed. “Yes. You’ve been longing to set matters right between the two of you, or you wouldn’t be sitting in this airless parlor staring at a blank sheet of paper.” She pointed to the piece of stationery. “I could dictate the letter if it would make it easier for you.”

“No thank you. I’ll manage.”

“You’re making it far too difficult. All you must do is tell him you’re sorry there was a misunderstanding between the two of you, that you accept his apology and look forward to seeing him, when you can discuss the future in person.” She gulped for air. “You see? Simple. Now write that down or leave the desk and let’s go to the park. We’ll visit the gardens and enjoy the day. Which will it be?”

I glanced out the window. The day was indeed far too lovely to remain indoors. “Both. I’ll write the letter, and then we can go post it and stop at the park afterward.”

Larissa clapped her hands together. “Perfect. I’ll arrange for the carriage and fetch my hat while you write your letter. Hurry, now.”

Using my best penmanship, I followed Larissa’s instructions. She’d been correct. I added a bit more than Larissa had suggested— enough to let Carl know that I was eager to see him and willing to see where the future would lead.

I had completed the letter and was sealing the envelope when Larissa returned. “I may arrive in Amana before the letter,” I said. My departure date had been moved up a week due to Wilhelm’s schedule. He’d promised Mother he would accompany me home. After all, an unmarried woman traveling alone would be highly frowned upon, and having Wilhelm along would provide great comfort.

“Then you should stay until Wilhelm returns from his business meetings in New York,” Larissa said as we left the house. “Louisa and I would both be delighted to have several more weeks to enjoy your company. And I don’t think Wilhelm would object. Why don’t I speak to him this evening?”

The driver assisted me into the carriage, and once I’d taken my seat, I shook my head. “No. Please don’t do that. Mutter would be troubled if I delayed my return. I’ve already written and told her I’ll be coming home earlier than expected. Her last letter expressed their delight. I think any change would cause my parents undue worry. I’ve had a lovely visit, and if I never return, I’ll have the memories to sustain me.” I grasped her hand. “And you must promise you’ll return to Amana.”

Her smile was as bright as the summer day. “If not before, I promise to be there when you marry Carl. By that time I hope your mother will be happier to see me.” Her smile faded a bit. “I do hope she’ll come to believe that it was Wilhelm’s choice to remain in Chicago long before he ever met me. Even though he explained, I believe she still holds me accountable.”

“She never completely accepted his decision to live elsewhere. After he left, she continued to hope and pray for his return. Once he married she knew that wouldn’t happen. She doesn’t dislike you, Larissa. She’s simply sad she’s lost both her sons.”

Larissa stared out the carriage window while I retreated into my own thoughts. We’d posted the letter and were on our way to the park when Larissa remembered her parasol. “I left it in the foyer, and I can’t possibly go out in this sun without protection. Do you mind overmuch if we return home first?”

“Of course not. We have the remainder of the afternoon.”

She assured me we’d be on our way to the park in no time. I truly hadn’t cared—she was the one who wanted to visit the gardens. During the carriage ride, we chatted about Carl.

“I’m eager to visit with him the next time I’m in Amana,” she said as the driver brought the horses to a halt in front of the house and jumped down.

“Shall I go inside and fetch your parasol, Mrs. Ilg?” he asked.

“Yes, thank you. You’ll find it on the chair in the foyer.”

He walked to the house and up the front steps but soon returned at a hasty clip. I glanced out the window. “The driver doesn’t have your parasol, but it appears you have a guest.”

Larissa stretched forward and peeked out the window. “He’s directly in front of her. All I can see is the woman’s skirt.”

The driver stepped to the right, and that’s when I saw her. “Berta!” Her name exploded from my lips in a frantic whoosh. “What is she doing here?”

“I’m sure I don’t know, but I believe we’re going to find out. Would you prefer to stay here, or do you want to go to the park?”

“I don’t know which would be better. Let me speak with her and see what has happened.”

Arms flung wide, Berta lunged at me and nearly sent me toppling to the ground. “I’m so happy to see you, Johanna. I know I shouldn’t have simply appeared on your brother’s doorstep, but there was nothing else for me to do.”

She rattled off the list of offenses she had committed since she’d last written. My anger flared when I learned she’d been searching through my personal belongings, but I held my tongue. Tears threatened as she told me about Lydia. “Both the handyman and Lydia have suffered because I was determined to have fun rather than work. Sister Muhlbach immediately discharged him, and I don’t know if Lydia’s burns will heal without scars or her arm will properly mend. When Sister Muhlbach discovered what had happened, she banished me from the kitchen.” She bowed her head. “And here I am.”

“You should have gone to Lydia’s home to apologize and inquire about her condition, Berta.”

“I know, but I was afraid her parents would say horrid things.” She met my gaze. “They had every right to confront me, but I couldn’t make myself go. Over and over I’ve condemned myself for my ghastly conduct. I asked God to forgive me, but I couldn’t ask Lydia.” She wilted like a flower in need of water. “It’s better I’m gone from Amana. They are good people and don’t deserve the likes of me running amok and causing problems at every turn.”

I thought I’d heard the worst of it, but when she admitted she’d pilfered money from her father’s bureau drawer and used a portion of it to pay for her train ticket, I became more dismayed. Even worse, she’d convinced Rudolf to sneak into the barn and take her to the train station in Homestead during the night.

“I’m surprised the night watchman didn’t see the two of you.”

Berta shifted to her other foot. “Rudolf figured out that part. I asked God to protect him. If I could have figured out any other plan, I wouldn’t have involved Rudolf—or God.” She sent a beseeching look in Larissa’s direction. “I hoped you would consider helping me.”

Larissa had remained at a distance. I wasn’t certain how much she’d heard, but I waved her forward and stifled a smile when Berta made a tiny curtsy. “It’s good to see you again, Mrs. Ilg.”

“It’s good to see you, as well, Berta. I wish it were under other circumstances, as it’s quite clear you’re distraught. Tell me how I can assist you.”

Berta dug in her reticule and withdrew a piece of paper. “Can you help me locate this address?” She thrust the paper toward Larissa.

Stretching forward, I peered at the address and wheeled around. “I thought you wanted to locate your father. Isn’t that Caroline’s address?”

“You’re right!” Larissa said. “I was certain I knew who lived at that address, but until you said Caroline, I couldn’t recall. Yes, that’s the address of Caroline Rohrer’s home. A lovely place—and a beautiful widow.”

“Widow? You’re acquainted with her?” Berta asked.

“Not well. Caroline’s father was somewhat older than my own father, but they formed a business relationship years ago. My father owes some of his success to Mr. Rohrer. Both of Caroline’s parents are deceased. At her mother’s death, she became very wealthy in her own right.”

“Would you be willing to take me there?” Berta was already inching toward the carriage.

“I would, but the house is closed for the summer. Caroline sailed for Europe and won’t return to Chicago until September. I understand she made a last-minute decision to sail to Europe before returning to the family’s summer home at the shore.”

Berta leaned against me, and I thought she might faint. “Why don’t we go inside to finish this conversation.”

“But I must find my father. I was certain he would be with Caroline.” Fear shone in her eyes as sudden realization hit. “Do you think he sailed to Europe with her? Or maybe he’s gone to meet her at the shore?” Berta blurted the questions as though she expected us to know.

Larissa grasped Berta’s sleeve and nodded toward the porch. “Come along. You need to sit down. And let’s don’t assume the worst.”

I nodded in agreement. “I’m sure we can find your father. He said he would be attending medical training here in Chicago. It shouldn’t be difficult to locate him.”

While leading Berta to a chair in the parlor, Larissa assented. “Yes, we’ll find your father. Wilhelm will know what to do.”

My final days in Chicago weren’t at all what I’d expected. Instead of another visit to the museum or library, instead of enjoying a concert or play, instead of attending a tea or party, my time was consumed with Berta and Dr. Schumacher. Wilhelm had been more than willing to lend his assistance in locating the doctor but thought it best if I accompany him rather than Berta. “It’s better you explain her circumstances so that Dr. Schumacher has time to consider how he should handle his daughter.” His idea was well founded, and I didn’t argue. Berta, however, hadn’t agreed.

But she’d been forced to acquiesce when Wilhelm announced the matter would be handled his way or not at all. The afternoon after Berta had arrived, our carriage driver delivered us to an address some distance away. A sign on the porch rail proclaimed the place was a boardinghouse serving fine food. “I’m surprised Dr. Schu-macher is staying here. I thought he’d stay at a hotel. Or maybe with a doctor he’d known when he lived here.”

“It’s close to the medical school. And I’d guess Dr. Schumacher’s old acquaintances aren’t as interested in his friendship now that he’s living in Amana. Folks don’t understand our ways, Johanna.”

“Our ways? Are they still your ways, Wilhelm?”

His shoulders sagged, and I detected the pain in his eyes. I hadn’t meant to hurt him.

“I still believe everything I was taught, but I can’t live in Amana.” He folded his hands together. “Living in such opulence may not confirm what I say, but Larissa is accustomed to luxury. I can’t deny her.” He glanced at the boardinghouse. “Shall we see if Dr. Schumacher is in?”

The boardinghouse keeper answered the door on Wilhelm’s first knock. Her hair was pulled into a tight bun at the back of her head, and she assessed us with pursed lips. “I’m full up, but I can give you the address of another boardinghouse.”

Wilhelm shook his head. “We’re not in need of a room. Is Dr.

Schumacher here at the present time?”

She waved us inside. “He returned from the school a short time ago and went up to his room to study his books until suppertime. I’ll fetch him.”

“She’s certainly a fount of information,” Wilhelm said with a grin.

From the startled look on Dr. Schumacher’s face when he first set eyes on me, I knew Wilhelm had made the proper decision. Seeing Berta would have likely sent him into a panic. “Johanna! I never imagined I’d see you here. Has something happened to my wife?” He hesitated a moment. “Or Berta?” The landlady stood behind him on the steps as he clutched the newel post and waited.

“They are both fine,” I assured him. “Is there someplace where we could speak privately?”

The boardinghouse keeper pushed her way around Dr. Schu-macher. “You can use the parlor. Feel free to close the doors. I’ll see to my supper preparations.”

Though it hadn’t been my intent, I’d clearly offended the woman. Dr. Schumacher didn’t seem to notice, for he hurried us toward the room and immediately closed the doors. “Please, sit down.” He wheeled around and dropped into one of the overstuffed chairs, his brows furrowed. “Tell me what brings you here.”

“It’s Berta.”

He lurched forward at the mention of her name, and I waved him back.

“She is perfectly fine, but she’s here in Chicago.”

His jaw dropped, and he stared at me, then looked at Wilhelm, obviously wanting confirmation I hadn’t lost my mind.

“She arrived yesterday and wanted to come here with us.