Julian: A Dark Angel Series Companion Novella (Dark Angel #3) (11 page)

I turn to look at Adriana, attempting to keep a straight face. Fred and Jerry have tears of laughter running down their eyes, and the bus driver barely contains himself, making it hard to control the laughter bubbling up inside of me.

“A cock pecked your ass? Poor Penny Tration,” I tease.

Penny’s sobs become fits of laughter. “Yeah, okay, I should be used to it!”

We all fall into a fit of hysterics and Hazel, as usual, is beaming with pride.

Laughter is the best medicine, they say, and so are a tranny’s antics.

It has been a week since I left the shelter wishing to escape reality, yet reality has come and found me. It started on Tuesday. I was sitting at my desk in the office, the usual daily grind. It was ten a.m. when my boss called me to his office. He didn’t sound unusual on the phone so I thought nothing of it. That was until I walked into his office and saw Human Resources sitting in there.

Economic downturn, blah blah blah, and I was handed my final paycheck.

There was no point arguing it as I returned to my desk to pack up my things. In the corner of my eye I saw Nyree standing in the doorway. She told me that three of her friends in the office were also let go. She was quite upset, but being in my own hell, it was pointless consoling her.

“So, how long do I have to keep standing here flashing some leg before you ask me out to dinner?” she asked teasingly.

My face spread into a grin, and without looking into her eyes, I continued to pack. “I was too distracted by the bust to notice the leg.” I chuckled.

She threw a pen at me and burst into a fit of giggles.

“You look like you could use a home-cooked meal. How about my place next Friday night? I’m outta town this weekend.” An invitation to her place meant one thing: she needed a good fuck and right now. I may have been just the right person to give her what she needed.

Looking into her eyes, I saw the lust and pleasure rolled into one. “Shall I bring dessert?”

Her eyes traced my body and made their way down to my cock.

“That’ll be great. No one wants to
come
empty handed…”

The stir startled me; it had been a while, and boy did I need to get fucking laid.

Losing my regular job felt so insignificant. I sat on a park bench thinking about my next move. Remembering the days of Yale, there was so much drive in me, ambition and aspiration to be a journalist who not only reported on stories that needed to be told, but to change lives and make people see through my writing that we all needed to reach out and help one another. That we were not all born with silver spoons in our mouths, and how the smallest act of humanity made a difference.

Here in California, I reported stories about crime, celebrity fallouts and other meaningless topics. This wasn’t who I wanted to be, and this wasn’t satisfying my desire to be a better person.

As I walked back home, still no closer to what I wanted to do, I saw a sign on my door.

I had been evicted.

The notice said that all my belongings had been sent to a storage facility not too far from here. Just fucking great.

Officially, I was homeless.

…

When I follow the directions to Hazel’s home, I am surprised to find that her home is in fact that farm I had stumbled upon that day I was lost. The serenity and peaceful surroundings ease the mounting pressure I feel over losing my apartment. It is a breath of fresh air, and I look above towards the clouds, thanking whoever blessed me with this amazing woman, a friendship and support system I can’t live without.

Hazel is sitting on the porch as I drive up the dirt road. It is small and quaint, surrounded by roses and carnations. She stands up and greets me as I walk up the porch steps.

She calls my name and gently places her hands on my face. I feel her love, the motherly love that I desperately missed from my own mother. She takes me through her home; it’s warm and inviting, filled with memorabilia of Richard and George. As we make our way back to the porch, she asks me to sit at the small table where she has fresh lemonade and homemade blueberry muffins.
The view is amazing.

“I enjoy having company. Often when Miles is out of town I head out to meet some old acquaintances for bridge night.”

“Does Miles live here?” I am devouring these muffins and they are practically melting in my mouth.

“Oh no, dear. He has a home just round the corner. It’s such a beautiful home and his daughter and grandson live with him.”

“Is he out of town for work?”

“Mission work. Miles is a nurse. He volunteered down south when those awful tornadoes hit. He’ll be back next week and we’ll be taking a vacation to Netherlands,” she adds.

“Netherlands?”

“Yes. My sister lives there and I miss her dearly.” Hazel talks with peace. She’s content; how I yearn to be in her headspace right now.

“What do you do with the group when you’re away?”

“Fred understands and chooses the time to vacation himself. Jerry…well, he sometimes takes a step back. I’m glad you took me up on my offer.” She smiles.

“I feel weak asking for help.”

“My dear boy.” She places her hand on mine. “Asking for help is not a weakness, it’s a strength. I have your room all ready for you.” She smiles and I say no more.

Settling into Hazel’s was exactly the kind of therapy I needed. I didn’t allow her to spoil me, and often we sat together in the kitchen preparing dinner.

One night she asks me to prepare another place setting and before I know it, the doorbell rings.

The voice filters through the hall and my heart skips a beat.

Before I can fully register what is happening, Adriana pokes her head into the kitchen and greets me with a warm smile.

The tension that has built up releases when I see her. It was stupid for me to jump to conclusions, assuming she would hate me for my sordid past. Her face looks different, a slight glow perhaps, a redness to her prominent cheeks. Although the dark circles still surround her eyes, there is a warm shade of brown illuminating her face. Wearing only a T-shirt which says ‘In training for the zombie apocalypse’, her arms are no longer covered in raw cuts. Unfortunately, the scars still remain.

Penny’s high-pitched holler enters the kitchen. She leans over and kisses Adriana on both cheeks and comes to my side, reaching out her hand, followed by a manly, “
How’s it going, pal?”

We burst out laughing at her feeble attempt to portray a man. Penny is all woman, despite the giant pecker sitting between her thighs.

The night is spent eating the meal we prepared (which if I say so myself, turned out fantastic) and playing charades. It is one fail after another as Adriana and Penny team up against Hazel and I. Penny was the one who brought the game tonight, and after a few turns, we discover that it is adult charades. Surprisingly, Hazel isn’t offended and enjoys the crude humor.

“Cat?! Uh…butt? Oh my god, Penny, what the hell are you doing?!” Adriana asks in frustration.

Penny is bending over doing something ridiculous; not even I could figure it out.

“Um, kangaroo? I don’t know!” Adriana bellows.

The buzzer goes off.

“Doggy style!” Penny blurts out in annoyance.

“What? Really? Why the hell were you jumping like a kangaroo then?”

“That wasn’t jumping! That was getting done from behind!” Penny shouts.

Hazel and I are in stitches. Penny clearly sucks at this game.

It goes on for a few more rounds before Hazel calls it a night. Penny gets a call from one of her friends, who she admits is a friend with benefits, and goes on to clarify that when she says benefits, she means he gives great head.

It is way too much information for me without any alcohol in my system.

Alone with Adriana, we sit quietly packing up the game. The seconds that pass feel like hours, until we both try to break the silence at the same time.

“You first.” I chuckle.

“I was going to ask how your week was, but I realized it probably sucked, you know, cause you’re staying with Hazel,” she murmurs.

“You know what? I’m really enjoying it here. It’s giving me time to think about my next step,” I respond at ease. The game is packed away, and we continue to sit on the floor, pecking at the leftover dessert. “How was your week?” I ask.

She lets out a sigh, followed by a hiccup. “I’m sorry. For some reason ice cream does this to me.”

“I think it’s cute,” I reassure her.

“Cute is bunnies and fluffy kittens. This is embarrassing.” She hiccups again, and her face turns bright red.

We change the subject, moving our conversation onto Penny and how much she has in common with Eric.

“Just because they’re both gay, we probably shouldn’t assume they are a perfect match,” I point out.

Eric’s taken anyway,” she says.

Oh, I didn’t realize he was seeing someone. Good for him.”

She turns to look at me with a grin. “Uh really? Considering he is your nephew I would have thought you knew all the dirty secrets.”

What?

“Excuse me? What does Tristan have to do with this?”

This time she places her hand on my arm. “Oh, Julian. You can’t be that blind?”

“Maybe I am. Or maybe I’ve been too absorbed in my own problems to see what was happening. I mean, I had an inkling at one point but I thought the idea was ridiculous.”

“Who would have thought, right? And look at how they came together, because of you. It could be wedding bells before you know it.”

Josie will fucking kill me,
I think. Surely she would know her son was gay?

“Does it bother you?” she probes.

“No, not if it makes him happy. I miss him. Well, I miss hanging out with him. Sometimes it gets real lonely.”

She nods, then withdraws. “The loneliness is palpable. Try being with couples all the time. It’s like a hand constantly slapping you in the face. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them, it just reminds me of what I don’t have.”

“So I guess you’re referring to Charlie and Lex.” I glance aside; why did I bring this up?

“Yeah…sorry. I can see it in your face. It hurts you to talk about them.”

“No, Adriana. I just don’t want to think about them anymore. Besides, one day you’ll be in that place again. Look at Hazel.”

Her eyes dart around the room, then focus on mine. “I don’t want to. I want to remember him for the rest of my life. I’m scared someone else will erase my memories.”

With a gentle smile, I wait for her full attention. “Adriana, impossible. No one can replace him or the memories.”

Quick to change the subject, her face lights up and she swiftly jumps to her feet. “I’ve got an idea. It’s crazy and spontaneous but it’s just what we both need right now,” she says excitedly.

It couldn’t be sex.
Really, Julian?
Why the fuck would you think that about her? Don’t be a shallow asshole.

I grin and say, “I’m all ears.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“One hundred percent,” I answer confidently. “Are you sure
you
want to do this?”

“One hundred and one percent.” She smiles back.

Amy walks over and hands us paperwork that we both sign.

I bend down to pat Blaze; she has a flicker of excitement in her eyes. Adriana holds onto Ash.

“Are you sure it won’t traumatize them to be separated?” Adriana asks again.

“As long as they get enough attention and love, no,” Amy reassures us.

It is exactly what we both need, and Hazel was beyond happy to have Blaze come live with us. I reassured her I was looking for a place, but like always, she would tell me to hush.

The ride back home is quiet as Blaze and Ash both rest their heads on Adriana’s lap. It’s not only the dogs that have a glimmer of hope in their eyes, but Adriana as well.

She is grinning from ear to ear, and undeniably, she is
beautiful.

“Andy is going to fall in love with Ash. I doubt very much I will get him to bed at a reasonable hour tonight.”

“He sounds like a typical kid.”

“Yeah, he’s a good kid. Just hyper, exactly opposite to his dad.” She sighs, glancing out the window.

We drive straight to the meeting, and as predicted, the group spends the hour playing with the dogs. Towards the end, Hazel politely asks us for our attention.

“Your weekly task,” she announces. Jerry lets out a huge groan. “I want you to visit your happy place.”

Penny is first to open her mouth. “Does Betty’s Back Door Brothel count?”

“God, Penny, you’re such a—” Jerry starts.

“Yada yada yada…talk to the hand ‘cause the face ain’t listening,” Penny bites back.

…

I lay on my side as I stroke Blaze’s fur. She closes her eyes, calm and appreciative of my gesture. In the quiet time I hear the sound of an engine. Blaze can sense the presence as well, but her hearing is poor. There is a tap on the screen door and I stand up to see who is there. I feel her before I see her, and she is smiling back at me.

"Hey."

"Hey," she greets. "I've made some homemade treats for Blaze."

I open the door and let her in; she brushes past me and this strange feeling hits me. I don’t know what it is but I know it’s best to ignore it.

Adriana kneels down to Blaze’s level and strokes her belly.

"What, so no homemade snacks for me?" I tease.

"Here's the thing, I'm a terrible cook. I mean, I try to cook. It's okay, but it's not my forte."

"I don't believe you, Adriana. You say that about everything and I can't point out one thing you do wrong."

"You're not looking hard enough," she says, and there it is, that self-doubt.

"I'm not looking for it."

Her pats slow down and I see her body language change. "Elijah once said that he didn't care if I couldn't cook, as long as I knew how to cook pot roast, that's all that mattered. He and my brother are pot roast freaks and I blame my mom, who makes the meanest pot roast."

"Your mom sounds like a very nice woman.”

"The greatest. I would love for you to meet..." She stops mid-sentence

I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. "I would be honored to meet her, as your friend." I place my hand on hers to reassure her, and she looks up at me with her wide brown eyes. Today they reflect back, and I see hope, I see a woman trying her best to fight the odds of life.

"So, this happy place we are supposed to go to...how about I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?" I offer.

She lets out a laugh. "Deal, you first…"

"You got a few hours?"

"I have two hours before I have to pick up Andy."

I stand up and reach out for her hand to pull her up. She follows me out the back door until we are standing on the porch.

"We're here."

"Uh...I don't get it?" she says, confused.

"When I first came to LA, I stumbled on this place when I was lost one day. I can’t explain it, there’s something that draws me in. The horses, the greenery. It’s so serene.” I take a moment to appreciate the view. “I had no idea it belonged to Hazel, none whatsoever.”

"Lost on the way to—"

I interrupt her with a slight annoyance. "No, if that's what you're asking."

"I...I wasn't really...I mean, I wasn't saying it was wrong, just asking if that's—"

"Adriana. I said I wasn't."

She places her hand on my forearm and I feel myself ease. "I'm sorry, Julian, diarrhea mouth syndrome. I trust you are telling the truth."

"Does it bother you? Let's face it, we haven't talked too much more about it and it is the giant elephant in the room.”

"I know you loved Charlie. It's impossible not to. But I love my brother and they are soul mates. Always were and will be. Redemption, Julian. You saved her."

"I did love her, Adriana, but she was a Band-Aid. And being in Hazel’s group is teaching me that."

"Just like anyone who comes into my life will be a Band-Aid for Elijah," she mumbles.

I place my arm around her. "He was your husband, Andy’s father. No one could replace him. All one can do is love you and Andy the way you deserve to be loved. In time, just don’t push it away when you feel it.”

"And what about you? Don't you think you deserve happiness?”

"Honestly? No. What am I, Adriana? I can't love without hurting who I love."

"You didn't hurt Chelsea."

"But if I had put my foot down she'd still be here."

"Yeah, and if I wasn't too caught up in my pregnancy maybe I would have noticed Elijah was sick and could have helped him," she answers back.

We both stay silent. There is a gentle breeze that engulfs us; the smell of lavender fills the air.

"I'm scared of being alone, not now, but forever," I admit.

"You've got Blaze...and me. As long as we're friends, you're not alone," she says with ease.

"Does that mean you'll cook me pot roast when I'm suffering from male PMS?" I joke.

"Yeah, but I draw the line at picking up a pack of tampons for you."

"Great. Nice visual," I mock.

"Hey, you said it...man rags!"

“Too much. Eric...he is like the gay plague."

"Oh my, I’ll tell him you said that!"

"Don't you dare," I warn her.

She laughs and looks over the farm. "This place is so tranquil. The kind of place you could see yourself growing old in, don't you think?"

"Yes...” I smile hopelessly at her. “Exactly the place I see myself growing old in."