Authors: Bonnie S. Mata
Hours passed, and she
woke up later to find out that it was now four-thirty in the afternoon.
“Oh my God!” She got up and jumped in the shower, taking a long, hot one, and then applied some pomegranate lotion over her entire body. She slipped her lavender robe on and went downstairs, headed to Valeria’s condo.
“Valeria… girl, where are you?” she yelled, from the bottom of the stairs. “I see you got the Chinese food. I’m going to make myself a plate.”
She peeked inside each little white box.
Mmm
, my favorite
,
beef and broccoli. Oh, and let's not forget the fried rice
. Oh and I’m opening up a fortune cookie.
Valeria walked in seconds later, “I knew you’d be eating the fortune cookies. That’s why I raced down here.” She then yanked the other cookie out of her hand. “You’re supposed to eat the fortune cookie after you eat the food, not before,
and
you can only have one.”
“What a bitch!” said Celina, grabbing a plate.
“Who are you calling a bitch? Whore!” She pushed her with her shoulder, standing next to her, trying to serve herself some food.
“What? Yeah right, you’re just jealous ‘
cuz
I got some,” Celina said, waving her hand in front of Valeria’s face. “And it was
sooo
good,
AND
I want some more!
Ooo
, I wish I had some now.”
“
Whatever,
”
Valeria said, serving herself a plate, trying hard to ignore her. “Hey, you got cokes over at your place?”
“I think so,” she said, getting ready to take a bite of her food.
“Well, go get some. Shit, I can’t do everything around here.” Valeria walked over to a small table.
“What the hell are you talking about? I do this shit
all
the time and this time because I slept in late, you’re taking all the glory that you do this all the time. Go to hell Valeria,” she said, storming out.
Valeria busted up laughing hard, and then said, “Celina, you know I was only kidding. Get your ass back over here… but don’t forget the cokes.”
Minutes later, Celina walked in with a box of cokes, “So, what is it we’re doing today?”
“I’m still working on it. Did you just wake up?” she licked her finger.
“Yes, I did. Big deal and
so
what,” she said, and continued to eat her food. “I’m going to do some laundry and watch some TV. I was just asking, so I’d know what to wear,” she stood up, and lifted her robe, mooning her, since she was still nude.
“Alright, I don’t need to see your ass again. I saw that big trunk this morning.”
“Beep, beep,” she mooned her again. “So, what do I wear? Where are we going?”
“I told you that we were staying here. So wear something comfortable.”
“Is anyone else coming?” she held the fork in her hand.
“Hell, no,” she then took a big bite of her eggroll.
Celina made a frown, “Okay, I guess I’ll see you later.” She served herself some more Chinese food and left.
Up in smoke
Hours later, Valeria called Celina
's
cell
phone and told her she could come over.
When Celina walked in, she was showing off her fitted lace halter baby doll lingerie and feathery black heeled slippers.
“Okay, Miss Hot Pink, just what do you think you’re wearing?” she said, looking at her from top to bottom. “I didn’t say we were going to
Xoticas
to go dance and swing from the poles for dollars.” She pointed a finger up and down at her and continued, “And I know for sure that this is not the Playboy mansion.”
“Ha-ha,” she teased back. “I bought this last week at Victoria's Secret. You did say, we were going nowhere, and that no one was coming,” she said, spinning around like a ballerina. “So I thought I'd wear something comfortable.”
“Did you buy that, when you went to buy the gift certificates for the monthly raffle for the girls at the salon?” she asked, with her hand on her hip.
Celina's smile said it all.
“What the hell did my brother pump into you?” she shook her head back and forth.
“Girl, he more liked flipped my uterus, and stimulated my sexual part of my brain that had been asleep for a
long
time,” she batted her eyes with a huge smile. “It was awesome, Val.”
“Shut the hell up. That's gross, and I don't want to hear about it anymore. I’m going to call him, to make sure he doesn’t come over,” she walked to get her cell phone, and then turned back around and continued, “because girl… you are out of control. You’re like a bitch in heat.”
“Yes, I think I really am!” Celina started to laugh but then quieted down when the doorbell rang. “Who’s that? I thought you said nobody was coming over.” Shyness overcame her.
“That should be the pizza boy.” She grabbed some money that was on the kitchen counter. “Do you want to answer it, Miss Hot Pink? Or should I?” she asked, holding the money.
“Sure, I’ll open the door. Give me the money,” she said, twirling a long lock of her hair.
“Get the hell out of my way and hide behind the door to the hallway. You know these are just little kids from high school. They’re going to charge us with molestation.”
Celina couldn’t stop laughing from the hallway where she was hiding.
Valeria walked back to the kitchen with the pizza box, with Celina right behind her. Celina opened the box to pull a slice, when Valeria slapped her hand and shut the box, “You need to wait.”
“Ouch. Wait for what?” she asked, with a frown, rubbing her hand.
“Help me and take that box up, while I get some napkins.”
“Where are we going?”
“To eat out on the balcony.” She opened a kitchen cabinet.
Celina mumbled, “I don't know what all the mystery is about.” She walked upstairs and opened the door, stepping out on to the balcony to find it all lit up. “Where did you get all of
these lava lamps?” She walked around the small patio deck looking at the different colored blobs of wax rising and falling inside the glass vessels.
Valeria was right behind Celina. “You like them?” She had a big smile on her face. “I thought they were so cool,” she said, stepping outside with two glasses and some napkins.
“Okay, I’m tired of waiting, tell me now before I leave and take the pizza box with me,” she said, holding the box close to her as if it was a hostage.
“Okay, but sit down first,” she said, waiting for Celina to take a seat.
Celina sat across from her, still holding the pizza box.
“Ready?” she asked, holding a fancy black jewelry box. Celina had given it to her as a birthday gift many years ago.
Celina nodded and rolled her eyes. “Hurry up! You yourself have been acting rather strange too.” She released a deep breath.
Valeria open the box and pulled out a small baggie, “Look!” she exclaimed, with a big smile.
Celina moved forward to see the small bag that Valeria had placed on the coffee table. “Holy shit, Val, is this what I’m thinking?” her eyes popped open.
“Yeah, it sure is.” She rubbed her hands together with the urge to scream in excitement.
“Girl, did you buy it or did someone get it for you? Man, you can get into some serious trouble with your brother, or he can get into some trouble himself,” she said, opening the bag to smell it. “Whew, damn, girl, this shit smells nasty.” She cocked her head back.
“I had Luis buy it for me. It’s supposed to be the best marijuana along the border. This one is
Sinsemilla
,
you know--it has no seeds in it.” She took the baggie from Celina's hand. “They say when the seeds burn, they tend to pop. So you don’t want that shit popping in your face, especially if it's your first time like us.”
“You mean
our
Luis, from the salon!” exclaimed Celina, with her hand on her chest.
Valeria nodded her head and pulled out some
Zig
Zag
papers. “Look! These come in different flavors. I bought the regular
Zig
Zag
paper, a cherry flavor, an apple, and a peach one.” E
nthusiasm
was in her voice, as she laid the different papers out on the coffee table.
“Are you serious, that we are going to smoke this shit out here? They say this stuff smells strong when it burns.” Celina brought her chair closer to the coffee table, looking with great interest at the illegal pot they were about to smoke.
“I know. I’ve heard that too, that’s why we are out here, so my condo doesn’t smell bad.” She looked right at her.
“
Oh
. So you’re worried about your condo.
Shit girl
, have you thought about the neighbors?” She got up from the chair,
tapping her fluffy black slipper, with frown lines deepening in her face.
“What neighbors? I don’t have any. I live on the corner.”
“And what about my neighbors to the left of me… The
Cartwrights
, he’s like a retired school principal. You know they’re going to smell it. And you know that he
will
call the cops. Then what, Miss Thing?”
Valeria started to laugh, “Girl, I got that shit covered. He left for Las Vegas yesterday. And Olivia, next to the
Cartwrights
, you know she works nights at the hospital, so we got the place to ourselves. Who’s going to report what, girlfriend?” She then slapped her hands together and began to rub them. “So, are you ready?” She looked up directly at her.
Celina sat down quickly, “Shit, Valeria, why did you let me get all upset. And how did you know about everyone?” She slouched in the patio chair.
Valeria started to laugh, “Girl, right before I left yesterday for my parent’s party, I saw him with all of his suitcases, and I asked him where he was going. And I told him good luck!” She threw her hands up like
The
Supremes
.
“Okay, so how are we supposed to do this?” Celina looked around at the papers and at the marijuana, full of curiosity.
“Well, I have no problem rolling it. It’s just smoking it. Luis said that you inhale and hold it for as long as you can in your lungs. And look, I got us some cute roach clips so we don’t burn our fingers.” She set down one with peacock feathers and another one made of hand-carved bone of a skull, with a metal bead on top of the skull, and another below it.
“I can’t believe you did all of this, girl. Okay, I want to try an apple paper. But first I need a drink to help me calm down; this is just too intense.” She made herself a tequila shot.
The girls got to rolling different-flavored paper joints and quickly got to experimenting, smoking the smelly weed. They listened to loud music, chilling out and eating pizza.
An hour later, with the effects of the pot and tequila shots, the girls were laughing and talking loudly. Celina then stood up and started to sing along with the music to
Lynyrd
Skynyrd’s
,
“
Free Bird
.
”
”
Valeria sang along to the parts that she knew and took pictures of Celina singing, and recorded a little of her performance.
After Celina stopped pretending to fly like a bird she took a big sip of her drink and looked around. “Hey, what are you going to do with all of these lava lamps when we’re all done?” She laughed.
“I don’t know. I was thinking of returning them, since I just needed them for today.” Her eyes were looking back at Celina, with a carefree look.
“What, the hell, Val? You can’t buy something, use it, and then just return it.” Celina was buzzing.
“Why not? Lots of people do it
everyday
. I even bought them cash and told them to ring them up separately.” Valeria spoke slowly, drawling out the words while sitting deep in her chair.
“What the hell did you do that for?” asked Celina, taking another hit from her joint.
“Well, I thought I’d have the girls from the salon do me the favor of returning them, you know what I mean, one by one…” she motioned with her hand, and her eyes in a daze, then whispered, “so they wouldn’t get suspicious.”
“Well, don’t look at me. I
ain't
returning a thing for you. Oh, no way, José. I can’t believe you’re pulling a Margarita on me.”
Valeria let her smoke out, began to cough and asked, “What Margarita?”
“One of my customers, that’s her name. Did you know that bitch buys clothes, wears it… you know, hiding the tag, and then returns it?”
“No way… that’s gross. What size is she, and where does she shop, so I never go there.”
“Exactly! That's what I’m talking about. See, how do you like it?” she waved her hand, clearing the smoke away from her face.