Authors: Cathy Kelly
‘I know,’ Rose said. ‘I know. I just have to decide what to do. I’ve made such a mess of things, haven’t I? Hurting you and not dealing with the problems in my marriage.’
‘Nonsense,’ said Holly, feeling guilty for having said the wrong thing. ‘I’m the one with the disastrous love life,’ she added.
‘You never tell me about your boyfriends,’ Rose said quietly.
‘There’s never been much to tell,’ Holly joked. ‘When I fell in love with Richie Murdoch, I started a long line of hopeless romances.’
‘You never told me what went wrong with Richie, either.’
Holly winced. ‘I wanted you to guess, to be honest. He dumped me and I didn’t want anyone to know.’
‘I knew what he’d done all right, the little pig, but I got the impression you didn’t want sympathy from me. Your father told me that you’d talked to him about Richie. I felt like a terrible mother at that point, because it was clear that you preferred to talk to your father about having your heart broken. Stella and Tara both told me their problems and you didn’t.’
‘Oh, Mum,’ Holly said sadly. ‘I never knew. I thought you didn’t have a clue about Richie.’
Rose shrugged gracefully. ‘Your father and I did talk, you know,’ she said. ‘You confided more in him than in me.’
‘I met Richie at the ruby wedding party,’ Holly said, suddenly grinning.
‘Sorry about that,’ Rose interrupted. ‘His mother begged, she had nobody else to drive her and I meant to warn you that he was coming…’
‘It was OK, really,’ Holly said. ‘He was flirting like mad with me but I was very cool and collected. He even wanted my phone number.’
‘I hope you didn’t give it to him.’ Rose was enraged at the cheek of him.
‘I implied that I didn’t believe in revisiting old ground,’ Holly said proudly.
‘What about new ground?’ asked her mother shyly.
Holly waved at the waitress to ask for a coffee and then began the story of Tom.
‘I’m over him,’ she said at the end. ‘It seemed a bit stupid to long for a man who was engaged to someone else.’
‘He cheated on her with you?’ said Rose dubiously.
Holly shook her head. ‘Nothing so scandalous, I’m afraid. Ours was the most innocent relationship in the history of Windmill Terrace. The two little old ladies in the basement probably have wilder sex lives than I do. We talked, and laughed, and…’ Holly closed her eyes and remembered all the things they’d done. Saying it out loud, her relationship
with Tom sounded as thrilling as a one-person party, but it
had
been thrilling. Her entire being had come alive when she was with him. How did you put that into words? ‘I could talk to him. I’ve never been much good at talking to men. Kenny doesn’t count, but you know what I mean. Tom was my friend. Perhaps that was the problem.’ Holly looked exasperated with herself. ‘The first man I can talk to and I think it’s the passion of the century.’
‘He liked you too, though?’
Holly nodded. ‘I suppose I was waiting for him to make the first move and he didn’t, and then his girlfriend came on the scene. Tara says forget him.’ She looked to her mother to see if Rose agreed with this piece of advice.
‘Tara’s Tara, and you’re you, Holly. Is he worth fighting for?’
‘There’s no point any more,’ Holly explained. ‘He’s engaged, Caroline has the wedding of the century planned, probably complete with the London Philharmonic playing something to symbolise her true love for Tom as she walks up the aisle in a wedding gown trimmed with a thousand rosebuds, with a dove in her hand.’
‘That sounds a bit over the top,’ said Rose, who was as romantic as the next person.
‘Yeah, Caroline believes in romance with a big W. Womance.’
Rose screwed up her nose fastidiously. ‘She sounds awful. You should save him from her.’
‘That was Kenny’s plan. He dragged in three beautiful male models to flirt with Caroline and let her see that the world was her oyster, and why tie herself down with marriage just yet.’ Holly smiled. ‘Kenny should never have got satellite television. He’s been watching too many romantic comedies where that type of thing happens with great regularity.’
‘Like where the Julia Roberts character gets Rupert Everett to pretend to be her boyfriend and it makes her ex jealous?’
‘I
love
that film,’ sighed Holly. ‘Funnily enough, she
doesn’t get the man at the end, either! But, she doesn’t mind; she’s happy without him. If only real life was as simple as it is in films.’
‘It could be,’ said her mother. ‘You should tell Tom how you feel.’
Holly shook her head. ‘Tom’s the past. It’s over. That’s why I walked out of his engagement party. What was the point of driving myself insane by trying to remain friends with him? I don’t want to be friends with him. I’m crazy about him. Was crazy about him,’ she amended. ‘I needed a clean break. You can’t just be friends if you really fancy someone.’
‘When Harry Met Sally!’ smiled her mother.
‘Exactly. So Tom is in the past and I have a good future ahead of me.’ Holly spoke firmly. ‘Secondly, I’m going for the job in the international fashion department. Gabriella’s leaving and I know I can do it. I’m not afraid of it any more.’
‘I’m so proud of you,’ said Rose, her voice quivering with emotion.
Holly’s smile was sweet as she leaned across the empty plates and stroked her mother’s hand. ‘I know,’ she said.
‘Oh Mummy, it was great and Daddy came too but he said he was scared! I wasn’t.’ Amelia was gleeful at the notion that she hadn’t minded the scary bit of the Snow White train journey in Euro Disney, but her father had.
Stella smiled at the phone, happy that Amelia was enjoying her holiday but miserable because she’d have loved to have been the one taking darling Amelia to Disney. Well, her and Nick. They’d talked about it often enough but now, it was hardly an option. So when Glenn had suggested that he take their daughter to the theme park as part of his two-week holiday with her in June, Stella hadn’t felt able to disagree. It was important that Glenn had a good relationship with Amelia and Stella now knew enough about fractured families to know that she didn’t want to use Amelia in some sort of divorced parents’ power struggle. Time spent with Glenn was for Amelia’s good and Stella had told Glenn that it was vital he kept in touch with Amelia more regularly.
‘She needs to grow up knowing you’re a part of her life, and that she’s a part of yours,’ Stella had said.
‘Yeah, I worry that she’ll forget about me,’ Glenn said. ‘I try to keep in touch but you know what I’m like. I’ve never been good at birthdays and stuff.’
‘I know,’ Stella replied crisply. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t let you forget in future. This is for Amelia.’
‘Bye, Mummy, miss you,’ said Amelia, sounding plaintive for the first time in her excited monologue about Disney.
‘I miss you too, darling, but you’ll be home soon and
you’ve got lots of exciting things to do,’ Stella said cheerily, not wanting to upset Amelia by letting her know just how much she missed her.
‘ ‘kay,’ said Amelia. ‘Bye.’
Stella hung up and went back into the kitchen where she was making cheese on toast for her dinner. With Amelia gone, and Nick more or less out of her life, Stella didn’t feel like bothering with proper food.
It had been a week since the big row with Nick; a week in which they hadn’t seen each other. For the first few days, Stella had steeled herself not to phone him. He could make the first move, she decided. Then, he’d phoned her on Friday morning to tell her that his mother was in hospital and that he was driving to visit her.
‘She was in bed with flu and she fell trying to get up. She’s broken her hip and she’s very distressed,’ he said. He sounded weary and miserable. ‘She’s always had a weak chest and my worry is that she’ll get pneumonia, and she won’t be strong enough to fight it. I’m sorry,’ he said again. ‘It’s been a nightmare week. Jenna’s in trouble in school again and that’s not all. She and Wendy are at war; Jenna’s being very rude to her mother. I’ve tried talking to her but she keeps saying “What do you care?” I can’t get through to her and Wendy goes mad and says I’m not trying to sort it out. You can’t imagine how awful it is.’
Stella thought she could picture the scene pretty well. A distraught Nick trying to keep the peace but somehow failing everyone: failing Jenna by not being her live-at-home dad any more and failing Wendy by not performing her undoable task. And it was undoable. Nick couldn’t sort out Jenna’s relationship with her mother. That was between Wendy and Jenna. No matter what the fallout from the divorce, Wendy shouldn’t blame every difficulty on Nick. She’d destroy his relationship with Jenna if she did.
Even though she’d sworn to herself she wouldn’t say too much about the Jenna/Wendy relationship, Stella had to say something.
‘Nick, don’t let Wendy manipulate you into a situation where the only times you talk to Jenna, it’s to harangue her.’
‘I don’t harangue her,’ protested Nick.
‘That was the wrong word,’ Stella said. ‘But you end up talking firmly to Jenna every time you see her. I know,’ she added, hearing Nick about to interrupt, ‘she’s been behaving badly at school and being awful to Wendy but they’re two separate issues. You can’t control Jenna to the extent that you tell her how to deal with her relationship with her mother. She’s growing up, she’s testing her boundaries.’ Stella grinned to herself. Now she was standing up for Jenna’s rights in all of this, instead of giving out about her.
There was silence on the other end of the phone. ‘You’re right, Stella. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with the fall-out of all of this. I’m sorry about everything,’ he added. ‘I should have phoned you to tell you that, but I didn’t. This morning, I decided that this had gone on long enough and I was going to drop round this evening and try to sort things out but now…’
‘It’s all right,’ Stella interrupted. ‘We can talk when you get back.’
She wasn’t sure where that talk would get them, but what the hell. They’d talk.
He rang again on Sunday night, his voice hoarse with tiredness.
‘She’s turned a corner, the doctors think. In fact, she’s just given out to me for looking as if I hadn’t brushed my hair this morning, which is a sign that she’s on the mend.’
‘That’s wonderful,’ said Stella. She’d really liked Nick’s feisty mother and had hated to think of that bright spark quenched with a painful, frightening illness.
‘All going well, I’ll be back in Dublin on Tuesday.’ He paused. ‘Could I take you out to dinner?’
Stella thought about it. If she and Nick were to solve their differences, they needed to have a frank discussion. Doing this in a crowded restaurant would probably be a mistake. ‘I’ll cook you dinner here,’ she said.
For the first time in a week, Stella woke on Monday morning feeling happier. She was looking forward to seeing Nick in spite of everything. She was in work early and flew through her morning’s appointments.
‘How are things?’ asked Vicki tentatively just before lunch.
Stella shrugged. ‘OK.’
‘Good,’ remarked Vicki. ‘Are you in the mood for a girlie gossipy lunch?’
The previous week, Stella had worked at her desk during lunch, feeling too heartbroken to put on a convivial act. Today, lunch sounded great.
‘I’d love lunch,’ Stella said. ‘But what about Craig?’
These days, Craig often joined their lunches. He and Vicki were getting increasingly serious about each other and Stella loved teasing Vicki about wedding bells.
‘Craig knows his place,’ said Vicki primly. ‘In bed, behind the hoover, in the kitchen,’ she recited. ‘Never at girlie lunches.’
‘So, tell all,’ commanded Vicki when they were sitting at a cosy table in a jammed restaurant across the street, having ordered enough food for a regiment. Stella, who hadn’t been hungry for a week, was suddenly ravenous.
‘He’s coming over for dinner tomorrow night and we’re going to talk. About everything.’
‘Be honest, tell him how you feel,’ advised Vicki. ‘And if he doesn’t understand how much he upset you, dump him.’ Vicki was very fond of Nick but she was fiercely protective of her friend. If Nick hurt Stella again, he’d have Vicki to contend with.
‘If I phone you at midnight tomorrow, sobbing my heart out, will you come round and rescue me?’ asked Stella.
‘Promise.’
When Stella got back to her office, there was a message on her direct line voicemail.
‘Hello, this is Mrs Winston, vice principal of The Harmon School. I’m trying to contact Mr Nick Cavaletto about his daughter, Jenna, and his office gave us this number. If you
could help, Ms Miller, I’d be grateful.’ She left a phone number, which Stella rapidly scribbled down before dialling.
‘Hello, Mrs Winston, this is Stella Miller, I’m, er…a friend of Nick’s.’ She could hardly say she was anything else, could she? ‘He’s out of Dublin right now on family business, can I help? Is there a problem with Jenna?’
‘Yes, and I’m afraid I can’t reach Mrs Cavaletto either.’
‘I can try to reach Nick on his mobile and tell him to ring you,’ suggested Stella. Whatever the problem with Jenna was, she wasn’t getting involved.
‘I have tried his mobile but it’s off,’ pointed out Mrs Winston.
‘Right,’ said Stella. He wouldn’t be able to keep the phone switched on in the hospital ward. ‘I know where he is; it’s just a matter of getting a message to him. I’ll do my best.’
‘Thank you. That would be a great help.’
‘Jenna’s not ill is she?’ Stella asked, just to be sure that there wasn’t anything seriously wrong.
Mrs Winston’s snort of disapproval was quite audible.
‘She’s not ill; she’s been suspended and we need somebody to take her home.’
It took a few minutes to track Nick down in the hospital and he sounded nervous when he heard Stella’s voice. ‘What’s wrong, Stella?’ he asked.
She explained briefly.
‘Shit. That’s all we need. What has she done?’
‘Mrs Winston didn’t tell me and I didn’t ask. She can’t get hold of Wendy and they want Jenna to go home.’
‘Thank you, I’m really grateful to you for stepping in,’ said Nick wearily. ‘I’ll phone later.’
But when he phoned back in fifteen minutes, it was to ask for Stella’s help.
‘Jenna’s in deep trouble,’ he said, sounding even more shattered than ever. ‘She was caught bunking off maths and smoking with a friend in the showers and when they were caught and the teacher gave out to them, Jenna went ballistic and said something along the lines of “she could bloody well
smoke if she felt like it”. Bad language was a major feature of her tirade, apparently. Mrs Winston has just given me an earful about how they won’t tolerate that type of behaviour in the school. Jenna’s on a warning and if anything like this happens again, she could be expelled.’
Stella winced.
‘The problem is, Wendy isn’t at home and her mobile is turned off. The school insist that Jenna is picked up. I know this is asking you a huge favour what with all that’s happened between us, and I know you’re busy at work, but would you do it?’
‘I can’t imagine she’ll even get in the car with me,’ Stella pointed out.
‘She will,’ said Nick grimly. ‘I just spoke to her on her mobile and she was very subdued.’
Stella couldn’t imagine Jenna being subdued. She must ask Mrs Winston for the secret.
‘Of course I’ll do it,’ she said with a confidence she didn’t feel. Jenna would probably be as rude as hell to her, but despite their row, she couldn’t let Nick down. If he’d been just another parent with a kid who needed picking up, she’d have helped.
‘Thanks,’ said Nick gratefully.
It was just after three in the afternoon when Stella drove into The Harmon School. A group of male and female students in grey tracksuits sloped back into the school to face the afternoon after sports.
‘I’m looking for Mrs Winston’s office,’ Stella said to a couple of sweet kids who looked so young that they had to be first years.
Following their directions, she found herself in a modern corridor with signs pointing to various offices. At the principal and vice principal’s office, the school secretary sat in an anteroom in front of a computer. She was a strikingly attractive girl and Stella imagined that all the male students had crushes on her.
‘Can I help?’
‘I’m Stella Miller and I’m here for Jenna Cavaletto.’
The girl’s face dropped. ‘Oh,’ she said.
‘Is she in very big trouble?’ asked Stella.
‘Pretty much,’ said the girl. ‘She’s lucky the principal is away. He’s tougher than Mrs Winston.’
Stella wondered what the principal could possibly be like because Mrs Winston had sounded quite stern on the phone. She turned out to be tall, lean woman with short grey hair and a grave, intelligent face.
‘Ms Miller, thanks for coming. You’re Jenna’s stepmother, I believe.’
Stella sank into the proffered chair. ‘Not precisely. I’m a friend of her father’s. He’ll be home tomorrow and I’m sure he and Mrs Cavaletto will come in to discuss things.’
‘You were good to come and pick Jenna up. We have a policy of not allowing pupils to remain on the premises when something like this happens. If they spend the day in class, suddenly they’ve done this brave thing and stood up to the staff. That seriously undermines everything we stand for. We have found that sending the pupil home gives a firm message that this behaviour is not acceptable.’
‘Of course it isn’t,’ Stella murmured.
Mrs Winston buzzed for Jenna to be brought in.
Stella wondered if she ought to let Mrs Winston in on the fact that Jenna might refuse point-blank to go home with her.
She decided not to.
Jenna came into the room, her face white. Her expression was minus the usual truculence she displayed whenever she met Stella.
‘Hi, Jenna,’ said Stella flatly. ‘I’ve come to take you home.’
‘OK,’ said Jenna quietly, looking at the parquet floor.
‘I hope you’ll think about what I’ve said, Jenna,’ said Mrs Winston. ‘If you’re not prepared to behave in a reasonable manner, then we don’t want you in Harmon.’
‘Yes,’ mumbled Jenna.
Despite the fact that on many occasions, Stella would have done anything to see Jenna downcast and reprimanded, now that it had happened, she felt a surge of pity for the girl. Jenna didn’t look like a tough, rebellious girl any more. In her school uniform with a biro stain on a cuff and her school bag dangling from one shoulder, she looked like a kid who needed a hug.
Still, she wouldn’t appreciate one from Stella.
‘Let’s go,’ Stella said. ‘Thanks, Mrs Winston.’
Jenna led the way, seemingly anxious to be out of Mrs Winston’s presence.
The two of them walked in silence to Stella’s car.
When she switched the ignition on, the radio came on and Stella made no effort to turn the volume down. Given their past history she didn’t want to talk to Jenna in case the girl started raging against her again.
‘I suppose I’m going to get a lecture now,’ snapped Jenna as they reached the school gates.
Stella, concentrating on getting out into a line of heavy traffic, shook her head.
‘Not from me. That’s between you and your parents.’
‘But you’re my stepmother.’ The way Jenna said it, made the word sound like triple axe-murderer.
A month ago, Stella would have flared up at Jenna’s tone of voice. Now, she’d learned her lesson. Jenna was a troubled kid and it wasn’t Stella’s job to sort her out. All Stella could do was be calm with her.
‘No, Jenna, I’m not your stepmother. You’re too old for a stepmother, you don’t need my help. And I’m not getting into a fight with you. If that’s what you want, phone your mother. I’m driving you to my home as a favour to your father, that’s all. If you want to fight, I’ll turn this car around and deliver you back to Mrs Winston.’