Just Breathe Trilogy Box Set (128 page)

“Fuck, Emma,” Joe whimpers as I remove my mouth from his body and swallow the last of his cum. He cups my face, eager to taste himself on my lips as his body lowers back into the water.

Once he’s seated, I straddle him, wanting so desperately to share with him in words how much I love him and need him, but can’t. Why are words so challenging for me to share my emotions? Instead, as always, I use my body to the best of my ability for the rest of the night to share with him the love within me.

The rest of Summer flies by as my belly grows. The first time I felt Joe Jr. move threw me completely off guard and has me calling Maggie at three in the morning while Joe sat next to me in bed panicking. I’m not sure what had made me think to call Maggie, but I’m glad I did. Her sweet, loving laughter and excitement actually eased my nerves once I realized what was happening. Joe and I stayed up for the next few hours after that too excited to go back to sleep despite the fact that we were scheduled to start moving into our new home the next day.

Joe Jr. decided to make his presence known more the following day at the house while we were planting the living urn for my parents. Joe insisted that we start off the house right by giving mom and dad their spot right away before we did anything else. So, as the movers took care of the boxes and furniture under Anna’s direction, we added their ashes with the tree. Joe Jr. kicked right as we finished covering the hole with the last few scoops of dirt. Joe said it was an omen — a sign of good luck.

As Anna brought our lunch out to us on the patio, we had just finished getting our room taken care of, I almost spat my drink out when Joe Jr. decided to kick again. Joe had a worried look on his face, thinking something was wrong, but I knew what was happening. Joe shifted in his seat, excited to feel his son when I explained. After moving Joe’s hand around on my belly, sure enough, Joe Jr. made contact again with his father when Joe placed his cheek next to his hand and started talking to Joe Jr.. Right after lunch, Joe and I immediately started working on Joe Jr.’s room.

A few weeks later when Maggie’s baby shower took place, I realized that there was still so much I didn’t have for the baby and was extremely happy to know that mine is a boy to help with planning. Joe and I have been so focused on preparing the house and where Joe Jr. will be born, that there are a lot of little things we’ve forgotten about. Brenda and Gwen were sweet, stating that things can always be taken care of after Joe Jr. arrives, but were supportive when I asked questions and started getting other items as well.

Joe has yet to propose and I know in my heart that I don’t
need
him to marry me to make me feel loved and complete. I don’t
need
to marry him to know he loves me — he just does. I see it in his eyes and I feel it every time I catch him staring at me or how he holds and kisses me. Yes, it’s a day of sharing our vows in front of friends and family, but signing a piece of paper in the eyes of the law won’t establish this relationship — our relationship. It’s known between the two of us with everything we do on a daily basis. The kisses, the little smiles, the inside jokes, the way he touches me and our unborn child, the way we make each other laugh, the way we’re completely comfortable with each other sexually and non-sexually, is what matters most. I’ve resigned to the fact that knowing and feeling it is more important than just one day — just one day out of all of our days together so far and what they’ll be in the future.

Sadie is attached to my hip at all times, not that she’s never been protective and always there, but she won’t go anywhere without me, not even outside to run around or potty even when the doors are left wide open. She’ll whine a little, letting me know she needs to go out and waits patiently for me. Anna’s need to walk Sadie has disappeared with the house, so I make sure that I get outside several times a day for both myself and Sadie. She doesn’t really play fetch anymore, not willing to go beyond ten feet from me, but she’ll play with Joe, me or anyone else who’s over, wrestling, playing tug-of-war or jumping in and out of the pool.

It’s now the first weekend in August, and today, we’re having everyone over for a relaxing barbecue. Joe and I have been able to have some much needed quiet and prep time for business and the baby, so we figured we should have everyone over as our official housewarming party. All of his family have been in California for the past month with them staying at his and his parent’s penthouses on Colorado. The Nelson’s are enjoying being in California and Mrs. Nelson has been over since eight in the morning helping Anna and me with the food. Mr. Nelson is out on the patio with Joe, heating up the grill as all of our friends and family trickle in by eleven.

“Hey,
Kitten
,” Jared greets, walking into the kitchen.

“Hey,” I return with a smile.

“How’s my favorite nephew?”

“Good,” I say.

“How’s Maggie?” Jared checks.

“Good,” I answer. “She and Henry are out on the patio with everyone.”

“She hasn’t popped yet, has she?”

“No,” I laugh. “Not yet. But, if she did, we’re ready for it here.”

“Is he awake?”

“Who?” I check.

“Joe Jr.,” Jared says, touching my belly. “I want to feel him kick.”

“He’s been quiet for the past hour,” I inform. “But, as soon as he wakes up, you’ll be the first to know.”

Jared pulls me into a hug. “I’m really proud of you,
Kitten
.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jared confirms. “You’re amazing and I’m really proud of how well you’re handling all of this.”

“Thanks.”

“I know I’ve known you for a long time, but I’ve never seen you this relaxed and happy,” Jared shares. “I mean, I’ve seen you happy, but never
this
happy.”

My hand glides across my belly. “It’s probably all the hormones,” I joke. “How’s the wedding planning going?”

“Great,” Jared confesses. “We’ve got everything covered and done. Mrs. Silkworth and Joe’s mom have been really helpful. Nathan and I just need to fly back to New York one more time to finalize a few minor details, but we’re waiting until Maggie pops first.”

“Elaine told me she didn’t know anything about the wedding,” I comment.

“She knows a little,” Jared admits with a smirk.

“Jared,” I press.

“Just relax, Emma,” Jared insists. “Some of us know how to plan things other than you.”

“Hey,” I reply with a fake pout.

“You’re not fooling anyone,” Jared laughs.

“What?!”

“If you’re good, I’ll show you the dresses we picked out for you and Maggie,” Jared reveals.

“Really?!”

“Only if you’re good,” he reminds.

I bat my eyes and smile.

“That’s not working to your favor,” Jared teases.

“Then, you don’t have to be Joe. Jr.’s godfather,” I present nonchalantly.

“We’ve been through that threat already, remember? Besides, Joe would argue with you on that one,” Jared boasts confidently.

“Argue with Emma about what?” Joe asks, coming into view.

“About Nathan and me being godfathers for Joe Jr.,” Jared states.

“Emma?” Joe questions as if I’ve done something wrong.

“I didn’t say Nathan wouldn’t . . . just you,” I say smirking.

“Emma,” Joe calls speculatively.

“He started it,” I return.

“That doesn’t mean you have to finish it,” Joe states.

“Yes, it does,” I retaliate.

“Emma,” Joe scolds sweetly, smacking my ass.

Jared snickers.

“I’m the one who is pregnant,” I challenge.

“So?” Jared says.

“So, you all have to be nice to me and be on my side,” I comment.

“Since when?” Jared debates.

“Since always,” I goad.

“Fight nice, you two,” Joe directs, kissing me.

“I’m always nice,” I challenge.

Joe and Jared laugh.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing,” they say in unison.

“You’re not the godfather anymore,” I say to Jared and then look to Joe and comment, “and you’re not getting laid today.”

They continue to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” I question.

“Nothing,” they say again.

My eyes narrow.

“You and I both know that you’ll be begging Joe for some action tonight,” Jared teases.

“No,” I counter though it’s a complete lie.

“We’re men, Emma . . . but, we still talk too,” Jared announces.

“What do you mean
you still talk to
o?” I press.

“Just because I’m your best friend and he’s . . . Joe, doesn’t mean we don’t have guy time,” Jared presents.

“Guy time?” I question.

“Don’t get me in trouble,” Joe declares.

“Trouble?” I ponder. “Why would Jared get you in trouble, Joseph?”

Jared laughs.

“God, it’s still sexy when you say my name like that,” Joe replies.

“Since when do you two talk?” I press.

“Since . . . uh,” Jared coughs.

“Since we knew each other,” Joe admits.

“Why?”

“Why what?” Jared asks.

“Why do you two talk?”

“Because we’re friends,” Joe laughs.

I eye them suspiciously. “Friends?”

“Yes, beautiful,” Joe confirms. “Friends.”

“What have you two been talking about since you met?” I search.

“Things,” Jared says. “Guy things.”

“Guy things?”

“It’s not always about you,” Jared states casually.

“Why do I get the feeling that you two have been talking about certain . . .
things
before Joe and I even started dating?” I ask.

“What do you mean?” Jared questions, acting like there’s nothing to be suspicious about.

“We did talk about you a little bit,” Joe reveals.

“Did?” I ponder.

“Jared was helping me to understand you,” Joe shares, taking a strawberry from the plate in front of me and popping into his mouth.

“Helping you?” I repeat.

“Mm hm,” Joe confirms.

Neither of them says anything further.

“You’re off the godfather list,” I state calmly to Jared.

“Can’t take me off the list,
Kitten
,” Jared says confidently.

“Why not?” I check.

“Because, I’m marrying his other godfather,” Jared reminds.

“Emma,” Joe calls.

“What?” I return.

“Let it go,” Joe directs sweetly.

“Let what go?” I reply.

“All that matters is where we are today,” Joe insists.

“And, where’s that?” I muse.

“Together . . . happy . . . in love . . . and about to have a beautiful baby boy,” Joe announces.

“Why are you taking his side?” I inquire.

“I’m not taking anyone’s side,” Joe answers.

“Yes, you are,” I challenge. “You’re supposed to take my side.”

“Why?” asks Jared.

“Because, we’re dating,” I present.

“Just like I’m supposed to take your side since we were friends first?” Jared inspects.

“Precisely,” I confirm.

Jared laughs. “What do you think we’ve been doing this whole time?”

“What?” I say, confused by his words.

Jared wraps his arms around me. “I’ve always taken your side . . . even if it doesn’t look like I have or am. I just want you to be happy . . . so sometimes, taking someone else’s side is my way of taking your side.”

“That’s not funny,” I declare.

“I wasn’t trying to be funny,
Kitten
,” Jared soothes. “I was just merely coaxing from the sidelines.”

“Coaxing what?” I ask.

“Coaxing me,” Joe says with a smirk.

“Seriously?” I question.

“I told you, beautiful,” Joe begins, “I’ve loved you since the day I met you.”

“So?” I say.

“So,” Joe starts, eating another strawberry, “I enlisted the help of friends to assist.”

“Assist with what?” I explore though I know what they’re sharing.

“Assist you to get your stick out of your ass and date the guy,” Jared says abruptly. “You’re welcome by the way.”

“What?” I gasp.

“You’re welcome,” Jared repeats. “If some of us didn’t
assist
Joe, you two might not be where you are. You know, a guy does have limits.”

My mouth opens to speak, but nothing comes out.

“You were worth the wait, beautiful,” Joe informs. “And, I would do it all over again.”

“I can’t believe you’ve been scheming behind my back,” I say to Jared.

“Can you blame me,
Kitten
?” Jared asks. “We . . . I only wanted you to be happy, and you are.”

I grimace and try to hide it.

“What’s wrong?” Jared asks, jumping to attention.

“It’s fine,” I reply.

“Are you okay?” Jared looks to Joe. “Is she okay?”

The sensation happens again.

“Emma?” Joe asks.

“You’re son is up,” I mention.

“Is it supposed to hurt?” Jared asks nervously.

“It doesn’t hurt,” I share. “He’s just kicked me in the bladder and I almost peed myself.”

Jared studies me.

“One of the joys of pregnancy,” I say with a half smile.

“She’ll be fine,” Joe soothes.

“You sure,
Kitten
?” Jared checks.

“Yes,” I confirm with a laugh.

Two days after our party, Joe and I are awoken by a call from Henry saying that Maggie’s labor has started. From what Joe said, Henry is freaking out while Maggie seems fairly calm in the background. By the time we get to them, everyone at the house is awake. Mŭqīn, Fŭqīn and Nǎinai have been staying with them for the past two weeks along with Henry’s parents. They’re all gathered in the living room while a few of them assist and monitor Maggie who is currently folding laundry, which is driving Henry crazy.

Five hours later, after most of us dozing in and out of sleep in the large living room, Maggie’s midwife confirms that Maggie has hit the five-centimeter mark. As Maggie’s doula and midwife prepare the room for delivery, Maggie, Kim, Amy, Jade and I are in the baby’s room chatting while Maggie does what Kim calls
nesting
.

“How are you feeling?” Amy checks.

“Great,” Maggie confirms.

“The room is ready whenever you’re ready to deliver, Maggie,” Greta, Maggie’s doula, informs.

“Thank you, Greta,” Maggie replies, continuing to unpack gender neutral, baby clothing.

“You know,” I begin, “this would be a lot easier if you would have found out if it’s a boy or girl.”

Maggie adds the last few folded items to the girl pile of clothing. “Very funny, Emma.”

I offer a fake smile which gets Maggie to laugh.

“So, Emma,” Maggie calls.

“Yeah?”

“Joe still hasn’t proposed again, has he?” Maggie inquires sweetly.

“No,” I verify, holding up my left hand for all of them to see the lack of an engagement ring.

“I thought he would have by now,” Amy comments.

“Me too,” Kim says.

“Really?” I ask speculatively.

“We all know he’s in it for the long haul,” Amy presents. “I mean, look at how he looks at you . . . tends to you. It’s as if you two are already married.”

I can’t help but smile at how she’s describing our relationship while feeling a small pang of disappointment that Joe hasn’t asked.

“He will,” Maggie states.

“How do you know?” Amy checks. “Do you know something?”

“No,” Maggie returns. “Even if I did, I wouldn’t say anything. It would take all the fun out of it.”

“Has he hinted to anything, Emma?” Kim asks.

“No,” I say on a controlled breath out.

“Ha ha, you’re belly looks funny, Emma,” Jade mentions, pointing at me.

Looking down, I smile, realizing what Jade’s talking about. I’ve gotten so used to Joe Jr. flipping around in my belly that it doesn’t phase me sometimes. “That’s your cousin waking up,” I tell her.

“I know,” Jade states. “I never saw Mommy’s, Aunt Amy’s or Aunt Maggie’s belly do that.”

I’ve got the most active baby of the four of us from what the girls tell me.

“You want to feel him?” I ask her.

“Yeah!” Jade answers, moving closer.

I assist her with finding him so Joe Jr. will press out at her touch. He’s still for a few moments until Jade’s head bounces slightly. She giggles as Joe Jr. touches her a second time.

“How are we doing in here, ladies?” Ava asks kindly. “Does anyone want some tea or something to eat?”

“That would be lovely. Thank you, Ava,” Maggie answers.

When we finish up in the baby’s room, Maggie’s doula and midwife check her vitals again as well as see how dilated Maggie is from an hour ago. They share that she’s only an inch wider.

The five of us and Sadie return downstairs, having breakfast with the rest of the family who’re already gathered in the larger dining room. The men seem to be doing a decent job of keeping Henry as relaxed as possible, but I can see the excitement and nervousness in his gaze.

“How’s she holding up?” Joe asks, directing me to sit on his lap.

“Good,” I answer, avoiding sitting on him.

“What’s wrong?” Joe questions.

“I’m too big and I’ll crush you,” I reply.

“No, you’re not,” Joe insists, not letting me go.

I stay, cuddling with Joe until the food is officially served, seeking my own seat next to him on the right. Jared and Nathan are to my right and the rest of the family settles down, tired but hungry.

After breakfast, Maggie takes a long shower before getting checked again. Greta confirms that Maggie is officially seven centimeters, but Maggie says that she isn’t feeling any contractions. Henry presses a little for Maggie to get into the tub where they plan to do the water birth, but she says that she needs to stretch. Laying out her yoga mat in her bedroom, Amy, Kim, Greta, Jade, Jared and Nathan tag along, stretching and assisting Maggie as she goes through the poses. Henry sits on the edge of the bed while Joe assists me with my stretches — getting a little too touchy feely on occasion, which makes me laugh and almost pee myself twice.

I get what Joe’s doing, trying to relax any tension from my body, but his hands in certain areas are more distracting that he realizes. Thank God Jade is not near us to see or overhear us. After a few more attempts to stretch, without any non-distracting assistance from Joe, I decide to rest and sit on the floor with him, putting my back to his chest. We lounge comfortably as we watch the spectacle of our friends before us.

Thirty minutes later, Maggie climbs into the tub with the lights off, candles lit and calming smells swirling in the air. Aside from Maggie, Henry, Kim, Greta and Becky, Maggie’s midwife, being in the room for delivery, Maggie requests that Nǎinai, Mŭqīn and I join her also. It’s a good thing that her bathroom is practically the size of my old apartment or else we all wouldn’t fit.

“How’re you feeling?” I ask quietly, trying not to disturb the peace by being louder than the music that’s now playing.

“Good,” Maggie answers with a smile.

“Good,” I return.

“Get Joe,” Maggie says.

“What? Why?”

“He should be here too,” Maggie comments. “Know what to expect for you, you know?”

“Are you sure?” I check.

Maggie offers a loving smile and I know she’s made up her mind.

Joe joins me next to the tub, sitting on the floor that is covered by pillows after Nǎinai retrieves him. Henry’s in the water with Maggie while Mŭqīn and Nǎinai hold Maggie’s right hand and I hold her left. Greta and Becky monitor and check on Maggie and everyone regularly, changing the music and giving suggestions based off of Maggie’s mood.

My head drifts to thoughts of the day of when Joe Jr. will be born. Will it be as calm and relaxed as today? Will Joe freak out like Henry? How many people do I want in the room with me when Joe Jr.’s on his way? Can I even do this?

Maggie’s hand squeezing down on mine snaps me back to reality and I realize that her baby’s head is already crowning. Henry helps guide Maggie and the baby under Greta’s and Becky’s instructions. Within a few minutes, a beautiful, baby girl is born. Henry lifts her, shifting her onto Maggie’s chest as the two of them greet my niece. For all the panicking Henry did, he’s calm and relaxed — peaceful and contented.

Maggie suddenly starts to have contraction-like pain again and Greta reassures that it’s just Maggie’s body pushing out the placenta. With their little one resting on her chest, Maggie controls her breaths one more time as she gets ready to push. As she takes her fourth breath, Becky slides into the five-person tub, joining Maggie and Henry.

“Everything okay?” Henry checks.

With a large smile, Becky replies, “Everything’s wonderful. I just need you to help mom keep a hold on that baby while she pushes the next one out.”

“Okay,” Henry replies absentmindedly.

“What?!” Mŭqīn exclaims.

“Did you just say
while
she pushes the next one out
?” Henry gasps.

“Yes,” Becky confirms with a smile. “We knew there was a second one, but Maggie insisted on not hearing anything.”

“Twins?” I exclaim, sucking in a breath.

“What?!” Henry chokes.

“Twins?!” Maggie asks excitedly.

“That’s right, mommy,” Becky affirms. “You’re having twins. Now, we need you to gather up your energy to push out her brother or sister. Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah,” Maggie agrees on a tired breath out.

A few moments later, Henry and Maggie have a little boy.

Tears have been falling down my face since Maggie started to push out her little girl and haven’t stopped as I sit awestruck and speechless at the fact that I have a niece and nephew. Maggie shares a smile with me, one that is laced with a universe of deep emotions.