Just Deserts (15 page)

‘
Very well, I shan’t, then,’ Persephone said equably. ‘There
is no need to behave like a cat on a hot bakestone. You are jogging
my shoulder.’

Subsiding, Penelope begged pardon. ‘Besides, I am not in
the least sure that—that—I mean, he has shown me no sign
of—’

‘
Naturally not, he is a gentleman. But he was attentive? You
had an enjoyable day with him?’

‘
Oh, it was famous,’ Penelope said, her eyes sparkling. ‘He
took me to Temple Bar, you know. Quite unfashionable, but so
amusing. Such a rush of people. It was like the bazaars in Bombay
where Ayah used to take us, remember? Except that the wares in the
shops were of far higher quality.’

‘
So I should imagine,’ Persephone said smiling. ‘You always
were an acquisitive soul, Pen. Confess now. What monstrously
useless items have you purchased?’

‘
None, upon my honour. Not but what I could well have spent
a fortune. There was anything you could wish to buy, and the shops
so opulent and splendid. Only in the linen-drapers was I perhaps a
trifle disappointed. For so much of their cloth is from India, you
know. You would not credit the outrageous prices. Fifteen shillings
the yard for a muslin for which I would not give fifteen
rupees!’

‘
No!’

‘
Yes, indeed. Though Fitz said it was to be expected. Such a
long way to come, and the taxes imposed, you know, are quite
iniquitous. Why, he tells me there is talk of a tax on
hair-powder.’

‘
Outrageous,’ Persephone agreed, but with a twinkle in her
eye.

‘
Well, it is,’ insisted Pen, but with a quivering
lip. ‘I know you take no interest in such things, but you would sit
up fast enough were
horses
in
question.’

‘
Yes, I confess I am bowled over by the quality of the
English cattle.’ She reached her free hand out to clasp her
sister’s fingers. ‘I am very happy for you, Pen. You are plainly in
alt to be here. Now, if we can but nudge Fitz on—’

‘
Don’t be absurd. Oh dear, I
wish
you
were not so acute.’

‘
We are twins, dearest. I can’t help but be attuned to your
emotions.’ She noted the clouding of Penelope’s eyes and added, ‘Do
you care so much?’

‘
Oh no,’ Penelope said at once, ‘indeed I don’t.
I—I
like
him very well and—and I will confess I
do
think about him rather. But I can’t altogether
trust
him. Oh dear, that sounds churlish after his kindness to
me. But it is
true.’

‘
Trust him how?’

‘
Oh, in his expressions of friendship. I suspect he is
amused by me for the moment, you know. And—and perhaps when he has
grown used to my odd ways he will seek another source of
entertainment. Do you see?’

Persephone nodded. ‘Very well indeed. This is the
penalty of fashion. Everything must be
de rigueur
and
á la mode
for the time. Until some new quirk
arrives and all that is
passé.’

‘
And Fitz is in the forefront of fashion.’

‘
Until some other gifted upstart ousts him.’

‘
Yes, but if I must wait for that, Seph, I shall very likely
be an old maid.’

‘
Not you,’ Persephone told her positively. ‘Papa
has already turned away any number of
prétendants.
There will be cousin Rossendale and that foreign
idiot.’

‘
Count Leopold,’ her sister put in, ‘and I doubt if he is in
the least bit serious.’

‘
Is he not?’ Persephone said. ‘He is as poor as a
church mouse by all accounts and must be only too ready to line his
pockets. Like that Chiddingly. Mark my words if
he
is not
knocking on Papa’s door within the week.’

But, before Chiddingly found an opportunity to put in his
bid, another would-be suitor had gone to see the nabob, and put him
in a most unaccustomed rage.

***

A few mornings later, the Winsford twins were sitting
cosily in the small shabby parlour when they were interrupted by
the eruption into the room of their father.

‘
Ha!’ the nabob barked. ‘You’re both there, are you? Well,
I’ll thank you to tell me who the deuce is this Bolsover? I’ll
Bolsover him!’

Two sets of grey eyes regarded him with
astonishment.

‘
Don’t stare at me like a pair of noddies!
Who—is—he?’

Penelope shook her head dumbly, but Persephone frowned,
recalling the day of the baron’s horse trial. Had not that been the
name Letty had mentioned? Billy Bolsover, was it not?

‘
A little man?’ she asked her father. ‘Tubby?’

‘
Tubby?’ echoed the nabob. ‘As broad as he is long. And an
impertinent jackanapes! So you know him, do you?’

‘
I have seen him, I think. But we have not been
introduced.’

‘
As I suspected. As I suspected, by Jupiter! The infernal
impudence of the man!’

‘
Why, Papa, what has he done?’ quavered Penelope.

‘
I will tell you what he has done,’ the nabob said, in a
tone of suppressed passion that showed plainly the origin of
Persephone’s volatile temperament. ‘This obese dwarf has been here
to request of me to address my daughters.’

‘
What
?’
gasped the twins in unison.

‘
To address my
daughters,
’
repeated the nabob with emphasis. ‘I
assumed it was a slip of the tongue. “Sir,” I said in a jocular
tone, “surely you cannot mean to marry both of them?” He laughed.
Very merrily, I thought. So I asked him. “Well, which one, sir?” as
would anyone have done. “Which one?”’

Here the nabob’s tanned features darkened as his eye
kindled again. He blew out his cheeks.

‘
Well, Papa?’ prompted Penelope.

‘
Do you know what the roly-poly, squat-faced, pig-eyed,
swag-bellied pork hog had the audacity to say to me?’

Two golden heads shook
from side to side.

‘
Either,’
announced the nabob dramatically.

The twins gazed at him, stunned by this
disclosure.

‘“
Either
,
sir?” I
roared,’ continued their father. ‘“Did I hear you aright? You
said
either
?”
He had the temerity to repeat
himself. Well, I told him what I thought of him, you may be sure of
that. Deuce take it, I know there are bound to be bloodsuckers
after my blunt, but let them at least go about the business with a
little finesse!
Either
,
indeed!’

He was seriously discomposed. The more so when Penelope
went off into a peal of laughter. He glared at her.

‘
You find it humorous, do you? Well, I do not.’

‘
Nor I,’ Persephone agreed. ‘It is the outside of
enough.’

‘
I b-beg your pardon, Papa,’ Penelope gasped, making valiant
efforts to contain her amusement. ‘It is very bad indeed. But I
confess I find it droll, nevertheless. Don’t mind me, Papa. I am
dreadful, I know.’

The nabob’s hostility began to melt. ‘Well, well, I shan’t
scold you. Always were a frivolous little puss. Merry at the
slightest thing. But mind this, both of you. If you take it into
your heads to marry any such pork-bellied jack-pudding, not a
farthing will you get from me!’

With which valedictory utterance he stalked from the room,
leaving Penelope to have her laugh out in comfort.

It was with some misgiving, therefore, that he received
from Lord Chiddingly a couple of days later a request for the hand
of his daughter. Looking suspiciously at him, the nabob asked in a
somewhat belligerent tone, ‘Which one?’

‘
Miss Penelope, sir,’ said Chiddingly, without
hesitation.

‘
Ha!’ barked Archie, visibly relaxing. ‘Well, sit down, my
boy, sit down, and we’ll discuss the matter.’

He motioned his guest to one of the strawberry
damask-covered chairs which his wife had caused to be
re-upholstered upon their taking up residence, declaring the
original covers to be shabby beyond belief. Once Chiddingly and his
host were seated either side of the wide fireplace, Archie bade his
guest say why he had fixed upon Penelope.

‘
Seems an odd choice for a man of your tastes,’ he said,
looking at him rather hard.

Chiddingly was annoyed to feel himself reddening. Damn the
man! Did he mean to insinuate, like Fitz, that he would be better
suited with Persephone?

‘
I was attracted to your daughter at the outset of our
acquaintance,’ he said, his tone stiff. ‘I find her. .
.exquisitely. . .charming.’

‘
Hm. Not one for pretty speeches, are you? Can’t think
you’ll make much headway with my Pen,’ the nabob said with
devastating frankness. ‘But my little peas will decide for
themselves. I have nothing to say to it, so long as they take care
to choose an honest man.’

He held up a hand as
Chiddingly made a move to speak.

‘
No, I don’t mean to imply any criticism, young feller. Nor
I don’t expect any romantical nonsense that takes no account of my
circumstances. When you’re as warm a man as I, you must expect it
to weigh with any suitor.’

‘
Quite so, sir,’ Chiddingly agreed.

‘
But an out-and-out fortune-hunter I won’t tolerate. It’s a
tidy sum I’ll be leaving my little peas, quite aside from their
fifty thousand apiece.’

‘
Fifty thousand?’ echoed Chiddingly in surprise.

So it was not one hundred thousand, after all, he thought
in shock. That was the sum of their combined fortunes. This put a
different complexion on the matter.

Fortunately the nabob took his exclamation the wrong way.
‘Yes, it’s a goodly sum. Could have made it more. But as I say, I’d
have had every man jack of a self-seeking adventurer after them. As
it is, if I’m disappointed in my hopes, I can tie it all up in
trust so that no husband sees a penny of it. D’ye see?’

‘
I see, sir,’ Chiddingly said, ‘and I applaud your
foresight. I believe you will not find me as greedy as
that.’

‘
I certainly hope not. But it’s early days to be discussing
settlements. Better try your luck before we come to terms. I’ll
send Penelope down to you.’

He nodded at the visitor, and went off without more ado.
Chiddingly was left to kick his heels, and mentally kick himself
for being so precipitate. Fifty thousand was still a considerable
sum, and, invested well, would keep him rolling for a few years at
least. But was it truly enough to be worth tying himself up in
matrimony? And to a female so closely allied to one whom he would
be happy never to meet again?

But having gone so far, he could not with honour pull out
of it. He caught himself hoping that Penelope would refuse him,
thinking that if only Fitz had been more épris he would have
refrained from coming himself to the point. What was more, he would
have been able to confound that hellcat, Persephone, showing her
suspicions of him to appear unfounded. As it was—

The door opened, cutting off his thoughts, and Miss
Winsford entered the saloon. She was looking remarkably pretty in a
chemise gown of soft green muslin with a dainty sprig, her golden
curls uncovered and falling loosely about her face and
shoulders.

She checked on the threshold and paused for a moment, a
look, he thought, of uncertainty in her grey eyes.

‘
Good morning, Miss Winsford,’ he said, nerving himself for
the ordeal with which he now had to proceed.

She came into the room and closed the door, and Chiddingly,
wanting to get it over with, plunged into speech.

‘
Miss Winsford, I have spoken with your father. He has
permitted that I address you, and I therefore have the honour to
ask for your hand.’

The lady’s cool grey eyes looked him over from his head to
his heels. Then she spoke, the husky tones unmistakable.

‘
Choosing another filly for your stud,
Chiddingly?’

Chapter Six

‘
Persephone
!
’
uttered Chiddingly, aghast.

‘
Yes, it is I,’ she snapped. ‘And now, how do you propose to
extricate yourself?’

‘
What are
you
doing here?’ he
demanded, thrown off balance.

‘
I
live
here, or had you
forgotten?’

‘
No—I mean—I was expecting—’

‘
You were expecting Pen, were you? What a surprise. I came
down to collect a book I left in here earlier, as it so happens. I
little thought I should find instead a proposal of
marriage.’