Just for a Night (6 page)

‘I also think you have overestimated James's feelings for
me
. Why should he be so taken with me? I'm
not all that good-looking, for one thing. There must be plenty of ladies in James's social circle much more beautiful and glamorous. And
willing
, Henry,' she added pointedly. ‘Do you honestly think a man as attractive as James could not indulge himself sexually any time he liked, if that was what he wanted?'

‘I never said that was what he
wanted
,' Henry argued back.

‘Then what
are
you saying?'

‘Just that sometimes people get caught up in a combination of situations which work against their natural decency. I have
not
overestimated His Lordship's feelings for you, I assure you. I do think, however, that you
under
estimate your own attractions, Miss Marina. Aside from your delightfully feminine shape, you have a luminescent kind of beauty which shines from your face and your eyes. As for your hair…it has a touch-me colour and quality which any man would find hard to ignore.'

Marina coloured as her hand fluttered up to touch her hair. ‘You exaggerate. Surely?'

‘Not at all. About anything. I
know
, Miss Marina, what my Jamie-boy likes.'

She stared at the valet, aware he had deliberately used this old nickname to show her how well he
did
know his one-time boyish charge.

‘You're frightening me, Henry.'

‘I hope so, miss. For I would not like to see you go home with a broken heart. At the moment it is only beating as any woman's heart might beat faster when a man such as His Lordship flatters her with his
attention. Take care not to let it beat faster for any other reason. Go down to Winterborne Hall with His Lordship by all means. But be on your guard against the temptation to forget where you are and who you are not.'

Marina drew herself up straight, her pride and self-esteem sending a gleam of righteous anger into her green eyes. ‘I am as good as the next person, Henry.'

‘I agree with you, Miss Marina. But you are not the lady whom His Lordship is going to marry. Even if you were madly in love with him—which seems unlikely at this stage—would it be in his best interests to ever acquaint him with that fact? Would you not show your love better by leaving him in peace to make a marriage he is not only committed to but which he will go through with regardless of his own feelings?'

‘Are you saying he doesn't love this Lady Tiffany?'

‘I am saying no such thing. Of course he loves her—just as he loved her brother. He also gave his word to that brother, Miss Marina. He promised his best friend as he went off to war that if anything happened to him he would look after his little sister. This marriage is a sacred duty, in His Lordship's eyes, and one which he was quite happy to carry out…till this morning…'

Marina felt very disturbed by what Henry was implying. ‘But I haven't done anything!'

‘Only been your lovely natural self, Miss Marina. I am not imparting any blame. I agree, things haven't
progressed too far as yet, but I see the warning signs. Don't forget I have been His Lordship's valet for the past seven years, and I know his ways well. I can practically read his mind in matters of the opposite sex.

‘He is not used to leading a celibate life, and his hormones may get the better of his conscience—especially if a lady whom he finds attractive is to be constantly alone in his company and will keep looking at him as though she thinks he's…what was the term? Bloody fantastic?'

Marina's sigh was as heavy as her heart. ‘I get the picture, Henry.'

‘Then you will stay out of the picture?'

Her chin lifted. ‘I will do what is right.'

Whatever that was. She had no idea at that moment. She didn't think like these people. She didn't live her life by rules of stiff tradition and sacred duty. She went with her heart. And her heart at that moment told her she just might
be
madly in love with the Earl of Winterborne.

Stranger things had happened. If love at first sight did not exist then why had it been written about for centuries? Whatever her feelings for James turned out to be, she certainly knew that she could not marry Shane now. What she felt for him definitely wasn't love. He'd filled a need in her life when she'd been wretched and lonely, then confused her with his expert lovemaking.

Marina resolved to do the right thing and break her engagement when she returned home. She would
soften the blow for Shane by giving him both the horses and the business name of the riding school he'd helped build up with her mother. Somehow she didn't think he'd be too upset with the arrangement.

As for doing the right thing at this end of things…

That was up to James, wasn't it?

‘Y
OU'RE
looking much better,' James said as he handed her into the back seat of the green Bentley for the ride to the hospital, supposedly only a ten-minute trip—fifteen if the traffic was bad.

Marina had earlier secured Henry's approval for her choice of a plain black suit for the occasion, as well as the way she'd done her hair, its bright mass of red-gold curls held back at the nape of her neck with a plain black clip.

The valet hadn't actually said anything, but she was beginning to read his facial expressions, as subtle as they were. Approval rated the barest nod of his head on first sighting, plus the minutest gleam in his steely grey eyes.

Henry would not have approved if he'd been able to read her mind. Or her heart. She'd been breathless with anticipation for James's return from the moment she'd woken, hardly able to wait to see him again, to
be
with him again. Lunch had been stuffed down, not because she'd felt hungry but because James had ordered her to eat. Marina suspected she would do anything Lord Winterborne ordered her to do.

‘You obviously had a good sleep,' he added when he climbed in beside her.

She tried not to stare, but she'd forgotten, even in
that short space of time, just how handsome he was. Mindful of Henry's warnings, and her own infernal conscience, she hoped nothing of her innermost feelings showed in her face, or her eyes.

But how wonderful it would be—just once—to feel free to lean over and press her mouth to his, to look deep into his eyes and tell him how her heart raced whenever he was near, how heaven, for her, would be to spend just one night with him.

Her mind drifted to such a scenario, but this time, strangely, her fantasy was no longer of an explicitly erotic nature. She saw them as just lying together, naked, yes, but simply looking at each other and touching each other tenderly, long, stroking caresses, without tension, without the distraction of the flesh aching for release.

And then she realised she was thinking about how it would be with him…afterwards. Shane always rolled over and went straight to sleep. Marina knew, instinctively, that James would not do this. Not with
her
…

‘That's a most attractive perfume you're wearing,' he muttered, the softly spoken compliment snapping her back to the present. ‘I don't recognise it.'

She simply could not look at him. Not at that moment. If she did, she would surely undress him with her eyes and blush awfully. ‘It's called True Love,' she said, and turned her head to stare through the passenger window.

‘Ahh. A gift from your fiancé?'

Her head whipped back to deny she had a fiancé
any more, not in her heart, and very soon not in reality. But she could not bring herself to say the words. Marina found this distressing, because deception was not in her nature. She wondered if she was deceiving James for his sake, or hers. Henry's warning about going home with a broken heart had been a fair one. Men like James didn't break their engagements for girls like her. They took them as mistresses, not wives.

For all Marina's saying she was as good as the next person, in the circles James moved in relationships had different rules. Hadn't her own upper-crust mother had to run away to Australia to be with the man she'd chosen to marry, just because he was of common descent?

‘No, it belonged to my mother,' she said curtly, her lips pressing together in annoyance at her thoughts.

He stared at her primly held mouth for a long moment, then turned his own head away. It was a slow and rather arrogant gesture, his nose and chin lifting. ‘I must buy Tiffany a bottle,' he said, the words a dagger to her heart.

Idiot,
came that sneering voice she hated so much—mostly because it did not let her pretend.

He couldn't have spelled it out more clearly,
came a second, equally frank opinion.

Well, at least you know the score now,
was the third, and least scathing comment.

Marina tried to blank her mind, but it was impossible. The voices railed on, calling her all sorts of insulting names and adjectives. Although emotionally
harrowing, Marina's mental warrings usually left her strengthened in will-power. Such was the case this time.

‘I think, perhaps,' she said straight away, before she could change her silly mind, ‘it would be better if I took that return flight Henry booked for me next weekend.'

That handsome head jerked round and their eyes clashed. His were furious, hers widening with shock at his instant and very fierce anger. ‘What, in God's name, has Henry been saying to you?' he bit out.

Her guilty blush betrayed both herself and Henry. But the obscenity James muttered under his breath was even more betraying. For it outlined that James was, under his lordly manner, just a man, a mortal man with feelings and failings like any other.

‘Interfering old fool,' he muttered. ‘He thinks he knows it all when in fact he knows nothing.
Nothing!
What has he told you? Tell me! I must know.'

She didn't know what to say, for she was walking a minefield here. As she'd told Henry, there had been nothing between herself and James. At least, nothing spoken, and from what he'd just said about Lady Tiffany, and buying her a bottle of True Love, the valet might very well have jumped to all the wrong conclusions.

‘He…Henry that is,' she began carefully, ‘only has your best interests at heart…'

James snorted. ‘He's living in the Dark Ages. That man has no concept of what life is like these days.'

Marina was startled when James suddenly slid
across the seat towards her and took her hands in his. She shrank back from him into the corner, her eyes rounding on his intense and far too close face. Her heart was immediately pounding. Her lips parted slightly as hot, panting breaths puffed from her lungs.

She was embarrassingly aware of William behind the wheel, just a couple of metres away, blithely ignoring what was going on. Was that because this type of thing happened all the time when His Lordship had an attractive woman in the back seat with him? Henry had implied James had once been a ladies' man. Maybe he'd never given up the tag. Maybe he'd merely moved his romantic rendezvous from his apartment to his car!

‘My God, what
has
he said to you?' he rasped, on seeing her reaction. ‘No, you don't have to tell me. I can guess. I never could hide anything from Henry.'

‘H-hide?' She had begun to tremble at his nearness. His scent enveloped her, as did his powerful male aura. A yearning shuddered through her and she found herself leaning towards him. Closer. Closer.

His fingers tightened around hers. He stared down at them, then began to lift them towards his mouth.

‘No!' she choked out.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds. On opening them, he sighed and placed her hands back in her lap.

‘I do apologise, Marina. I got carried away for a moment. I didn't mean to, I assure you. But you are an incredibly beautiful woman. And so darned desirable! I told myself all morning that I would not,
could
not, entertain such thoughts about you. You're going to be married, as I am.'

‘But I'm not,' she whispered, then gasped in self-horror.

His eyes lifted. Pained, beautiful blue eyes.

‘You're not…what?'

‘Not…not going to be married,' she confessed shakily. Having said this much, she felt compelled to elaborate. ‘I was already having doubts before I came. The trip away has cleared my mind, and now…now I know I can't go through with it.'

He just stared at her, his horror almost as great as her own at this conversation. ‘Not because of
me
, I hope,' he groaned, with a wealth of distress in his voice.

She said nothing, but his telling words sent tears pricking at her eyes. Henry had been so right. She would be going home with a broken heart. All she could ever mean to James was a passing fancy.

His fingertips on her chin turning her slowly back to face him sent a shiver of agonised desire all through her. It did things to her conscience which would afterwards shock her.

Yes, touch me, she willed wildly as their eyes met. Kiss me. Make me yours, at least this way. I don't care if you don't love me, I tell you. I don't care…

‘Dear God,' he whispered, his face shaken as he stared into hers. His hand dropped away and he withdrew from her across the seat, his fingers raking his hair as he did so.

He fell broodingly silent, leaving Marina to her
guilt and her remorse. She wished now she'd never said a thing. It had been wrong of her. And wicked. She'd been warned, but she hadn't heeded that warning. She'd blindly gone ahead and as good as told James she was his for the taking. Henry had practically begged her not to put temptation in his path and what had she done? Told him she'd broken her engagement then looked into his eyes like a love-sick cow.

She felt sick with shame.

She had to
do
something—undo the damage which had been done.

‘You're mistaken,' she said quietly into the thickening silence, hoping William was concentrating on the traffic. He seemed to be, as it was horrendous. ‘My decision has nothing to do with you, other than that you showed me the kind of man I would like to marry. As I said, I was already having serious doubts about Shane before I left Sydney.

‘I will not deny I am attracted to you. You're a very handsome and charming man, James, as I'm sure you are well aware. Henry sensed this…attraction…between us, and it worried him. But an attraction can stay just that, can't it?' she told him, with far more conviction than she was feeling. ‘We don't have to act on it. We can just be friends, can't we?'

His eyes were sardonic as they turned to her. ‘Not if you look at me as you did a moment ago.'

She swallowed, then steeled herself. ‘Granted. But you were touching me at the time. If you give me
your word as a gentleman that you will keep your hands off, I will give you my word as a good Aussie girl not to do anything equally provocative.'

His laugh was rueful. ‘I've met some not so good Aussie girls in my day.'

‘And I've met some not so gentlemanly gentlemen,' she countered. ‘But they are other people and this is us. I would like to think we have a sense of honour. I know I have.'

He sighed. ‘How unfortunate.'

‘You don't mean that, James.'

‘No,' he said wearily. ‘I don't suppose I do.'

‘And I think we will just forget my going down to Winterborne Hall. That would not be a wise move.'

‘True.'

‘Now I would like to put my mind and energy back on the reason I came over here in the first place,' she said as a large hospital came into view on their right. ‘We seem to have arrived and I happen to be feeling quite nervous.'

He glanced over at her and his expression carried sincere regret. ‘What a selfish bastard I am,' he murmured. ‘Yes, of course you must be nervous—as must Rebecca. Yet here I am, consumed with my own pathetic needs. I am so sorry, Marina. For everything. Forgive me.'

‘There is nothing to forgive. Things happen sometimes which have no rhyme or reason.'

‘Do they? I'm not so sure. I have come to hold the view that things are written, that fate has plans for all of us.'

She wondered if he was talking about his brother's death, as well as his best friend's. Did he believe he'd been fated to become the Earl of Winterborne so that he would be in a better position to take care of his best friend's family? It was a romantic idea, but Marina held no such views on death. When you'd seen someone die of cancer it was hard to believe in anything like that.

James shrugged off a frown and leant forward, tapping William on the shoulder. Thankfully, the chauffeur had had the radio playing and did not appear to have been listening to them.

His head twisted round a little. ‘Yes, My Lord?'

‘Let us off at the front entrance, William, then go and find a park. I will be taking Marina in to meet Rebecca and staying a while to visit. Wait for me in the foyer and I'll find you when I come down.'

‘Very well, My Lord.' If he'd heard anything of what had gone on, he gave no indication of it.

Marina popped out of the back seat, unaided, while James collected the overnight bag Henry had lent her from the boot. It was a snazzy little red leather number, and easily accommodated her nightwear, toiletries, plus some casual clothes.

When James joined her on the top steps of the hospital entrance and put his hand lightly on her elbow, she automatically shot him a warning glance. He rolled his eyes but took his hand off.

‘This is ridiculous,' he muttered from beside her on their way through the huge glass doors.

‘Maybe,' she returned crisply. ‘But it's the way it's going to be.'

‘You're a hard woman.'

‘Not at all. I have a feeling you're spoilt where the opposite sex is concerned. Not enough women have said no to you in the past! But you're not that irresistible, Your Lordship.'

‘Oh, my God, we're not back to that, are we?'

‘We certainly are!'

He muttered an expression under his breath which she doubted would have found favour with Henry.

Marina almost smiled. There was something rather satisfying in taking the reins where this situation was concerned. She wasn't a teacher for nothing. Bossiness came naturally to her where little boys were concerned, and underneath she had a feeling there was still a little boy in the Earl of Winterborne.

Unfortunately, there was also a big boy. A very good-looking, utterly appealing and incredibly sexy big boy!

But she wasn't going to think about that, was she? And she wasn't going to listen to that awful voice in her head any more, the wickedly dark one which kept telling her she could have this man if she wanted to. That she could go down to Winterborne Hall and spend every night in his bedroom, then wing her way back to Sydney with no one the wiser—least of all Lady Tiffany Ravensbrook, whom Henry had kindly informed her would be in Italy!