Just Joe (24 page)

"I'm a good lover,
too," he said teasingly, his eyes loving her.

Jassy drew his hands to
her body. "Prove it," she challenged in sweet seduction. "Prove
it to me again."

Cole was never a man to
turn down a challenge. He began pressing teasing little kisses to her skin,
working his way from her temple to her shoulder with a thoroughly arousing
skill. "You taste so good," he murmured distractedly. "Not at
all like an egghead."

Suddenly his lips stopped
moving. Jassy felt him stiffening by degrees until he had finally pulled away
enough to meet her eyes. They held each other for one taut moment before his
gaze shifted back to the table.

"Another egg..."
he muttered blankly. "Oh my God!" His eyes raced back to hers,
searchingly intent. "How would I like another
egghead?"
His
tone begged for it to be true.

Jassy smiled lovingly.
"Another egghead," she agreed, and brought his hand to her stomach.

The three days before the
wedding passed in a blur for Mattie. It seemed there was so much to do, and so
little time to do it in. Joe spent every minute with her from the moment she
got up until the second she went to bed. It was then, though, that he quietly
disappeared.

Maybe they both needed
time, she thought wisely. They were going to have to adjust to the idea of
being husband and wife. Time enough for the loving, she decided, as long as
they had the love. Did he understand the niggling uneasiness she felt? she
wondered. They had made love outside the bounds of marriage, and although she
would never regret it, because he had given her so much that night, she wanted
to make it right with the vows they would take. Old-fashioned but true. She
wanted to belong to him in the eyes of God and the world before she belonged to
him again in body. She somehow felt that Joe felt the same way, and it made her
heart twist with emotion.

They had moved her things from
her cottage to Joe's ranch, where Joe told her they would spend the rest of
their lives together. Mattie's eyes softened at the memory of those words.
She'd settled into one of the spare bedrooms where she slept soundly for two
nights and dreamed of Joe.

When Saturday came she was
finally at peace with herself and the world. Every moment of that day was
preserved in her mind with beautiful, aching clarity: the sweet smell of the
white roses Joe had arranged for in the small chapel, the sharp crispness of
the air, the probing fingers of light that streamed through the stained-glass
windows and reflected in rainbow prisms all around them. Jassy and Cole stood
as witnesses to the vows she and Joe exchanged, and overwhelming reverence
appeared in Joe's eyes as he bent to seal their marriage with the brush of his
lips against hers.

Joe held her hand in a
gentle grip on the drive home, as Cole and Jassy followed behind for a
celebratory meal. They exchanged few words, but let the silence speak for them.

Once back at the ranch,
Mattie changed from the white dress Joe had insisted on into a pair of
comfortable slacks and a sweater. Jassy joined her in the kitchen to help her
prepare the feast they would share. Mattie was bubbling over with happiness,
laughing and bright-eyed as she and Jassy chatted over the meal preparation.

"You're really happy,
aren't you?" Jassy asked quietly.

Mattie turned to her in
surprise. "Yes, I'm really happy. It was a long road.. .but then, I
imagine you know all about that."

Their eyes held in silent
communication, then they both smiled.

"What about
Joe?" Jassy asked softly.

"We're going to be a
family now," Mattie answered, radiant joy shining in her words.
"Neither of us will ever be alone again. We'll have each other and—" she
hesitated for a moment "—we'll have our baby."

"You—you're going to
have a baby? Oh my gosh!" Jassy's hand moved to her own abdomen, and their
eyes met in sudden comprehension.

"Christmas Eve!"
they murmured together, laughing.

" I can't
believe...!"

"Does Cole
know...?"

"This is wonderful!
I'll have someone to complain to about morning sickness."

"And not being able
to see your toes."

"And craving jalepeno
ice cream."

They broke off, laughing,
as the web of friendship tightened its hold around them.

Joe had disappeared
immediately after they reached the ranch, ostensibly to change from his formal
clothes into something more casual. Cole finally found Joe in his study, still
in his suit, although the tie was now gone and the shirt opened. One hand was curled
protectively around a half-full tumbler of neat Scotch that looked as if it
hadn't been touched. He sat with his back to the door, hidden in the depths of
the leather wing chair he had angled to a view of the gathering dusk.

"Is this a private
party, or can anybody join in?" Cole's drawl from the doorway drew Joe's
eyes from the window.

"Pull up a chair old
buddy and join me in a drink."

Cole studied Joe for a
second before straddling a straight-back chair beside the desk and complying
with his friend's invitation.

"What are we drinking
to, Joe?" Cole asked with studied idleness, studying the liquor in his
glass.

"To women," Joe
proposed quietly, solemnly. "And the love they bring."

They drank to that in
silence that seemed to stretch and hang between them. Finally Joe spoke, his
voice rusty.

"I had to keep
her."

Cole sighed. "I know
you did, Joe."

Again the silence fell
between them, and this time it was Cole who spoke.

"Jassy's going to
have a baby," he said softly. Joe flinched, but Cole didn't notice.
"I can't tell you how it feels, knowing the woman you love is going to
have your child." Cole's voice was colored with wonder and a shining
contentment that made Joe envious.

"You don't have to
tell me," he told Cole thickly. "I know."

Cole's eyes raced to
Joe's, searching out the hidden truth. "A baby? Joe, is that how you're
holding on to her? Is that why she married you?"

Joe smiled mirthlessly,
his eyes glittering oddly. "I did you one better, Cole. You had your way
of holding on to Jassy. I found my way of holding on to Mattie. It's the oldest
trick in the book, you know. And I was enough of a bastard to use it." Joe
drained the contents of his glass.

"Desperate enough,
anyway," Cole corrected. "Did you plan to get her pregnant,
Joe?"

"No," Joe
grated, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. "No. I guess I'm not
that much of a bastard. I didn't think that she could—hell, I didn't think at
all! I was just loving her."

A tap on the door
prevented Cole from saying anything further. Jassy peeked in and announced,
"Dinner's ready."

Joe's gaze held Cole's for
one long second, and Cole nodded imperceptibly. When they left the room
together, they left the conversation behind.

Hours later, after the
dinner was finished and Jassy and Cole had left, Mattie stood in the doorway of
the study looking at Joe. He seemed to be lost to her, though more than
anything she needed to have him with her. She knew for certain now that there
was something wrong. It wasn't just a desire to make things right with their
marriage vows that held Joe away from her, there was something hurting him. She
had to help him, to bring him peace as he had brought it to her.

"Joe," she
sighed his name, and brought him from his reverie. "Are you coming to
bed?"

His face blanched, and his
body trembled.

"Joe?" Mattie
repeated, shocked by the reaction, moving into the room to his side. She
pressed against him, closing her arms around him as if in-doing this she could
absorb the pain she knew he felt.

"I didn't know if
you'd... want that," he told her finally, his eyes burning as he cherished
the feel of her against him.

"Not want it?"
she repeated incredulously. "I've spent two months walking around, empty.
Craving your touch, the feel of you... inside of me—"

"Mattie!" Joe
groaned, his whole body tightening and taut.

"I have your
baby...here." She brought his hand to her body and pressed hard, so that
he could feel the swell of his baby. "But it's not the same as being full
with you!"

"You want me... You
really... ?"

Mattie's hand covered his
and moved it downward to the juncture of her thighs, where the heat and aching
for his touch was tangible. "Don't you want to be here, Joe?" she
demanded tautly, her muscles clenching to close around his hand.

"Oh, God!" Joe's
fingers moved spasmodically, caressing and arousing and worshipping.

"Come to bed with
me," Mattie whispered again, arching into his touch. "Make love with
me."

"Yes," Joe
gritted out hungrily. "Now, Mattie. Let me touch you now."

Mattie felt the iron-hard evidence
of his need thrusting into the cradle of her hips through the confines of their
clothes and moaned breathlessly. "Can you.. .ah, Joe! Can you make it to
the bedroom?"

"No..." Joe's
hands had already unzipped her slacks, and his hand slipped inside to find the
hot moist throbbing he had aroused. "So sweet..." he whispered,
caressing the flowering bud until Mattie's legs gave out and she began to sink
to the floor.

"Touch you..."
she told him hungrily. "I want to touch you, too."

"Can't stop... I can't
even stop to get my clothes off!"

"Let me..."
Mattie pleaded helplessly, her thighs shifting and tautening as she melted
further into the heady passion he aroused in her.

Within seconds they were
naked. Mattie's skin was almost painfully sensitized to the feel of the soft
carpet brushing against her back and the wiry hair on Joe's chest caressing her
breasts. She felt him everywhere, she thought dazedly. Inside and out, she felt
his heat, his hardness, his need. She could only writhe as he went into her,
taking him deeper and deeper into her body, as the beauty of the act of love
brought tears to her eyes.

"I love you so
much!" she cried on the crest of their passion.

Joe trembled, stopped
breathing and released his iron control. "Love you..." he whispered
back, his lips moving against hers with every word. "Belong to
you..."

It could have been hours
later when they finally moved. Mattie stretched luxuriously against Joe,
feeling him in every muscle and sinew.

"My God!" Joe
muttered, stunned. "On the floor! I couldn't even control myself long
enough to do it right."

Mattie snuggled closer,
laughing silently.

"I've got news for
you, Joe. If it had gotten any 'righter,' I would have passed out."

Joe didn't even seem to
hear her. "It won't always be like this," he told her urgently, his
eyes desperately wary. "I can control what I feel. You won't always be
obligated—"

"Obligated!"
Mattie repeated, stunned. "You still don't understand, do you, Joe?"
She tried to draw away, but Joe's hard arms closed on her and urged her back
against him. "You're a part of me. I love you."

Joe flinched, and Mattie
rolled on top of him, pinning him beneath her. "Did you hear me? I love
you. It's not a word I take lightly. I love you. Don't you see? I've always
loved you! I called it friendship, because I knew friendship could be good. I
didn't know love could be. I thought love could only hurt, and what I felt for
you
healed."

"The baby..."
Joe began.

"Yes, the baby. I
love our baby, too, Joe. But that's not why I came back. I knew about the baby
a month ago—"

"A month ago?"
Joe's shocked question made her smile.

"There are some
pretty definite signs, you know. Maybe I wasn't a hundred percent sure, but almost.
And I was happy, Joe.,Ecstatic."

"Mattie—"

"But I didn't come
back to you then, Joe. I could have, if it was only for the baby. But I was
determined to come back to you a whole woman, without ghosts, without the past
hanging over us. You deserved so much more than the frightened child I was when
I left you."