Just Like Heaven (25 page)

Mei Lee
looked perplexed
.

“Pat Benatar.
”

“Who?”

“’Hit Me With Your Best Shot.’”

“I’m not going to hit you.”

“No, it’s another song of hers: Pat Benatar. You’ve got to expand your horizons when it comes to music.” That gave him another thought. “If this is heaven, why isn’t there any music? I thought there were supposed to be angels singing overhead. And what about the babies with wings who go around shooting people with arrows?”

“Babies? Wings? Arrows?” She shook her head in confusion.

“You know, babies go around shooting people in the heart with arrows.”

“You mean Cupid?”

“Doesn’t it seem a little vicious to have a baby floating around shooting people in the chest with an arrow? God has a wicked sense of humor.”

“
I can only guess you’re
thinking about babies with wings plucking the harpsichord.
Cupid is a boyish figure in mythology. Those he shoots with his arrow are overcome with uncontrollable desire for another person.”

“Sort of like soul mates.”

“Did Roland and I appear overcome with uncontrollable desire for each other?”

“You sure were passionate about arguing. The way I see it, if you didn’t care so much for each other then y
ou wouldn’t have
felt so strongly about your opinions.”

Mei Lee
’s bland expression morphed into one of respect. “I like you, Nick.”

He leaned toward her, as though confiding a secret. “Sorry, I’m taken. Apparently by a woman I barely know.” He slapped the book in his hand. “It probably says so in here.
Am I right?
”

“You are.
”

“
Back to what we were talking about; earth being a living hell.
Love and war are constantly entangled. And war usually wins
, so what’s the point of it all?
”

“Despite all the torment, p
eople
continue to hope and dream. The spirit never dies. If people
truly thought life on
e
arth
was so terrible
, why would they want to bring children into the world?”

“My thoughts exactly,”
Nick said, not meeting her eyes.

“You don’t believe that. You want children. I can tell.”

He laughed off the comment. “Right.”

“You’re not a liar, Nick. You’re just afraid. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of. When you live on
e
arth
, it’s hard not to be afraid. But only those who face their fears and do what they want
anyway are the ones who live life to the fullest. And you, Nick, are someone who lives life to the fullest.”

This made him look into her eyes. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“Nick Malloy? You’re right. I don’t know anything abou
t him. But your soul? I know that person
deep down. I know him better than you do. You see, we’ve met before Nick. We’ve spent a lot of time together.
Nina is one of my closest friends, and you two have been inseparable for ages.
”

“In heaven,” he said with a chuckle. “Right.”

“Roland mentioned that, despite everything you’ve experienced, you continue to believe you’re dreaming.”

“That’s right.
It makes sense. I don’t believe in…” He lifted both arms on either side of him. “
…
all this.”

“You don’t believe in it, or you’re scared to believe in it?”

“I’m not scared of anything.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Okay, if you know me so well, name something I’m scared of?”

“Love.”

“You’re insane. I loved my
mother
. I loved my brother. And according to you, I’ve loved Nina for a long time. Nice try.”

“You said love in the past tense three times. You don’t love anybody. Least of all yourself.”

“I don’t have to listen to this.” He placed Nina’s book back on the shelf.

“No, but you want to. Because you want to love. And you want a reason to love yourself. But you’re scared. Even here. But you can’t lose anyone here because they’ve already
died. Have you seen your mother
yet? How about your brother?”

He was about to walk away, but mention of his family made him stop in his tracks. As much as he didn’t want to admit it,
Mei Lee
made sense; h
e was afraid to love, to give himself over to the possibility of letting another person in. He’d lost his entire family, and while those relationships helped mold his personality, his morals, and how he viewed the world, he also knew that a romantic relationship, one where he shared his deepest dreams, thoughts, and feelings
would encourage him to share all of himself. But whomever he shared himself with would one day die, leaving a crater sized hole that would exceed the pain he’d endured after his family
members died
.

“I’ve seen my brother
.
”

“
How is he doing?
Or did you not have the strength
of character to speak with him?”

“I wasn’t afraid. I
hurried after him twice, but he left me.
Both times
.”

“And why do you think that is? If he cared about you
,
don’t you think he’d want to spend time with you?
”

“It’s a dream, and dreams
don’t make sense.
You’re off topic again. Why won’t you tell me why Roland didn’t want me and
Nina
to
live on
e
arth
at the same time?
”

“Because it’s dangerous.”

“Dangerous? On
e
arth
,
among a group of women,
saying
that soul
mates shouldn’t be together wo
n’t make you the most popular person in the room.
”

“Have you ever given extensive
thought to the idea of soul mates?”

“Like sitting around for two days without food and water with only that thought on my mind? No,
I
can’t say that I have.”

“Smart ass.”

“Whoa. Did you just…”
He gazed skyward
. “Did you hear that? She cursed. What kind of punishment should we dole out?”

“
If you don’t want answers—”

“Okay,” he said, raising both hands in surrender. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Please continue.”

“On
e
arth
, why do you think we’re always looking for our soul mate?”

“
I don’t believe in soul mates. In my opinion, the whole
idea that in a world of seven b
illion people, you can find your other half is ludicrous.”

“I agree.”

Nick hadn’t anticipated that response. “You do?”

“Whole
heartedly. It’s
why we rarely
recommend
that
soul mates
live on
e
arth
at the same time.”

“So you’re saying it’s possible.”

“You’re proof of t
hat. I’m just
saying it’s
not
a popular
decision.
”

“So Nina and I decided to be on
e
arth
at the same time?” He gave her a skeptical stare. “
Why would we do that?”

“You’re li
ke me. You want to experience a lot during
each incarnation
,
so you won’t need to return to earth
too
often.”

“How many
times have
I live
d
on earth
?”

“Twenty-three.
But for every trip you took, Nina visited
almost six times. She
isn’t as
courageous as you are.
In the past, s
he
preferred
only a little sp
iritual development at a time, but she wanted to
become braver
. O
therwise
, she feared
that you two might grow apart.”

“But soul mates are forever, right?”

“Yes. But they may separate. It’s uncommon, but it happens.”

“She’s afraid that I might leave her?” He
entertained
the concept of soul mates because
deep down,
he wanted it believe it was true. Nothing would have pleased him more.

Mei Lee said, “Nina just needs a little push to challenge herself. She knew that you were strong enough to deal with any hardship, so she wanted to be by our side while you both encounter
the difficult journey ahead of you.”

“You know what our life will be like on earth?”

“If you return? I have no idea.”

“You and Rol
and have talked about a chart
. What’s that all about?”

“
Y
ou and Nina consulted us about your intention to return to
earth during the same lifetime. I agreed because I thought Nina needed this test.
Roland obviously
still disagrees with this course of action. We met with
council members to argue your case.”

“There
are
lawyers in heaven?” Nick asked with a smirk. “No wonder everyone sues each other on
e
arth
: if they do it in heaven, the most perfect place in existence, then why not do it on
e
arth
?”

“I didn’t say we have lawyers. But Roland and I brought your
case
to the council and represented you and Nina on your behalf.”

“Who are these council members? Is it like on
e
arth
? You just meet them behind closed doors, hand them some cash, and
you both go your separate ways?”

Mei Lee
stared at him. “That pessimism is why I don’t want to return to
e
arth
for quite some time still. But no, the council is
composed of
mature, responsible individuals
who have never visited
Earth
.
So they are untouched by
the slightest bit of cynicism. B
ut God has exposed them to the harsh realities of life on
e
arth
, so they are aware of the difficulties that await us during each incarnation. The council
serve
s
as God’s spokesmen
when it comes to those who want to revisit
e
arth
. They make certain that the goals and objectives that each person hopes to experience or accomplish on
e
arth
are not made without great consideration.”

“So you’re saying that, in heaven, we draw up our future life on
e
arth
then go down and live that existence?”

“Yes.”

“
But I thought you said you don’t know what my future will be like with Nina.”

“I don’
t even know if you’ll have a future with Nina.
When you
two
created your contract with God
, you decided not to write anything beyond
this point in time.”

“Why?”

“Only you, Nina, and God know the reasons.”

“But you’re
saying we
can creat
e the future? How about if wanted to win the lottery? How would that work? Do I just write it down in that book, and say, ‘when I’m thirty five, I want to win a million dollars, and then when I hit that age, I
just enter
a
convenience store, purchase a ticket, and a day later, I’m rich?’”

“It’s not that easy.
B
efore
each
incarnation, you
d
etermine
what you hope
to learn
and experience
in order to perfect your soul.”

He adopted a serious tone and facial expression: “Yes, ladies and gentlemen, if you find heaven a little stuffy and boring, might I suggest the promise of death and destruction on the
number one destination getaway in the universe:
e
arth
. Here you’ll find all of the murder and catastrophe
you can ever ask for.
”